god, I just hate myself so much. I can't even take care of myself properly. it's thursday and I've only worked out once this week. Now I'm going to have to go tonight, but it since it's night it will be too crowded to lift, so I'll have to do more cardio, and I *NEED* lift!!! what the fuck was I thinking???
Yeah, but it's kind of weak out of context and it'll get lost on people without the GTD reference/background info..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
god, I just hate myself so much. I can't even take care of myself properly. it's thursday and I've only worked out once this week. Now I'm going to have to go tonight, but it since it's night it will be too crowded to lift, so I'll have to do more cardio, and I *NEED* lift!!! what the fuck was I thinking???
god, I just hate myself so much. I can't even take care of myself properly. it's thursday and I've only worked out once this week. Now I'm going to have to go tonight, but it since it's night it will be too crowded to lift, so I'll have to do more cardio, and I *NEED* lift!!! what the fuck was I thinking???
What's your shrink's number? Seriously, pm me and I'll call him/her because you are losing it more than usual..Wow....
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
an excuse? I'm not making an excuse. this is my fault, I hate myself for it.
Please reread everything you have ever written on this message board. All you do is make excuses for everything. You have to be kidding me with the above comment..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Please reread everything you have ever written on this message board. All you do is make excuses for everything. You have to be kidding me with the above comment..
I'm not making an excuse. *I* cannot get my ass up in the morning. it is *my* fault. there is *no* reason for it.
sounds like you may need a new therapist...
and perhaps some anti depressants.
you cannot blame yourself for chemical imbalances which is probably the cause for you feeling the way you do.
.
agreed.
i also know this will follow with a list of reasons *why* this is not doable, etc. i feel for ya GTD i really do......but you've got to do SOMEthing.
as to most of the posts in here.....sweet bejeebus! sure, a couple were funny ....but honestly, way to kick someone when they're down. i think we ALL *know* GTD's MO pretty well, so if you really can't stand her threads, her complaints, her outlook.......why come in here and bash her? move on to something else. and yea, she may start a lot of threads, she may be quite the downer, definite downer outlook - i would LOVE to read a few truly HAPPY threads/posts by her - but damn....if you can't be constructive....don't be mean.
So is it the fault of yours or your shitty job, your tiny room, your alarm clock, your weight, your clothes, the weather, your shrink, Boston, the equipment and/or the people at your gym?? Okay, this isn't fair..I'll stop..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
So is it the fault of yours or your shitty job, your tiny room, your alarm clock, your weight, your clothes, the weather, your shrink, Boston, the equipment and/or the people at your gym?? Okay, this isn't fair..I'll stop..
no, it is my fault, I never said it was the fault of any of that, I was just answering question. it is MY FUCKING FAULT!!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whyt the FUCK do you think I hate myself with a raging vengence and want to smash my head with a bat?
as to most of the posts in here.....sweet bejeebus! sure, a couple were funny ....but honestly, way to kick someone when they're down. i think we ALL *know* GTD's MO pretty well, so if you really can't stand her threads, her complaints, her outlook.......why come in here and bash her? move on to something else. and yea, she may start a lot of threads, she may be quite the downer, definite downer outlook - i would LOVE to read a few truly HAPPY threads/posts by her - but damn....if you can't be constructive....don't be mean.
lol..the above is a not so well disguised mean post..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
god, I just hate myself so much. I can't even take care of myself properly. it's thursday and I've only worked out once this week. Now I'm going to have to go tonight, but it since it's night it will be too crowded to lift, so I'll have to do more cardio, and I *NEED* lift!!! what the fuck was I thinking???
ok first off, you need to try and chill a little. and yes i know how annoying it can be to hear someone say that to you when all you wnat to do is curl up and die a slow painful death quickly.
second, so what if you miss the gym. just get back into it one day at a time and try not to think of missing your workouts as the be all and end all of life. it happens, we get seriously waylaid by shit. dont do more cardio , just do what you normally do and next time go at your regular time and start where you left off.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
GTD is there anything you like about yourself, or anything you love to do?
please don't say working out, because i don't think this does anything good to you. it just seems to be hovering over your head all the time and makes you even more sick.
but i'm not bashing you. you just have to get a new perspective on life.
i also know this will follow with a list of reasons *why* this is not doable, etc. i feel for ya GTD i really do......but you've got to do SOMEthing.
I just said, I am taking 400 mgs of wellbutrin each day. for the 7 years prior to that I was taking fluoxetine. I am also taking lorazepam. I am currently seeing *4* doctors and trying to get in with 2 more. (I have 2 appointments tomorrow alone). how is that not doing something??? When I started just freaking out every day over a month ago, I just immediately started making appointments and changing my medications, changing my birth control pills, everything.
no, it is my fault, I never said it was the fault of any of that, I was just answering question. it is MY FUCKING FAULT!!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whyt the FUCK do you think I hate myself with a raging vengence and want to smash my head with a bat?
Maybe you should consider checking in somewhere before you smash your head with a bat..
'I want to hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
to be completely honest, I think coming on here really aggravates it for some reason.
of course it will. you post here because somehow - maybe unconsciously - you hope people would understand you and say something to cheer you up, or so. but people just don't get your situation. they don't know you personally and looking in someones mind isn't the easiest thing.
i can understand some of your worries, but for sure it doesn't help to post on a message board about it, and then wondering why it makes you feel even worse.
sure. I think that I am smart, though many people would disagree (and I don't get to use being smart at all). Also I am very kind to people and animals.
there are things I *like* to do, but I don't like doing anything anymore after becoming obese. It destroyed my life, and now I've found out that I may never be able to lose weight, at least not a significant amount. hiking, biking, going out, EVERYTHING sucks ass now.
please don't say working out, because i don't think this does anything good to you. it just seems to be hovering over your head all the time and makes you even more sick.
it does, I agree, though I did love being fit-it's pretty much the only thing I've ever done right. but I can't help it, I *have* to. not just to lose weight or whatever (I've found out that I probably won't be able to), but because I have something that could lead to serious medical problems down the road if I don't work out every day.
I just said, I am taking 400 mgs of wellbutrin each day. for the 7 years prior to that I was taking fluoxetine. I am also taking lorazepam. I am currently seeing *4* doctors and trying to get in with 2 more. (I have 2 appointments tomorrow alone). how is that not doing something??? When I started just freaking out every day over a month ago, I just immediately started making appointments and changing my medications, changing my birth control pills, everything.
so you have to do something else.
quite honestly, i think you need to completrly overhaul your entire outlook. not an easy thing to do by any stretch. i have read your posts for YEARS....and it never changes. sure, soem variations....but none the less....either you have sen the world's shittiest doctors/psychs.....or you are not following through, or you are not doing what you need, for you. people say it over and over and over....b/c it's true. it IS excuse after excuse after excuse. saying it's all your fault and there's nothing you can do about it Is an excuse. you CAN...you HAVE to....or you shall continue to be miserable and unhappy, and i hope you never do harm to yourself.
you said earlier coming here seems to aggravate it. perhaps this is true. perhaps you shouldn't. perhaps you should keep a diary/blog to get all this *out*...and then read it objectively, and/or bring it to your doctor, etc. i think being able to read what and how you think of your life might be a great help in them helping you.
anyhoo...it does just sadden me to red such posts endlessly, for years, so i cannot even imagine living with such self-loathing and such an outlook. it MUSt be exhausting and horrible. however, it does also get to a point of indifference i think for many, and thus why you get a wee bit bullied, and/or 'jokes'.....b/c yea, how else to diffuse such issues here than with humor? none of us can truly HELP you as you need. it's good to have a plac to vent, but yea.....you need new happy pills at the least.
sometimes, ok a lot of times...i read your firsts posts and laugh. then i feel guilty, b/c really it's NOT funny....but then, it IS...b/c i just cannot imagine thinking in such a way, living as you say you do, etc. bottomline...i wish you the best and hope you really WILL find/get what you need...thru meds/doctors/therapy/yourself...wherever/however you can find it.
Comments
Yeah, but it's kind of weak out of context and it'll get lost on people without the GTD reference/background info..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Wembley 18/06/07
If there was a reason, it was you.
O2 Arena 18/09/09
and perhaps some anti depressants.
you cannot blame yourself for chemical imbalances which is probably the cause for you feeling the way you do.
unfortunately most therapists suck - hard to find a good one.
What's your shrink's number? Seriously, pm me and I'll call him/her because you are losing it more than usual..Wow....
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
Please reread everything you have ever written on this message board. All you do is make excuses for everything. You have to be kidding me with the above comment..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
I'm not making an excuse. *I* cannot get my ass up in the morning. it is *my* fault. there is *no* reason for it.
agreed.
i also know this will follow with a list of reasons *why* this is not doable, etc. i feel for ya GTD i really do......but you've got to do SOMEthing.
as to most of the posts in here.....sweet bejeebus! sure, a couple were funny
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
no this is how I was losing it a month ago.
to be completely honest, I think coming on here really aggravates it for some reason.
no, it is my fault, I never said it was the fault of any of that, I was just answering question. it is MY FUCKING FAULT!!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whyt the FUCK do you think I hate myself with a raging vengence and want to smash my head with a bat?
lol..the above is a not so well disguised mean post..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
ok first off, you need to try and chill a little. and yes i know how annoying it can be to hear someone say that to you when all you wnat to do is curl up and die a slow painful death quickly.
second, so what if you miss the gym. just get back into it one day at a time and try not to think of missing your workouts as the be all and end all of life. it happens, we get seriously waylaid by shit. dont do more cardio , just do what you normally do and next time go at your regular time and start where you left off.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
please don't say working out, because i don't think this does anything good to you. it just seems to be hovering over your head all the time and makes you even more sick.
but i'm not bashing you. you just have to get a new perspective on life.
Munich, Germany 2007
I just said, I am taking 400 mgs of wellbutrin each day. for the 7 years prior to that I was taking fluoxetine. I am also taking lorazepam. I am currently seeing *4* doctors and trying to get in with 2 more. (I have 2 appointments tomorrow alone). how is that not doing something??? When I started just freaking out every day over a month ago, I just immediately started making appointments and changing my medications, changing my birth control pills, everything.
Maybe you should consider checking in somewhere before you smash your head with a bat..
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightening
and I'll overdo it'
yes, I did for like 2-3 weeks, just recently. and yes, it did make me feel better.
but I just run out of other stuff to do. I don't really speak to anyone else all day.
there you go
*takes off pants*
cmon everyone!
I'm not really going to, I just get the urge to when I feel like this.
sssh... stop trying to be distracting. and dont go waving that thing in anyone's face.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
of course it will. you post here because somehow - maybe unconsciously - you hope people would understand you and say something to cheer you up, or so. but people just don't get your situation. they don't know you personally and looking in someones mind isn't the easiest thing.
i can understand some of your worries, but for sure it doesn't help to post on a message board about it, and then wondering why it makes you feel even worse.
Munich, Germany 2007
cmon gtd u will feel better whip em off
there are things I *like* to do, but I don't like doing anything anymore after becoming obese. It destroyed my life, and now I've found out that I may never be able to lose weight, at least not a significant amount. hiking, biking, going out, EVERYTHING sucks ass now.
it does, I agree, though I did love being fit-it's pretty much the only thing I've ever done right. but I can't help it, I *have* to. not just to lose weight or whatever (I've found out that I probably won't be able to), but because I have something that could lead to serious medical problems down the road if I don't work out every day.
I know
well starting a thread with more of the same is not going to help you
and if you felt better being away from here, that should be a clue
so you have to do something else.
quite honestly, i think you need to completrly overhaul your entire outlook. not an easy thing to do by any stretch. i have read your posts for YEARS....and it never changes. sure, soem variations....but none the less....either you have sen the world's shittiest doctors/psychs.....or you are not following through, or you are not doing what you need, for you. people say it over and over and over....b/c it's true. it IS excuse after excuse after excuse. saying it's all your fault and there's nothing you can do about it Is an excuse. you CAN...you HAVE to....or you shall continue to be miserable and unhappy, and i hope you never do harm to yourself.
you said earlier coming here seems to aggravate it. perhaps this is true. perhaps you shouldn't. perhaps you should keep a diary/blog to get all this *out*...and then read it objectively, and/or bring it to your doctor, etc. i think being able to read what and how you think of your life might be a great help in them helping you.
anyhoo...it does just sadden me to red such posts endlessly, for years, so i cannot even imagine living with such self-loathing and such an outlook. it MUSt be exhausting and horrible. however, it does also get to a point of indifference i think for many, and thus why you get a wee bit bullied, and/or 'jokes'.....b/c yea, how else to diffuse such issues here than with humor? none of us can truly HELP you as you need. it's good to have a plac to vent, but yea.....you need new happy pills at the least.
sometimes, ok a lot of times...i read your firsts posts and laugh. then i feel guilty, b/c really it's NOT funny....but then, it IS...b/c i just cannot imagine thinking in such a way, living as you say you do, etc. bottomline...i wish you the best and hope you really WILL find/get what you need...thru meds/doctors/therapy/yourself...wherever/however you can find it.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow