Relationships

In My Dreams

Why do some have to be "complicated"? Why can't we all just live and let live? I see too much BS and drama. Too many "fear of commitments". Too much confusion. Why can't we just have love and acceptance?

Beck..

In My Dreams wrote:

Why do some have to be "complicated"? Why can't we all just live and let live? I see too much BS and drama. Too many "fear of commitments". Too much confusion. Why can't we just have love and acceptance?

Well said.

lalalalaaaaaaaa

In My Dreams wrote:

Why do some have to be "complicated"? Why can't we all just live and let live? I see too much BS and drama. Too many "fear of commitments". Too much confusion. Why can't we just have love and acceptance?

Well if we didn't have any of that, then the AET would have no reason to exist!

hehehe

redrock

In My Dreams wrote:

Why do some have to be "complicated"? Why can't we all just live and let live? I see too much BS and drama. Too many "fear of commitments". Too much confusion. Why can't we just have love and acceptance?

Because 'man' is a complicated mammal. We think, we question, we act foolishly, we succumb to our emotions/temptations, we are easily seduced, etc. The reasons go on for ever.

Indian Summer

if a relationship "has to be complicated", it's time to move on.....there is somebody out there for everyone who will make things "uncomplicated"

In My Dreams

Indian Summer wrote:

if a relationship "has to be complicated", it's time to move on.....there is somebody out there for everyone who will make things "uncomplicated"

I agree, but the sad thing is not everyone will move on. Instead they go on agonizing over it for a long time. I just don't get why? Better to be alone than in bad company.

norm

In My Dreams wrote:

I agree, but the sad thing is not everyone will move on. Instead they go on agonizing over it for a long time. I just don't get why? Better to be alone than in bad company.

you got that right!!

GreenTeaDisease

In My Dreams wrote:

I agree, but the sad thing is not everyone will move on. Instead they go on agonizing over it for a long time. I just don't get why? Better to be alone than in bad company.

"better to be alone than to wish you were!"

redrock

In My Dreams wrote:

I agree, but the sad thing is not everyone will move on. Instead they go on agonizing over it for a long time. I just don't get why? Better to be alone than in bad company.

We like to torture ourselves.

Jeanie

Some people seem to manage it.

Having said that, I am not one of them, but that doesn't appear to be because of my efforts at love, commitment, truth and honesty, and more to do with the asshole magnet in my body which despite repeated attempts to remove just keeps going off.

genie

In My Dreams wrote:

Why do some have to be "complicated"? Why can't we all just live and let live? I see too much BS and drama. Too many "fear of commitments". Too much confusion. Why can't we just have love and acceptance?

because no matter how equal we are we all have different ideas and outlook on life, and how things should be done

In My Dreams

Jeanie wrote:

Some people seem to manage it.

Having said that, I am not one of them, but that doesn't appear to be because of my efforts at love, commitment, truth and honesty, and more to do with the asshole magnet in my body which despite repeated attempts to remove just keeps going off.

I used to be an asshole magnet, I finally decided that all men suck and resolved myself to being alone forever. Three months later I met the man who would soon be my husband. We've been together for several years. We have our spats but there is no head games, no BS, no drama, no disappearing for days at a time. I think the secret is honesty and trust, loving unconditionally.

I wish everyone can be happy.

AmentsChick

In My Dreams wrote:

Why do some have to be "complicated"? Why can't we all just live and let live? I see too much BS and drama. Too many "fear of commitments". Too much confusion. Why can't we just have love and acceptance?

When/If you find the answer, please please, enlighten me!!!

Jeanie

In My Dreams wrote:

I used to be an asshole magnet, I finally decided that all men suck and resolved myself to being alone forever. Three months later I met the man who would soon be my husband. We've been together for several years. We have our spats but there is no head games, no BS, no drama, no disappearing for days at a time. I think the secret is honesty and trust, loving unconditionally.

I wish everyone can be happy.

I've done that too. Spent a great deal of time being happy alone and quite resolved to being alone. Worked out what I thought I might be doing wrong and was happy to go into the future on my own. Then I found myself entangled again and with the worst kind of ending this time.
I do all the honesty, trust and loving unconditionally, but it would seem that it's just not enough. So I'm out.

I think it's great you are happy and that you found someone though.

I just think that some of us will not and I am one of those people.

moxie

I know.

My cousin and her husband of four-and-a-half months are going through a pretty rough patch right now. They were together for seven years before getting married. They're both bringing problems to the relationship, and neither one wants to admit they might be part of the problem. It's frustrating.

I love them both and her husband is every bit as much family to me as she is, so I really hope they realize that this rough spot is just a spot, and that they can get past it.

SENROCK

In My Dreams wrote:

Too many "fear of commitments".

:eek: :eek: :eek:
im gonna say it takes someone truly great to break that mindset.

Sian-of-the-dead

In My Dreams wrote:

Why do some have to be "complicated"? Why can't we all just live and let live? I see too much BS and drama. Too many "fear of commitments". Too much confusion. Why can't we just have love and acceptance?

Relationships are only as complicated as you allow them to be

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

Relationships are only as complicated as you allow them to be

EXACTLY! I've always been quite a simple person... if something's too complicated fuck it. Which is one of the reasons I've spent most of my life single... but when relationships DO come along to someone like me, they're fucking fantastic. I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment, which would seem complicated to some but it's not at all... and everything's so uncomplicated when we're together that it makes turning the airport into my third home worthwhile.

If something's good, I'm going to make it work, if it's not, well there's no point wasting time on something that's doomed.

Sian-of-the-dead

Heineken Helen wrote:

If something's good, I'm going to make it work, if it's not, well there's no point wasting time on something that's doomed.

I pretty much have that opinion on life generally

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

I pretty much have that opinion on life generally

Me too I'm just somebody who's trying

Sian-of-the-dead

Heineken Helen wrote:

Me too I'm just somebody who's trying

oh you're very trying Helen...

Seriously though, what is the point in being in a 'complicated' relationship? Are the people involved getting anything out of it but heartache? Maybe. I've been there and it wasn't pleasant. I wasn't anywhere near as happy as I thought I was or as I am now. However, sometimes it takes complication to learn and to see things for what they are... I certainly won't go there again. I thought I was in love and I wasn't, but it's made really feeling it now, ten times better. I really appreciate what and who I have now, I was just lucky enough to have the chance to discover how good it could feel. Some people end up trapped in complicated relationships all their lives and never get that opportunity :(

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

oh you're very trying Helen... ; )

Seriously though, what is the point in being in a 'complicated' relationship? Are the people involved getting anything out of it but heartache? Maybe. I've been there and it wasn't pleasant. I wasn't anywhere near as happy as I thought I was or as I am now. However, sometimes it takes complication to learn and to see things for what they are... I certainly won't go there again. I thought I was in love and I wasn't, but it's made really feeling it now, ten times better. I really appreciate what and who I have now, I was just lucky enough to have the chance to discover how good it could feel. Some people end up trapped in complicated relationships all their lives and never get that opportunity : (

Awwww you two!

and yep, I've never understood... I've known people who go from one stupid complicated relationship to the next and I just don't get it. Only thing I can think of is the make up sex must be seriously multiple orgasmic!

Sian-of-the-dead

Heineken Helen wrote:

Awwww you two!

and yep, I've never understood... I've known people who go from one stupid complicated relationship to the next and I just don't get it. Only thing I can think of is the make up sex must be seriously multiple orgasmic!

lol must be... if it is, I didn't ever notice! :rolleyes:

I think it's generally a self esteem/fear thing. Not thinking life could get any better for someone like you, scared of starting again, admitting it's over etc... well, thats what it was for me anyway but as I say, luckily, I got out of it.

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

lol must be... if it is, I didn't ever notice! :rolleyes:

I think it's generally a self esteem/fear thing. Not thinking life could get any better for someone like you, scared of starting again, admitting it's over etc... well, thats what it was for me anyway but as I say, luckily, I got out of it.

well the people I knew in these relationships had self esteem issues alright... like they don't deserve any better and they're lucky they've found somebody... anybody.

QuarterToTen

Heineken Helen wrote:

EXACTLY! I've always been quite a simple person... if something's too complicated fuck it. Which is one of the reasons I've spent most of my life single... but when relationships DO come along to someone like me, they're fucking fantastic. I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment, which would seem complicated to some but it's not at all... and everything's so uncomplicated when we're together that it makes turning the airport into my third home worthwhile.

If something's good, I'm going to make it work, if it's not, well there's no point wasting time on something that's doomed.

any sustained, long term relationship can be so hard to maintain.

and i can't imagine having to maintain one on a long distance basis.

just curious....how often do you see each other??

Heineken Helen

QuarterToTen wrote:

any sustained, long term relationship can be so hard to maintain.

and i can't imagine having to maintain one on a long distance basis.

just curious....how often do you see each other??

the longest it's been was 3 weeks... generally every second weekend although this month it's gonna be every weekend bar one and a full week.

It's been worth every flight though

On paper it's tough and some times are tougher than others but it really is worth it

Sian-of-the-dead

Heineken Helen wrote:

well the people I knew in these relationships had self esteem issues alright... like they don't deserve any better and they're lucky they've found somebody... anybody.

*nods* Yeah thats sometimes what happens but that shouldn't be the basis for ANY relationship.
I do agree with QuarterToTen though, long term relationships ARE difficult to maintain but any problems should be faced together and should try everything in their power to prevent it becoming complicated.

Heineken Helen

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

*nods* Yeah thats sometimes what happens but that shouldn't be the basis for ANY relationship.
I do agree with QuarterToTen though, long term relationships ARE difficult to maintain but any problems should be faced together and should try everything in their power to prevent it becoming complicated.

yip. But then if you're both two laid back people anyway it should be that much easier.

justam

In My Dreams wrote:

Why do some have to be "complicated"? Why can't we all just live and let live? I see too much BS and drama. Too many "fear of commitments". Too much confusion. Why can't we just have love and acceptance?

Relationships are as complicated as the people involved. Simple is a nice goal but people also have to be themselves...

Heineken Helen

justam wrote:

Relationships are as complicated as the people involved. Simple is a nice goal but people also have to be themselves...

but you have to recognise that. I mean as much as you become a partnership, you're still two people and you have to accept that you can't own or control the other and to do so may be destroying what you fell in love with in the first place.

I mean there were several things that happened or were said over the weekend which I've seen couples break up over... but we both actually found it funny. It's silly how people get worked up over little things.

justam

Heineken Helen wrote:

but you have to recognise that. I mean as much as you become a partnership, you're still two people and you have to accept that you can't own or control the other and to do so may be destroying what you fell in love with in the first place.

I mean there were several things that happened or were said over the weekend which I've seen couples break up over... but we both actually found it funny. It's silly how people get worked up over little things.

I think if you talk and listen too, anything can be worked out if both people have that goal.