lonliness

deadnote

im 35 aand wondering aabout this lonely road

anyone else a lonely loser

EvilMerlin

I'm very lonely. Always have been since I started learning about my emotions in my early teens.

Always the lonely soul in a crowd.

libragirl

I am...but I guess I rather be lonely then take shit from someone. But yeah I would like to find someone who understands me and all....lonliness sucks. :(

Byrnzie

The world's a big place. Get out there and explore/enjoy it.

And never say never.

LONGRD

*gives hugs to the posters above*
http://www.boomspeed.com/1631951/hugs05.jpg

oh yeah loneliness sucks :(

ajedigecko

i understand where you are coming from and the cruel twist to the entire dilema is;

when you want company.........no one is around.

when you do not want company..........everyone is around.

you are

ajedigecko wrote:

i understand where you are coming from and the cruel twist to the entire dilema is;

when you want company.........no one is around.

when you do not want company..........everyone is around.

EXACTLY!!

Slip Kid

"raises hand"

yep it sucks but whatever..

stickboy

deadnote wrote:

im 35 aand wondering aabout this lonely road

anyone else a lonely loser

you're never alone man
trust that

cause days like today and the past few days/weeks at the age of 35 I feel like I'm about to actually hit the road....again.

stickboy

Slip Kid wrote:

"raises hand"

yep it sucks but whatever..

nah dog, put your fuckin hand down
Im so sick of people making others feel like losers..people like..well..the Beast, and my friends know who the beast is so I'll leave it at that.fuckin getting tired of it and then the beast and the fam and the friends wonder why I fuckin isolate myself from the world and the only time I enjoy life is when Im at a fuckin PJ show with you guys???
fuck that

yea fucked up days/weeks to say the least
:mad:

Slip Kid

stickboy wrote:

nah dog, put your fuckin hand down
Im so sick of people making others feel like losers..people like..well..the Beast, and my friends know who the beast is so I'll leave it at that.fuckin getting tired of it and then the beast and the fam and the friends wonder why I fuckin isolate myself from the world and the only time I enjoy life is when Im at a fuckin PJ show with you guys???
fuck that

yea fucked up days/weeks to say the least
:mad:

well i have no fucking clue who the beast is other than that guy from X-Men

ajedigecko

stickboy wrote:

you're never alone man
trust that

cause days like today and the past few days/weeks at the age of 35 I feel like I'm about to actually hit the road....again.

i am heading out on a day long ride tomorrow, actually today. just me, my bike, and my camera. all dirt roads.

LikeAnOcean

Lonelyness?.. I don't know how I made it, but I made it from a northside bar, an area I've never been, home, taking the El, walking.. drunk,.. I'm home, but I wonder how I got here.. alone. :(

stickboy

Slip Kid wrote:

well i have no fucking clue who the beast is other than that guy from X-Men

oh ..u mean mandi hasnt told ya??

its my fuckin mother dude...shes here from Greece on vacation to enjoy time with me and my sis and fam and all I here every day is BITCH BITCH BITCH
COME TO GREECE, DO THIS DO THAT< WHY HAVENT YOU ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING??? When are you gonna get married?? GET A REAL JOB!!
GOING TO 30 PEARL JAM SHOWS??? ARE YOU RETARDED?? You waste your money on that satanic bullshit???

like :rolleyes:
yea...and theres more..from like 7am till 11pm+ ..nag and bitch and whine

im about to fuckin lose it..shes leaving in like 2 weeks and trying to be a good son, but ...damn already man..EVERY FUCKIN DAY! :mad: :mad:

ajedigecko

stickboy wrote:

oh ..u mean mandi hasnt told ya??

its my fuckin mother dude...shes here from Greece on vacation to enjoy time with me and my sis and fam and all I here every day is BITCH BITCH BITCH
COME TO GREECE, DO THIS DO THAT< WHY HAVENT YOU ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING??? When are you gonna get married?? GET A REAL JOB!!
GOING TO 30 PEARL JAM SHOWS??? ARE YOU RETARDED?? You waste your money on that satanic bullshit???

like :rolleyes:
yea...and theres more..from like 7am till 11pm+ ..nag and bitch and whine

im about to fuckin lose it..shes leaving in like 2 weeks and trying to be a good son, but ...damn already man..EVERY FUCKIN DAY! :mad: :mad:

and the amazing thing is.............she would lay down her life for you.

stickboy

ajedigecko wrote:

i am heading out on a day long ride tomorrow, actually today. just me, my bike, and my camera. all dirt roads.

bro
when I left the fakeness of miami and the superficiality and all that stress there was no better feeling than being on a bike for 6 days pedaling north out of FLA...i felt so free and ..and...I dunno man
HAPPY???

so I mad it back to NY and now my stress level is rising again and people like friends and fam are sarting to notice me losing my sense of being humble
I hate myelf when I allow to get affected by bullshit

ajedigecko

stickboy wrote:

bro
when I left the fakeness of miami and the superficiality and all that stress there was no better feeling than being on a bike for 6 days pedaling north out of FLA...i felt so free and ..and...I dunno man
HAPPY???

so I mad it back to NY and now my stress level is rising again and people like friends and fam are sarting to notice me losing my sense of being humble
I hate myelf when I allow to get affected by bullshit

did you carry your gear with you?

sleep on the beach?

i would like to hear the details, but if not, i understand.

Slip Kid

stickboy wrote:

bro
when I left the fakeness of miami and the superficiality and all that stress there was no better feeling than being on a bike for 6 days pedaling north out of FLA...i felt so free and ..and...I dunno man
HAPPY???

so I mad it back to NY and now my stress level is rising again and people like friends and fam are sarting to notice me losing my sense of being humble
I hate myelf when I allow to get affected by bullshit

Well from talking to you the other day I got what was up. I didn't know you refered to her as the beast.. haha

I'm sorry that times are rough for you once again. Like other times, you'll get through it. It's hard to see it now but it'll happen

stickboy

ajedigecko wrote:

and the amazing thing is.............she would lay down her life for you.

no question man
I know shes got nothing but great intentions...its how she gets at me and how her anxiety and stress level rise

why is it so hard to understand these are the paths I choose and Im happy with those decisions wether good or bad..if I fuck up or fail OH WELL I'll deal with it..

sorry ..its just getting pretty bad to the point I gotta leave every day b4 she wakes up..I dont wanna tell her to STFUP!!! cause I'll feel like shit so I just nod my head and say yea yea..yea..yea.ok ma
fuck

stickboy

ajedigecko wrote:

did you carry your gear with you?

sleep on the beach?

i would like to hear the details, but if not, i understand.

fuck yea man
all long A1A on Collins ave from south beach to wherever it ended I would pass out on the beach, shower up in public restrooms or late at night in lke those rest stop areas where they have showers for truckers and keep it moving at night on US1 and the afternoon
Made it to Savannah had a smoke or 10 with Eric n Mandi and it was the shit.
Bought a backpack and my guitar..thats it...no rush to go anywhere just strolling thru diff places talking to diff people.

ajedigecko

stickboy wrote:

no question man
I know shes got nothing but great intentions...its how she gets at me and how her anxiety and stress level rise

why is it so hard to understand these are the paths I choose and Im happy with those decisions wether good or bad..if I fuck up or fail OH WELL I'll deal with it..

sorry ..its just getting pretty bad to the point I gotta leave every day b4 she wakes up..I dont wanna tell her to STFUP!!! cause I'll feel like shit so I just nod my head and say yea yea..yea..yea.ok ma
fuck

she is only concerned with your paths because she wants to protect you and values you. you give her reason to live regardless of your age.

i only speak like this because i see myself developing this mindset with my daughter and she is only 5.

man it is stressful......................good stress...........but stressful.

ajedigecko

stickboy wrote:

fuck yea man
all long A1A on Collins ave from south beach to wherever it ended I would pass out on the beach, shower up in public restrooms or late at night in lke those rest stop areas where they have showers for truckers and keep it moving at night on US1 and the afternoon
Made it to Savannah had a smoke or 10 with Eric n Mandi and it was the shit.
Bought a backpack and my guitar..thats it...no rush to go anywhere just strolling thru diff places talking to diff people.

that is a great highway.......i stayed in melbourne/titusville during the pj shows in florida.
i also enjoy talking to people that i may never meet again.....it is just a good feeling.

stickboy

ajedigecko wrote:

that is a great highway.......i stayed in melbourne/titusville during the pj shows in florida.
i also enjoy talking to people that i may never meet again.....it is just a good feeling.

yep, passed out by the Melbourne airport over there..went trhu all of that..awesome scenery..fuckin loved it.

I know I get it..her problem is shes such an old fashioned greek lady and her mind is a lil fucked up...she been thru a lot of surgerys and shit.and by no means do I hate her..I love her to death.its her fuckin approach!. SHe doesnt know any other way..so I just try to avoid it...doesnt work all the time :rolleyes:

writersu

deadnote wrote:

im 35 aand wondering aabout this lonely road

anyone else a lonely loser

Yeah, but I think we all feel lonely at times. It is so easy to look around at everyone else and perceive them as being happy and wonder why you can't have what you want, whether it is good friends , a family, a spouse, kids, etc.
I was at St Joseph's beach yesterday with my kids for the day and I like to people watch and all I could think of is to ask the question in my head as to why so many people seem to be mature enough to handle getting married and having kids and still like each other and give their kids a real family and an example to live by and my husband chose to instead lose all he had that was good and turn into a bitter person hating the kids and me and just basically talking mean about everything and everyone miserably. I couldn't help but wonder why things couldn't be more like the people I saw, (not perfect but still together) instead of me, now a single mom, who is the mom and the dad in thier lives. Don't get me wrong I love these kids and there is no way that I would want them to live anywhere but with me, but it is still something I think about; letting them down.
But also there are a lot of times I just prefer to be alone as opposed to being with other people (other than my kids of course).

writersu

stickboy wrote:

oh ..u mean mandi hasnt told ya??

its my fuckin mother dude...shes here from Greece on vacation to enjoy time with me and my sis and fam and all I here every day is BITCH BITCH BITCH
COME TO GREECE, DO THIS DO THAT< WHY HAVENT YOU ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING??? When are you gonna get married?? GET A REAL JOB!!
GOING TO 30 PEARL JAM SHOWS??? ARE YOU RETARDED?? You waste your money on that satanic bullshit???

like :rolleyes:
yea...and theres more..from like 7am till 11pm+ ..nag and bitch and whine

im about to fuckin lose it..shes leaving in like 2 weeks and trying to be a good son, but ...damn already man..EVERY FUCKIN DAY! :mad: :mad:

well at least get her to cook some pastitsio for you before she leaves or some dolmatos.

But yeah, you can't let someone else's view of your life decide who you are. But that is so easy for me to say right now. When I am where you are at, I can't feel that way too easily myself.
Hope all is better.

you are

writersu wrote:

Yeah, but I think we all feel lonely at times. It is so easy to look around at everyone else and perceive them as being happy and wonder why you can't have what you want, whether it is good friends , a family, a spouse, kids, etc.
I was at St Joseph's beach yesterday with my kids for the day and I like to people watch and all I could think of is to ask the question in my head as to why so many people seem to be mature enough to handle getting married and having kids and still like each other and give their kids a real family and an example to live by and my husband chose to instead lose all he had that was good and turn into a bitter person hating the kids and me and just basically talking mean about everything and everyone miserably. I couldn't help but wonder why things couldn't be more like the people I saw, (not perfect but still together) instead of me, now a single mom, who is the mom and the dad in thier lives. Don't get me wrong I love these kids and there is no way that I would want them to live anywhere but with me, but it is still something I think about; letting them down.
But also there are a lot of times I just prefer to be alone as opposed to being with other people (other than my kids of course).

my mom is the exact same way. had to raise us by herself and work all the time. i look back on it now and i'm sure she wanted some time alone, but never got it. we may have rebelled in our own way, we may have given her a hard time sometimes (or a lot ) but as i got older i loved her more and more. and i truly appreciate everything she has ever done. she is the strongest woman i know. strong to me doesn't mean she handles things perfectly, but she's still here, living life, and loving those around her.....sorry, i got carried away talking about how great my mom is.

ForestBrain

"Loneliness is a choice."

patrickredeyes

Next week I'll be at one of my best friend's wedding. I'm so dam proud and happy for him. Been threw alot together and I wish him and his wife to be so much happyness together. It's gonna be kinda hard cause I'm going single and I'm sure I will feel that loneliness. But the sun will rise another day.

TrixieCat

stickboy wrote:

bro
when I left the fakeness of miami and the superficiality and all that stress there was no better feeling than being on a bike for 6 days pedaling north out of FLA...i felt so free and ..and...I dunno man
HAPPY???

so I mad it back to NY and now my stress level is rising again and people like friends and fam are sarting to notice me losing my sense of being humble
I hate myelf when I allow to get affected by bullshit

That was you!
I had forgotten about your trip.
Sounds like you had an awesome time.
That kind of loneliness is good for the soul...that lone wolf feeling..connecting with other likeminded people.

Deadnote, you have to break out of this cycle of loneliness...live your life...while you have it.
You are not a loser...I always enjoy reading what you have to say in the poetry forum, even though it is damn depressing.

mattcozea

So if we're all lonely here together, does that make us not alone and therefore not lonely? And if we're not lonely what are we doing in this thread?

OffHeGoes29

Embrace it....because you're the only thing you got.....so take care of your self and enjoy it.