how i choose to feel is how i am

decides2dream

do you believe it?



i find myself quoting that mccready line so often, and i definitely believe it to be true. i fully believe happiness is a choice, when life throws you lemons make lemonade, etc....and all those other good cliches. seriously though....i really do believe that no matter what, it's your choice, your perspective...that makes ALL the difference. no matter how fantastic or utterly shiity life may be at any given moment, it is your perspective that helps you fully embrace/enjoy the good times......and perservere and work thru the bad.



thoughts?

SENROCK

absolutely. its a CHOICE. just like peer pressure, there is NO SUCH THING cuz u have a CHOICE! if more people believed this.....there would be alot more happiness around!!!

josevolution

mind over matter no ?? ...

i agree with your assesment ....

GreenTeaDisease

I think you can chose to *feel* anyway you want to, but I don't believe all that "the secret" nonsense that if think something good will happen to you it will.

audiodave

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I think you can chose to *feel* anyway you want to, but I don't believe all that "the secret" nonsense that if think something good will happen to you it will.

That does NOT work! :rolleyes::p

Wish it did though.

I agree to a certain extent, but not completely. I think. I'm going to think about this...

GreenTeaDisease

personally, I like being neutral.

NY PJ1

i like choclate more....

Brain of J.Lo

decides2dream wrote:

do you believe it?



i find myself quoting that mccready line so often, and i definitely believe it to be true. i fully believe happiness is a choice, when life throws you lemons make lemonade, etc....and all those other good cliches. seriously though....i really do believe that no matter what, it's your choice, your perspective...that makes ALL the difference. no matter how fantastic or utterly shiity life may be at any given moment, it is your perspective that helps you fully embrace/enjoy the good times......and perservere and work thru the bad.



thoughts?

In some ways, yes. I absolutely believe it. My grandma was the living example of this. Obviously, there are some things out of our control...but I think outlook can have a huge impact on the trajectory of our happiness, our health and our lives in general.

justam

The words used for this idea seem incomplete to me although I understand what he's trying to say.

I think he means you can choose to respond to how you feel and then CHANGE how you feel by your choice...but that wouldn't sound as nice in a song...

Oh, and yeah, I like the idea.

SENROCK

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I think you can chose to *feel* anyway you want to, but I don't believe all that "the secret" nonsense that if think something good will happen to you it will.

thats the problem.....you DONT believe.

GreenTeaDisease

SENROCK! wrote:

thats the problem.....you DONT believe.

well I had this fitness book that said you have to mediate every day and envision yourself having great work outs and being fit. I did it just like it said for months and it just made me more nervous about my workouts and they got worse.

Brain of J.Lo

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

I think you can chose to *feel* anyway you want to, but I don't believe all that "the secret" nonsense that if think something good will happen to you it will.

I don't believe that either. I especially disagree with the notion that we bring all negative experiences/occurrances into our lives. One of the "experts" somehow connected with The Secret was on Larry King on or around the same day that a pedophile was sentenced (or convicted) for the death of an 11 yr old girl in FL. He was asked if the murdered child had brought about her own demise, and without just answering "yes", he reitterated the idea that we bring everything, both positive and negative, into our lives ourselves... So he essentially said yes, that she was responsible for her own murder. It was absolutely disgusting. (And no, I don't watch Larry King. I saw this on a program that was criticizing the secret. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea...lol. )

Brain of J.Lo

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

well I had this fitness book that said you have to mediate every day and envision yourself having great work outs and being fit. I did it just like it said for months and it just made me more nervous about my workouts and they got worse.

lol, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets nervous while meditating.

I'm just a ball of nerves sometimes, I swear.

SENROCK

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

well I had this fitness book that said you have to mediate every day and envision yourself having great work outs and being fit. I did it just like it said for months and it just made me more nervous about my workouts and they got worse.

hahaha ohhhhhhh you mean in THAT sense! ok ok i get it. i meant for things in general. you know, THINK POSITIVE and KEEP BELIEVING cuz it WILL happen. Those kinds of things. I wouldnt say it if it werent true. Trust me, after stuff ive faced this year, its a MIRACLE im even semi arguing this topic for the better!

Jeanie

Yeah, used to be that I believed that d2d but depression and illness are complex biological processes in the human body, so I don't believe that people deliberately CHOOSE to be unhappy. I think that sometimes that's just what happens to them and no amount of wishing/choosing to be happy is going to change that. Sure "how I choose to be is how I am" is a fantastic lyric and something we should all strive to achieve in positive terms but I don't think it's as simple as choosing all the time and quite frankly, exhausting to even try if your body/mind is working against happiness.

SENROCK

Brain of J.Lo wrote:

I don't believe that either. I especially disagree with the notion that we bring all negative experiences/occurrances into our lives. One of the "experts" somehow connected with The Secret was on Larry King on or around the same day that a pedophile was sentenced (or convicted) for the death of an 11 yr old girl in FL. He was asked if the murdered child had brought about her own demise, and without just answering "yes", he reitterated the idea that we bring everything, both positive and negative, into our lives ourselves... So he essentially said yes, that she was responsible for her own murder. It was absolutely disgusting. (And no, I don't watch Larry King. I saw this on a program that was criticizing the secret. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea...lol. )

:eek: you watch larry king??????? jk. the only time i watched him was a few months ago when KID ROCK was on there lookin freakin HOTTTTT!!!!! carry on....

GreenTeaDisease

SENROCK! wrote:

hahaha ohhhhhhh you mean in THAT sense! ok ok i get it. i meant for things in general. you know, THINK POSITIVE and KEEP BELIEVING cuz it WILL happen. Those kinds of things. I wouldnt say it if it werent true. Trust me, after stuff ive faced this year, its a MIRACLE im even semi arguing this topic for the better!

hahaha well I don't really buy that either. good or bad stuff is going to happen and I don't think there's shit we can do about it but you can "feel" or react to that stuff anyway you chose to.

audiodave

Ok. I think this is true to a certain extent. If you have a more positive outlook on life, then I think you will be happier than a person (in identical circumstances) who has a more negative attitude in life. Doesn't mean one person is right or wrong...the optimist may be called delusional and the pessemist may like to call themselves more of a "realist" (I use that one a lot ). BUT...I think there is a certain level of happiness that cannot be attained by merely THINKING you're happy. You know what i'm talking about...when you're at you're happiest...there's an underlying reason...some reason that you can't attain that most of the time.

Also, I think there are certain emotions that take more control of you than others. Such as anger, jealousy, sadness (real sadness)...these are things you can't really think away. To me at least.

rearviewmiror

I think the sentiment is true, but not always applicable.

When a woman breaks your heart you're not choosing to feel that pain. When someone passes away, you'd probably rather not be depressed. Now it is a choice on how you deal with it and where you want it to take you, but I have been listening to this a lot recently and taking it too literally.

romybian

Where someone sees a smile,
Someone else can see tears,
It all deppends on how you look,
And what you really want to see.
If you don't put your head up,
You'll miss the sunset and the stars,
But that crack in the floor
Will fill like it's a reflection of your life.
Reality is not a fact,
The fact is we're born and will die.
What we do in between,
Only we can decide.

urbanhippie

I find it hard to believe that anyone CHOOSES to be or feel unhappy.
Maybe a positive outlook can help you to feel more philosophical about the bad things that happen, I'm not sure...
I have always been a very positive, optimistic person, so when the depression hit me it was like a bolt from the blue.
I do not choose to feel like this and I hope it doesn't last long, but feel it I do.
If I could think it away I would, believe me.

norm

maybe i'm looking at this too simplistically after reading the responses....but "how i choose to feel, is how I am" -- i'm feeling down so that's how i am right now.....i'm feeling good so that's how i am right now.......i don't think it's a mantra to always feel good but to accept your feelings and learn from them....if i'm down, why am i down and can i change the pattern in the future.....or i'm feeling pretty good...let's try and keep these feelings going.....:)

i hope that made sense....i've got a cold and my brain is fuzzy....:o

GreenTeaDisease

urbanhippie wrote:

I find it hard to believe that anyone CHOOSES to be or feel unhappy.
Maybe a positive outlook can help you to feel more philosophical about the bad things that happen, I'm not sure...
I have always been a very positive, optimistic person, so when the depression hit me it was like a bolt from the blue.
I do not choose to feel like this and I hope it doesn't last long, but feel it I do.
If I could think it away I would, believe me.

this is an excellent point as well. Emotions are biochemical as well. I know that no matter what I do I'm not gonna be too happy the week before my period. but that's not my choice, that's my seratonin reuptake getting all screwed up by the progesterone changes.

decides2dream

GreenTeaDisease wrote:

hahaha well I don't really buy that either. good or bad stuff is going to happen and I don't think there's shit we can do about it but you can "feel" or react to that stuff anyway you chose to.

THIS is what i am talking about, and what i think the song lyric is about. it's not some 'secret' as to how make life go your way....or that everything in life is sunny and rosey. i thought i made that clear in the frst post. that no matter WHAT...the good shite or the bad shite....is is your PERSPECTIVE that makes all the difference.


and yes, i know there are people who suffer from depression, and truly clinical depression that requires meds to reach equilibrium and such is a whole other matter. i am simply discussing otherwise healthy individuals making the CHOICE to think/feel as they wish.....no matter what external Bs is going on in their lives.


i have read a few times over that really financiall well-off people report no more/better/higher sense of *happiness* than other people of lower socioeconomic status and the like. it's also like those who sufffer a debilitating illness/tragedy....and yet are so happy/thankful/opptomistic. if no one else 'deserves' to be unhappy, pissed off at the world, etc...i don't knw who does. i am sure they are, at first....but the healthy minds amongst them realize, what does it serve? why CHOOSE to be miserable?


btw - i am not saying i have this all down. i can rant and rail against the world and be a miserable shite with the best of em....but i really, really TRY to be 'self-aware' enough to realize that beyond the oncontrollabe shite in life, it really IS 'how i choose to feel'......and why not choose to feel GOOD?

edit -

cutback wrote:

maybe i'm looking at this too simplistically after reading the responses....but "how i choose to feel, is how I am" -- i'm feeling down so that's how i am right now.....i'm feeling good so that's how i am right now.......i don't think it's a mantra to always feel good but to accept your feelings and learn from them....if i'm down, why am i down and can i change the pattern in the future.....or i'm feeling pretty good...let's try and keep these feelings going.....:)

i hope that made sense....i've got a cold and my brain is fuzzy....:o

and yes, exactly. own our feelings/responses...learn from em, embrace em, move on.....:)

Slip Kid

that's not what you'll be saying when things get shitty now is it?

decides2dream

Slip Kid wrote:

that's not what you'll be saying when things get shitty now is it?

that EXACT type of thinking is what helped me get thru some truly SHITTY shite these past couple years, and some horrible times in my past... so yes as a matter of fact...that is exactly what i would say/think/do. i allow myself to wallow, rage, whatever...but then yea...realize....HOW i feel and how i react, is up to ME.

Local Crew

yes

Slip Kid

decides2dream wrote:

that EXACT type of thinking is what helped me get thru some truly SHITTY shite these past couple years, and some horrible times in my past... so yes as a matter of fact...that is exactly what i would say/think/do. i allow myself to wallow, rage, whatever...but then yea...realize....HOW i feel and how i react, is up to ME.

I can't believe it but I concur.

Sure one can choose to wallow in self pity but for the most part a situation that turns into a bad situation is most often not the persons fault.

One can only choose his or hers' actions and deal with it in a manner that resolves are gains closure

But beating the shit out of something feels good too

sennin

I could use a 'how to' lesson.

chiquimonkey

cutback wrote:

maybe i'm looking at this too simplistically after reading the responses....but "how i choose to feel, is how I am" -- i'm feeling down so that's how i am right now.....i'm feeling good so that's how i am right now.......i don't think it's a mantra to always feel good but to accept your feelings and learn from them....if i'm down, why am i down and can i change the pattern in the future.....or i'm feeling pretty good...let's try and keep these feelings going.....:)

i hope that made sense....i've got a cold and my brain is fuzzy....:o

that's how i see it too. sometimes you can't help the way you feel...to try to deny it does no good, and even with a plethora of perspective...it can still be hard. gotta stay true to yourself and let yourself feel thru whatever is happening, and keep perspective as best as one can.

decides2dream

Slip Kid wrote:

I can't believe it but I concur.

Sure one can choose to wallow in self pity but for the most part a situation that turns into a bad situation is most often not the persons fault.

One can only choose his or hers' actions and deal with it in a manner that resolves are gains closure

But beating the shit out of something feels good too

believe what you want.


and who mentioned 'fault'......? again, i am not discussing whatever shite comes your way in life.....so much we have no control over. what we do have control over is our reaction/our outlook....our perspective. and, even in pretty shite circumstance at times....it IS still possible to see there's still so much good in your life or what have you. seriously, for me, if i did not think like that...there are plenty of things/situations/people i would've given up on....but held on b/c i KNEW 'this too shall pass' and i knew the situation/person was worth it.....and it really IS up to ME to make my own happiness.


and absolutely, sometimes it feels GREAT to beat the shit out of an inanimate object, break something, scream..............why does one think i am not including that in it? as i said, i don't think this statement and/or life mantra is some happy/rosy/sunshiny perspective that ignores reality and the negatives that happen in life. it's just taking it ALL, the good AND the bad......finding your way, and yes, CHOOSING how you will think/feel/react and OWNING it, learn from it and choose your best path.


how i CHOOSE
to feel
IS
how i AM



thank you mr. mike mccready!
i think more than anything it truly points out the importance of being self-aware...and definitely not an easy task at all times.


anyhooo...i like reading everyone's thoughts/responses! besides, i am choosing to feel utter JOY in the fact of...one more day of work.....christmas party!.....then 6 whole days off, parties, food, drink, christmas! not difficult to choose to feel HAPPY about that.