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raise your hand if your divorced....

CHANGEinWAVESCHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
edited May 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
just seeing who's been thru this hell hole!!

*(i know i spelled the 2nd you're wrong! sorry....can't fix it now!)
"I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • OffHeGoes29OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    I don't plan on getting married to find out.

    Stay strong, because thats all you can do....
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • NYbenbenNYbenben Posts: 1,020
    i have pondered the thought a several times but have yet to pull the trigger. it is a tough situation... compounded further if you have kids. if you dont, then it makes things a lot simpler.

    good luck with it.
    4/12/92, 8/11/92, 9/28/96, 9/11/98, 8/23/00, 8/24/00, 7/9/03, 4/30/03, 10/1/04, 10/3/05, 12/9/05, 5/12/06, 5/17/06, 5/28/06, 6/3/06, 12/9/06, EV LA 4/12-4/13/08, 6/12/08, 6,19,08, 6,20,08, 6/24/08, 6/25/08, 7/1/08

    and still jonesing for another show....
    "the waiting drove me mad..."
  • LONGRDLONGRD Posts: 6,036
    Don't know...I'm not married! ;)


    Best of luck with your situation. :)
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • PJ_SalukiPJ_Saluki Posts: 1,006
    I haven't been divorced. Most likely it's because I've never been married.
    "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool." -- Charles Barkley
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    OffHeGoes29 wrote:
    I don't plan on getting married to find out.

    Marriage is the #1 cause of divorce, after all.
  • CHANGEinWAVESCHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    scb wrote:
    Marriage is the #1 cause of divorce, after all.
    smart observation ;)
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    I'm going through it, yes..
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    It is hell. I've never been divorced, but I married someone who was and was friends with his wife if you can imagine. Not a fun one either. lol Plus, I've known lots who have gone through it. Just keep your head and try not to get to emotional, hard I know. Do you have a mutual friend? That is what I was and it truly seemed to help. Good luck and everything will work out eventually, even if you don't believe it now. :)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • HailHailVitalogyHailHailVitalogy Posts: 5,410
    I've been through my parent's getting divorced as a kid......twice

    It does suck, not just between the two people but between finances, and all that paper work bullshit....throw kids in it, and you got yourself a second job
    2003: Uniondale, MSG x2 | 2004: Reading | 2005: Gorge, Vancouver, Philly | 2006: East Rutherford x2, Gorge x2, Camden 1, Hartford | 2008: MSG x2, VA Beach | 2009: Philly x3 | 2010: MSG x2, Bristow | 2011: Alpine Valley x2 | 2012: MIA Philly | 2013: Wrigley, Charlottesville, Brooklyn 2 | 2014: Milan, Amsterdam 1 | 2016: MSG x2, Fenway x2, Wrigley 2 | 2018: Rome, Krakow, Berlin, Wrigley 2 | 2021: Sea Hear Now | 2022: San Diego, LA x2, MSG, Camden, Nashville, St. Louis, Denver | 2023: St. Paul 1, Chicago x2, Fort Worth x2, Austin 2 | 2024: Las Vegas 1, Seattle x2, Indy, MSG x2, Philly x2, Baltimore, Ohana 2
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    I'm 3 years post divorce. Lived 7 different places in the 1st year, ex and kids moved an hour away...
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    Currently in the middle of a not very friendly divorce.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    scb wrote:
    Marriage is the #1 cause of divorce, after all.
    as sure as life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality rate
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    NYbenben wrote:
    i have pondered the thought a several times but have yet to pull the trigger. it is a tough situation... compounded further if you have kids. if you dont, then it makes things a lot simpler.

    good luck with it.
    does it REALLY make it easier if theres no kids? I have a friend thats married and wants a divorce. No kids but for some reason the emotional attachment is freakin CRAZY. Im not married nor do i ever plan to be so im just wondering....in general if its THAT easy without kids.
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    SENROCK! wrote:
    does it REALLY make it easier if theres no kids? I have a friend thats married and wants a divorce. No kids but for some reason the emotional attachment is freakin CRAZY. Im not married nor do i ever plan to be so im just wondering....in general if its THAT easy without kids.
    Divorce is never easy, but kids add the complications of access and custody. If you want to make a clean break this can be difficult when you have to see your ex all the time. In my case all this has done is make a difficult thing even harder.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    SENROCK! wrote:
    does it REALLY make it easier if theres no kids? I have a friend thats married and wants a divorce. No kids but for some reason the emotional attachment is freakin CRAZY. Im not married nor do i ever plan to be so im just wondering....in general if its THAT easy without kids.

    I would say if I did not have kids it would have been light years easier...
  • DissidentmanDissidentman Posts: 15,378
    dissidentman wrote:
    I would say if I did not have kids it would have been light years easier...

    To clarify: easier does not = easy

    It's a fucking train wreck hell hole shit storm either way.
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    dissidentman wrote:
    To clarify: easier does not = easy

    It's a fucking train wreck hell hole shit storm either way.
    wow. nice description! :eek:
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    urbanhippie wrote:
    Divorce is never easy, but kids add the complications of access and custody. If you want to make a clean break this can be difficult when you have to see your ex all the time. In my case all this has done is make a difficult thing even harder.
    i see. my apologies to all of you that have to go thru this.
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    dissidentman wrote:
    To clarify: easier does not = easy

    It's a fucking train wreck hell hole shit storm either way.
    Couldn't have said better myself.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • Brain of J.LoBrain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    SENROCK! wrote:
    does it REALLY make it easier if theres no kids? I have a friend thats married and wants a divorce. No kids but for some reason the emotional attachment is freakin CRAZY. Im not married nor do i ever plan to be so im just wondering....in general if its THAT easy without kids.

    I once heard someone comment that calling divorce without kids "easier" is like telling a woman who just lost her legs "oh, well you didn't have any good shoes anyway..."
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    No long-term relationship breakdown is ever easy...Life is complicated and has a way of kicking you when you're down.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    I once heard someone comment that calling divorce without kids "easier" is like telling a woman who just lost her legs "oh, well you didn't have any good shoes anyway..."
    thats CRAZY.

    alright heres a random question for the divorced:
    Do you think it would be.....BETTER (not easier) if when people marry, theres an OPTION to either renew or call it quits after oh i'd say around 3 years? This way theres no ugly divorce.
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    SENROCK! wrote:
    thats CRAZY.

    alright heres a random question for the divorced:
    Do you think it would be.....BETTER (not easier) if when people marry, theres an OPTION to either renew or call it quits after oh i'd say around 3 years? This way theres no ugly divorce.
    Although I see what you're saying, and maybe it'd work better for some, in my case this wouldn't have made any difference. We were married for 15 years.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    urbanhippie wrote:
    Although I see what you're saying, and maybe it'd work better for some, in my case this wouldn't have made any difference. We were married for 15 years.
    well thats what i mean. if at the time you got married you hadd this option. Me and a friend have joked about this for a while now. So seeing this thread i figured it was a good place to get opinions. We say it should be a law that u have the option to "renew" your marriage or just end it. Marriage isnt what it was forever ago. So they say!
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • iluvcatsiluvcats Posts: 5,153
    I got married when I was 18 and left the turd when I was 24. I swear, he was not the same person. He was an alcoholic when I met him and he was 16, I was just naive. But he turned mean. He should have admitted he no longer loved me instead of wasting years of my life. He had girlfriends at work, at the bar where he hung out. He was a party animal, any where else was better than being at home. His drunk friends would feel my leg or chase me around the house! We had horrible fights when we were married and he ripped our closet door off in the apartment where we live. I left him once and went back 3 weeks later. He stopped drinking and would start up again. He spent money like it was water and ran up our credit card bills. He got married again and then divorced (I heard) due to his temper. I remarried in 1997. My new husband is a nice, sweet person with hobbies, not into abusing his body, and I love him. Divorcing my first husband was the best thing I ever did. I grew emotionally and furthered my career. I met my second husband at work!
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • PJ_LukinPJ_Lukin Posts: 2,055
    SENROCK! wrote:
    well thats what i mean. if at the time you got married you hadd this option. Me and a friend have joked about this for a while now. So seeing this thread i figured it was a good place to get opinions. We say it should be a law that u have the option to "renew" your marriage or just end it. Marriage isnt what it was forever ago. So they say!

    Kind of like pro sports guys get with "Option years". if things work out, you can extend it, if they don't you can part ways.

    I like it!
    ~!~ Peace ~!~ Love ~!~ Pearl Jam ~!~
  • urbanhippieurbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    SENROCK! wrote:
    well thats what i mean. if at the time you got married you hadd this option. Me and a friend have joked about this for a while now. So seeing this thread i figured it was a good place to get opinions. We say it should be a law that u have the option to "renew" your marriage or just end it. Marriage isnt what it was forever ago. So they say!
    I understand what you're saying, but don't you think it'd encourage people to think of relationships in a temporary fashion?
    What I'm saying is, when I got married I believed in my whole heart it'd be FOREVER. I had no intention of getting divorced or ending things. If I had I wouldn't have done it in the first place. And to intents and purposes it DID work...we were together nearly 18 years and had 4 children. I don't view that as a failiure. We grew apart, life got in the way and now the best thing for both of us is to be apart.
    I believe in marriage, and it's not just a 'piece of paper', it's a commitment and I'm worried that something like this might lead people to think otherwise.


    Saying that, it would save some people heartache I suppose, as well as the complications of lawyers and courts.
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    urbanhippie wrote:
    I understand what you're saying, but don't you think it'd encourage people to think of relationships in a temporary fashion?
    What I'm saying is, when I got married I believed in my whole heart it'd be FOREVER. I had no intention of getting divorced or ending things. If I had I wouldn't have done it in the first place. And to intents and purposes it DID work...we were together nearly 18 years and had 4 children. I don't view that as a failiure. We grew apart, life got in the way and now the best thing for both of us is to be apart.
    I believe in marriage, and it's not just a 'piece of paper', it's a commitment and I'm worried that something like this might lead people to think otherwise.


    Saying that, it would save some people heartache I suppose, as well as the complications of lawyers and courts.
    in a way yes it would make people see relationships in temporary fashion. But it just seems as though MOST people think that way alreddie ya know? THATS why my friend and i came up with the option thing. AND, i totally, TOTALLY get what you are saying about believing marriage is forever. THAT is the way it SHOULD be but its just not anymore. Thats one of the reasons i dont take marriage seriously, cuz no one else does either. I think the intentions are good but for some reason it just doesnt last. I would HOPE it does for those that really mean it. :)
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    PJ_Lukin wrote:
    Kind of like pro sports guys get with "Option years". if things work out, you can extend it, if they don't you can part ways.

    I like it!

    YES! see? :D
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • NYbenbenNYbenben Posts: 1,020
    SENROCK! wrote:
    does it REALLY make it easier if theres no kids? I have a friend thats married and wants a divorce. No kids but for some reason the emotional attachment is freakin CRAZY. Im not married nor do i ever plan to be so im just wondering....in general if its THAT easy without kids.

    kids just add another layer to the mess... i feel that if you really want out of a personal relationship, time heals all and you can eventually get over the pain of losing someone you once loved... but when kids are involved, you cant divorce yourself from them... they have nothing to do with how you feel about your significant other. you love your kids unconditionally. Also, the emotional rollercoaster that you put them through, hurts you cause they really dont understand why this is all happening. you need to walk on egg shells and explain that it really isnt thier fault at all.
    4/12/92, 8/11/92, 9/28/96, 9/11/98, 8/23/00, 8/24/00, 7/9/03, 4/30/03, 10/1/04, 10/3/05, 12/9/05, 5/12/06, 5/17/06, 5/28/06, 6/3/06, 12/9/06, EV LA 4/12-4/13/08, 6/12/08, 6,19,08, 6,20,08, 6/24/08, 6/25/08, 7/1/08

    and still jonesing for another show....
    "the waiting drove me mad..."
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