I'm fighting some really fucking bad thoughts right now.

harmless_little_f***

Jeanie wrote:

Well, I don't know what you should do hlf, but I can say that I was in such a mess going to work every day that last few months that I would physically tremble and shake and cry each morning on the way in and again each night when I left and being there during the day was truly torturous. When I finally decided the time had come to leave, I packed up all my stuff very quietly and left the building and promised myself I would never return. My doctor, when I explained just how revolting the past few months had been, wrote me out a certificate for stress leave on the spot and I contacted my boss the next day and informed them I was resigning and that I had a doctor's certificate and wouldn't be back. Looking back on it now, I cannot say that I have even the smallest pang of regret for doing it that way. I'm not normally the kind of person that wouldn't work out my notice but there was no way I could go back into that building. I really think you should consider it a valid option to get yourself out. It's not worth the angst trying to keep going when it's affecting you so badly.

Jeanie, thankyou.

This is exactly my experience for weeks, months now. I've cried in front of my boss at three supervision meetings now and she still just looks at me with dollar signs in her eyes. I just cannot do it anymore. I'll look into this option, thankyou again.

facepollution

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

I just wish they'd fire me. They finished the meeting without firing me, and I wish they'd had the fucking backbone to do so. I know why they didn't though; they didn't because if they had done, I'd have had grounds to go back and get them punished for it.

You know if they are pushing you into a corner whereby it is so awful, you may have grounds to sue them anyway. I forget what the technical term for it is.......

harmless_little_f***

facepollution wrote:

You know if they are pushing you into a corner whereby it is so awful, you may have grounds to sue them anyway. I forget what the technical term for it is.......

Thanks. Tbh I don't feel any need to sue them. I just need to see the back of them.

the wolf

my question i guess, is this. here in the fucked up US of A, this certificate you speak of , would do fuck all to help out in a problem like this.

i mean yeah, i would have a note from my dr. saying i needed time off, but i wouldnt get paid, and they could still let me go if they wanted to.

so how does that help anything? wouldnt it be better or the same thing to just quit?

maybe things are different there for you guys. but im not following this.

facepollution

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Thanks. Tbh I don't feel any need to sue them. I just need to see the back of them.

I totally understand that mate. Hope it all works out ok for you.

Jeanie

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Jeanie, thankyou.

This is exactly my experience for weeks, months now. I've cried in front of my boss at three supervision meetings now and she still just looks at me with dollar signs in her eyes. I just cannot do it anymore. I'll look into this option, thankyou again.

You're welcome my friend.

I'm really sorry that it's happening to you, it's such an awful situation to be in but just not worth your health and happiness.
I promise, I really NEVER have regretted it. And I worked there for 13 years! :eek:
I cannot tell you what a weight was lifted off my shoulders when I finally made the decision. I didn't care what happened to me, I just knew I would never step foot in that building again. I was more frightened of what would become of me if I stayed than if I left. I think you'll find it that way too. Fingers crossed and good luck for a speedy, and happy resolution. You can do it.

facepollution

the wolf wrote:

my question i guess, is this. here in the fucked up US of A, this certificate you speak of , would do fuck all to help out in a problem like this.

i mean yeah, i would have a note from my dr. saying i needed time off, but i wouldnt get paid, and they could still let me go if they wanted to.

so how does that help anything? wouldnt it be better or the same thing to just quit?

maybe things are different there for you guys. but im not following this.

Most people get paid if they are off sick over here in the UK, and stress counts as illness.

harmless_little_f***

the wolf wrote:

my question i guess, is this. here in the fucked up US of A, this certificate you speak of , would do fuck all to help out in a problem like this.

i mean yeah, i would have a note from my dr. saying i needed time off, but i wouldnt get paid, and they could still let me go if they wanted to.

so how does that help anything? wouldnt it be better or the same thing to just quit?

maybe things are different there for you guys. but im not following this.

To be honest I don't know about any of this stuff, no matter what side of the pond. I know my employers. They'll just fire my arse if I send em a note, whether they're 'allowed' to or not.

But I also don't know how 'quitting' works. If you quit, are you not still obligated to stay another month? I just need any way I can find to not do that. Maybe a Chris McCandless is in order.

mole1985

This website is very useful for all jobs/interviews/questions/CVs ect.

http://jobsearch.about.com/od/interviewquestionsanswers/a/interviewquest.htm

the wolf

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

To be honest I don't know about any of this stuff, no matter what side of the pond. I know my employers. They'll just fire my arse if I send em a note, whether they're 'allowed' to or not.

But I also don't know how 'quitting' works. If you quit, are you not still obligated to stay another month? I just need any way I can find to not do that. Maybe a Chris McCandless is in order.

wait a min. im being taken to school here on how different things are here and there.

what do you mean that even if you quit, you would be obligated to stay another month?

facepollution

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

To be honest I don't know about any of this stuff, no matter what side of the pond. I know my employers. They'll just fire my arse if I send em a note, whether they're 'allowed' to or not.

But I also don't know how 'quitting' works. If you quit, are you not still obligated to stay another month? I just need any way I can find to not do that. Maybe a Chris McCandless is in order.

Do you not have a copy of your contract? It should tell you in there how much notice you have to give. Or do you have a human resources/personnel department? They should be able to tell you. What is your sickness policy? Stress shouldn't be taken any less seriously than if you needed time off for cancer treatment or something. They can't just fire you, there are laws that protect you against that.

Jeanie

the wolf wrote:

my question i guess, is this. here in the fucked up US of A, this certificate you speak of , would do fuck all to help out in a problem like this.

i mean yeah, i would have a note from my dr. saying i needed time off, but i wouldnt get paid, and they could still let me go if they wanted to.

so how does that help anything? wouldnt it be better or the same thing to just quit?

maybe things are different there for you guys. but im not following this.

ah, ok well I'm not sure what the situation is there in the US but here in Australia with the company that I worked for, I was required to give 4 weeks notice. The medical certificate for stress leave entitled me to leave with all my benefits still payable. I wasn't paid for the time I didn't work but to be honest wooluf, I could not have cared less in the end. I just wanted out! And fast!! So as it turned out for me, I was still paid out any unused sick leave and holidays AND accrued long service leave. I'm fairly certain they did that because they knew that I had been victimized by the new office manager and had grounds for lodging a complaint with the equal opportunities commission. I also know that by leaving the way that I did, they bent over backwards to give me a good reference. That's just my case, so I'm not sure how it would be for others or in other countries. If I'd quit I think I'd have had to wait to apply for social security and many of my entitlements would not have been paid.

harmless_little_f***

mole1985 wrote:

This website is very useful for all jobs/interviews/questions/CVs ect.

http://jobsearch.about.com/od/interviewquestionsanswers/a/interviewquest.htm

Thanks mole. I need a break to do nothing, but after that this is the first place I'll look.

RolandTD20Kdrummer

constructive dismissal.....he said she said...

Just do your job and to hell with them...who the fuck are they anyway? No seriously... who the hell are they really?

Just do your job be polite and don't let it affect you. It's inconsequential, if you let it affect you negatively this is where the problems arise.

First things first..you need to step back from the negative emotional connections and just be genuinely nice so that it becomes incredibly apparent they are just being incredible assholes by not reciprocating. There are boundaries on how ridiculous people can go without losing face entirely and falling entirely subject to their own vitriol by their peers.

Also find motivational happiness in whichever form it comes, and be happy for the things in your life you do have. Write them down in a list on a piece of paper and look at it often. Stop to dwell in this feeling as often as you can, to maintain a positive outlook and direction. Learn to appreciate the things in your life no matter how small, and become empowered by it going forward.

the wolf

Jeanie wrote:

ah, ok well I'm not sure what the situation is there in the US but here in Australia with the company that I worked for, I was required to give 4 weeks notice. The medical certificate for stress leave entitled me to leave with all my benefits still payable. I wasn't paid for the time I didn't work but to be honest wooluf, I could not have cared less in the end. I just wanted out! And fast!! So as it turned out for me, I was still paid out any unused sick leave and holidays AND accrued long service leave. I'm fairly certain they did that because they knew that I had been victimized by the new office manager and had grounds for lodging a complaint with the equal opportunities commission. I also know that by leaving the way that I did, they bent over backwards to give me a good reference. That's just my case, so I'm not sure how it would be for others or in other countries. If I'd quit I think I'd have had to wait to apply for social security and many of my entitlements would not have been paid.

wow, here , most jobs only require a 2 week notice. and most places ive worked, if you put that notice in, they just tell you that you should leave that day. now thats not the norm, but in sales jobs, most dont want you there if they know you are leaving anyway.
but a month! holy hell! thats crazy!

Jeanie

the wolf wrote:

wow, here , most jobs only require a 2 week notice. and most places ive worked, if you put that notice in, they just tell you that you should leave that day. now thats not the norm, but in sales jobs, most dont want you there if they know you are leaving anyway.
but a month! holy hell! thats crazy!

Yep! It was all part of the work place agreements and enterprise bargaining that came in with one of our fearless leaders! :rolleyes:

It's such a bullshit way of going about it, because really, once you've decided you've had a gut full you're really not working to capacity anyway.

Thankfully my doctor gave me a certificate for two weeks and then said if they insisted on me coming back to work out the other two weeks she'd just write me another. I informed them of that and thankfully they saw the stupidity of trying to get me to come back. But then, like I mentioned, I think they were fairly concerned I had grounds to take them to arbitration anyway. They really did give me such a hard time and it was discriminatory and they knew it. I do know that there were others that weren't as determined or prepared to fight as I was that they did force to work the 4 weeks.

the wolf

Jeanie wrote:

Yep! It was all part of the work place agreements and enterprise bargaining that came in with one of our fearless leaders! :rolleyes:

It's such a bullshit way of going about it, because really, once you've decided you've had a gut full you're really not working to capacity anyway.

Thankfully my doctor gave me a certificate for two weeks and then said if they insisted on me coming back to work out the other two weeks she'd just write me another. I informed them of that and thankfully they saw the stupidity of trying to get me to come back. But then, like I mentioned, I think they were fairly concerned I had grounds to take them to arbitration anyway. They really did give me such a hard time and it was discriminatory and they knew it. I do know that there were others that weren't as determined or prepared to fight as I was that they did force to work the 4 weeks.

wow, learn something new everyday yeah?
in ways , you are fucked with the whole 4 week thing. but it sounds easier to get a helping hand from doctors too then it does here.
IDK i guess in the grand scheme of things we are all slaves to stupid bullshit rules and regulations, and laws, that were put forth by ignorant assholes.

FinsburyParkCarrots

You know, if you're in a bad situation at work with potentially legal ramifications, supplying information on the internet on the matter isn't necessarily going to help, if you're spotted. Draw your horns in a little, seriously.

in_hiding79

Please feel better soon! :(

urbanhippie

You'll get there... I know it