GF Problems :( Sorry

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Comments

  • CityMouse
    CityMouse Posts: 1,010
    Saturnal wrote:
    You've already wasted a lot of time...2 months. In my mind, there's NEVER a good enough reason to wait around for someone that long. Really, think about what you're torn between. You can't count on someone else's "love" or whatever to make your life complete and wonderful...you should be doing that on your own, all the time, regardless of who's going along with you for the ride. I know it's extra-kickass having a companion to ride with, but it's still kickass without one if you make it that way.

    Exactly Saturnal!
    Sometimes having someone can even make it LESS kick-ass.
    A point people often overlook- there's no rule that says you HAVE to be with someone (or that you should always be moving toward that).
  • OffHeGoes29
    OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    Sounds like she has a lot of personal issues......none of which should be for you to deal with unless she wants to be with you. Don't let this pull you in any more and waste your time. Sounds like she is just keep you around for a shoulder to cry on and to hold a spot open for her to come running back to when her plan didn't work out. There are a lot of selfish people out there, and you should be one of them, so do whats best for you and cut your losses. 4+ years is a long time, and I feel for you that you spent a lot of time and energy into this relationship. I've seen this shit time and time again with people, your problem is not unique. Stop "keeping the light on" for this women, shes an adult, and so are you, time to move on, she had her chance with you. If you believe you gave it 100% for the 4 years, then you should feel proud of you efforts, but don't waste any more effort wanting her back. There is some other girl out there that is more than willing to be by your side.

    Hang in there man, and be strong. If someone wants to be with you, then give it your effort, but don't waste another minute on some one that doesn't want you in there life.
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • OffHeGoes29
    OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    Oh, and sorry to say this but words like “make it on her own” & “find herself” are just vague ways of saying she doesn't want to be with you in a relationship. People can “make it on her own” & “find themselves" while being in a relationship, I did.

    "find out what happens when people stop being polite... and start getting real..."

    Sorry, I had to use that, couldn't pass it up....
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • CityMouse
    CityMouse Posts: 1,010
    OffHeGoes29 wrote:
    People can “make it on her own” & “find themselves" while being in a relationship, I did.

    true, but it is also true that many people want to experience living alone and supporting themselves at some point in their lives. If you go straight from your parents' house to basically a marriage living situation, you really miss out on that aspect.
  • OffHeGoes29
    OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    CityMouse wrote:
    true, but it is also true that many people want to experience living alone and supporting themselves at some point in their lives. If you go straight from your parents' house to basically a marriage living situation, you really miss out on that aspect.

    Yeah, situations like that are usually due to maturity and rushing into a situation with out knowing themselves as an adult yet. My opinion is that if someone truly loves and wants to be with someone, nothing will stand in the way of that. And if they are in a healthy relationship, one can meet their personal goals with out ditching the other person. The only reason someone becomes dependant on another person is if they let themselves be. Unless you are physically unable to provide for yourself, there is no reason why someone should depend on the significant other to "carry" them.

    Sorry to say this, but the ability to make money is the only thing that defines a physical dependence. Unless you have kids, then you focus should be them.....but once again, people loose sight of that. BUT everything else is just a state of mind.

    In my small amount of experience with my own relationships,
    and a lot of experience from my own family, I think people like to use these things as excuses to avoid tell people their real feelings.
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • OffHeGoes29
    OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    jbalicki10 wrote:
    I have 2 words for you: RUN AWAY

    I know it sounds harsh. Being in a relationship with someone who has unresolved emotional issues is a ticking timebomb. Doesn't mean it can't work, but eventually if not resolved.... kablooey... This will not end well.

    Couldn't say it better myself
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • RolandTD20Kdrummer
    RolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    not enough money...manhood to small...or she's just insane...

    one of those three...
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • RolandTD20Kdrummer
    RolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    Ledbetterman10 wrote:
    you've been reading this crap for 8 years?

    Possibly the best post I've seen so far this year...
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • OffHeGoes29
    OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    not enough money...manhood to small...or she's just insane...

    one of those three...

    What if its all three?


    Well then, I'm fucked
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
  • clark_kent
    clark_kent Posts: 166
    CityMouse wrote:
    true, but it is also true that many people want to experience living alone and supporting themselves at some point in their lives. If you go straight from your parents' house to basically a marriage living situation, you really miss out on that aspect.

    except she didnt do that. she moved back in with her mom. there's something else going on here.
    "You've never been out of college, you don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector... they expect results." -Ray

    Denny Crane!
  • TheJUGGERNAUT29
    TheJUGGERNAUT29 Posts: 160
    My best advice is: one, tell her exactly how you feel through all of this, just to let her know your side; two, give her her space and let her decide, in her own time, what she want; and three, start going out with other people and see what is out there. Chances are, it may also be what she is curious about. I know you said you love her and want to be with her, but you never know what else could be out there. Give her time and if she comes around and you still haven't met someone else, maybe it was meant to be.
    6/14/08 - Bonnaroo
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    6/24/08 - MSG 1
    8/07/08 - Newark, EV Solo
    6/11/09 - Upper Darby, EV Solo
    10/28/09 - Spectrum 2
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  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    jbalicki10 wrote:
    I have 2 words for you: RUN AWAY

    I know it sounds harsh. Being in a relationship with someone who has unresolved emotional issues is a ticking timebomb. Doesn't mean it can't work, but eventually if not resolved.... kablooey... This will not end well.
    Everyone has unresolved emotional issues...it's just the level of dysfunction that varies from one person to the next. Except robots of course ;)
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • TuningOut
    TuningOut Posts: 12
    edited March 2016
    ...
    Post edited by TuningOut on
  • CityMouse
    CityMouse Posts: 1,010
    clark_kent wrote:
    except she didnt do that. she moved back in with her mom. there's something else going on here.

    well maybe it was just temporary until she can find a place?

    but dude!!! she cannot sleep over anymore!!!
  • lalalalaaaaaaaa
    lalalalaaaaaaaa Posts: 2,445
    TuningOut wrote:
    I think you guys are right, I need to break clean from her. But I think I will give it a little more time before I go ahead with it
    oye...
    TuningOut wrote:
    I also want to help her be able to "break clean" from her mom first.
    OYE..................

    Yer killin' me, T.O.!

    But best of luck to ya.

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