How am I gonna explain this to my child?

South of Seattle

I hate that generic answer when there is a controversial issue.

Isn't that your job as a parent, to explain things to your children?

Like when a little girl sees two girls or guys kissing, or when the kid hears foul language. Parents always say "How am I gonna explain this to my child?"



I know I don't have any kids yet, but if my son/daughter asks me a question, I'll explain it to them. Isn't that part of being a good parent?

catefrances

South of Seattle wrote:

I hate that generic answer when there is a controversial issue.

Isn't that your job as a parent, to explain things to your children?

Like when a little girl sees two girls or guys kissing, or when the kid hears foul language. Parents always say "How am I gonna explain this to my child?"



I know I don't have any kids yet, but if my son/daughter asks me a question, I'll explain it to them. Isn't that part of being a good parent?

not a parent yet? ive got a couple spare if you want to rent them for a bit. you know, try it out, see how it fits being a 'responsible' adult.

anyhoo yes it is part of being a good parent to answer questions our children ask. you must be honest and age appropriate when doing so. the maturity of the child should also be taken into account.
same sex kissing is as easy as saying the two people involved love each other just like 'me and mummy' do? and people who love each other show that by kissing.
as for the 'foul' language, sorry cant help you there, fuck is my middle name.

sponger

My friend's kid once asked me why people use foul language. He must've been about 8 or 9 years old.

I said, "It's because they're looking for attention."

South of Seattle

catefrances wrote:

not a parent yet? ive got a couple spare if you want to rent them for a bit. you know, try it out, see how it fits being a 'responsible' adult.

anyhoo yes it is part of being a good parent to answer questions our children ask. you must be honest and age appropriate when doing so. the maturity of the child should also be taken into account.
same sex kissing is as easy as saying the two people involved love each other just like 'me and mummy' do? and people who love each other show that by kissing.
as for the 'foul' language, sorry cant help you there, fuck is my middle name.

It's just that the answer seems like the lame and easy way out of it. I'm glad my parents were always pretty straight up w/ me about this stuff.

catefrances

South of Seattle wrote:

It's just that the answer seems like the lame and easy way out of it. I'm glad my parents were always pretty straight up w/ me about this stuff.

do you have a particular question in mind? cause im starting to get a tad confused.

kids respond to honesty. of course that doesnt mean they need to know everything. and its quite a balancing act to know what to tell them and when.

Julien

I think parents have to tell the truth to their children and give them the answer to their questions.
But there are things that must wait, IMO...
If a 3-years-old asks how to make babies, I think it's too soon.

eMMI

South of Seattle wrote:

It's just that the answer seems like the lame and easy way out of it. I'm glad my parents were always pretty straight up w/ me about this stuff.

but.. isn't it also pretty much true? so why lame?

South of Seattle

eMMI wrote:

but.. isn't it also pretty much true? so why lame?

It's the "how am I gonna explain this?" that I think is lame. What Cate said, is what should be said IMO.

It's not one thing in particular, it just seems like whenever there is a controversial issue that involves a taboo subject that this always happens.

sponger

It always sort of baffles me when I hear about toddlers being curious about the origin of other toddlers. It's not a subject I remember being especially curious about at that age. Then again, I don't remember much about being that age. But, it does strike me as being somewhat out of the ordinary.

bernmodi

Julien wrote:

I think parents have to tell the truth to their children and give them the answer to their questions.
But there are things that must wait, IMO...
If a 3-years-old asks how to make babies, I think it's too soon.

My daughter was 2 1/2 years old when she realized that mummy had another baby in her belly. Of course we had to explain how it got there... you don't have to explain with all "technical" details, children are not interested anyway. That's pretty easy to do, no need to come up with stork stories. There's always an appropriate answer, no matter what age the child is.

South of Seattle

bernmodi wrote:

My daughter was 2 1/2 years old when she realized that mummy had another baby in her belly. Of course we had to explain how it got there... you don't have to explain with all "technical" details, children are not interested anyway. That's pretty easy to do, no need to come up with stork stories. There's allways an appropriate answer, no matter what age the child is.

Exactly! You don't need to tell them the sperm fertilized the egg. Just say something to the kid, the kid won't care in 10 minutes anyways.

SENROCK

South of Seattle wrote:

I know I don't have any kids yet, but if my son/daughter asks me a question, I'll explain it to them. Isn't that part of being a good parent?

yes. besides, kids believe what their parents tell them. its because of that that theres messed up kids-their parents werent strait about things but instead sugar coated.

South of Seattle

SENROCK! wrote:

yes. besides, kids believe what their parents tell them. its because of that that theres messed up kids-their parents werent strait about things but instead sugar coated.

That is exactly the biggest problem with those types of answers. Kids will remember when you're not telling the truth, it also let's the kids think, "you know what, it's ok to not give a straight answer or tell the truth"

SENROCK

South of Seattle wrote:

That is exactly the biggest problem with those types of answers. Kids will remember when you're not telling the truth, it also let's the kids think, "you know what, it's ok to not give a straight answer or tell the truth"

yes indeed. however, the parents that fall in this category will defend themselves and will say WE are wrong cuz we aint got kidz.

South of Seattle

SENROCK! wrote:

yes indeed. however, the parents that fall in this category will defend themselves and will say WE are wrong cuz we aint got kidz.

That's why I made this thread at night

SENROCK

South of Seattle wrote:

That's why I made this thread at night

hahahahahaha its all good. at least we'll be the ones laughing at THEM for revealing THEY are guilty!!! SUCKERS!!!

MattCameronKicksButt

South of Seattle wrote:

That is exactly the biggest problem with those types of answers. Kids will remember when you're not telling the truth, it also let's the kids think, "you know what, it's ok to not give a straight answer or tell the truth"

Well, the kids in my family and extended family are going to grow up completely screwy then. My boyfriends nephews at 6 and 7 still think their Grandpa was a pirate and fought in the first world war. Oh, and we quite often eat 'moon cheese'. It's a real delicasy that comes from our local supermarket. ahahahaha

South of Seattle

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Well, the kids in my family and extended family are going to grow up completely screwy then. My boyfriends nephews at 6 and 7 still think their Grandpa was a pirate and fought in the first world war. Oh, and we quite often eat 'moon cheese'. It's a real delicasy that comes from our local supermarket. ahahahaha

What was your Grandpa? A tax accountant?

MattCameronKicksButt

South of Seattle wrote:

What was your Grandpa? A tax accountant?

I don't know about my Grandpa but this one (his) was a judge.
(He also fought the Romans, btw. The battles he fought in get further back in history everytime.).

South of Seattle

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I don't know about my Grandpa but this one (his) was a judge.

Kinda like a Pirate then A Judicial Pirate!

MattCameronKicksButt

But anyway, yes, there was a time when one of my boyfriends nephews asked me how I got pregnant and I didn't know what to tell him. I just changed the subject. Maybe if it were my own child, it would have been easier.

Brain of J.Lo

South of Seattle wrote:

Isn't that your job as a parent, to explain things to your children?

Like when a little girl sees two girls or guys kissing, or when the kid hears foul language. Parents always say "How am I gonna explain this to my child?"

Yes, it's your job to help a kid navigate the world by answering tough questions. As far as the above issues...well, any parent worrying about that has other problems...lol.

My daughter just turned two, so she doesn't have any hard questions yet. Her life is a bowl of cherries right now. She thinks every one she meets is her friend. She says hello to birds and squirrels, and asks them how they're doing, for god's sake, lol.

There will come a time, however, that I have to explain things to her such as death, or the fact that she can't trust every stranger that she meets, to name a couple of examples. It's truly sad to think about having to upset her view of the world. I didn't really empathize with that until I had her. It's heartbreaking to think that her innocence will not last forever, and that I'll have to be the one to explain "hard" things to her.

South of Seattle

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

It's heartbreaking to think that her innocence will not last forever, and that I'll have to be the one to explain "hard" things to her.

That is why you're a good mother. You know that you are the one to explain it to her

DeLukin

South of Seattle wrote:

I know I don't have any kids yet, but if my son/daughter asks me a question, I'll explain it to them. Isn't that part of being a good parent?

It's tricky, though, because I think part of your job as a parent is to protect their innocence a little. I don't think it's a good idea to intentionally expose them to certain things (I know people who have no problem taking their pre-teen kids to R rated movies, for example), but at the same time you have to realize that kids are exposed to A LOT today just because of how accessible information is. So you walk a fine line - I always tell my kids the truth when they ask the tough questions, so they know I'm a good resource for finding stuff out and keep coming to me. When they do ask, though, I make sure my explanations are always sprinkled with the values that I'm trying to raise them by. So it's a fine line and maybe not as straight forward as it seems, but in the end if they feel comfortable enough to come to you and ask, that's half the battle IMO.

KosmicJelli

Always answer your children honestly and unopinionated, nevermind....crap lets make them homophobic by the time they are walking???

South of Seattle

DeLukin wrote:

It's tricky, though, because I think part of your job as a parent is to protect their innocence a little. I don't think it's a good idea to intentionally expose them to certain things (I know people who have no problem taking their pre-teen kids to R rated movies, for example), but at the same time you have to realize that kids are exposed to A LOT today just because of how accessible information is. So you walk a fine line - I always tell my kids the truth when they ask the tough questions, so they know I'm a good resource for finding stuff out and keep coming to me. When they do ask, though, I make sure my explanations are always sprinkled with the values that I'm trying to raise them by. So it's a fine line and maybe not as straight forward as it seems.

Don't all pre-teens see R rated movies

I know me and all my friend did.

Brain of J.Lo

South of Seattle wrote:

That is why you're a good mother. You know that you are the one to explain it to her

Thanks I think I'm doing ok so far.

meme

South of Seattle wrote:

I hate that generic answer when there is a controversial issue.

Isn't that your job as a parent, to explain things to your children?

Like when a little girl sees two girls or guys kissing, or when the kid hears foul language. Parents always say "How am I gonna explain this to my child?"



I know I don't have any kids yet, but if my son/daughter asks me a question, I'll explain it to them. Isn't that part of being a good parent?

Your job as a parent is to answer your kids' question in a manner that is appropriate to their age and development.

In the cases you mention, I have had absolutely no problem explaining to my child (now 8, but I think this came up a while ago) that some couples are made of a man and a woman and some others of two men or two women. I didn't go into how the sex is different in those cases, cause luckily he is not into sex dynamics just yet

In the case of foul language, I explain that some words are inappropriate, or offensive, or hurtful and should be avoided. In that vein, I also explained that I find it more tolerable when a foul word is uttered to mean general disappointed instead of being hurtful toward someone. That I had to do cause the kid lives with me and listens to the occasional bootleg

CityMouse

Julien wrote:

I think parents have to tell the truth to their children and give them the answer to their questions.
But there are things that must wait, IMO...
If a 3-years-old asks how to make babies, I think it's too soon.

when I was 5 my parents told me I had a new little sibling in mommy's tummy. I said "how did it get there?" and they said "god put it there." and I was "oh, ok." Seemed perfectly rational to me at the time . That would probably be the hardest question for me to deal with though. The others as the original poster said, like same sex kissing or whatever, I wouldn't have a problem with.

genie

South of Seattle wrote:

I hate that generic answer when there is a controversial issue.

Isn't that your job as a parent, to explain things to your children?

Like when a little girl sees two girls or guys kissing, or when the kid hears foul language. Parents always say "How am I gonna explain this to my child?"



I know I don't have any kids yet, but if my son/daughter asks me a question, I'll explain it to them. Isn't that part of being a good parent?

When i was young my parents didn't want to tell me where babies came from they were coy about it and also added that particular type of bird ( forgot the name ) brings babies.

honestly it would've been better if they said at least something honest, because after their reaction i became really curious, and later on found out it all in late night movies, and i'm not joking when i say this. my introduction to human reproduction was through soft porn and movies like Emmanuel oh the good times!

As for telling my kids ( when and if i have them ) it'll probably go something like this, bearing in mind i'm a bit warped nowdays :

you see my dear the reason why those two people are kissing ( whichever sex they are ) is because they are not in love but because they haven't gotten laid in a while and they most likely don't even fucking know the name of a person they are snoging haha, just kidding!! ( although we all know it actually goes on! )

small town beck

When I first read the title I thought there was something I had missed, R :eek: