I am that neighbor...

CHANGEinWAVES

That most of the neighborhood wonders what the fuck is going on here!...cause I am completely inept in any outdoor up keep of my home, and when I try (such as today) everything goes wrong! I wrestle with the hose to get it working...just to have it completely soak me! Then I try planting plants to replace the ones I never watered but the newer ones are slowly dying as well and dirt is everywhere so I look like a loon! I have my ipod blaring as I dance to the music trying to do these things...so here I sit covered in dirt on my front lawn making a thread on my phone as my neighbors walk past thinking I need to be placed in a mental institution! Now I have to go clean up the mess I created trying to clean up my yard, or maybe I'll just lay here a little longer singing out loud and wait for the van from the mental home to come get me!

HushBull

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

That most of the neighborhood wonders what the fuck is going on here!...cause I am completely inept in any outdoor up keep of my home, and when I try (such as today) everything goes wrong! I wrestle with the hose to get it working...just to have it completely soak me! Then I try planting plants to replace the ones I never watered but the newer ones are slowly dying as well and dirt is everywhere so I look like a loon! I have my ipod blaring as I dance to the music trying to do these things...so here I sit covered in dirt on my front lawn making a thread on my phone as my neighbors walk past thinking I need to be placed in a mental institution! Now I have to go clean up the mess I created trying to clean up my yard, or maybe I'll just lay here a little longer singing out loud and wait for the van from the mental home to come get me!

Wish you were in my neighborhood. Mine is so dull... I'd bring ya a funky jello mold.... or a beer. Or them combined!

release30

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

That most of the neighborhood wonders what the fuck is going on here!...cause I am completely inept in any outdoor up keep of my home, and when I try (such as today) everything goes wrong! I wrestle with the hose to get it working...just to have it completely soak me! Then I try planting plants to replace the ones I never watered but the newer ones are slowly dying as well and dirt is everywhere so I look like a loon! I have my ipod blaring as I dance to the music trying to do these things...so here I sit covered in dirt on my front lawn making a thread on my phone as my neighbors walk past thinking I need to be placed in a mental institution! Now I have to go clean up the mess I created trying to clean up my yard, or maybe I'll just lay here a little longer singing out loud and wait for the van from the mental home to come get me!

Great post....!!!....keep up the good work your neighbors really wish they were you...

CHANGEinWAVES

release30 wrote:

Great post....!!!....keep up the good work your neighbors really wish they were you...

No one in their right mind wishes they were me cause...well...I'm not in my right mind;)

release30

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

No one in their right mind wishes they were me cause...well...I'm not in my right mind;)

None of us are....;)

pjtradeking

I know the feeling. The worst thing about this house when we bought it was the yard. TOO BIG...The lot is about an acre and the yard is about 1/2 the lot! My neighbors hate me cause I dont do shit. I try to water it, but the sprinkler system is all fucked up half the time. I had to put in a new drain field and never got around to replanting the grass, so I have about a 30X90 weed patch in my back yard while all of theirs are nice and pristine. I cant even keep up with the mowing, so I have someone who comes and does it every other week so I dont have to, and when I DO mow, I ride around on the riding mower with the ipod going just a singing away. I know EXACTLY how you feel!! hahaha

peacegirl

I worry about my neighbor because he spends too much time in his yard. All spring he was out there planting grass, watering the lawn, moving plants - he's obsessed!

TrixieCat

peacegirl wrote:

I worry about my neighbor because he spends too much time in his yard. All spring he was out there planting grass, watering the lawn, moving plants - he's obsessed!

Or maybe he just enjoys it.
I have a neighbor like that and he is awesome and has a pretty yard to look at.

peacegirl

TrixieCat wrote:

Or maybe he just enjoys it.
I have a neighbor like that and he is awesome and has a pretty yard to look at.

Yeah....he's not a bad neighbor & he's pretty cool

CHANGEinWAVES

so one neighbor was brave enough to walk over to me and ask me what i was doing:) haha:) i'm sure they'll all be glad to see me move, it keeps the home owners association from throwing me out;)

holtz

peacegirl wrote:

I worry about my neighbor because he spends too much time in his yard. All spring he was out there planting grass, watering the lawn, moving plants - he's obsessed!

My neighbor behind me is always working in his yard, he's cool but I have to wonder when he walks around with a hose watering the whole yard by hand. I enjoy doing some work in my yard but I'm not going to spend 10-15 hours a week on it.

xscorcho

this thread just reminds me that i need to mow the lawn boooo.

LONGRD

Hey, look at it this way. You won't get kids ringing your doorbell on Halloween. Keep it up with being a weirdo!

writersu

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

That most of the neighborhood wonders what the fuck is going on here!...cause I am completely inept in any outdoor up keep of my home, and when I try (such as today) everything goes wrong! I wrestle with the hose to get it working...just to have it completely soak me! Then I try planting plants to replace the ones I never watered but the newer ones are slowly dying as well and dirt is everywhere so I look like a loon! I have my ipod blaring as I dance to the music trying to do these things...so here I sit covered in dirt on my front lawn making a thread on my phone as my neighbors walk past thinking I need to be placed in a mental institution! Now I have to go clean up the mess I created trying to clean up my yard, or maybe I'll just lay here a little longer singing out loud and wait for the van from the mental home to come get me!

You are so funny......

I will assume you are young and tell you that not until last year did I take a liking to gardening.
I was seperated and feeling antsy so I started getting flowers, buying cheap containers, spray painting them (someone here accused me of huffing when they didn't get why i was talking about spray paint....shit I am too old to do illegal drugs; dimentia is already a threat in these years.......certainly spray paint and other weird chemicals would not appeal to me.....but anyhoo...) and then glueing my daughter's beads on them and I started this little hobby that has of course now become another chore as most of mine do, but it took years to get into this.
when I moved in here where I live 10 years ago, I tore out all kinds of plants that I probably would have not had I seen them now.........

but you sound like that character Katy Holmes played in Mad Money. Did you see it?

writersu

xscorcho wrote:

this thread just reminds me that i need to mow the lawn boooo.

I have a ton of grass and the best $25 a week I spend is on my wonderful grass guys........i swear.

Urban Hiker

writersu wrote:

I have a ton of grass and the best $25 a week I spend is on my wonderful grass guys........i swear.

When we had a house and were spending most of our time commuting, leaving very little time for yard upkeep, we soon realized anyone with a decent yard was hiring help.

Maybe that's why the neighbor across the street used to stare at me every time I mowed my lawn. It must have been a novelty to see an actual homeowner do their own yard work. And all this time, I just thought he was a creep. :rolleyes:

writersu

Urban Hiker wrote:

When we had a house and were spending most of our time commuting, leaving very little time for yard upkeep, we soon realized anyone with a decent yard was hiring help.

Maybe that's why the neighbor across the street used to stare at me every time I mowed my lawn. It must have been a novelty to see an actual homeowner do their own yard work. And all this time, I just thought he was a creep. :rolleyes:

grass cutting is so time consuming and of you have a big yard like me, it usually is bumpy and so the whole thing is like fighting gravity just to mow it. the guys that do mine have a stand on high powered 27 horse power (idk if there is such a thing.....)mower that gets it done in like 10 minutes. I love my grass cutter men........

(in a totally brotherly sort of way.............)

Wobbie

writersu wrote:

the best $25 a week I spend is on my wonderful grass guys........i swear.

I'm old enough to remember when you could get a four finger lid from your "wonderful grass guy."

writersu

imalive wrote:

I'm old enough to remember when you could get a four finger lid from your "wonderful grass guy."

hey, you went to MY high school evidently. where all the kids couldn't spell worth a crap and "hi" was always "high"..........

wow...........the 70's..........

Foxy Mop

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

That most of the neighborhood wonders what the fuck is going on here!...cause I am completely inept in any outdoor up keep of my home, and when I try (such as today) everything goes wrong! I wrestle with the hose to get it working...just to have it completely soak me! Then I try planting plants to replace the ones I never watered but the newer ones are slowly dying as well and dirt is everywhere so I look like a loon! I have my ipod blaring as I dance to the music trying to do these things...so here I sit covered in dirt on my front lawn making a thread on my phone as my neighbors walk past thinking I need to be placed in a mental institution! Now I have to go clean up the mess I created trying to clean up my yard, or maybe I'll just lay here a little longer singing out loud and wait for the van from the mental home to come get me!

You should be nominated for this!
http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/shows_ddsl/


About Desperate Landscapes

Nothing is more embarrassing than having the ugliest yard on the block — especially when your neighbors call you out! Armed with creative solutions, in one day licensed contractor Jason Cameron transforms a negligent neighbor’s troubled yard into an outdoor show place.

Smellyman2

Meticulously grooming, mowing, fertilizing, weeding, herbiciding, insecticideing, planting, pulling, pruning etc.... I think is some of the most bizarre human characteristics there is.

My neighbor was completely anal. vacuuming his rock garden, using scissors to trim the lawn just perfect, putting all the rocks (little itty bitty rocks) in a bucket and washing them and then putting them back. Not to mention using hundreds of gallons of water A DAY to pressure wash his driveway and sidewalk.

I finally don't have a house or a yard now and couldn't be happier.

http://transitionculture.org/2006/04/03/if-lawns-were-a-psychosis-they-would-be-obsessive-compulsive-disorder/



London: What kind of overconsumption bothers you the most?

Mollison: I hate lawns. Subconsciously I think we all hate them because we’re their slaves. Imagine the millions of people who get on their lawn-mowers and ride around in circles every Saturday and Sunday.

They have all these new subdivisions in Australia which are between one and five acres. You see people coming home from work on Friday, getting on their little ride-on mowers, and mowing all weekend. On Monday morning you can drive through these areas and see all these mowers halfway across the five acres, waiting for the next Friday. Like idiots, we spend all our spare time driving these crazy machines, cutting grass which is only going to grow back again next week

CHANGEinWAVES

Foxy Mop wrote:

You should be nominated for this!
http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/shows_ddsl/


About Desperate Landscapes

Nothing is more embarrassing than having the ugliest yard on the block — especially when your neighbors call you out! Armed with creative solutions, in one day licensed contractor Jason Cameron transforms a negligent neighbor’s troubled yard into an outdoor show place.

i wouldn't say my yard is the ugliest....but i would say i most likely am the craziest in the neighborhood:) (or all the other crazies stay inside!!)

Wobbie

writersu wrote:

hey, you went to MY high school evidently. where all the kids couldn't spell worth a crap and "hi" was always "high"..........

wow...........the 70's..........

Yep - it was just like that movie, "Dazed and Confused."

CityMouse

I don't really have a yard, just a huge hedge and a little patch of grass- anyway it was OUT OF CONTROL all summer. People couldn't get down the sidewalk because this hedge was just growing everywhere...I could barely see out my windows! the grass had become a jungle- I need a machetee (sp?) to get my barrels on trash day...there are snails all over the place...however, this was not my problem, because I rent...but I was getting pissed because my landlord was not doing ANYTHING and it was getting embarrassing to be in the worst house in the neighborhood. But I came home from the EV show friday and the hedge had been trimmed and the grass cut! it was like christmas moring! Unfortunately, I think he does the yard work once a year...

writersu

imalive wrote:

Yep - it was just like that movie, "Dazed and Confused."

yeah, when the only question one would ask when given a colorful pill, "will it get me off?".

so glad to have worked that out then and been over it by now. it would so suck for me to be wasted these days. hell, I am confused enough.....

right?

Steve Dunne

Walkin around quoting Caddyshack lines won't endear you to the neighbors either!!

"Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my..."

writersu

Steve Dunne wrote:

Walkin around quoting Caddyshack lines won't endear you to the neighbors either!!

"Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman. Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around my..."

here is a thought,......forgive me guys for this take on this, but girls, if you see a single guy in your neighborhood that you find hot, you should say, as you are trying to work your hose, lawnmower, etc.

"I just don't GET this.....can your please help me?" ...........(you big caveman, grass cutter hunk of male...........(ok making myself sick here....you get it).............

I told my friends I was thinking about becoming a "Home Depot hooker", (which work if I was out there--but am not--nor think I could pull this off--just a joke---truly---), and say, "hey are you a painter?"....to be pulled off as a "plumber, concrete guy", or anything else I may need worked on in my home.

but then I joked and said that when you are young, you say things like, "I would never!" and then you are my age one day and say things like "I COULD never!!"......in other words no one would PAY for this shit.......

just a joke, just a thought. I'm your friend, please don't yell at me........

Steve Dunne

writersu wrote:

here is a thought,......forgive me guys for this take on this, but girls, if you see a single guy in your neighborhood that you find hot, you should say, as you are trying to work your hose, lawnmower, etc.

"I just don't GET this.....can your please help me?" ...........(you big caveman, grass cutter hunk of male...........(ok making myself sick here....you get it).............

I told my friends I was thinking about becoming a "Home Depot hooker", (which work if I was out there--but am not--nor think I could pull this off--just a joke---truly---), and say, "hey are you a painter?"....to be pulled off as a "plumber, concrete guy", or anything else I may need worked on in my home.

but then I joked and said that when you are young, you say things like, "I would never!" and then you are my age one day and say things like "I COULD never!!"......in other words no one would PAY for this shit.......

just a joke, just a thought. I'm your friend, please don't yell at me........

Oh man I can see you now...

"Excuse me sir, do you think you could come to my house and fix my spritzer valve???"



I can think of a few people here...

writersu

Steve Dunne wrote:

Oh man I can see you now...

"Excuse me sir, do you think you could come to my house and fix my spritzer valve???"



I can think of a few people here...

yeah, see, what did someone call it in a another thread, "the power of the p---y"?

work it young women.....(not girls; too much heartache)

that's what we were suppose to do...........


(ok, so I am now making myself sicker than a dog.........but it worked wonders for Charro, "how you say?" and men loved her.............so see my point?)