Short Leash Today !!

mookie9999

drtyfrnk29 wrote:

Lose your thumbs in a nasty tractor/stimulator accident, did we?

Actually a freak bowling accident. You see growing up I was constantly ridiculed for having "fat thumbs". This resulted in numerous school yard fights. As a result of being made fun of I developed quite a complex. The only way I could make myself feel better was to go bowling and watch Sally Jesse Raphael. Well, one sad day in the summer of '88 I went bowling with some friends. I accidently left my custom made "Thumbinator" bowling ball at home and was forced to squeeze my thumb into one of the house balls. Well, after a few beers I was beginning to show off and wanted to bowl a strike using two balls at once. I forced my thumbs into those balls against my better judgment. I flung my arms back ready to release them at just the right time when all of a sudden both thumbs were severed. I did bowl a strike, but lost my thumbs forever. So that's my story. We're you really interested or just making small talk?

AmentsChick

mookie9999 wrote:

Actually a freak bowling accident. You see growing up I was constantly ridiculed for having "fat thumbs". This resulted in numerous school yard fights. As a result of being made fun of I developed quite a complex. The only way I could make myself feel better was to go bowling and watch Sally Jesse Raphael. Well, one sad day in the summer of '88 I went bowling with some friends. I accidently left my custom made "Thumbinator" bowling ball at home and was forced to squeeze my thumb into one of the house balls. Well, after a few beers I was beginning to show off and wanted to bowl a strike using two balls at once. I forced my thumbs into those balls against my better judgment. I flung my arms back ready to release them at just the right time when all of a sudden both thumbs were severed. i did bowl a strike, but lost my thumbs forever. So that's my story. We're you really interested or just making small talk?

LOL. You're one in a million, mookie.

RolandTD20Kdrummer

My neighbor keeps her dog cory on a short leash...

norm

Hawkshore wrote:

............Be careful of what you ask for

i'm just singing some pearl jam....aren't those the right lyrics?

Spunkie

I really want to know. I met a guy once and all his fingers were missing past the knuckle. I never asked him what happened and to this day, it drives my imagination wild not knowing.

(Phew, my head is not on the chopping block! Close call.)

josevolution

mookie9999 wrote:

Actually a freak bowling accident. You see growing up I was constantly ridiculed for having "fat thumbs". This resulted in numerous school yard fights. As a result of being made fun of I developed quite a complex. The only way I could make myself feel better was to go bowling and watch Sally Jesse Raphael. Well, one sad day in the summer of '88 I went bowling with some friends. I accidently left my custom made "Thumbinator" bowling ball at home and was forced to squeeze my thumb into one of the house balls. Well, after a few beers I was beginning to show off and wanted to bowl a strike using two balls at once. I forced my thumbs into those balls against my better judgment. I flung my arms back ready to release them at just the right time when all of a sudden both thumbs were severed. I did bowl a strike, but lost my thumbs forever. So that's my story. We're you really interested or just making small talk?

i believe your in the wrong bussiness go get your self an agent can you say stand up comedian damm your good today ...

failedpersephone

mookie9999 wrote:

The answer lies somewhere between a Rib Eye Steak and a pack of Trojans. I've said too much. I must be going.

The last time someone told me that, I got an eye full of raw meat and a very peculiar sensation in the Nether Regions.

also, I had trouble sitting down for a few weeks.

but, the answer was totally worth it.

who knew that Donald duck could bend like that?? and the color scheme???

unbelievable. freaking amazing, if you ask me.

MattCameronKicksButt

mookie9999 wrote:

Actually a freak bowling accident. You see growing up I was constantly ridiculed for having "fat thumbs". This resulted in numerous school yard fights. As a result of being made fun of I developed quite a complex. The only way I could make myself feel better was to go bowling and watch Sally Jesse Raphael. Well, one sad day in the summer of '88 I went bowling with some friends. I accidently left my custom made "Thumbinator" bowling ball at home and was forced to squeeze my thumb into one of the house balls. Well, after a few beers I was beginning to show off and wanted to bowl a strike using two balls at once. I forced my thumbs into those balls against my better judgment. I flung my arms back ready to release them at just the right time when all of a sudden both thumbs were severed. I did bowl a strike, but lost my thumbs forever. So that's my story. We're you really interested or just making small talk?

Has anyone ever told you, you should become a salesman?

mookie9999

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

Has anyone ever told you, you should become a salesman?

Stripper? Yes
Spelunker? Yes
Salesman? Nope. You're the first.

mookie9999

AmentsChick wrote:

LOL. You're one in a million, mookie.

That's what the doctor said who tried to re-attach my thumbs. Actually, he said something like in the over 1 million patients I have cared for, I have never dealt with such and idiot, but I knew what he really meant.

drtyfrnk29

mookie9999 wrote:

Actually a freak bowling accident. You see growing up I was constantly ridiculed for having "fat thumbs". This resulted in numerous school yard fights. As a result of being made fun of I developed quite a complex. The only way I could make myself feel better was to go bowling and watch Sally Jesse Raphael. Well, one sad day in the summer of '88 I went bowling with some friends. I accidently left my custom made "Thumbinator" bowling ball at home and was forced to squeeze my thumb into one of the house balls. Well, after a few beers I was beginning to show off and wanted to bowl a strike using two balls at once. I forced my thumbs into those balls against my better judgment. I flung my arms back ready to release them at just the right time when all of a sudden both thumbs were severed. I did bowl a strike, but lost my thumbs forever. So that's my story. We're you really interested or just making small talk?

At first I was merely making idle chit chat but now you have inspired me to write your biography, Fatty No Thumbs

dunkman

i was kept on a short leash once... that man is now in jail and i no longer have to bark for water.. its not all bad though... i have been trained to lick my own nuts.

dunkman

drtyfrnk29 wrote:

At first I was merely making idle chit chat but now you have inspired me to write your biography, Fatty No Thumbs

Fatty ArghKnuckle.

josevolution

holy fuck you guys are killing me laughing out loud good material from everyone involved better than comedy channel by miles ..

mookie9999

dunkman wrote:

i was kept on a short leash once... that man is now in jail and i no longer have to bark for water.. its not all bad though... i have been trained to lick my own nuts.

Your sig is useless without pics. On the other hand you being able to lick yourself is far too frightening to even invision, let alone see.

jamie uk

josevolution wrote:

i'm not saying anything else ...

Wtf you been up to Jose?
Stepped over the line?...Little too much of the ol' Chilean Merlot, little too much sexy mood music.....? We've all been there.

dunkman

mookie9999 wrote:

Your sig is useless without pics. On the other hand you being able to lick yourself is far too frightening to even invision, let alone see.

i have the evidence... but only Marty Feldman can truly authenticate the evidence in one glance... it takes us mere mortals two glances.

mookie9999

drtyfrnk29 wrote:

At first I was merely making idle chit chat but now you have inspired me to write your biography, Fatty No Thumbs

I'm ok with this. All I ask of you is what I asked of my uncle who every summer insisted on re-enacting the Ned Beatty scene from Deliverance. Please, be gentle.

drtyfrnk29

mookie9999 wrote:

I'm ok with this. All I ask of you is what I asked of my uncle who every summer insisted on re-enacting the Ned Beatty scene from Deliverance. Please, be gentle.

I'm not gonna ram it home to start. I was gonna ease it in. Like a gentleman.

josevolution

jamie uk wrote:

Wtf you been up to Jose?
Stepped over the line?...Little too much of the ol' Chilean Merlot, little too much sexy mood music.....? We've all been there.

hey where have you been allday it's comedy fest here today i allways behave myself, no wine yet but i do feel like a bottle might get opened tonight so i can raise a glass and toast i fellow pitster ...;)