Come on, let's spill the dirt on our F-ed up family issues

Cateeto

Wow....... Your cousin's bride seems like a real high maintenance crazy. I feel for you and not being able to hang out with your cousin much. I'm going through a similar thing with my husband's best friend, who I really like, but we never get to hang out with his side of the friend group because:

1. We moved an hour or so away (Which isn't a real excuse as we're able to drive and willing to any time!)

2. His best friend has control issues and now appreciates the fact that he's the "leader" of their group when my husband supposedly was before.

3. He has a psycho girlfriend who has it in for me.

Mainly 3 is the problem....

But anyway... My family.....

Uh.... It's too much to write, but there's a few threads out there about my mom killing various pets of mine and fucking with my family function. Family is a trip.... totally.

vedder_soup

your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries...

urbanhippie

My immediate family is tight. We visit, call and most of the time we all get on great.

As for my in-laws...... nah, you wouldn't believe me if I told ya....

Fifthelement

Have you and your cousin talked about what's going on privately? Maybe you should. Although, imo if she is a selfish as she sounds and he's as whipped as he sounds, then it may not do you any good. Perhaps it may be time for you and your wife to move on. Sitting there trying to figure out how to fix what cannot be fixed just wastes valuable time. Think about it, if these people were just friends and not family you'd have left a while ago. On a side note wtf is up with your sister/parents/aunts & uncles/other cousins that they will do stuff with them and not include you and your wife? Good luck on whatever you decide to do, but remember sometimes family relationships can be cancerous. The best thing to do is excise the cancer and heal.

JordyWordy

yeah families are....colourful. most my relatives get on really well in the last 5 years or so since my parents generation all moved to separate corners of the country ...but yeh, uncles, aunties....

secret love affairs, young deaths, emmigration, wasted inheritances, imbezzlement, outright stealing of property from each other, lots of alcoholism.....

my american cousins all get along though so thats nice to see!

we could all write our own books and release them as a collection!!

to the OP i think the above poster is right with his cancerous analogy. family are family but that shit is petty and life is too short to get involved with that kind of rubbish. egg their house and you'll feel better

audiodave

Mike Renzella wrote:

Yeah, it was insanely petty, and now I try as hard as I can, but I just see the cracks in my family dynamic now more than ever. My cousins/sister are always making plans, taking trips, camping, you name it, and my wife and I are never invited. That shit hurts deep after a lifetime of being close, and I can't understand it because I was genuinely excited to have them be a part of my wedding and the way they cut me out of theirs, and the rift has just grown so much since, baffles me.

Now I risk sounding petty, but this one single woman has almost single-handedly cut me out of my own family at this point. And I hate her. I HATE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your family obviously mean a lot to you, and I understand that it must hurt to be cut out like that. But, the longer you leave it this way, the harder it will be to ever reform any sort of relationship with them.

I think you should give your cousin a call and ask him why he is behaving like this. Explain that you are hurt and that you and your wife feel left out, and that your family, which he is a part of, is important to you and you want to have a good relationship with them.

But that's just me.

Chazz

vedder_soup wrote:

your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries...

brilliant

Go away or I shall taunt you a second time........

Mike Renzella

I think it has to do with the fact that my family is sort of clique-y, and my cousins' wife definetely falls more in line with them all than my wife does. My wife tends to keep quiet and not say anything confrontational, HIS wife has somehow taken control of everything our family does, she plans get togethers, she cooks the food, and my wife offers to help out but gets shut out of the process, making us sort of like spectators instead of contributing members.

In my own conspiracy-theory laden mind, it certainly seems like this is long-term revenge for what she sees as a slight against her.

I have thought about talking to my cousin, but the reality at the end of the day is that he is the one who did not ask me to be part of his wedding, he is pretty arrogant in his own right, and I'm not going to have a touchy feely conversation with him at this point, because it would be rather pointless.