I want to confess a real secret to you all

acoustic guy

Wow,
after reading all these posts I feel like a real dick b/c of my first post.
Sorry Malcolm, I hope you figure it out.

It is nice to see the people here who reached out to PM you.
Good people here.

And yes, I am a good person, I just am a ballbreaker.

My wife read my first post here and ripped me a new one!

faithful227

I too used to have these types of issues. Funny part about it was I was married at the time. We did not have a healthy open relationship at all, and I built myself into a box. I couldn't talk to her, but I would stay up for hours in chat rooms talking to complete strangers. I felt I could be myself with them I guess. Weird.

I've been divorced for about four years now. I actually ended up moving to a completely different state and surrounded myself with all new people. I found that when I did this, I was able to get people to know for who I really was, not the idea of who they thought i was. I'm not saying this is what everyone should do, but it worked for me. I still have moments here and there, of course, but nowhere near like it was before.

Hang in there man, I guess what you need to do is figure out what you need to do to try and get yourself out of this. i would say to maybe let one of your "friends" in, and maybe they could help, but that didn't work for me. The only one who really knew what was good for me was me.

Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk. I have all the messenger services.....

Good Luck

TrixieCat

I was kind of hoping you were going to tell us that you finally met the girl of your dreams. Sorry M...I know you have been struggling with this for some time now.

given2fly78

This is a very serious subject.

Let me ask you a question.....do you prefer to just be alone? I mean, as opposed to be in social situations, spend time by yourself? There is a difference between craving anomyous social interaction and real face to face social situations.

The reason I ask is that I can relate to that. Really. Outwards, I'm the most social person you'd meet. But outside of work, I prefer to be by myself. If I didn't have my husband, I'd always be alone. I have a lot of "friends" but only a few close close "forever" friends as I call them. The type that I'd share anything with - and really if I think about it only 1 that I'd trust with my life. And I only see him a few times a month, but we have that type of relationship where we don't need to be attached at the hip.

Some people, such as myself, find comfort in peace and quiet. In my own entertainment.

What do you do for work? I think that might have something to do with it? If you are constantly on the phone or in meetings/group settings, working with people - that sort of thing - you might need an escape from it. That's how I feel.

Does it make me lonely? My husband says so. He says I'm unsocial. He knows how I am in social settings though - always the center of attention. But if I'm asked to do something outside of work, I'd prefer to stay home - even by myself. But I don't think it makes me lonely, I just prefer quiet and my own time.

As for talking to people that you don't know on phone lines, it's that connection - and not face to face. That's not unnatural. It's easy, it's instant, and it's comfortable. But don't let that be the center of your life.

It's easy for me to say because I'm married. And I'm in a good point in my life professionally. If I ever was single, I'd be single forever, as I'd never leave my house! So, it might not be a bad idea to join some networking groups, find something you like to do and get involved. Not just to meet people, but to spark some interest. Get that blood flowing again.

All the best to you, don't let anyone get you down. You sound like a nice person and I give you credit for bringing this up.

cory

Listen Malcolm X, you've got to retire from the site for a while. Meet a woman. Have some wild sex. Develop a life with her. Eventually marry her. And then revisit the site to escape the inevitable hatred you will feel towards being married.

That's how most of us have done it. All except for soulsinging who uses this as a proving ground to develop argument tact in a courtroom once he graduates law school;)

Please stop calling sex lines. Just call TrixieCat. She walk you through some boredom, I'm sure:)

soulsinging

cory wrote:

Listen Malcolm X, you've got to retire from the site for a while. Meet a woman. Have some wild sex. Develop a life with her. Eventually marry her. And then revisit the site to escape the inevitable hatred you will feel towards being married.

That's how most of us have done it. All except for soulsinging who uses this as a proving ground to develop argument tact in a courtroom once he graduates law school;)

Please stop calling sex lines. Just call TrixieCat. She walk you through some boredom, I'm sure:)

i would argue with this, but since your qualifications as an expert witness on sex relations are impeccable, i must stipulate to your opinion and encourage malcolm to accept your testimony and move for a directed verdict with injunctive relief ordering him to get laid.

MrBrian

Malcolm_X wrote:

I think I am a deeply lonely person.....I mean very, very lonely!!! And I have been this way I believe the majority of my life. Like I know a lot of people and I have friends, and people like me. I'm 24 and I've been on some dates, but never any real romantic ones....never had a girlfriend or anything like that......

But anyway, sometimes, and I haven't done this lately, but I call up phone sex lines....not for phone sex, but just because I want someone to talk to. You'd actually be surprised...most of these girls are in college, and its nice to just be able to open up to them. Most of them have told me that they can tell that I'm very lonely, and that I really need to tear down these walls that I build and let someone in....I dunno, I just wanted to get that off my chest.

I remember being really lonely @ 24 (which was just a few years ago). I did'nt date much, but did smoke lots of pot which helped soooo much. But you don't have to do that. anyway I'm about to meet the family of the girl I'm gonna marry, I'm freaked out man. freaked out. my point is, when it happens, it happens. Don't call those sex lines anymore. take up a hobby, really. it helps.

_Crazy_Mary_

I've always been lonely, too. I'm a waitress and bartender and everybody loves me, but that's all an act. Honestly, I feel more like an actress than anything. I'm actually really shy. I don't like to return merchandise or to be involved in confrontation or to call the propane company to order propane or anything like that. I just don't like talking to people. But when I'm waiting tables or pouring drinks, I'm talking to people nonstop. I work 4-12 hours a day interacting with people and the only way I can do it is because I have to; it's my job. I have two close friends, a husband and three daughters. That's pretty much all I have. Those are the only people I really "talk" to. The two friends and husband have all been in my life for a very long time and I'm 30 years old. It just takes time to develop relationships with people. That's probably why I love this place so much. Someone is always here with a response.

TrixieCat

cory wrote:

Listen Malcolm X, you've got to retire from the site for a while. Meet a woman. Have some wild sex. Develop a life with her. Eventually marry her. And then revisit the site to escape the inevitable hatred you will feel towards being married.

That's how most of us have done it. All except for soulsinging who uses this as a proving ground to develop argument tact in a courtroom once he graduates law school;)

Please stop calling sex lines. Just call TrixieCat. She walk you through some boredom, I'm sure:)

While I appreciate you thinking of me Cory, please stop giving out my phone number to all of your friends. And that includes any of your older, male family members. My husband is begining to get annoyed.

jocelyn

There are a lot of people who are lonely...try here

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

It makes me feel better when I feel disconnected.

jamie uk

cory wrote:

Listen Malcolm X, you've got to retire from the site for a while. Meet a woman. Have some wild sex. Develop a life with her. Eventually marry her. And then revisit the site to escape the inevitable hatred you will feel towards being married.

That's how most of us have done it. All except for soulsinging who uses this as a proving ground to develop argument tact in a courtroom once he graduates law school;)

Please stop calling sex lines. Just call TrixieCat. She walk you through some boredom, I'm sure:)

You're outed! You don't disagree with everything I've ever said or thought! Ha,ha. Cory, you are brimming with life my friend, brimming with life in just the same way a tissue is brimming with life, just before it's flushed down the lavvy by a 14 year old boy.

MattCameronKicksButt

jamie uk wrote:

You're outed! You don't disagree with everything I've ever said or thought! Ha,ha. Cory, you are brimming with life my friend, brimming with life in just the same way a tissue is brimming with life, just before it's flushed down the lavvy by a 14 year old boy.

Well, duh!

Boom The Cat

Not sure about the phone sex lines, but that's pretty much how I'll turn out.

I have loads of casual friends who I can make some small talk with and possibly share things in common with but thats as far as friendships go with me. I don't have any good friends, just ones that have stuck around longer than others.

As for relationships, I've never been one to try and get laid, wasn't really into that whole 'jump on the first person's back who will let me' thing. I guess it doesn't mean much if there's no passion between the two people. While I'd go for personality anyday, I think my main problem is myself, I suck at being close to people, couldn't do it with my family, couldn't do it to the numerous girls that I've come really close to being in a relationship with.

Being lonely definitley has it's moments though.

Boom The Cat

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

I've always been lonely, too. I'm a waitress and bartender and everybody loves me, but that's all an act. Honestly, I feel more like an actress than anything. I'm actually really shy. I don't like to return merchandise or to be involved in confrontation or to call the propane company to order propane or anything like that. I just don't like talking to people. But when I'm waiting tables or pouring drinks, I'm talking to people nonstop. I work 4-12 hours a day interacting with people and the only way I can do it is because I have to; it's my job. I have two close friends, a husband and three daughters. That's pretty much all I have. Those are the only people I really "talk" to. The two friends and husband have all been in my life for a very long time and I'm 30 years old. It just takes time to develop relationships with people. That's probably why I love this place so much. Someone is always here with a response.

It's also interesting how many lonely people put on an act. I wonder perhaps if this is how so many are lonely. Maybe, if you were to be yourself, you would feel comfortable in your own skin and you would attract more people; people that you want to be around and people that want to be around you.

Just a suggestion

soulsinging

Boom The Cat wrote:

It's also interesting how many lonely people put on an act. I wonder perhaps if this is how so many are lonely. Maybe, if you were to be yourself, you would feel comfortable in your own skin and you would attract more people; people that you want to be around and people that want to be around you.

Just a suggestion

the guy who just admitted he is lonely and can't get close to people is not making suggestions about how to be social?

Boom The Cat

soulsinging wrote:

the guy who just admitted he is lonely and can't get close to people is not making suggestions about how to be social?

Yeah, I'm the wrong person to be giving advice, but it makes sense. Just one of those thoughts really.

soulsinging

Boom The Cat wrote:

Yeah, I'm the wrong person to be giving advice, but it makes sense. Just one of those thoughts really.

fair enough... just sounded like you suddenly considered yourself an expert rather than thinking out loud

genie

acoustic guy wrote:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.......................................Oh, you are serious huh?
Sorry.

Acoustic guy from all the other posts and from talking to you i know you're good guy. So i'm not going to slag you off. I will say however, that maybe you haven't experienced loneliness to such extent as this guy had. Believe me there are people outhere, normal young people who have no friends or hardly any friends and never had a girlfriend/boyfriend. I can't explain why it happens so, but laughing at the person with this kind of problem is kind of low.

You could've just said nothing at all or offered sympathetic words.

But then i'm not a moderator and i can't tell you what you should say and what you shouldn't. I just want to make you aware that it's a not nice thing to do.

genie

acoustic guy wrote:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.......................................Oh, you are serious huh?
Sorry.

oh, no i posted my reply twice. sorry everyone

genie

Malcolm_X wrote:

I think I am a deeply lonely person.....I mean very, very lonely!!! And I have been this way I believe the majority of my life. Like I know a lot of people and I have friends, and people like me. I'm 24 and I've been on some dates, but never any real romantic ones....never had a girlfriend or anything like that......

But anyway, sometimes, and I haven't done this lately, but I call up phone sex lines....not for phone sex, but just because I want someone to talk to. You'd actually be surprised...most of these girls are in college, and its nice to just be able to open up to them. Most of them have told me that they can tell that I'm very lonely, and that I really need to tear down these walls that I build and let someone in....I dunno, I just wanted to get that off my chest.

i'm not going to write such bullshit as "don't worry one day you'll find someone special"

cause it's all bullshit, our life is not a fucking fairy-tale and doesn't end with a happy ending.

As Harmless said live for today, make the most out everyday you have whatever it is you're doing. And just keep yourself occupied.

sex lines??? why?? if you haven't got a female friend, who just wants to be your friend then get one.