Yeah, and hate to spew another of yours back at you sweetie but he's a fucking tool! :mad: Don't get me started on what I'd like to do to the selfish sob.
He's wrong, in your heart of hearts and in your head you know he's wrong. Selfish, self absorbed and so very, very wrong. This isn't worthy of you cate. He wasn't worthy of you cate.
no. dont do this please. this is difficult enough. i know hes wrong but he feels it isnt. and tis his decision. theres nothing i can do about it. i gave him all my strength and yet twas not enough for him to give himself to me. to give me nothing but negativity. i want him to be well, otherwise all the strength i gave him amounts to nothing. and you know if i believed that, it would truly kill me.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
no. dont do this please. this is difficult enough. i know hes wrong but he feels it isnt. and tis his decision. theres nothing i can do about it. i gave him all my strength and yet twas not enough for him to give himself to me. to give me nothing but negativity. i want him to be well, otherwise all the strength i gave him amounts to nothing. and you know if i believed that, it would truly kill me.
I want him to be well too cate and you know I don't think it was all for nothing. I don't think all that you did was for nothing. It just feels like it right now.
I would notice. I notice when you're not on for a few days and I wonder where you are and how you're doing. I don't know you well, but the pieces that you've shared of yourself I like very much. I know it doesn't mean much...but I definitely would notice.
No. WOW thats a NEW thread. Who do you feel like killing?
Oh, put me in a crowded room, blindfold me, spin me in a couple of circles and whoever I wind up pointing at I will find a reason within 1 minute or so...
Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
Oh, put me in a crowded room, blindfold me, spin me in a couple of circles and whoever I wind up pointing at I will find a reason within 1 minute or so...
I would notice. I notice when you're not on for a few days and I wonder where you are and how you're doing. I don't know you well, but the pieces that you've shared of yourself I like very much. I know it doesn't mean much...but I definitely would notice.
elana, thank you.
i wish i had the strength to leave. the only reason i am still here is i couldnt do that to my children. the thought that one of them would find me repulses me. and that thought tears me apart.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Feeling like killing people and actually killing them are two very different things. I don't like people and people don't like me, however, for you HOOKER, I'd be on my best behaviour.
Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer
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Feeling like killing people and actually killing them are two very different things. I don't like people and people don't like me, however, for you HOOKER, I'd be on my best behaviour.
Thats some good lyric writing right there. How about you grab the mic u sexxxy one. Hooker can be your groupie!!!!
~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
elana, thank you.
i wish i had the strength to leave. the only reason i am still here is i couldnt do that to my children. the thought that one of them would find me repulses me. and that thought tears me apart.
I know they are your life...I love the way you talk about them. It's obvious they are the light of your life. I know it's probably taking a whole lot of strength to hold on. I really hope that you can keep doing it...and that eventually it feels like less of a struggle. You just gotta find ONE reason every day. Just one. You touch people and give them strength when you don't even realize it. I hope someone does the same for you.
elana, thank you.
i wish i had the strength to leave. the only reason i am still here is i couldnt do that to my children. the thought that one of them would find me repulses me. and that thought tears me apart.
I fully support anybody's decision to end their own life. I don't judge them at all. However, I am glad this thought resonates in your brain. A really, really close friend just had their mom commit suicide and all they are left with is unanswered questions and anger.
Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer
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you know i just have to say for those reading who think im an over melodramatic bitch who wants to end her life cause some guy didnt want her. this is not abiut hijm, nor has it ever been about him. i have struggled with my life for so long and when i met him i thought here was someone who i could destroy myself with or who i could draw strength from in order to survive. i didnt realsie that the strength i gave wouldnt be returned, ever. i didnt realise that he was incapable of giving me what i had given him. i loved this man with everything that i had, and i still love him. i have to refill my empty tanks. i have to find somewhere safe where i can do that. he told me i had to do it alone. i thought that was bullshit. i still think thats bullshit. but now, i am alone and i have no choice but to draw on strength i do not have in order to find somewhere i can build my life upon. its not gonna be easy for me, but i will do it. case he has given me no choice. and because now, most importantly, i give myself the choice.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Thats some good lyric writing right there. How about you grab the mic u sexxxy one. Hooker can be your groupie!!!!
Here's some actual lyrics of mine on the subject.
One at a Time
There are days
The breeze stirs
Just enough to remind me
Of its presence
The sun caresses
Our dirty city
With long hot fingers
I love to hate
So I hide myself
In a cave
And there I wait
For my cloudy day
There are days
I no longer
Tolerate the broken bottles
Survey markers
The barbed wires
In our eyes
Stringing up souls
Stringing them up
One at a time
So I hide myself
In a cave
And there I wait
For my cloudy day
There are days
When I forgive
Myself and you because
I know there'll never be
Enough time
Bullets or friends
To get started
Let alone do it right
So I fool myself
I take the bait
I leave the cave
Because I know
She'll wait for me
Oh my cloudy day
Idaho's Premier Outdoor Writer
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
There are days
The breeze stirs
Just enough to remind me
Of its presence
The sun caresses
Our dirty city
With long hot fingers
I love to hate
So I hide myself
In a cave
And there I wait
For my cloudy day
There are days
I no longer
Tolerate the broken bottles
Survey markers
The barbed wires
In our eyes
Stringing up souls
Stringing them up
One at a time
So I hide myself
In a cave
And there I wait
For my cloudy day
There are days
When I forgive
Myself and you because
I know there'll never be
Enough time
Bullets or friends
To get started
Let alone do it right
So I fool myself
I take the bait
I leave the cave
Because I know
She'll wait for me
Oh my cloudy day
Freakin sweet.
~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
you know i just have to say for those reaqing who think im an over melodramatic bitch who wants to end her life cause some guy didnt want her. this is not abiut hijm, nor has it ever been about him. i have struggled with my life for so long and when i met him i thought here was someone who i could destroy myself with or who i could draw strength from in order to survive. i didnt realsie that the strength i gave wouldnt be returned, ever. i didnt realise that he was incapable of giving me what i had given him. i loved this man with everything that i had, and i still love him. i have to refill my empty tanks. i have to find somewhere safe where i can do that. he told me i had to do it alone. i thought that was bullshit. i still think thats bullshit. but now, i am alone and i have no choice but to draw on strength i do not have in order to find somewhere i can build my life upon. its not gonna be easy for me, but i will do it. case he has given me no choice. and because now, most importantly, i give myself the choice.
when you've struggled your whole life and you finally meet someone who seems to "get" you...well there's nothing more painful than feeling like you lost that. Nothing melodramatic about that Cate. That's just real.
you know i just have to say for those reading who think im an over melodramatic bitch who wants to end her life cause some guy didnt want her. this is not abiut hijm, nor has it ever been about him. i have struggled with my life for so long and when i met him i thought here was someone who i could destroy myself with or who i could draw strength from in order to survive. i didnt realsie that the strength i gave wouldnt be returned, ever. i didnt realise that he was incapable of giving me what i had given him. i loved this man with everything that i had, and i still love him. i have to refill my empty tanks. i have to find somewhere safe where i can do that. he told me i had to do it alone. i thought that was bullshit. i still think thats bullshit. but now, i am alone and i have no choice but to draw on strength i do not have in order to find somewhere i can build my life upon. its not gonna be easy for me, but i will do it. case he has given me no choice. and because now, most importantly, i give myself the choice.
i never thought you were melodramatic
as for thread integrity.....hell yea....pretty much my whole life
when you've struggled your whole life and you finally meet someone who seems to "get" you...well there's nothing more painful than feeling like you lost that. Nothing melodramatic about that Cate. That's just real.
but you know elana thats the thing. i dont think he ever got me. in fact i know he didnt. but god damn i got him. totally. i knew all hed been through and i knew how and when to be there for him. and i was. nothing he told em shocked me and i neevr judged him. with everything i had i was there for him. but when i needed him, he wasnt there. for whatever reason he was incapable of being there for me. the reason is irrelevant. he knows what i asked of him and it was nothing more than i gave of myself. i made a huge error in judgement and i feel like fool, though i know i have nothing to feel foolish for, the nothing i received, and the disrespect i now feel, doesnt eleviate(sp?) this feeling.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
you know i just have to say for those reaqing who think im an over melodramatic bitch who wants to end her life cause some guy didnt want her. this is not abiut hijm, nor has it ever been about him. i have struggled with my life for so long and when i met him i thought here was someone who i could destroy myself with or who i could draw strength from in order to survive. i didnt realsie that the strength i gave wouldnt be returned, ever. i didnt realise that he was incapable of giving me what i had given him. i loved this man with everything that i had, and i still love him. i have to refill my empty tanks. i have to find somewhere safe where i can do that. he told me i had to do it alone. i thought that was bullshit. i still think thats bullshit. but now, i am alone and i have no choice but to draw on strength i do not have in order to find somewhere i can build my life upon. its not gonna be easy for me, but i will do it. case he has given me no choice. and because now, most importantly, i give myself the choice.
catester
you're awesome.
raw, honest, intelligent, and the list goes on.
thank god for you and your helping me
with my spelling when i haven't a clue.
isn't it something that when i can't figure
out the correct literal spelling of words
i have to contact someone in Australia?
you have no idea how awesome that makes
me feel that you even bother helping me.
but yet i know it's your passion just as much
as it is mine.
you know i just have to say for those reading who think im an over melodramatic bitch who wants to end her life cause some guy didnt want her. this is not about him, nor has it ever been about him. i have struggled with my life for so long and when i met him i thought here was someone who i could destroy myself with or who i could draw strength from in order to survive. i didn't realise that the strength i gave wouldnt be returned, ever. i didnt realise that he was incapable of giving me what i had given him. i loved this man with everything that i had, and i still love him. i have to refill my empty tanks. i have to find somewhere safe where i can do that. he told me i had to do it alone. i thought that was bullshit. i still think thats bullshit. but now, i am alone and i have no choice but to draw on strength i do not have in order to find somewhere i can build my life upon. its not gonna be easy for me, but i will do it. case he has given me no choice. and because now, most importantly, i give myself the choice.
And an excellent choice you've made girlie.
It's not you that is melodramatic, it's the situation and I wouldn't be worrying too much about what other people think, coz we all know how that goes.
but you know elana thats the thing. i dont think he ever got me. in fact i know he didnt. but god damn i got him. totally. i knew all hed been through and i knew how and when to be there for him. and i was. nothing he told em shocked me and i neevr judged him. with everything i had i was there for him. but when i needed him, he wasnt there. for whatever reason he was incapable of being there for me. the reason is irrelevant. he knows what i asked of him and it was nothing more than i gave of myself. i made a huge error in judgement and i feel like fool, though i know i have nothing to feel foolish for, the nothing i received, and the disrespect i now feel, doesnt eleviate(sp?) this feeling.
There's nothing foolish about seeing the good in people and taking the time to understand them and be there for them. The fact that he couldn't or wouldn't do the same for you says nothing about your worth...cause you definitely deserve the same. I know that doesn't take the pain away...I wish it did. Put the energy and care and love you gave to him into yourself. I'll be back here when you wake. I couldn't PM you, but please send me one if you want
It's not you that is melodramatic, it's the situation and I wouldn't be worrying to much about what other people think, coz we all know how that goes.
well girlie, it doesnt feel like that. no matter how much i wish i could hate him for this i cant. it was a fucked up situ and when both parties arent in agreeance on what is required to fix it, then youre pretty much dead in the water. fact is he didnt want me. to him i wasnt worth the effort required and i am gonna have to suck that up. the expectations i had were high but i never thought they were too high to be overcome. more fool me, eh?
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
yes and im gladd u were in that post!!!
im going with YOU so we can play musical tables with lizard!!! And of course to talk to Matt....
HA. That place is like a restaurant. I dont think lizard is going. She found out it was a Bikini Bar... this means I must wear my bikini. Im sure the guys from DF are gonna LOVE being there. Yes?
Comments
no. dont do this please. this is difficult enough. i know hes wrong but he feels it isnt. and tis his decision. theres nothing i can do about it. i gave him all my strength and yet twas not enough for him to give himself to me. to give me nothing but negativity. i want him to be well, otherwise all the strength i gave him amounts to nothing. and you know if i believed that, it would truly kill me.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I want him to be well too cate and you know I don't think it was all for nothing. I don't think all that you did was for nothing. It just feels like it right now.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Oh, put me in a crowded room, blindfold me, spin me in a couple of circles and whoever I wind up pointing at I will find a reason within 1 minute or so...
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696
http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
WOULD YOU KILL ME?
elana, thank you.
i wish i had the strength to leave. the only reason i am still here is i couldnt do that to my children. the thought that one of them would find me repulses me. and that thought tears me apart.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Feeling like killing people and actually killing them are two very different things. I don't like people and people don't like me, however, for you HOOKER, I'd be on my best behaviour.
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696
http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
I fully support anybody's decision to end their own life. I don't judge them at all. However, I am glad this thought resonates in your brain. A really, really close friend just had their mom commit suicide and all they are left with is unanswered questions and anger.
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696
http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Here's some actual lyrics of mine on the subject.
One at a Time
There are days
The breeze stirs
Just enough to remind me
Of its presence
The sun caresses
Our dirty city
With long hot fingers
I love to hate
So I hide myself
In a cave
And there I wait
For my cloudy day
There are days
I no longer
Tolerate the broken bottles
Survey markers
The barbed wires
In our eyes
Stringing up souls
Stringing them up
One at a time
So I hide myself
In a cave
And there I wait
For my cloudy day
There are days
When I forgive
Myself and you because
I know there'll never be
Enough time
Bullets or friends
To get started
Let alone do it right
So I fool myself
I take the bait
I leave the cave
Because I know
She'll wait for me
Oh my cloudy day
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696
http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
Ha Ha. Yeah, I need to move to the next band.
i never thought you were melodramatic
as for thread integrity.....hell yea....pretty much my whole life
but you know elana thats the thing. i dont think he ever got me. in fact i know he didnt. but god damn i got him. totally. i knew all hed been through and i knew how and when to be there for him. and i was. nothing he told em shocked me and i neevr judged him. with everything i had i was there for him. but when i needed him, he wasnt there. for whatever reason he was incapable of being there for me. the reason is irrelevant. he knows what i asked of him and it was nothing more than i gave of myself. i made a huge error in judgement and i feel like fool, though i know i have nothing to feel foolish for, the nothing i received, and the disrespect i now feel, doesnt eleviate(sp?) this feeling.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
We are accepting resumes and kind of hoping the brazilian sync swim team applies.
Please Support My Writing Habit By Purchasing A Book:
https://www.createspace.com/3437020
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000663025696
http://earthtremors.blogspot.com/
Yeah you see I can speak of other things other than sex.
catester
you're awesome.
raw, honest, intelligent, and the list goes on.
thank god for you and your helping me
with my spelling when i haven't a clue.
isn't it something that when i can't figure
out the correct literal spelling of words
i have to contact someone in Australia?
you have no idea how awesome that makes
me feel that you even bother helping me.
but yet i know it's your passion just as much
as it is mine.
you're driven by writing just as much as I am.
and for that I love ya.
"Hear me, my chiefs!
I am tired; my heart is
sick and sad. From where
the sun stands I will fight
no more forever."
Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
And an excellent choice you've made girlie.
It's not you that is melodramatic, it's the situation and I wouldn't be worrying too much about what other people think, coz we all know how that goes.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
So are you going to the DIRTY FRANK show on saturday?????
Seriously,
Thanks so much. Made it to lunch time.
haha. You can always PM me next time you feel blue
well girlie, it doesnt feel like that. no matter how much i wish i could hate him for this i cant. it was a fucked up situ and when both parties arent in agreeance on what is required to fix it, then youre pretty much dead in the water. fact is he didnt want me. to him i wasnt worth the effort required and i am gonna have to suck that up. the expectations i had were high but i never thought they were too high to be overcome. more fool me, eh?
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
im going with YOU so we can play musical tables with lizard!!! And of course to talk to Matt....
Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!
"Pearl Jam fans are obsessed, they'd see the boys in HELL if tickets were sold."-CROJAM95
It takes balls to put out a UKE album!
HA. That place is like a restaurant. I dont think lizard is going. She found out it was a Bikini Bar... this means I must wear my bikini. Im sure the guys from DF are gonna LOVE being there. Yes?