how i choose to feel is how i am

norm

maybe i'm looking at this too simplistically after reading the responses....but "how i choose to feel, is how I am" -- i'm feeling down so that's how i am right now.....i'm feeling good so that's how i am right now.......i don't think it's a mantra to always feel good but to accept your feelings and learn from them....if i'm down, why am i down and can i change the pattern in the future.....or i'm feeling pretty good...let's try and keep these feelings going.....:)

i hope that made sense....i've got a cold and my brain is fuzzy....:o

GreenTeaDisease

urbanhippie wrote:

I find it hard to believe that anyone CHOOSES to be or feel unhappy.
Maybe a positive outlook can help you to feel more philosophical about the bad things that happen, I'm not sure...
I have always been a very positive, optimistic person, so when the depression hit me it was like a bolt from the blue.
I do not choose to feel like this and I hope it doesn't last long, but feel it I do.
If I could think it away I would, believe me.

this is an excellent point as well. Emotions are biochemical as well. I know that no matter what I do I'm not gonna be too happy the week before my period. but that's not my choice, that's my seratonin reuptake getting all screwed up by the progesterone changes.

decides2dream

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

hahaha well I don't really buy that either. good or bad stuff is going to happen and I don't think there's shit we can do about it but you can "feel" or react to that stuff anyway you chose to.

THIS is what i am talking about, and what i think the song lyric is about. it's not some 'secret' as to how make life go your way....or that everything in life is sunny and rosey. i thought i made that clear in the frst post. that no matter WHAT...the good shite or the bad shite....is is your PERSPECTIVE that makes all the difference.


and yes, i know there are people who suffer from depression, and truly clinical depression that requires meds to reach equilibrium and such is a whole other matter. i am simply discussing otherwise healthy individuals making the CHOICE to think/feel as they wish.....no matter what external Bs is going on in their lives.


i have read a few times over that really financiall well-off people report no more/better/higher sense of *happiness* than other people of lower socioeconomic status and the like. it's also like those who sufffer a debilitating illness/tragedy....and yet are so happy/thankful/opptomistic. if no one else 'deserves' to be unhappy, pissed off at the world, etc...i don't knw who does. i am sure they are, at first....but the healthy minds amongst them realize, what does it serve? why CHOOSE to be miserable?


btw - i am not saying i have this all down. i can rant and rail against the world and be a miserable shite with the best of em....but i really, really TRY to be 'self-aware' enough to realize that beyond the oncontrollabe shite in life, it really IS 'how i choose to feel'......and why not choose to feel GOOD?

edit -

cutback wrote:

maybe i'm looking at this too simplistically after reading the responses....but "how i choose to feel, is how I am" -- i'm feeling down so that's how i am right now.....i'm feeling good so that's how i am right now.......i don't think it's a mantra to always feel good but to accept your feelings and learn from them....if i'm down, why am i down and can i change the pattern in the future.....or i'm feeling pretty good...let's try and keep these feelings going.....:)

i hope that made sense....i've got a cold and my brain is fuzzy....:o

and yes, exactly. own our feelings/responses...learn from em, embrace em, move on.....:)

Slip Kid

that's not what you'll be saying when things get shitty now is it?

decides2dream

Slip Kid wrote:

that's not what you'll be saying when things get shitty now is it?

that EXACT type of thinking is what helped me get thru some truly SHITTY shite these past couple years, and some horrible times in my past... so yes as a matter of fact...that is exactly what i would say/think/do. i allow myself to wallow, rage, whatever...but then yea...realize....HOW i feel and how i react, is up to ME.

Local Crew

yes

Slip Kid

decides2dream wrote:

that EXACT type of thinking is what helped me get thru some truly SHITTY shite these past couple years, and some horrible times in my past... so yes as a matter of fact...that is exactly what i would say/think/do. i allow myself to wallow, rage, whatever...but then yea...realize....HOW i feel and how i react, is up to ME.

I can't believe it but I concur.

Sure one can choose to wallow in self pity but for the most part a situation that turns into a bad situation is most often not the persons fault.

One can only choose his or hers' actions and deal with it in a manner that resolves are gains closure

But beating the shit out of something feels good too

sennin

I could use a 'how to' lesson.

chiquimonkey

cutback wrote:

maybe i'm looking at this too simplistically after reading the responses....but "how i choose to feel, is how I am" -- i'm feeling down so that's how i am right now.....i'm feeling good so that's how i am right now.......i don't think it's a mantra to always feel good but to accept your feelings and learn from them....if i'm down, why am i down and can i change the pattern in the future.....or i'm feeling pretty good...let's try and keep these feelings going.....:)

i hope that made sense....i've got a cold and my brain is fuzzy....:o

that's how i see it too. sometimes you can't help the way you feel...to try to deny it does no good, and even with a plethora of perspective...it can still be hard. gotta stay true to yourself and let yourself feel thru whatever is happening, and keep perspective as best as one can.

decides2dream

Slip Kid wrote:

I can't believe it but I concur.

Sure one can choose to wallow in self pity but for the most part a situation that turns into a bad situation is most often not the persons fault.

One can only choose his or hers' actions and deal with it in a manner that resolves are gains closure

But beating the shit out of something feels good too

believe what you want.


and who mentioned 'fault'......? again, i am not discussing whatever shite comes your way in life.....so much we have no control over. what we do have control over is our reaction/our outlook....our perspective. and, even in pretty shite circumstance at times....it IS still possible to see there's still so much good in your life or what have you. seriously, for me, if i did not think like that...there are plenty of things/situations/people i would've given up on....but held on b/c i KNEW 'this too shall pass' and i knew the situation/person was worth it.....and it really IS up to ME to make my own happiness.


and absolutely, sometimes it feels GREAT to beat the shit out of an inanimate object, break something, scream..............why does one think i am not including that in it? as i said, i don't think this statement and/or life mantra is some happy/rosy/sunshiny perspective that ignores reality and the negatives that happen in life. it's just taking it ALL, the good AND the bad......finding your way, and yes, CHOOSING how you will think/feel/react and OWNING it, learn from it and choose your best path.


how i CHOOSE
to feel
IS
how i AM



thank you mr. mike mccready!
i think more than anything it truly points out the importance of being self-aware...and definitely not an easy task at all times.


anyhooo...i like reading everyone's thoughts/responses! besides, i am choosing to feel utter JOY in the fact of...one more day of work.....christmas party!.....then 6 whole days off, parties, food, drink, christmas! not difficult to choose to feel HAPPY about that.

soulsinging

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

I don't believe that either. I especially disagree with the notion that we bring all negative experiences/occurrances into our lives. One of the "experts" somehow connected with The Secret was on Larry King on or around the same day that a pedophile was sentenced (or convicted) for the death of an 11 yr old girl in FL. He was asked if the murdered child had brought about her own demise, and without just answering "yes", he reitterated the idea that we bring everything, both positive and negative, into our lives ourselves... So he essentially said yes, that she was responsible for her own murder. It was absolutely disgusting. (And no, I don't watch Larry King. I saw this on a program that was criticizing the secret. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea...lol. )

well she shouldn't have gone out of the house looking so hot!

i think that secret stuff is crap. i tried to read the 4 agreements once too and had to give it up. if i could've tossed the damn thing out the plane window i would have. all this magical i think and bring good stuff nonsense is bullshit. i can sacrifice 2 virgins and good crap will happen too, so fuck you.

life is shit and then you die. however, if you learn to let it roll of your back, it's a little less shit.

MattCameronKicksButt

I agree with the thread starter. I believe life is what you make it.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Totally a choice. Everyone will always feel happy sometimes, and sad sometimes...but you can learn from your sad experiences and start avoiding them more and more.

Jeanie

Yeah, :rolleyes: all those pesky manic depressives CHOOSING to live shit lives. I mean serves em right I say! :rolleyes:

MattCameronKicksButt

Jeanie wrote:

Yeah, :rolleyes: all those pesky manic depressives CHOOSING to live shit lives. I mean serves em right I say! :rolleyes:

(I meant) people that are well.

PJaddicted

Choice it is D2D....you can go with the sadness or you can pull yourself up and choose life and live every moment to the fullest. Not that I do that

oxc

lalalalaaaaaaaa

Jeanie wrote:

Yeah, :rolleyes: all those pesky manic depressives CHOOSING to live shit lives. I mean serves em right I say! :rolleyes:

but check it out...I know people who are not manic depressive who are 10 times more miserable than other people I know who ARE manic depressive. Just because you're diagnosed w/ it doesn't automatically make you unhappy all the time.

Jeanie

MattCameronKicksButt wrote:

(I meant) people that are well.

Yeah, it's probably just me. I confess I find that particular lyric really difficult. EVEN when things are good and I hear it I find it difficult.

Perhaps it would be better if it was "How I feel is how I am?"

Jeanie

Saturnal wrote:

but check it out...I know people who are not manic depressive who are 10 times more miserable than other people I know who ARE manic depressive. Just because you're diagnosed w/ it doesn't automatically make you unhappy all the time.

I'm not saying that it does. Simply that this business of CHOICE is a convuluted one at best. I'm quite sure that all chemicals in the brain and body being normal and healthy NO ONE would CHOOSE to be miserable but people learn behaviours and they respond to stimuli, either external or internal. The idea that we are "choosing" is what I have the problem with.
Anyway, I have to stop now, because I think I'm starting to sound like Ahnimus and I've got a real sinking feeling I'm dabbling in determinism and free will!! :eek:

soulsinging

Jeanie wrote:

Yeah, it's probably just me. I confess I find that particular lyric really difficult. EVEN when things are good and I hear it I find it difficult.

Perhaps it would be better if it was "How I feel is how I am?"

doesn't the lyric say "I"... like as in "mike mccready man who wrote the song"? isn't it about his struggles with addiction and alcoholism? why take it so personal?