How am I gonna explain this to my child?

South of Seattle

I hate that generic answer when there is a controversial issue.

Isn't that your job as a parent, to explain things to your children?

Like when a little girl sees two girls or guys kissing, or when the kid hears foul language. Parents always say "How am I gonna explain this to my child?"



I know I don't have any kids yet, but if my son/daughter asks me a question, I'll explain it to them. Isn't that part of being a good parent?

catefrances

South of Seattle wrote:

I hate that generic answer when there is a controversial issue.

Isn't that your job as a parent, to explain things to your children?

Like when a little girl sees two girls or guys kissing, or when the kid hears foul language. Parents always say "How am I gonna explain this to my child?"



I know I don't have any kids yet, but if my son/daughter asks me a question, I'll explain it to them. Isn't that part of being a good parent?

not a parent yet? ive got a couple spare if you want to rent them for a bit. you know, try it out, see how it fits being a 'responsible' adult.

anyhoo yes it is part of being a good parent to answer questions our children ask. you must be honest and age appropriate when doing so. the maturity of the child should also be taken into account.
same sex kissing is as easy as saying the two people involved love each other just like 'me and mummy' do? and people who love each other show that by kissing.
as for the 'foul' language, sorry cant help you there, fuck is my middle name.

sponger

My friend's kid once asked me why people use foul language. He must've been about 8 or 9 years old.

I said, "It's because they're looking for attention."

South of Seattle

catefrances wrote:

not a parent yet? ive got a couple spare if you want to rent them for a bit. you know, try it out, see how it fits being a 'responsible' adult.

anyhoo yes it is part of being a good parent to answer questions our children ask. you must be honest and age appropriate when doing so. the maturity of the child should also be taken into account.
same sex kissing is as easy as saying the two people involved love each other just like 'me and mummy' do? and people who love each other show that by kissing.
as for the 'foul' language, sorry cant help you there, fuck is my middle name.

It's just that the answer seems like the lame and easy way out of it. I'm glad my parents were always pretty straight up w/ me about this stuff.

catefrances

South of Seattle wrote:

It's just that the answer seems like the lame and easy way out of it. I'm glad my parents were always pretty straight up w/ me about this stuff.

do you have a particular question in mind? cause im starting to get a tad confused.

kids respond to honesty. of course that doesnt mean they need to know everything. and its quite a balancing act to know what to tell them and when.

Julien

I think parents have to tell the truth to their children and give them the answer to their questions.
But there are things that must wait, IMO...
If a 3-years-old asks how to make babies, I think it's too soon.

eMMI

South of Seattle wrote:

It's just that the answer seems like the lame and easy way out of it. I'm glad my parents were always pretty straight up w/ me about this stuff.

but.. isn't it also pretty much true? so why lame?

South of Seattle

eMMI wrote:

but.. isn't it also pretty much true? so why lame?

It's the "how am I gonna explain this?" that I think is lame. What Cate said, is what should be said IMO.

It's not one thing in particular, it just seems like whenever there is a controversial issue that involves a taboo subject that this always happens.

sponger

It always sort of baffles me when I hear about toddlers being curious about the origin of other toddlers. It's not a subject I remember being especially curious about at that age. Then again, I don't remember much about being that age. But, it does strike me as being somewhat out of the ordinary.

bernmodi

Julien wrote:

I think parents have to tell the truth to their children and give them the answer to their questions.
But there are things that must wait, IMO...
If a 3-years-old asks how to make babies, I think it's too soon.

My daughter was 2 1/2 years old when she realized that mummy had another baby in her belly. Of course we had to explain how it got there... you don't have to explain with all "technical" details, children are not interested anyway. That's pretty easy to do, no need to come up with stork stories. There's always an appropriate answer, no matter what age the child is.

South of Seattle

bernmodi wrote:

My daughter was 2 1/2 years old when she realized that mummy had another baby in her belly. Of course we had to explain how it got there... you don't have to explain with all "technical" details, children are not interested anyway. That's pretty easy to do, no need to come up with stork stories. There's allways an appropriate answer, no matter what age the child is.

Exactly! You don't need to tell them the sperm fertilized the egg. Just say something to the kid, the kid won't care in 10 minutes anyways.

SENROCK

South of Seattle wrote:

I know I don't have any kids yet, but if my son/daughter asks me a question, I'll explain it to them. Isn't that part of being a good parent?

yes. besides, kids believe what their parents tell them. its because of that that theres messed up kids-their parents werent strait about things but instead sugar coated.

South of Seattle

SENROCK! wrote:

yes. besides, kids believe what their parents tell them. its because of that that theres messed up kids-their parents werent strait about things but instead sugar coated.

That is exactly the biggest problem with those types of answers. Kids will remember when you're not telling the truth, it also let's the kids think, "you know what, it's ok to not give a straight answer or tell the truth"

SENROCK

South of Seattle wrote:

That is exactly the biggest problem with those types of answers. Kids will remember when you're not telling the truth, it also let's the kids think, "you know what, it's ok to not give a straight answer or tell the truth"

yes indeed. however, the parents that fall in this category will defend themselves and will say WE are wrong cuz we aint got kidz.

South of Seattle

SENROCK! wrote:

yes indeed. however, the parents that fall in this category will defend themselves and will say WE are wrong cuz we aint got kidz.

That's why I made this thread at night

SENROCK

South of Seattle wrote:

That's why I made this thread at night

hahahahahaha its all good. at least we'll be the ones laughing at THEM for revealing THEY are guilty!!! SUCKERS!!!

MattCameronKicksButt

South of Seattle wrote:

That is exactly the biggest problem with those types of answers. Kids will remember when you're not telling the truth, it also let's the kids think, "you know what, it's ok to not give a straight answer or tell the truth"

Well, the kids in my family and extended family are going to grow up completely screwy then. My boyfriends nephews at 6 and 7 still think their Grandpa was a pirate and fought in the first world war. Oh, and we quite often eat 'moon cheese'. It's a real delicasy that comes from our local supermarket. ahahahaha

South of Seattle

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Well, the kids in my family and extended family are going to grow up completely screwy then. My boyfriends nephews at 6 and 7 still think their Grandpa was a pirate and fought in the first world war. Oh, and we quite often eat 'moon cheese'. It's a real delicasy that comes from our local supermarket. ahahahaha

What was your Grandpa? A tax accountant?

MattCameronKicksButt

South of Seattle wrote:

What was your Grandpa? A tax accountant?

I don't know about my Grandpa but this one (his) was a judge.
(He also fought the Romans, btw. The battles he fought in get further back in history everytime.).

South of Seattle

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I don't know about my Grandpa but this one (his) was a judge.

Kinda like a Pirate then A Judicial Pirate!

MattCameronKicksButt

But anyway, yes, there was a time when one of my boyfriends nephews asked me how I got pregnant and I didn't know what to tell him. I just changed the subject. Maybe if it were my own child, it would have been easier.