Men

Heineken Helen

Trailer wrote:

First off, the guy sounds like he's an idiot... BUT... what was the problem with getting in his car and letting him drive? I'm aware that he didn't know where he was going, but sometimes spontaneity makes the date a lot more exciting! However, you make it seem like you already knew he was an idiot to begin with.. so why agree to go on a date with him in the first place?

and are you seriously mad over getting a text because it's going to cost you money? 10 cents?? man you would hate me cuz most of the time I would rather text than talk on the phone:D

that's what I'm having difficulty with too... I'd actually LIKE a date like that I love being driven around. And yeh, the text thing... and the fact he was supposed to call at 3... but left it 45 minutes late :eek: if he texted at exactly 3 would you be thinking he's a stalker? I'm really not seeing the problem here.

Heineken Helen

Allie wrote:

#1, with all due respect, you're not from NY. You don't get in a car with a guy you barely know.

#2. I give people the '1 chance.' rule. We had a nice conversation last night, seemed to have several things in common. I discovered the extent of the idiocy when he called w/o a plan. Henceforth, I did not go on the date.

#3. If I knew you, I wouldn't mind if you texted me. You should have permission from the person, don't assume it's ok. And they raised the rate to .15 cents

1. but if it's a date you would have been going somewhere alone with him anyway... he would have plenty of opportunities to be a prick if that were the intention

2. ?????????

3. WHAT? You need permission to text someone? If he didn't have your number and found it through some other means, I may know where you're coming from but I'm presuming you gave him your number?

I'm sorry... but all this sounds a bit nuts and actually makes me feel a bit sorry for men

Rygar

Heineken Helen wrote:

I'm sorry... but all this sounds a bit nuts and actually makes me feel a bit sorry for men

I'm quoting this part so it's forever etched into Pit history that HH feels (a bit) sorry for us!

edvedder913

Heineken Helen wrote:

1. but if it's a date you would have been going somewhere alone with him anyway... he would have plenty of opportunities to be a prick if that were the intention

going out alone in PUBLIC and getting into a strangers car is a BIG difference. She mentioned that they met at a bar/club and spoke only 15 minutes. I wouldn't take that chance.

Heineken Helen

Rygar wrote:

I'm quoting this part so it's forever etched into Pit history that HH feels (a bit) sorry for us!

Just a bit.

edvedder913, ok after reading the rest of the thread I can see her point with that... if it were me in the situation though I wouldn't be reading so much into it, if he suggested something I were uncomfortable with I'd reply 'hmmm... no... how about xxxxxxxxxx instead?' rather than think 'this guy's an idiot'. He has an 8 year old kid, he's definitely interested in you, isn't it possible he's been out of the 'game' for a while?... calling 45 minutes late is actually EARLY! NOT that I agree with the 'game playing thing' but if he called at 3 on the dot that scares some people off. Most people try to play it cool in the beginning.

GreenTeaDisease

Heineken Helen wrote:

that's what I'm having difficulty with too... I'd actually LIKE a date like that I love being driven around. /quote]

it's really dangerous to get in a car with someone you just met! I mean if you meet through mutual friends or something, ok, but if you meet at a bar, uh-uh, big no-no.

Heineken Helen

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

it's really dangerous to get in a car with someone you just met! I mean if you meet through mutual friends or something, ok, but if you meet at a bar, uh-uh, big no-no.

Yeh, I just replied about that one... I was going on the presumption she knows this guy... not that it makes a difference to the REST of the story that she doesn't

BUT by her reaction, I'm getting the impression she's nowhere NEAR ready for dating yet... that's cool too... but recognise things for what they are. What happened doesn't make the guy anywhere NEAR an idiot. It just means she's not ready for dating.

Steve Dunne

"Wanna see the inside of a news van?"



- Larry from 'Groundhog Day'

edvedder913

Steve Dunne wrote:

"Wanna see the inside of a news van?"



- Larry from 'Groundhog Day'

ha ha - that is like when I went to see The Wallflowers in Atlantic City and their bus driver asked me "Would you like to see the inside of a tour bus?"

"no thanks, goodnight..."

edvedder913

Heineken Helen wrote:

Just a bit.

edvedder913, ok after reading the rest of the thread I can see her point with that... if it were me in the situation though I wouldn't be reading so much into it, if he suggested something I were uncomfortable with I'd reply 'hmmm... no... how about xxxxxxxxxx instead?' rather than think 'this guy's an idiot'. He has an 8 year old kid, he's definitely interested in you, isn't it possible he's been out of the 'game' for a while?... calling 45 minutes late is actually EARLY! NOT that I agree with the 'game playing thing' but if he called at 3 on the dot that scares some people off. Most people try to play it cool in the beginning.

true....but several bad dates leading up to this could effect patience level
If you are on a good dating streak or coming out of a good relationship you probably look at things more favorably and are more willing to give people a shot. It al depends on prior experience...

Heineken Helen

edvedder913 wrote:

true....but several bad dates leading up to this could effect patience level
If you are on a good dating streak or coming out of a good relationship you probably look at things more favorably and are more willing to give people a shot. It al depends on prior experience...

but that's why I'm saying she's not ready to date yet... I've been there, I could write the book on bad dating experiences... but I've never had a bad date before even meeting him . And eventually it got so funny, I was going along just to see 'how this one's gonna fuck up' you have to have the right frame of mind about it... you can say 'I'm done' or you can say '1 down, 3 billion to go, let's have some fun with this'

the wolf

Heineken Helen wrote:

I'm sorry... but all this sounds a bit nuts and actually makes me feel a bit sorry for men

well, we are easy to feel sorry for. most of us are pretty sorry indiviuals. : )

Heineken Helen

the wolf wrote:

well, we are easy to feel sorry for. most of us are pretty sorry indiviuals. : )

Exactly! Now if only most women could realise how we can use that to our ADVANTAGE and somehow make YOU think you're getting the good deal...

the wolf

Heineken Helen wrote:

Exactly! Now if only most women could realise how we can use that to our ADVANTAGE and somehow make YOU think you're getting the good deal...

so thats what my GF did? : (

Allie

Heineken Helen wrote:

....

Heineken Helen

Allie wrote:

'not ready to date?'
You don't know how many dates I've been on or my life experience

This is not my first date in life.

and again, pot calling kettle black

and
again
you didn't read the whole story or the context of it

maybe to you you don't care what time it is when someone calls you

to me

I don't appreciate if someone doesn't do what they say they are going to do, even in a seemingly small thing like a phone call.

and then I made the post about the text when I was pissed off.
Texting is not universal communication here like it is in Europe, I had told him not to call back and then he texted after that, hence forth, I was annoyed about it

and, if you had read the thread: he told me to meet him at a bar and told me the wrong address for it, so if I hadn't Googled it before I went there, I would have been standing in the wrong location looking like a moron.

THAT"S why I didn't go. Reading is fundamental.

pot kettle? I'm not seeing it.

I did read the whole story... perhaps you just didn't explain it very well. Like I said, if you're used to dating, a guy calling 45 minutes after he's due to call is actually quite good... and like I said, that's not an etiquette that I agree with but I can see why most people do play along those lines.

Yes, telling you the wrong address was obviously a big mistake and coulda turned out horrible... but mistakes happen, we're not all perfect. If this place was recommended to him and he didn't know it was destroyed and he obviously doesn't know places either... it's pretty obvious the poor guy hasn't dated in a while... and then he goes and 'fucks up' so much that now you've probably turned him off dating for a long time too.

I've texted friends of mine in the states, I'd best apologise now :rolleyes:

TrixieCat

Heineken Helen wrote:

pot kettle? I'm not seeing it.

I did read the whole story... perhaps you just didn't explain it very well. Like I said, if you're used to dating, a guy calling 45 minutes after he's due to call is actually quite good... and like I said, that's not an etiquette that I agree with but I can see why most people do play along those lines.

Yes, telling you the wrong address was obviously a big mistake and coulda turned out horrible... but mistakes happen, we're not all perfect. If this place was recommended to him and he didn't know it was destroyed and he obviously doesn't know places either... it's pretty obvious the poor guy hasn't dated in a while... and then he goes and 'fucks up' so much that now you've probably turned him off dating for a long time too.

I've texted friends of mine in the states, I'd best apologise now :rolleyes:

I got the whole pot kettle black thing too. lol
We have something in common HH!
I am thinking he just wasn't interested. Not interested in getting some action. Just not interested.
Chalk it up to a loser and move on.

Heineken Helen

TrixieCat wrote:

I got the whole pot kettle black thing too. lol
We have something in common HH!
I am thinking he just wasn't interested. Not interested in getting some action. Just not interested.
Chalk it up to a loser and move on.

yep we do!

But yeh, I'm not seeing that he wasn't interested. He called ALMOST when he was supposed to... at least he was capable of arranging a day and time to meet... he may have fucked up the location and the things to do but from what we've seen in other threads... he's halfway there

JOEJOEJOE

Heineken Helen wrote:

yep we do!

But yeh, I'm not seeing that he wasn't interested. He called ALMOST when he was supposed to... at least he was capable of arranging a day and time to meet... he may have fucked up the location and the things to do but from what we've seen in other threads... he's halfway there

You are giving the chap credit for being able to arrange a day and time?

You need to rasie your standards, lass!

Heineken Helen

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

You are giving the chap credit for being able to arrange a day and time?

You need to rasie your standards, lass!

I'm joking... we've had other threads about who makes the decisions in arranging the date.

My standards are just fine! I've gone out with laid back guys before who would have preferred me making all the decisions in case they messed up... and they were nice guys. My boyfriend now makes a good few decisions but quite often we like to just go with the flow

JOEJOEJOE

Heineken Helen wrote:

I'm joking... we've had other threads about who makes the decisions in arranging the date.

My standards are just fine! I've gone out with laid back guys before who would have preferred me making all the decisions in case they messed up... and they were nice guys. My boyfriend now makes a good few decisions but quite often we like to just go with the flow

Good point about your standards....perhaps the blokes you date need to examine THEIR standards!

comebackwoman

I think it's all about personal preference. Everyone has a certain dating/relationship style and it's just important to find someone who's style meshes with yours. I don't think there's a right or wrong or that having a preference means someone isn't ready to date. We all teach people how we like to be treated...it's important to communicate that in any relationship. Time is a very cultural thing...what's considered "normal" in terms of lateness, etc. varies very much from region to region also. I would not be happy with someone being 45 minutes late...it's not right or wrong...just a personal preference.

genie

Allie wrote:

ugh
never again. that's it. no more dates. y'all are stupid. that is all.

don't call up a woman w/o a plan for a place to meet up, call her back, say 'let's met at xyz place' on 83rd Street

and when I Google it (thank God) before I go,

it's actually on 53rd. Right where the crane collapse is.

Never ever never ever again.

That is all.

i haven't really got a lot of time to read this huge thread all the way. just want to say that:

yes, the guy was ridiculous when he thought you'd just jump into his car

but no, he is not stupid for not having a plan of where to go to. either way it's good you and him are not together. because you are to particular and want things perfect and when you don't get them exaclty how you expect them to be you go all ranting, and he was a chillied out lazy guy.

HatredThrownDown

i guess my wife is STUPID for marrying me then. I guess my wife is STUPID enough to be extremely happy. seriously..i bet you say this everytime

in_hiding79

HatredThrownDown wrote:

i guess my wife is STUPID for marrying me then. I guess my wife is STUPID enough to be extremely happy. seriously..i bet you say this everytime

WTF???

the wolf

HA HA HA i knew you would do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i fucking NEW it. lol

oh shit, im fuckin laughing soooooo hard right now, my dogs are looking at me like i've lost my mind.

: )

Allie

the wolf wrote:

HA HA HA i knew you would do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hard right now, my dogs are looking at me like i've lost my mind.

: )

hee hee
Good, I made someone laugh
You can't delete what others quote but I got out the main gist of it. Please let my thread die!

I'm just saying I posted the text thing when I was annoyed when I told him to leave me alone and then he texted me.

Obviously I don't mind when friends write to me, I just thought it was presumptious after I said to leave me alone.

You can't read sarcasm online all the time

and of course when you are dating, I think you should both come up with plans, not just the guy or just the girl

but no, as comeback girl and cate said, I don't like "namby pampy" disorganized people

and come to think of it I probably did freak when he assumed he could pick me up in the car and that probably threw everything off. So there

again, thanks to everyone who was supportive and made me laugh I appreciate it.

the wolf

LOL okay Allie, your thread is dead to me. LOL

aww shit, i have tears rolling down my face. i needed that.

catefrances

comebackgirl wrote:

... I would not be happy with someone being 45 minutes late...it's not right or wrong...just a personal preference.

i know someone who says " i'm just gonna have a quick shower. give me 15 minutes". 45 minutes later im still waiting. and i have ZERO patience. if it were anyone but this someone they'd be spending the night watching porno. alone.

if you give me a time that you say you'll be ready or to meet, stick to it cause i will. i really only accept death as an excuse for lateness. and that is just my personal preference.

Heineken Helen

comebackgirl wrote:

I think it's all about personal preference. Everyone has a certain dating/relationship style and it's just important to find someone who's style meshes with yours. I don't think there's a right or wrong or that having a preference means someone isn't ready to date. We all teach people how we like to be treated...it's important to communicate that in any relationship. Time is a very cultural thing...what's considered "normal" in terms of lateness, etc. varies very much from region to region also. I would not be happy with someone being 45 minutes late...it's not right or wrong...just a personal preference.

I do actually agree completely. Which is why I was wondering why so many people were calling this guy a jerk and why the OP was so annoyed at him and making out like he seriously fucked up, etc. But yep, looks like it's all cleared up now.

Also, in this last page, why do I feel like there's a post that was removed or something?