there I go!! off to the nuthouse with me... (no joke...)

Davanita
Davanita Posts: 854
edited May 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Dear fellow Jammers,

Some of you know about my situation; the fact that I broke down about 14 months ago and have been stuck at home eversince. In the past year I've had different forms of therapy but none of it really seemed to do the job on getting me back on track and back into the world. Since early February this year I've been going back and forth to an institution with appointments, long talks and phonecalls to get myself committed. Last Thursday, I finally received *the phonecall* I was waiting for: the big solution.
It's going to happen. Tuesday May 6th I'm going in. It's a 5-days-a-week thing, I'll be home on the weekends. Initially it will be for a period of 3 months, but they've already told me they don't think that will be enough for me... It could actually take up to a year.
I'll have to follow different forms of group-therapy daily (namely; creative therapy, drama-therapy, assertiveness training, and one more by choice) and individual therapy once a week. There's a total of 24 people, devided into three groups of 8. I'll have my own room (thank goodness...) and it's an open institution, so in my free time I can go out for a walk or whatever if I feel like it.
I'm nervous as fuck but at the same time I'm excited to finally go and DO SOMETHING! I've had it up to *here* with just sitting in my room, unable to go anywhere because I have this damn anxiety disorder and am unable to deal with my existence as an HSP in this chaotic world... :(
(for anyone unfamiliar with HSP, go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highly_sensitive_person.) Also, for the cynics among you; it's not a *theory*, it's a fact. And I'm not the only one who suffers from it, not by a long shot.... But it is still a somewhat unchartered territory and HSP's are still, too often, not taken seriously by the masses, but instead are seen as whiny, soft, emotional people. (all of which, as my friends know, I am not) I simply cannot handle large crowds, loud noises and bright lights... I cannot do the things most people consider to be the most normal things in the world - go to rock concerts (f*ck!), big malls, amusement parks, etc. This is the story of my life, I've always had this and always bottled it up inside until I fucking crashed... and burned. And I'm not able to fix myself up this time.

I need help, and now I'm finally going to get it!
So that's it... 8 days from now I'm going to take the biggest step in my life so far. All the people I know and love have been tremendously supportive, and I appreciate it so much! :)

It's the little things at home I'll miss the most... Watching Pearl Jam dvd's... spinning LP's... the inside jokes with my mom...
I'm going to take as much personal belongings with me as possible, try to create a little home away from home.. :)

Please don't hesitate to ask me questions, or just wish me a "bon voyage"! ;) I'll still be here all week! (and during weekends... hehe)

I love you guys! I'm taking all my friends with me in my heart... :)


hugs, kisses and PJ tunes,
Dorian
Jon Stewart: "[about Russia's new president]...Dmitri Medevvvevv.... Dmitri Meh..... Dmitri M.! Or... as George W. Bush would probably pronounce it... Eddie Vedder."
__________________________________
http://www.myspace.com/pearl_jamn_it
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    'Which one of you nuts has got any guts?' - R. P. McMurphy

    Good luck to ya, congratulations for doing what you need to do. :)
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Fifthelement
    Fifthelement Lotusland Posts: 6,965
    Best of luck to you. I hope that this will provide you with the assistance that you need.

    Pax
    "What the CANUCK happened?!? - Esquimalt Barber Shop
  • Davanita
    Davanita Posts: 854
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    'Which one of you nuts has got any guts?' - R. P. McMurphy

    ooohh that's brilliant!! i'm gonna get that printed on a t-shirt and wear it over there :D


    thanks guys for the support! :)
    Jon Stewart: "[about Russia's new president]...Dmitri Medevvvevv.... Dmitri Meh..... Dmitri M.! Or... as George W. Bush would probably pronounce it... Eddie Vedder."
    __________________________________
    http://www.myspace.com/pearl_jamn_it
  • iluvcats
    iluvcats Posts: 5,153
    I'm really happy for you because you are strong enough to realize that you need help. You are not in denial and that's good, in my opinion.

    And don't call it a nuthouse!

    Be safe. Good luck.
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • chiquimonkey
    chiquimonkey Posts: 9,337
    good luck! i hope it all works out for you and you find the happiness and peace you deserve :)
  • urbanhippie
    urbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    Good luck on your new journey :)
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • Davanita
    Davanita Posts: 854
    thanks everyone... really! :)

    Pearl Jam fans are awesome! :D wonderful people here.


    oh... here's a sneak preview of what that t-shirt is going to look like... i already ordered it ;) (lettering will be better on the actual shirt...)

    http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b93/Lizardhands/bullshite/nuts.jpg
    Jon Stewart: "[about Russia's new president]...Dmitri Medevvvevv.... Dmitri Meh..... Dmitri M.! Or... as George W. Bush would probably pronounce it... Eddie Vedder."
    __________________________________
    http://www.myspace.com/pearl_jamn_it
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Davanita wrote:
    thanks everyone... really! :)

    Pearl Jam fans are awesome! :D wonderful people here.


    oh... here's a sneak preview of what that t-shirt is going to look like... i already ordered it ;) (lettering will be better on the actual shirt...)

    http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b93/Lizardhands/bullshite/nuts.jpg

    That fucking rocks.. It beats putting it on your sig, that's for sure ;)
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • olderman
    olderman Posts: 1,765
    Positive vibes from Kansas

    When all is done, we hope to see you at a Pearl Jam show!

    Best of luck,

    Jess
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • comebackwoman
    comebackwoman Posts: 7,271
    Good luck :) I hope this experience brings you peace
    There's a light when my baby's in my arms :)
  • LONGRD
    LONGRD Posts: 6,036
    best wishes to you and hope you'll see PJ in person.
    PJ- 04/29/2003.06/24,25,27,28,30/2008.10/27,28,30,31/2009
    EV- 08/09,10/2008.06/08,09/2009
  • josevolution
    josevolution Posts: 31,814
    really i wish you all the best and may you find peace soon .....
    jesus greets me looks just like me ....
  • Heineken Helen
    Heineken Helen Posts: 18,095
    Ah wow... I don't think I've chatted much to you and didn't know much about your situation. But best of luck and I really hope this is exactly what you've been waiting for! Go get yourself sorted :)
    The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
    Verona??? it's all surmountable
    Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
    Wembley? We all believe!
    Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
    Chicago 07? And love
    What a different life
    Had I not found this love with you
  • Brisk.
    Brisk. Posts: 11,581
    Heineken Helen wrote:
    Ah wow... I don't think I've chatted much to you and didn't know much about your situation. But best of luck and I really hope this is exactly what you've been waiting for! Go get yourself sorted :)

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    Post machine
  • Steve Dunne
    Steve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    hey dorian - keep smilin' over there! sending good vibes from america...
    I love to turn you on
  • Zanne
    Zanne Posts: 899
    We always referred to it as "The Laughing Academy". Although I'm sure I've narrowly escaped it a few times in my life, my father and my son have both actually spent time in one. I don't know how much laughing they did on the inside, but they sure were smiling when they got out. They didn't have open "borders" and weekends off, either.

    Peace
    Just me
  • lgt
    lgt Posts: 720
    Best wishes and super-strength positive vibes Dorian!

    It is such a brave thing to be doing. Well done for taking such a step to make yourself feel better!

    Keep it up, and keep us posted! :)
  • PureandEasy
    PureandEasy Posts: 5,818
    Best of luck to you and bravo for recognizing that you need help. It is the first step.
    Don't come closer or I'll have to go
  • Gremmie95
    Gremmie95 Posts: 749
    best wishes and best of luck!
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    My thoughts are with you, I hope you get some solace to your situation.

    *hugs*
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.

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