focusing on boring things

GreenTeaDisease

chiquimonkey wrote:

well maybe find something that interests you more that is in the same field? that way you're using the education/experience you already have, but doing something that holds your interest more?

well obviously that is goal, I mean I that was the goal when I took THIS job, and every other job I've had.

but I haven't been here for a year yet, so if I were to leave, I'd have to pay them $8000. and even when the year is up, I'm honestly not sure where to look. I've been starting trying to search for ideas and whatnot (I think I have it with consulting altogether, it hasn't worked out for me after 6 years) but I'm still kind of lost. I could possibly work in industry, but I don't think I'd like it. Therefore the only thing left would be the federal government, but I really don't want to move to DC anytime soon. I also just fear that I'm really not going to like ANY job, because it will never occupy my thoughts in the same way that school does. (and you'll always be forced to sit in an office all day)

but in the mean time, every day is like a challenge not to throw my computer or myself out the window. my brain just doesn't like it, no matter how hard I try to focus! (and yes, I did try to go to "therapy" for this- I feared it would happen again so I tried to be proactive and look into while I was in school. I went to a psychiatrist and a psychologist. they just looked at me like I was nuts and had no idea what to suggest).

PJPixie

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

well obviously that is goal, I mean I that was the goal when I took THIS job, and every other job I've had.

but I haven't been here for a year yet, so if I were to leave, I'd have to pay them $8000. and even when the year is up, I'm honestly not sure where to look. I've been starting trying to search for ideas and whatnot (I think I have it with consulting altogether, it hasn't worked out for me after 6 years) but I'm still kind of lost. I could possibly work in industry, but I don't think I'd like it. Therefore the only thing left would be the federal government, but I really don't want to move to DC anytime soon. I also just fear that I'm really not going to like ANY job, because it will never occupy my thoughts in the same way that school does. (and you'll always be forced to sit in an office all day)

but in the mean time, every day is like a challenge not to throw my computer or myself out the window. my brain just doesn't like it, no matter how hard I try to focus! (and yes, I did try to go to "therapy" for this- I feared it would happen again so I tried to be proactive and look into while I was in school. I went to a psychiatrist and a psychologist. they just looked at me like I was nuts and had no idea what to suggest).

Teach..........you love school so much, try teaching. Kids are amazing....maybe they could be your hobby and YOU could learn something from them EVERYDAY.

chiquimonkey

what's wrong with working for industry? if you haven't tried it how do you know you won't like it? are you in an academic setting? i would think that would be more intellectually stimulating, that's my situation anyway.

there are federal offices all over the country, not just DC.

and sure, NOBODY wants to work. i love my job, but would i rather be doing a bunch of other things? sure. everybody is in that same boat, so you aren't special in that regard.

and if you really did see a psychiatrist/psychologist and they acted like you were nuts, you went to the wrong ones. you might want to explore that again, if you are having trouble focusing it may be more something biochemical.

chiquimonkey

PJPixie wrote:

Teach..........you love school so much, try teaching. Kids are amazing....maybe they could be your hobby and YOU could learn something from them EVERYDAY.

that's an excellent idea.

LeilaMoonTurtle

what age group?
not very young I hope

from the bit I've read
it is not a great idea

chiquimonkey wrote:

that's an excellent idea.

Spunkie

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

does it bother anyone else as much as it bothers me? Seriously it's like a gut reaction for me to resist putting my head on things I am not interested in. it sort of makes me head tingle and I feel slightly nauseous.

I need to go to school again...I wish I had the money. work makes me want to gauge my eyeballs out.

Me too.

GreenTeaDisease

PJPixie wrote:

Teach..........you love school so much, try teaching. Kids are amazing....maybe they could be your hobby and YOU could learn something from them EVERYDAY.

I do like teaching, it was a career path I did consider in college. but I REALLY want to solve environmental problems and do economics for a living. that's what I want to do, I just can't seem to find anyone who will let me.

pineapplesandwaves

PJPixie wrote:

Teach..........you love school so much, try teaching. Kids are amazing....maybe they could be your hobby and YOU could learn something from them EVERYDAY.

I'm an elementary school teacher, and it's great! It's definitely difficult and very frustrating at times, and it's a lot of work (much more than the general public realizes and cares to give credit for), but it's rewarding and I NEVER have a boring day. One of the greatest perks for me is that while there is a routine (which I like to have), every day is different. There's so much variety.

Plus, teachers are constantly taking courses and attending workshops. Teachers are always learning.

GreenTeaDisease

chiquimonkey wrote:

what's wrong with working for industry? if you haven't tried it how do you know you won't like it? are you in an academic setting? i would think that would be more intellectually stimulating, that's my situation anyway.

I don't like business, I like science and policy. I don't like day-to-day bottom-line kinds of jobs. I talked to a few industry positions while I was looking for this job, and they didn't really appeal to me, so I'm just not sure if it would be something I'd want to invest another year of my life in.

chiquimonkey wrote:

there are federal offices all over the country, not just DC.

I know that, but for the kinds of things I'd want to do they are mostly centered on DC.

chiquimonkey wrote:

and sure, NOBODY wants to work. i love my job, but would i rather be doing a bunch of other things? sure. everybody is in that same boat, so you aren't special in that regard.

I actually love *working* you know, in the sense of doing something productive, challenging, etc. I just don't like...jobs. It just makes me feel so bad about myself because I know I could be doing a better job, but I just can't FOCUS.

LeilaMoonTurtle

o poor you


you know some times people start their own organizations and such

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I do like teaching, it was a career path I did consider in college. but I REALLY want to solve environmental problems and do economics for a living. that's what I want to do, I just can't seem to find anyone who will let me.

chiquimonkey

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I don't like business, I like science and policy. I don't like day-to-day bottom-line kinds of jobs. I talked to a few industry positions while I was looking for this job, and they didn't really appeal to me, so I'm just not sure if it would be something I'd want to invest another year of my life in.

there are R&D jobs in industry, it's not all pencil pushing. then again if you are wanting to do something for the environment, perhaps a nonprofit or something would be more in line with what your heart is wanting. not as much money of course, but you can't have everything.

I know that, but for the kinds of things I'd want to do they are mostly centered on DC.

might be opportunities on a state level rather than federal.

I actually love *working* you know, in the sense of doing something productive, challenging, etc. I just don't like...jobs. It just makes me feel so bad about myself because I know I could be doing a better job, but I just can't FOCUS.

what is the difference between working and working at a job? if you're making the connection between your job and feeling bad about yourself....it's not about your job.

PJPixie

pineapplesandwaves wrote:

I'm an elementary school teacher, and it's great! It's definitely difficult and very frustrating at times, and it's a lot of work (much more than the general public realizes and cares to give credit for), but it's rewarding and I NEVER have a boring day. One of the greatest perks for me is that while there is a routine (which I like to have), every day is different. There's so much variety.

Plus, teachers are constantly taking courses and attending workshops. Teachers are always learning.

I wish I could shake your hand!! Teachers are so under appreciated.
They are NOT babysitters and are truly amazing people!!

the wolf

PJPixie wrote:

I wish I could shake your hand!! Teachers are so under appreciated.
They are NOT babysitters and are truly amazing people!!

i agree. Teachers rock. well most do. i had some shitty teachers that really didnt care. but i chalk some of that up to the not being appreciated, and the shitty pay.

GreenTeaDisease

chiquimonkey wrote:

there are R&D jobs in industry, it's not all pencil pushing. then again if you are wanting to do something for the environment, perhaps a nonprofit or something would be more in line with what your heart is wanting. not as much money of course, but you can't have everything.



might be opportunities on a state level rather than federal.



what is the difference between working and working at a job? if you're making the connection between your job and feeling bad about yourself....it's not about your job.

yes, yes, obviously I have thought about all these things. I'm not going to get into all the intricate details of my career. I am quite aware of the various opportunities in my profession, I just haven't quite found one that fits my particular situation, but that's not really my point.

most people can force their minds to focus on things. I can't.

there is a difference between working and working at a job. working at a job is just not SATISFYING. It is extremely difficult to explain, but let's just put it this way: "It's not that I'm lazy bob, it's that I just don't care."

plus I really, really, really have never been able to sit still for so long and adhere to other people's schedules. I function well in school because if I am having trouble focusing on one thing, I can go away from it- do something totally different, work on another class, hell watch TV, read a book if possible, and then come back to it when my mind is more ready to focus on it, even if that's at 2 am or the next day-whenever I happen to get inspired. Being forced to sit in an office and stare at *one* spreadsheet between the hours of 9 and 7 with no other options just isn't how I work. I'm sorry, it just isn't. I physically can't do it (and frankly it's hard to inspired when your entire purpose in life is data manipulation for projects that no one will tell you anything about and you don't understand anyway because you're not an electrical engineer!). Go ahead everyone, insult me, swear at me, call me names. that's how it is. I've been dealing with this shit for years.

the wolf

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

yes, yes, obviously I have thought about all these things. I'm not going to get into all the intricate details of my career. I am quite aware of the various opportunities in my profession, I just haven't quite found one that fits my particular situation, but that's not really my point.

most people can force their minds to focus on things. I can't.

there is a difference between working and working at a job. working at a job is just not SATISFYING. It is extremely difficult to explain, but let's just put it this way: "It's not that I'm lazy bob, it's that I just don't care."

plus I really, really, really have never been able to sit still for so long and adhere to other people's schedules. I function well in school because if I am having trouble focusing on one thing, I can go away from it- do something totally different, work on another class, hell watch TV, read a book if possible, and then come back to it when my mind is more ready to focus on it. Being forced to sit in an office and stare at *one* spreadsheet between the hours of 9 and 7 with no other options just isn't how I work. I'm sorry, it just isn't. I physically can't do it. Go ahead everyone, insult me, swear at me, call me names. that's how it is. I've been dealing with this shit for years.

okay you and i have discussed b4 that i believe you have depression issues.

depression makes it really hard to focus on things you like, hell love, let alone boring shit that you really dont care about.

maybe you are ADD , maybe both. i still stand behind going to talk to someone, and will untill you are on here only talking about how great your life is. : )

GreenTeaDisease

the wolf wrote:

okay you and i have discussed b4 that i believe you have depression issues.

depression makes it really hard to focus on things you like, hell love, let alone boring shit that you really dont care about.

maybe you are ADD , maybe both. i still stand behind going to talk to someone, and will untill you are on here only talking about how great your life is. : )

the psychiatrist I saw said I probably am not ADD because I was able to work very well in college and because women with ADD are usually not so hyper active.

ha, and if I am depressed working is the cause! My entire...being...seems to be brought down when I am in a job full time as opposed to when I am learning.

chiquimonkey

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

the psychiatrist I saw said I probably am not ADD because I was able to work very well in college and because women with ADD are usually not so hyper active.

ha, and if I am depressed working is the cause! My entire...being...seems to be brought down when I am in a job full time as opposed to when I am learning.

and when did you see this psychiatrist? if it was years ago then things change. and if it's not a matter of focus but not caring about work, then that's AGAIN an issue of depression. that hinders focus. if you really are concerned about focus then see a doctor about it.

were you happy even when you were in school? i'm going to guess no.

you can use everything as a smokescreen (work, etc) but until you deal with the common denominator, nothing else is going to get better.

GreenTeaDisease

chiquimonkey wrote:

and when did you see this psychiatrist? if it was years ago then things change. and if it's not a matter of focus but not caring about work, then that's AGAIN an issue of depression. that hinders focus. if you really are concerned about focus then see a doctor about it.

were you happy even when you were in school? i'm going to guess no.

you can use everything as a smokescreen (work, etc) but until you deal with the common denominator, nothing else is going to get better.

I saw the psychiatrist last year. fall 2006-winter 2007.

I was happy in school. not all the time of course, no one is. But when you are in work, you're sitting alone all day in silence. Whatever problems I am having (and right now I have a lot of things on my mind)- there is just too much time to think about them at work. That's why by default, school is just way better. your mind is active, you feel productive, you are learning, you have hopes and dreams that you are going to do something amazing in your life (sounds cheesy, but it's so true. when you are in school, your professors encourage you and you are free to express ideas and dive into projects and you hear about amazing earth-changing things that people are doing in the world and you learn about exciting science and you are free to think about anything you want without having to worry if you're ever going to get paid to think about such things, because things that are interesting are not the things that allow you pay your rent and you honestly think that you are going to get a cool job and rock the world and then you get a job and all hope dies).

chiquimonkey

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I saw the psychiatrist last year. fall 2006-winter 2007.

I was happy in school. not all the time of course, no one is. But when you are in work, you're sitting alone all day in silence. Whatever problems I am having (and right now I have a lot of things on my mind)- there is just too much time to think about them at work. That's why by default, school is just way better. your mind is active, you feel productive, you are learning, you have hopes and dreams that you are going to do something amazing in your life (sounds cheesy, but it's so true. when you are in school, your professors encourage you and you are free to express ideas and dive into projects and you hear about amazing earth-changing things that people are doing in the world and you learn about exciting science and you are free to think about anything you want without having to worry if you're ever going to get paid to think about such things, because things that are interesting are not the things that allow you pay your rent and you honestly think that you are going to get a cool job and rock the world and then you get a job and all hope dies).

well i'd consider seeing someone new just in case, with one's body changing all the time, and medications and such, there might be something different going on now that can be treated so focus won't be such a challenge!

all hope dies once you get a job?? sure, life isn't as idealistic as when one is in school, but just because you finish school doesn't mean you finish learning. goes back to the suggestion someone gave about a hobby, doing something outside of work that stimulates your mind and truly interests you. even though i like my job and it's stimulating intellectually i still seek out things beyond work that feed into that need. no job is going to fulfill you completely as a human being.

Allie

wait I can relate to this, I am a people person. I don't do well with "desk' jobs or office type jobs, esp. computer oriented type of work.
If I had to stare at spread sheets I wouldn't be happy either.