I am so incredibly depressed.

2

Comments

  • ForestBrain
    ForestBrain Posts: 460
    ^Thanks.
    I worked out. I read something. I'm watching basketball. Feeling better.

    I'm writing a fantasy novel. :D
    When life gives you lemons, throw them at somebody.
  • PlantPage55
    PlantPage55 Posts: 136
    LongRd. wrote:
    but like you, I love writing, though not in the areas of creative writing like yours. The thing is, I have terrible social and networking ability. Shit, I have a hard time getting along with my friends and family.

    Wow. You're speaking right to me. I'm working on becoming a doctor. I'm in my 3rd year of Undergraduate studies. I kind of put myself into a hole with poor grades my Freshman year due to a depression stemming from being away from home for the first extended period of time in my life. I get along really well with my parents though, so that's what made it really rough.

    Now, I've alienated all of my friends except my roommate trying to get back to having a competitive resume for Medical School. The problem is, I've sort of learned to be bitter and can no longer remember how to get along with people. It's kind of ingrained in me that I like being alone and can't really shake my nerves or fake a smile in front of people I need to work with. Instead, I avoid people as much as I can.

    Some might say that friends and relationships are too important to not be solely focused on your future, but all I've ever wanted to do was become a doctor - so what am I to do?

    I've been doing a great job these last 2 years of being nearly perfect in school, but now I'm deathly afraid of getting into Medical School, having to work with others everyday, and not being able to. It's something I know I have to suck up and get over, but I'm terrified.

    Good luck with everything - I feel for you.
    Are we getting something out of this all-encompassing trip?
  • Slip Kid
    Slip Kid Posts: 1,175
    "the night was moist"
    I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    ForestBrain wrote:
    ^Thanks.
    I worked out. I read something. I'm watching basketball. Feeling better.

    I'm writing a fantasy novel. :D

    sink yourself into a puddle of ink.
    for you, it's the only way, true fact.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • The Champ
    The Champ Posts: 4,063
    Listen, you have to keep on fighting..Keep your chin up..
    'I want to hurry home to you
    put on a slow, dumb show for you
    and crack you up
    so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
    god I'm very, very frightening
    and I'll overdo it'
  • sponger
    sponger Posts: 3,159
    Maybe it's not that you're writing less song so much as it's that you're writing better songs. The average musician writes at most 1 or 2 of those in a lifetime.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    LongRd. wrote:
    NOT SURE HOW TO EXPLAIN MY DEPRESSION, but it's not really sadness, instead, it's more of a frustration, anger and bitterness than anything.

    well, to make you feel any better, I don't have a job right now and I'm in deep shit, financially. I don't have insurance at all and my state requires all residents to have one and I can be fine up $300 when I do my tax returns. I got a $120 monthly tuition payment, along with rents and other crap.

    I honestly feel that I wasted my time in college for nothing. Can't even find a job I really want. Took me two months to actually get out and apply for jobs, even if I know I don't give a shit about that particular job.

    If I wasn't in this situation, I probably wouldn't be online.

    ooohhh, lets start talking about who's life is more shitter! :D i'll start :D

    ok, so i don't have a job, jobs i'm applying for i have no passion for ( and it's my fault completely ), i have no boyfriend, and i have little amount of friends...and bla bla bla........and i don't feel depressed!!!! probably due to the fact that it doesn't bother me and i've got ambition......just haven't got enought energy.

    but i sure as hell wouldn't want to be in debt with anyone and have no job whilst living in US. here is a funny idea i've heard people do that, take out another loan in live on this money until you think you will get a job.....and then 3 weeks or something before starting your new job declare yourself bankrupt. :D

    or another idea is just run away from your debts....
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    ForestBrain wrote:
    So, I am so depressed I cannot even work on my book. I love reading. I adore writing. Yet for all of this, whenever I go to work on my book I have no incentive; no drive. I'm in a slump. I just want to sit in a corner and stare at a wall. Depression sucks.

    instead of getting rid of your depression, embrace it and write a book about it :)

    also don't be like those stupid people who take anti-depressant tablets
  • LikeAnOpeningBandForTheSun
    LikeAnOpeningBandForTheSun Posts: 6,097
    tom cruise can help you
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    MrSmith wrote:
    tom cruise can help you
    true dat.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    I understand what you mean ForestBrain. It seems most people missed your point but when you're feeling low, it's hard to find the motivation to do anything. Even things you'd normally love. :eek:
  • ForestBrain
    ForestBrain Posts: 460
    Yep, yep, MC!
    I'm bipolar and this happens a lot. Right now, I'm feeling better. haha, we'll see how long it lasts. Thanks everybody for your kind words. I will try not to start another depression thread, but I cannot make any promises for my other side. :D
    When life gives you lemons, throw them at somebody.
  • sj.brodie
    sj.brodie Posts: 468
    ForestBrain wrote:
    So, I am so depressed I cannot even work on my book. I love reading. I adore writing. Yet for all of this, whenever I go to work on my book I have no incentive; no drive. I'm in a slump. I just want to sit in a corner and stare at a wall. Depression sucks.

    You could try to alleviate your depression by READING books as opposed to writing them (just for now) I recommend:

    Jack London - White Fang
    Jon Krakauer - Into The Wild (accompanied by the soundtrack)
    Leo Tolstoy - The Kingdom Of God Is Within You

    Stop what you're doing, shut down the computer and pick up a book. And treat yourself to a cup of tea. You deserve it!
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    genie wrote:
    ooohhh, lets start talking about who's life is more shitter! :D i'll start :D

    ok, so i don't have a job, jobs i'm applying for i have no passion for ( and it's my fault completely ), i have no boyfriend, and i have little amount of friends...and bla bla bla........and i don't feel depressed!!!! probably due to the fact that it doesn't bother me and i've got ambition......just haven't got enought energy.

    but i sure as hell wouldn't want to be in debt with anyone and have no job whilst living in US. here is a funny idea i've heard people do that, take out another loan in live on this money until you think you will get a job.....and then 3 weeks or something before starting your new job declare yourself bankrupt. :D

    or another idea is just run away from your debts....
    It's not just my financial debt that I'm pissed off about, it's my personality that I can't change.
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    LongRd. wrote:
    It's not just my financial debt that I'm pissed off about, it's my personality that I can't change.

    You can change yourself to be a bit more positive if you really want to. It depends how bad you want to change, I think. :) Or maybe just see a doctor if it's effecting your life?
  • chiquimonkey
    chiquimonkey Posts: 9,337
    i've been in a weird state in that i feel creative but because my hand is all fucked up i can't draw :( sorta the reverse of creative block. just feeling like a blockhead lol i didn't realize not being able to draw would have upset me so...it's really done a number on me.

    sometimes a way to work thru a block is to find another mode of expression, changing one's eyes out to a different way of thinking. that's what i'm trying to do myself anyway just to get something out. drawing with my left hand has been 'interesting' lol
  • TrixieCat
    TrixieCat Posts: 5,756
    ForestBrain wrote:
    Yep, yep, MC!
    I'm bipolar and this happens a lot. Right now, I'm feeling better. haha, we'll see how long it lasts. Thanks everybody for your kind words. I will try not to start another depression thread, but I cannot make any promises for my other side. :D
    If you are diagnosed bi-polar, are you medicated??
    Bi-polar is not something to just dismiss and ride the high tide and complain about the low time.
    Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
    And I don't feel right when you're gone away
  • Enkidu
    Enkidu So Cal Posts: 2,996
    I'm a writer so I totally understand writers block (and depression, too). In my blackest moods, music seems to help pull me out. As for your writing, I find if I keep at it, the writing actually makes me feel better. Force yourself to write a page of something one day, it can be total shit. One of my writing teachers called it "vomiting on the page." But when you let yourself go, sometimes you find good work along with the vomit. Seriously. Check out some writing classes - UCLA Extension has great online classes (you never have to see anybody).

    Good luck to you.
  • NY PJ1
    NY PJ1 Posts: 9,533
    valuim
  • in_hiding79
    in_hiding79 Posts: 4,315
    one word....


    XANAX.....
    And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...,"
    "What a stupid lamb."
    "What a sick, masochistic lion."

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