I've been married, but never been loved...

2

Comments

  • Take some time to mourn. This will hurt for a while. But, don't waste any more of your life on this than you absolutely have to.

    28? You have 2 more lives ahead of you. Live.
    Hold On
  • gobrowns19gobrowns19 Posts: 1,447
    I've read a lot of your threads, and I think every time I've gone to reply I delete it and don't post that in the end.

    Granted I don't really know you, but don't trust what someone says why he got into it. Even if it were true, that doesn't mean he never loved you. I'm not defending him because he doesn't seem like a great guy, but that doesn't mean he wasn't at one time. Maybe. Again I don't know him. I know that someone will treat you one day like you deserve to be treated though, and treat you the way you treat them. Best of luck. :)
    Happiness is only real when shared
  • Ahhh.. All is right in the world. I am working late and CIW is starting downer threads :D

    rofl...

    seriously though...damn I feel sad now.

    :D
    ^ That was To lighten the mood.... I feel like my dog died...

    :D
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • I've recently been told that the only reason he married me was cause he thought it would of made his Dad happy:rolleyes: His Dad passed away 3 months into our relationship, but I knew him for longer...and his Dad and I really got along well.
    Kinda sucks to realize you were married cause you were 'likable' not cause you were loved:(. Seems @ 28 I've never been loved in return...go figure.

    My last girlfriend only liked me for my good looks and my money, my charm, my sexual powers, and because she thought I was "a nice guy." So I dumped her. I can't stand shallowness. And ChangeInWaves, you are better off without this nutbag. He might've ruined you, and you might not've even noticed.
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    mickeyrat wrote:
    ok , lets back up a bit. He's now living with his MOMMY ,court ordered to pay the bills in the house you once shared.whether he's actually paying it or not , he's fucking up his credit. Can't seem to grasp this thing called sobriety or how to live like and treat others like a human being.

    From where I sit he's lashing out this way cuz he knows he hurts you.So my suggestion would be to not let him see IF he hurt you with his statements.this is really some punk kid shit on his part.If at all possible ,turn a deaf ear.

    And I was serious about the restraining order.If nothing else request a hearing with the Judge to inform his/her Honor that the courts ruling is not being adhered to.

    I have to go with mickeyrat here, CiW. I didn't read the entire thread, merely the first page and this post. and this is what I thought of. your ex is not dealing well with facing his addiction and all the responsibilities he's avoided while hiding behind his addiction. So he's lashing out to hurt you like a little kid who's told he can't play anymore. to blame you for his inadequacies. those are his issues, not yours. don't believe him, don't let him hurt you......you're better than that and he's not worth it.
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • xscorchoxscorcho Posts: 409
    changeinwaves - did you FEEL like he loved you all those years? if you felt loved for those ten years, i dont really think it matters what he tells you now.
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    He's just projecting all his negativity onto you. Making it your fault, because you're unlovable. That way he can convince himself he did his best in the relationship, but it wasn't to be.
    It's bullshit, you both know what went wrong. Don't fall into the trap of taking the blame or feeling the guilt.
    He needs to face up to his failures as a husband. You're not doing him or yourself any favours by taking it all on yourself.

    Be well, you CAN move on from this. Good luck :)
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • KushikushunKushikushun Posts: 1,263
    Change...I am so sorry for you, BUT your nick is CHANGE, so girl get out of the whole old situation and turn a new leaf.

    There are ppl out there who are truly kind and loving. Listen to your instincts and dont take anything less than you deserve!!
    And you deserve a whole lot of love, admiration and a big shoulder to put your head on. Dont go for anything less!

    From what I read you are a strong woman and you'll get through this.
    Don't listen to what he is saying, he does not have his feet anywhere on the ground. Don't allow him to ruin you anymore, dont let him near you or your house. You don't have to take care of him in any way anymore! It is not your responsibility.
    Your only responsibility is to take care of yourself!

    So, take care!

    Huge hug,
    Francisca.
    Why not be mediocre and be the best at it that you can be?
  • Jearlpam0925Jearlpam0925 Deep South Philly Posts: 17,144
    Should've went to McGlinchey's.....I can't wait to help someone move today!
  • Should've went to McGlinchey's.....I can't wait to help someone move today!
    Seriously!! If you read my WTF moment of the night...you'll see I would of been much better off going drinking in the city!!
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Jearlpam0925Jearlpam0925 Deep South Philly Posts: 17,144
    Seriously!! If you read my WTF moment of the night...you'll see I would of been much better off going drinking in the city!!

    Yeah, I don't know if it was a great idea for me. Cause now I gotta go drive an hour to go help my friend's girlfriend move in Princeton. Awesome. But on an unrelated note, why was the catholic uniform closed?
  • Yeah, I don't know if it was a great idea for me. Cause now I gotta go drive an hour to go help my friend's girlfriend move in Princeton. Awesome. But on an unrelated note, why was the catholic uniform closed?
    Haha...I just PMed you on that unrelated note! :eek:
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    I divorced a mentally abusive alki when I was 24. Then I stupidly dated the same breed of man for years til I met my second husband.

    my advice is (if you must be there while he's moving out his crap) to not answer him if he speaks to you. If he insults you (or tries), remain neutral. When ppl want a reaction, this pisses them off when you are neutral. I'd read a magazine if you must be there when he moves. File your nails, hum a song...

    I realize I said I was leaving the board, but I was lurking and felt I must reply to you.
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    i know you don't know me, but i've read a few of your posts/threads and it sounds like you have been through so much recently. i really feel for you. if you ever need someone to chat or vent to, feel free to pm me... some of the things you have posted, i have had similar experiences. best of luck to you.

    you are a great person to talk to.

    and to the original poster, just remember this from the lyrics i posted:

    "And if I keep my chin up
    I still see clouds that look like you
    So look down is what I do"
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • you cannot be with someone who doesn't loves you.divorce you ,is the best even if you haven't kids.
    "You're the eve of my destruction in the garden of fears"
  • the wolfthe wolf Posts: 7,027
    so i see not much has changed since i've been away.
    Peace, Love.


    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • the wolf wrote:
    so i see not much has changed since i've been away.
    Yep.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • He's just showing you more of who he is. Every time he does something really hurtful, disrespectful, stupid, etc. just store it in the "this is why I'm glad I got out when I did" file. Sorry he keeps hurting you. As everyone else has said - you deserve better!
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • muiren77muiren77 Posts: 3,511
    to ciw, i really hope to see more posts from you which are no longer related to your ex...i think the more you post about him, the more you will not be able to start moving on...ignore him already!...i remember reading a post by you that your ex reads the pit, so if he reads anything related to him you're giving him the advantage of knowing what's "eating" you...just my two cents...
    what is essential is invisible to the eye

    apparently, 07162056 is THE date...
  • ..
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    Meh, don't fret. 50% of relationships is ruled by lust or financial reasons anyways. Your family loves you. Your friends love you. Your significant other really loving you is not guaranteed.

    I don't think my parents love each other. I don't think my friends parents love each other.


    But don't take advise from me. I'm 30 and single. I'm just saying.
  • muiren77muiren77 Posts: 3,511
    Him reading the pit...that was a dream I had:)
    I agree with you though, but was just floored by this:rolleyes:

    well, that's good that it was just your dream...:)
    pretty understandable about you being floored, i think it's time for you to consider the douchebag as non-existent...i agree with the other poster, be the ice queen while he's within your proximity...really hope everything will fall into place for you...best of luck :)










    don't let the douche get into your skin...he isn't worth it...
    what is essential is invisible to the eye

    apparently, 07162056 is THE date...
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    Well once I read the beer couch thread...I thought I might be a night I regret! :eek:

    ok i dont know how to say this nicely or so that u wont take it the wrong way or whatever but.......DAMN. I hope u went out with the guys last night becuz u NEED to have some fun and distract yourself from all this drama with your exxx and start posting more positive stuff!!!! It sucks that you have gone thru all this but PLEASE go have some fun dammit!!!! Or leave one thread open entitled "a day in the life of CHANGEinWAVES" or something..... :D
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • SENROCK! wrote:
    ok i dont know how to say this nicely or so that u wont take it the wrong way or whatever but.......DAMN. I hope u went out with the guys last night becuz u NEED to have some fun and distract yourself from all this drama with your exxx and start posting more positive stuff!!!! It sucks that you have gone thru all this but PLEASE go have some fun dammit!!!! Or leave one thread open entitled "a day in the life of CHANGEinWAVES" or something..... :D
    Word :cool:
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    Word :cool:

    and u know me Black D, i meant that in THEE most positive way!!! i cant be depressing or join in on it so instead im in favor of CIW going out gettin a little......saucy if u will. :D
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • SENROCK! wrote:
    and u know me Black D, i meant that in THEE most positive way!!! i cant be depressing or join in on it so instead im in favor of CIW going out gettin a little......saucy if u will. :D
    Exactly!!!

    Read my posts at the beginning of this, Get out of the house!!!!
    GoiMTvP.gif
  • ...
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • writersuwritersu Posts: 1,867
    I've recently been told that the only reason he married me was cause he thought it would of made his Dad happy:rolleyes: His Dad passed away 3 months into our relationship, but I knew him for longer...and his Dad and I really got along well.
    Kinda sucks to realize you were married cause you were 'likable' not cause you were loved:(. Seems @ 28 I've never been loved in return...go figure.


    no, it isn't that rare. At this point of the divorce thing, he is so cut throat that it is obviously that he never ever loved me and that all those mushy thoughts and memories were just mine. (but at least I got more than that in that department; he is feelingless.......remember "cat's in the cradle"?).

    see, I was told that the reason I stopped loving him was because, here quote, "YOU wanted another baby!". Well, all the men out there wondering where their wives might be with some guy or whatever, would pity him so badly....right?? weirdo........

    I hope you get better days......you are so young yet and look what you have already learned..........
    Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......


    Together we will float like angels.........

    In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
  • ...
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • writersuwritersu Posts: 1,867
    unfortunately I can be since I HAVE depression.
    And trust me I'd love to get out....but when you have NO money and NO friends willing to go out, it's a bit hard. It's also not fun to sit home and listen to the phone ring endlessly with debt collectors or have your power turned off cause the bill hasn't been payed....or not be able to get your car inspected cause there's not $35 in the checking account to get the registration sticker and the car insurance hasn't been payed. I guess it sucks for everyone to READ the depressing shit....but TRUST me living it SUCKS MUCH worse!!!!! :D


    so there is only one way to go then right?? UP!

    Been there, lights off, gas off, ex lives in mommy's millionaire adult children of alcoholics condo...........
    I appreciate everything now. And my heart goes out to you, I swear......
    Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute on The Creek......


    Together we will float like angels.........

    In the moment that you left the room, the album started skipping, goodbye to beauty shared with the ones that you love.........
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