Who has the two groups of friends?

acoustic guy

So I have one group of friends that I grew up with who are still unmarried, crazy, and party like they are still in their early twenties. They get together every weekend and PARTY.

Then I have another group of friends who most of which are married, have good jobs, and live the adult early thirties life.

Both groups are good people reguardless of their income or extracurricular activities, but ofcourse my wife does not approve of the first group. If I go out to meet up with them on a Saturday night I get "the look".
If I hang with the successful guys its usually with the wives.
Sometimes ya just need to get away and let loose

Anyone else have this in there life?

failedpersephone

I think i am part of the 1st group...but I have a good job and am doing fine financially...but I don't want marriage or kids...and I like to be silly...I don't act like a fratty-ass or anything - but normally weekends are full of strange-crazy-ness...

and I am one of the reasons the married friends aren't allowed to come out and play by their mom's decree...errr did I write mom. I meant wives.

which reminds me, once girls get rings they lose humor and turn into Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond wife...yeah I googled for her name)

bleeeeck! beware dudes!!! they are TRYING to Mervynize you!!!

Wobbie

Two GROUPS??? I barely have two FRIENDS !

GreenTeaDisease

failedpersephone wrote:

once girls get rings they lose humor and turn into Patricia Heaton

I'd second that.

to the OP, I think it's kinda bizarre that these friends fall into these 2 distinct categories, single=immature, married=successful. This isn't really how the rest of the world works. Single people often have extremely good jobs/educations, and are very responsible, while married people can be complete deadbeats.

I really don't like how you made this distinction and stereotyped single people like that. I understand if your friends happen to be like that, but the way you said it was like this was very common. There's a very big problem with this attitude in this country. I suggest you read: Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After by Bella DePaulo.

acoustic guy

failedpersephone wrote:

I think i am part of the 1st group...but I have a good job and am doing fine financially...but I don't want marriage or kids...and I like to be silly...I don't act like a fratty-ass or anything - but normally weekends are full of strange-crazy-ness...

and I am one of the reasons the married friends aren't allowed to come out and play by their mom's decree...errr did I write mom. I meant wives.

which reminds me, once girls get rings they lose humor and turn into Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond wife...yeah I googled for her name)

bleeeeck! beware dudes!!! they are TRYING to Mervynize you!!!

You my friend are right on the money!
I call my wife "Raymonds wife" and she gets pissed. I laugh b/c its so similar. I say her mom is like Raymonds mom. So similar is scary.
LOL

comebackwoman

I think I have more than 2 groups...friends from childhood...friends from college...friends I've met through work...and friends I've met elsewhere in my adult life. Most of them have met each other and have a lot in common, but haven't become friends with each other outside of their association with me.

acoustic guy

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I'd second that.

to the OP, I think it's kinda bizarre that these friends fall into these 2 distinct categories, single=immature, married=successful. This isn't really how the rest of the world works. Single people often have extremely good jobs/educations, and are very responsible, while married people can be complete deadbeats.

You'r right but in this case, it just so happens that its this way.Some of the guys have good jobs but they live that single lifestyle.

Wobbie

failedpersephone wrote:

which reminds me, once girls get rings they lose humor and turn into Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond wife...yeah I googled for her name)

Patricia Heaton is HOT!!!!

comebackwoman

I haven't noticed that much difference between married and single friends...my friends that have kids can't go out as often, understandably, but some of my married friends tend to party more than their single friends...sometimes with their partners, sometimes without...especially my friends from college. I guess it depends on the kind of marriage you have.

failedpersephone

imalive wrote:

Patricia Heaton is HOT!!!!

i think not. . . well at least not hot enough to warrant listening to her berate an always wrong sitcom dad...



but I am a girl...so hotness may not be determined from the same brain.

Wobbie

failedpersephone wrote:

i think not. . . well at least not hot enough to warrant listening to her berate an always wrong sitcom dad...



but I am a girl...so hotness may not be determined from the same brain.

I love everyone on that show.....but, I'm getting off topic, aren't I?

Jeremy1012

I have my friends at uni and my friends back home.

Both groups like to party.

FinsburyParkCarrots

I have my musician friends, and my non-musician friends. I try to get them all to mix as much as possible.

Whizbang

comebackgirl wrote:

I haven't noticed that much difference between married and single friends...my friends that have kids can't go out as often, understandably, but some of my married friends tend to party more than their single friends...sometimes with their partners, sometimes without...especially my friends from college. I guess it depends on the kind of marriage you have.

that's very true. I know plenty of married couples who party, either with their spouse or with their friends. As you said, those with kids may not do it as often as say...me... but they still have lives outside the marriage. And having a life outside the marriage (and I don't mean an affair, etc), regardless of kids, is important. You're still an individual with your own interests that don't always mix with your spouse. Time to yourself is important.

PJPixie

I have two groups of friends as well. Well one group of friends (my pearl jam pals) and then the other "friend" who I love too. The other friend is the ALPHA FEMALE and she doesn't have too many friends because of that. Somehow, her and I have become amazing friends and I'm very grateful but sometimes she is tuff to handle/deal with. It has to be all about her but she def has a soft side with me. Tomorrow her and I are spending the WHOLE DAY at the movies. We are going to see all the oscar nominated movies. Tonight I'm hanging out with the GROUP of friends to go see a pearl jam cover band.........GOOD TIMES!! I really am lucky, I have great friends all around!!

GreenTeaDisease

Whizbang wrote:

that's very true. I know plenty of married couples who party, either with their spouse or with their friends. As you said, those with kids may not do it as often as say...me... but they still have lives outside the marriage. And having a life outside the marriage (and I don't mean an affair, etc), regardless of kids, is important. You're still an individual with your own interests that don't always mix with your spouse. Time to yourself is important.

I wish more married people thought like that.

GreenTeaDisease

To answer the question of different groups of friends, I used to have a few different ones. Now I kinda have 2, but one of the groups is scattered all over the country. The ones who are here are my college friends (a large percentage of my good friends from college ended up in MA). we are a bizarre group and probably shouldn't even be hanging out together in the first place! There's only a couple people I ever see on a regular basis.

comebackwoman

Whizbang wrote:

that's very true. I know plenty of married couples who party, either with their spouse or with their friends. As you said, those with kids may not do it as often as say...me... but they still have lives outside the marriage. And having a life outside the marriage (and I don't mean an affair, etc), regardless of kids, is important. You're still an individual with your own interests that don't always mix with your spouse. Time to yourself is important.

I couldn't agree more.

Two of my friends from college love to party and do it pretty much every weekend and all summer long...both single...never been married...ones a pediatrician and one's an ER doc...so yeah...both super responsible...just enjoy having a good time.

Whizbang

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I wish more married people thought like that.

lesson learned in my prior life. But the successful marriages I see are ones where both spouses respect each other's want to succeed and be happy as an individual, not to mention fully support it. My best friend can be a homebody; her and her husband have been married 10 years and have a 4 year old son. She was running her business from home, alone all day...getting too 'hermit' like. Her husband asked me to get her to my barn, hang with horses (she rode as a kid and before they had their son)...he wanted her to have a life outside the house & marriage. She got some barn time under her belt, decided to move her business to leased office space and the two of them are much happier. Marriage is a partnership and shouldn't be some sort of "brainwashing" of the other person to assimilate them into no life outside the confines of couplehood. Just my two cents.

GreenTeaDisease

Whizbang wrote:

lesson learned in my prior life. But the successful marriages I see are ones where both spouses respect each other's want to succeed and be happy as an individual, not to mention fully support it. My best friend can be a homebody; her and her husband have been married 10 years and have a 4 year old son. She was running her business from home, alone all day...getting too 'hermit' like. Her husband asked me to get her to my barn, hang with horses (she rode as a kid and before they had their son)...he wanted her to have a life outside the house & marriage. She got some barn time under her belt, decided to move her business to leased office space and the two of them are much happier. Marriage is a partnership and shouldn't be some sort of "brainwashing" of the other person to assimilate them into no life outside the confines of couplehood. Just my two cents.

my coworker is 33 and is married and has a small kid. one day she said 'I wish I could go out." I was like "why can't you!?!" and she was like, "I'm married and have a kid, I can't go out!" It was a horrible thing to hear! Hell, I know how much she makes, she can afford a babysitter for a saturday night!

Whizbang

oh...and yes, I should stick to topic too.

I really don't have two groups of friends. I have married friends and single friends. I spend time with both. I have respect for the spouses of my married friends. If I'm headed to a show with the wife of a couple, I make sure we're home at a decent hour so he isn't worried we've been in an accident, call if we're late. Has nothing to do with her having to answer to him, just respect for his feelings and my friendship with her. And I do hang with them as a couple too, be it dinner, a show, chill at their house when they don't have a baby sitter.

Whizbang

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

my coworker is 33 and is married and has a small kid. one day she said 'I wish I could go out." I was like "why can't you!?!" and she was like, "I'm married and have a kid, I can't go out!" It was a horrible thing to hear! Hell, I know how makes she makes, she can afford a babysitter for a saturday night!

Without knowing her, I see that a her choice though. She chooses to not make plans, using kids as an excuse.

GreenTeaDisease

Whizbang wrote:

Without knowing her, I see that a her choice though. She chooses to not make plans, using kids as an excuse.

oh no, it wasn't an excuse not make plans with me or anyone else, she was talking hypothetically like, wishing she "could" go out. It was kinda sad.

MattCameronKicksButt

I can't answer this because I've just realised they're all different. My best friend has a kid. She's a very good mother but is quite fun loving and is always on the go. (She's a PJ girl. :cool: ) My other best friend is also a mother but likes to go out partying if she can.
My partners friends (friends trough circumstance) are all attatched but single without kids and are so dull!

I put it down to 'friends that like good music' and 'friends that don't like good music'. They're all nice people though.

GreenTeaDisease

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

I can't answer this because I've just realised they're all different. My best friend has a kid. She's a very good mother but is quite fun loving and is always on the go. (She's a PJ girl. :cool: ) My other best friend is also a mother but likes to go out partying if she can.
My partners friends (friends trough circumstance) are all attatched but single without kids and are so dull!

I put it down to 'friends that like good music' and 'friends that don't like good music'. They're all nice people though.

none of my friends like good music!! it's very annoying!

libragirl

imalive wrote:

Two GROUPS??? I barely have two FRIENDS !

lol....me too...

I have "acquaintances" friends are annoying.

genie

imalive wrote:

Two GROUPS??? I barely have two FRIENDS !

yep, me too, and i'm not being sarcastic here. people are full of shit :cool:

something beautiful gets fucked.

JOEJOEJOE

I have 2 groups of friends.

My childhood friends are mostly married, have kids, spouses and well-paying jobs. None of them go out much, which is understandable.

My newer friends are mostly in the music biz, and are a bit more "fast-lane" then my other friends. They go out almost every night, and most of them are single (I always wonder if they go out because they are lonely/single, or are they single because they spead themselves so thin by never leaving time to do anything "spare-of-the-moment"). It seems like some people need the comfort of having every minute planned so that they don't have to stop and assess their lives!

The music friends have 2 subsets....some go to a zillion gigs, and want to get there hours early to get a good spot. The others would never think of ever buying tickets to a show...its all guest list or nothing!, and they arrive late and leave early!

GreenTeaDisease

JOEJOEJOE wrote:

I have 2 groups of friends.

My childhood friends are mostly married, have kids, spouses and well-paying jobs. None of them go out much, which is understandable.

My newer friends are mostly in the music biz, and are a bit more "fast-lane" then my other friends. They go out almost every night, and most of them are single (I always wonder if they go out because they are lonely/single, or are they single because they spead themselves so thin by never leaving time to do anything "spare-of-the-moment"). It seems like some people need the comfort of having every minute planned so that they don't have to stop and assess their lives!

The music friends have 2 subsets....some go to a zillion gigs, and want to get there hours early to get a good spot. The others would never think of ever buying tickets to a show...its all guest list or nothing!, and they arrive late and leave early!

single doesn't equal lonely, and there's nothing wrong with them ("spreading themselves too thin"). Why do they need to "stop and assess their lives"? and how do you know they haven't? maybe they assessed their lives and loved them! Read the book I cited above.

JOEJOEJOE

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

single doesn't equal lonely, and there's nothing wrong with them ("spreading themselves too thin"). Why do they need to "stop and assess their lives"? and how do you know they haven't? maybe they assessed their lives and loved them! Read the book I cited above.

Didn't know you knew them too!

Quite insightful!

Brain of J.Lo

Uh, I just need to get some friends in the same time zone as me! I just came to the realization lately that I've lived here a year and I don't know anyone outside of my husband's family that I actually like. I think I need to get out more!!