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deep thoughts, by jack handey

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  • nfanelnfanel Posts: 2,558
    cutback wrote:
    i once climbed using nitrous....but i never left camp...;) :p:D
    ha! i bet you were laughing and laughing (as with the inquisitive kids) then, too. :D
  • drivingrldrivingrl Posts: 1,448
    nocode23 wrote:
    If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.

    This is the best Deep Thought, hands down.
    drivingrl: "Will I ever get to meet Gwen Stefani?"
    kevinbeetle: "Yes. When her career washes up and her and Gavin move to Galveston, you will meet her at Hot Topic shopping for a Japanese cheerleader outfit.

    Next!"
  • Rhinocerous SurpriseRhinocerous Surprise Posts: 4,423
    If you're ever on a plane that's going to crash, see if you can't organise a thing of group sex, because, come on you squares! - Jack Handey
    Smokey Robinson constantly looks like he's trying to act natural after being accused of farting.
  • myhookmyhook Posts: 284
    sweet adeline wrote:
    It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
    This one is my favorite. HA
    Hey, you wouldn't hire a clown to fix a leak in the jon so why do you let these hooligans tear down the biz? YEEAAHHH. I don't care if he is Mr. Notorious BIG, can he croon?
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Basically, it's made up of two separate words — "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
    J.Handey
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
  • SilverSeedSilverSeed Posts: 336
    "Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you."

    This is my favorite. It might even get into the sig...

    Edit: Oh yeah, it would contrast nicely with the current sig.
    When Jesus said "Love your enemies" he probably didn't mean kill them...

    "Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you." -Deep Toughts, Jack Handy
  • sweet adelinesweet adeline Posts: 2,191
    The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

    –Jack Handey
  • markymark550markymark550 Columbia, SC Posts: 5,172
    Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again.

    -Jack Handey
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting


    To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.”
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • CosmoCosmo Posts: 12,225
    "We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off to go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening, when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town."
    j.handey
    Allen Fieldhouse, home of the 2008 NCAA men's Basketball Champions! Go Jayhawks!
    Hail, Hail!!!
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