Friends with the Ex...

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  • comebackwomancomebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    SENROCK! wrote:
    what the DEVIL is goin on up in the D!!!!!
    Allie is sexxxin it up with a guy who just got divorced????
    Comebackgirl is HOOKIN STICKY UP WITH A DUDE???????? :eek:
    I tried...but he wouldn't take me up on the offer! :mad:
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • stickboystickboy Posts: 2,981
    Allie wrote:
    not every girl is like that
    but neither is every guy
    yea theres a few of us left out there... lol
    most are prolly on here :)
    Aah, fuck it, I’m just gonna go home, turn on the fuckin’ TV...
    Watch the nightly news and drink a beer...
    Like I could even change the world, yeah right...
    ************************************
  • AllieAllie Posts: 2,908
    stickboy wrote:
    yea theres a few of us left out there... lol
    most are prolly on here :)
    ha ha :) I know, right? :)
    "...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
    "Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
    6-01-06
    6/25/08
    Free Speedy
    and Metsy!
  • xscorchoxscorcho Posts: 409
    i know people who are friends with their ex-wives\husbands... it doesnt have to be all drama.
  • edvedder913edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    My sister and brother-in-law got divorced a couple of years ago. Although they have kids, the would get a long even if they didnt. It is a bizarre thing actually. They still have keys to one anothers house....Come to family functions...all that shit and they are happier as friends than they EVER were during their 10+ year marriage. So I would say it does happen, and it doesnt mean they will get back together. imho


    sounds like me and my ex husband...10 years of marriage...couldnt pay me enough to ever get back together with him, but we are good friends.
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    frenz with the exxx has always been the best for me. I never understand why you cant be JUST frenz and nothing more. And whats STOOPID is when theres a break up and USUALLY the chick says "ugh i dont even wanna HEAR his name. Just dont ever mention his name to me ever." WTF?! Whats his name gonna do? Jump out and bite you?! STOOOOOPID!!!! I vote yes for frenz with the exxx. If indeed u can be that and the person didnt make u feel like crap anytime prior.
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

    "Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95

    It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
  • I'm better friends with my first ex-wife than I was when we were married. We do have kids, so I don't know if we would hang out if we didn't have them. I get along well with her husband and even watched their daughter for them when they went out of town in exchange for a year's worth of free haircuts (yes, my ex-wife still cuts my hair).
  • saveuplifesaveuplife Posts: 1,173
    Here's my take:

    1) If you have had kids with your ex-wife (ex-husband, ex-gf, ex-bf) it is good to be freinds with them because children are involved and obviously, you need to work together for their benefit.

    2) If children aren't involved, there's no need to be "friends" with this person. If you both have decided to sever your relationship... than do so in totality. Sure you can be aquintances and "friendly" if you ever see them out. But, being "friends" is different. If you ever plan on moving forward with your life, you are putting your future partner in a serious awkward situation if you are "friends" with your ex.

    That's my take and I'm sticking to it. :P
  • fanch75fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    Allie wrote:
    I don't want to go into too many specifics but this is for the guys out there, or anyone who else who wants to impart widsom:

    a guy just got divorced, like literally, after 10 months of marriage, (she didn't want kids-he did). So they have no kids.

    the ex moved out of their apt

    but he's letting her park her car in the driveway while she goes out of town. (literally-her actual vehicle, not in a 'figurative' sense)

    Guys-what's up with that?

    are they getting back together?

    Thanks..

    Stay away from recently divorced men.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • AllieAllie Posts: 2,908
    fanch75 wrote:
    Stay away from recently divorced men.

    its just someone I know, so I was curious. I don't know how these things work, my parents divorced when I was 2 and 'acrimonious' is an understatement.

    I'm not 'involved' or anything of that nature.

    but how come, fanch?
    "...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
    "Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
    6-01-06
    6/25/08
    Free Speedy
    and Metsy!
  • fanch75fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    Speaking from experience, we just don't think straight for a while (for me it took about a year of mourning/feeling like crap and then another year to balance out adn feel normal again). We're confused, the self esteem has taken a beating, and we don't always make the best decisions or treat people as we should. Our focus is pretty inward and "Well, I just went through a divorce, what do you expect" is the justification for everything, and it is genuine.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • AllieAllie Posts: 2,908
    fanch75 wrote:
    Speaking from experience, we just don't think straight for a while (for me it took about a year of mourning/feeling like crap and then another year to balance out adn feel normal again). We're confused, the self esteem has taken a beating, and we don't always make the best decisions or treat people as we should. Our focus is pretty inward and "Well, I just went through a divorce, what do you expect" is the justification for everything, and it is genuine.
    wow,
    I'm sorry you went through that
    and that's really insightful. Thanks, Fanch.
    "...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
    "Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
    6-01-06
    6/25/08
    Free Speedy
    and Metsy!
  • Who PrincessWho Princess out here in the fields Posts: 7,305
    I've known a lot of divorced people who were on amicable terms with their exes and that always seemed a real positive to me, since I've also met people who developed the most unbelievable hostility. I found some of the hostility and anger kind of scary--this is aimed at someone you once loved?

    But the people who were on good terms didn't necessarily try to hang out together, they just had some kind of connection still from the marriage. I'm not talking about the people who have kids together. I think it's an absolute must that people with kids who divorce have to remain on good terms because they're still parents to those kids.

    I've known a lot of people, believe it or not, who really cared about their former in-laws and wanted to stay in touch with them after a divorce. I knew a guy who helped his ex shop for a new car because she was uncomfortable doing it by herself and he'd just bought one. I know another guy who has 4 dogs and likes to travel. I asked him what he does with all his dogs whenever he goes out of town and he said that they go stay with their mom (his ex). I really don't think it's all that unusual for people to get past the break-up and be amicable. Maybe not best friends but they get along OK.
    "The stars are all connected to the brain."
  • fanch75fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    Oh don't feel sorry; it was for the best in every way I can see it being. It's cool; I'm just saying, don't expect this guy to be thinking straight or in the interest of his supposed object of affection. It not intentional, it's just all over the place for a while.

    Everyone is different but generally I think things rings true.
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • The ChampThe Champ Posts: 4,063
    fanch75 wrote:
    Speaking from experience, we just don't think straight for a while (for me it took about a year of mourning/feeling like crap and then another year to balance out adn feel normal again). We're confused, the self esteem has taken a beating, and we don't always make the best decisions or treat people as we should. Our focus is pretty inward and "Well, I just went through a divorce, what do you expect" is the justification for everything, and it is genuine.

    http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/15/68-divorce/

    Stuff White People Like
    #66 Divorce
    February 15, 2008 by mylosh

    Most studies on the topic of divorce, focus in on the obvious. For instance the median age of divorce for white men is 30.5 and 29 for women. This is usually around the time when white people further over analyze their lives and look for change, even if some of the stuff that they accomplished, like having good credit, a high paying job, or the ability to purchase a hybrid car are things that people from other ethnicities would love to have.

    Another key factor of divorce is children. On average people who divorce, do so when their children are between the ages of 7-10. Before the birth of their first child, white people like to spend thousands of dollars on books that tell them how to raise children So instead of simply letting their child watch Hannah Montana or work on their jump-shot, they will take them on weird activities suggested by some over educated individual with a PhD or force them to read a book that is meant for a 9th grader. This often leads to white children hating their parents especially when they don’t live up to their expectations.

    While all of these are 87% true very little is spoken of the positive reasons on why white people divorce. Look at the sets of jobs below

    Job Set A
    marriage counselor
    family therapist
    lawyer

    Job Set B
    wedding planner
    caterer
    80s DJ
    photographer
    videographer

    There is basically a large sector of white workers with arts majors, that would otherwise be unemployed were it not for the high rate of divorce. So just like the love of lawyers, getting divorced is a way to give back to the community. Not getting divorced would have same effect as pulling Shell out of Nigeria or call centers out of India. People would be on the street and a civil war would break out.

    The list in Job Set A deals with the actual act of divorce. Married couples like to go to lawyers, counselors and therapist before, during, and after a marriage. There really is no need to pay $300 an hour to talk to someone who has read a lot of eastern European authors, but Hollywood has done a great job of popularizing this profession, and as mentioned above, there is a charitable aspect to this as well.

    The list in Job Set B deals with weddings. First of all white people love throwing weddings, and if the first wedding did not go according to plan or if a close friend’s wedding had clever invitations, better desert or a samba band, then the act of the divorce serves as gateway to give it another shot. Secondly many white people in their late teens / early 20s make the mistake of taking film or photography in college. Since Hollywood can not employ everyone, the wedding industry is the one field that allows all these poor arts majors to pay for their rent and their first divorce later.

    Happy it worked out for the best Fanch ;)..
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
  • fanch75fanch75 Posts: 3,734
    hahahaha, that's fing great!!!!
    Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
  • OffHeGoes29OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    We should really call this "On good terms with your ex" thread. Because nobody is really a "friend" with their ex.
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • The ChampThe Champ Posts: 4,063
    We should really call this "On good terms with your ex" thread. Because nobody is really a "friend" with their ex.

    Good point..
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
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