*** A Shit Rant Game ***

dunkman

ok... everyone likes a good rant... so the idea of this game is to have a rant about the subject matter left by the poster above you. I'll leave the first subject, someone then rant about it and leave a subject matter for the next person.. funniest and most acerbic one wins lifelong legend status on this here forum. go for it.




BOYBANDS

MonsterOfTheMidway

I thought this thread was about poop.

jamie uk

dunkman wrote:

ok... everyone likes a good rant... so the idea of this game is to have a rant about the subject matter left by the poster above you. I'll leave the first subject, someone then rant about it and leave a subject matter for the next person.. funniest and most acerbic one wins lifelong legend status on this here forum. go for it.




BOYBANDS

Man, over the years nothing's got on my tits quite as much as boybands! Poncey turds, wriggling their hips for the amusement of young girls who know nothing different, and the sexual attention of their mums, who let's face it are usually not much older themselves! Radio stations constantly firing new ones at us, and then stating crappy facts like how they've had the more hits than the Beatles had autograph stand ins, or something. It's got progresively worse over the years, as we've been 'treated' to all and sundry concerning these worthless wimps, I mean we now even see the auditions, and the selection process on tv! And people still lap it up! I mean how shallow, and transparent can they make something before people take a stand against it? And to add insult to injury, not satisfied with an ever worsening shit pile production line of quafferred dancing queens parading as pop groups...the old ones are all coming back :eek: and somehow, somewhere along the line, somebody seems to have decided they actually have some credibilty....yeah, and Gary Glitter has a reference for a job at a junior school!
:mad:



curly hair.

dunkman

curly hair?!


Art Garfunkel... when did that guy get up one morning, look into the mirror and think that was a good look?... he has gorillas pubes for hair... ON PURPOSE!! now another one is Mick Hucknall... not only did he have a wee fat red face, he also has ginger hair... curly ginger hair. In fact he once had it in dreadlocks... and dreadlocks have never looked good, ever. especially not on a wee fat ginger man. then those traveller folks who like The Levellers think that dreads are cool... simple fact is that they are too lazy to wash their own hair.





BUSES (or public transport)

chadwick

nysnc in the bathroom sink
you fucker suck like boy george supped on crack cocaine
in the alley on his knees behind the BLUE OYSTER CLUB on a Wednesday night
all the while David Hasselholf is down his pants that which resemble a circus clown outfit sold at Goodwill

Nysnc you suck monkey turd for breakfast, lunch, & dinner you no talent havin jerk offs, my grandmother (god rest her soul) has more talent in her ass acne that seeps yellow green pus than you stupid assholes could ever dream about

the other day when i saw a bear shit in wood @ central park, nyc it reminded me of your bunk ass orchestrated plot at the sound waves you dickless pricks call music... go screw yourselves someplace you over rated over paid buttholes. you are waisting million if not billions of peoples' time and energy just because they are tossing your stupid soundin shit into a trash can...

the fucking end...


Bing Crosby

dunkman

remember and leave a subject fucktooth! :rolleyes:

chadwick

dunkman wrote:

remember and leave a subject fucktooth! :rolleyes:

i suck at games..i am learning,,forgive me my father for i have fucked up...

jamie uk

Buses (public transport)

yeah, it's okay for you wankers in London to tell us to stop using our cars or you'll murder our kids, but we have no option! How would you like to live on a hillside 3 miles from the nearest bus stop, where buses only come once a week, which is in fact twice as often as most Scotsmen, but still not enough.
Yeah, in the city you can't turn around and fart without a bus pulling up next to you, it's not like that for us, so stop taking all our fucking money off us in petrol taxes and telling us it's for the good of the environment...when we really know it's for the fucking olympic shitty games in London! And for you wankers in parliament to have 12 weeks off work in the summer, and to wall paper your mistresses apartments with finest baby skin, imported from Persia at 200 smackers a roll!! :mad:


Posh people.

jamie uk

Bing Crosby

A cunt in a cardigan :mad:



Australians

Black Diamond

dunkman wrote:

curly hair?!


Art Garfunkel... when did that guy get up one morning, look into the mirror and think that was a good look?... he has gorillas pubes for hair... ON PURPOSE!! now another one is Mick Hucknall... not only did he have a wee fat red face, he also has ginger hair... curly ginger hair. In fact he once had it in dreadlocks... and dreadlocks have never looked good, ever. especially not on a wee fat ginger man. then those traveller folks who like The Levellers think that dreads are cool... simple fact is that they are too lazy to wash their own hair.





BUSES (or public transport)

On the f***ing NYC bus as I write. The bus driver couldn't care less that hia bus is so overcrowded that I am about to take a bite out of the arms in front of me that are touching my face. Half the people on the bus have not showered in days and I am 30 minutes late for getting to my other bus because the driver has only gone 2 stops even though there is no traffic at all. There are old woman walking faster than the bus is moving and who will beat me to my next distination! Oh, and did I forget to mention there is no air conditioning and it is 150F in here. The only thing that is making it better is that everyone is complaining. So we will get to the next stop and 2 people will get off while 10 will get on!

People who put on too much Perfume/Cologne

chadwick

BUSES (or public transport)


Conserve gas people even though some
of you assholes hasven't showered in a flippin week or three
you do smell and you smell like the gas in one's pants after a meal of beans, beer, and hard boiled eggs that been rotting in the sun for awhile

conserve gas people ride the stink wagon
even though some homeless whiskey drunk just vomitted and whacked
his ace in the seat next to you 2 minutes before you entered this rolling stink
farm of foul human odor

conserve gas people
get the fuck out of your HUMMERS you ignorant freakin arrogant dumber than a pole waste of space, park that over-sized hunk of shit you call a truck, i call a tank, you must be a millionaire with more money than god has coming out of his ass

you must crap oilrigs every morning just to fuel that gas guzzling hunk of steel shit
ride the bus people...



McDonalds

dunkman

jamie uk wrote:

Bing Crosby

A cunt in a cardigan :mad:



Australians

short and sweet... love it


Australians or 'Aussies' just have to shorten every fucking word that they can... lazy convicts that they are... or Connies for short... aborigines dont have the dignity of being called Aborigines... Abos.. Ambulances become Ambos... thats just ridico in my opinion.. plus any country that has Christmas Day...or Chriso Day... on the beach isnt to be trusted.. that and the fact they have more poisonous snakes than the average Aussie male has brain cells... 38 at the last count... cricket is one of their national sports.. i need say no more.


JAZZ

jamie uk

dunkman wrote:

short and sweet... love it


Australians or 'Aussies' just have to shorten every fucking word that they can... lazy convicts that they are... or Connies for short... aborigines dont have the dignity of being called Aborigines... Abos.. Ambulances become Ambos... thats just ridico in my opinion.. plus any country that has Christmas Day...or Chriso Day... on the beach isnt to be trusted.. that and the fact they have more poisonous snakes than the average Aussie male has brain cells... 38 at the last count... cricket is one of their national sports.. i need say no more.


JAZZ

Jazz? where do they get off on playing different songs at the same time? And the ones that play the same one together call themselves 'trad', i call it all shit. I've never seen anything so stupid as a man in a dickie bow trying to blow a trumpet and catch the spit in a plastic cup the other side! What is he trying to do, sell it to the 'free stylers' so they can wash their fucking ears out ?


pound shops

drtyfrnk29

Jazz, huh?

Let's just take a moment to think about the word jazz and what it means to people. For some it means a soulful, brassy hip style of music. For others, it's another retarded way to say you're excited. For arguments sake, let's get to the music side of it. For the people that get jazzed about shit...just wait your turn.

NOt that the music itself is annoying, but these socialite, higher than thou a- holes that claim to be jazz fans really get my god damn goat. Really? Big Charlie Parker fan are ya? Love the Duke, do you? Sit the fuck down!!! You're using jazz as an excuse to be pretentious, you shithead. Fact of the matter is, you walked into a Starbucks on Wednesday and thought the Jazzmasters Collection would go great next to your balsam wood bookcase, and maybe, just maybe, it might class up the place for when you bring the hookers over for the big coke party. You don't like jazz, you like getting laid by eastern european women that get impressed when you have a loaf of bread [and] a sack of bagels sitting in your kitchen; because back home, it was between the bread, the bagels or the heat on for another month.

PAPER PLATES

oil alternative

jamie uk wrote:

Jazz? where do they get off on playing different songs at the same time? And the ones that play the same one together call themselves 'trad', i call it all shit. I've never seen anything so stupid as a man in a dickie bow trying to blow a trumpet and catch the spit in a plastic cup the other side! What is he trying to do, sell it to the 'free stylers' so they can wash their fucking ears out ?


pound shops

pound shops!!

for starters the last time i went into a pound shop they didn't have many items for a pound, they were selling all sorts of shit like tables for 40 quid!!!! surely this is defeating the very object of calling yourself a fucking pound shop, and then there is the dodgy items that they have up for grabs, a fucking vibrator advertised as a back massager, genius or insanity? imagine, you go round to visit nan and what has taken pride of place on her mantlepiece but a 9 inch tripple ripple black butt invader, no one has the guts to tell her so when the w.i have their weekly meeting at, yep nans house, they choke on their tea and biscuits!



TONY BLAIR

pjfan31

dunkman wrote:

short and sweet... love it


Australians or 'Aussies' just have to shorten every fucking word that they can... lazy convicts that they are... or Connies for short... aborigines dont have the dignity of being called Aborigines... Abos.. Ambulances become Ambos... thats just ridico in my opinion.. plus any country that has Christmas Day...or Chriso Day... on the beach isnt to be trusted.. that and the fact they have more poisonous snakes than the average Aussie male has brain cells... 38 at the last count... cricket is one of their national sports.. i need say no more.


JAZZ

I sense someone is jealous that the 'brains' sent the convicts to paradise, what a great punishment. I would take Australia any day over anything in the U.K. Sending convicts to a place where there are beaches, where it doesn't rain nearly every single day, and we aren't all pale with red hair and buck teeth. And shortening our vocabulary isn't lazy, It is being efficient.

Sorry gone off topic

kcherub

Going off topic?!?

How dare you? I am sick and tired of people on this board going off on another subject in someone's thread! I might NEED 100 responses to my question about what kind of pants Ed wears, or if they are ever going to play Atlanta again. My time is valuable, and I really don't appreciate people busting in and making other people laugh. For God's sake, this is an important source of information for me!!!

BTW...I am kidding. I was looking forward to being able to rant about "something", and pjfan31 left me no choice.

pjfan31

kcherub wrote:

Going off topic?!?

How dare you? I am sick and tired of people on this board going off on another subject in someone's thread! I might NEED 100 responses to my question about what kind of pants Ed wears, or if they are ever going to play Atlanta again. My time is valuable, and I really don't appreciate people busting in and making other people laugh. For God's sake, this is an important source of information for me!!!

BTW...I am kidding. I was looking forward to being able to rant about "something", and pjfan31 left me no choice.

ok, I will give you a topic....

Bottled Water

harmless_little_f***

pjfan31 wrote:

ok, I will give you a topic....

Bottled Water

My girlfriend left a plastic bottle of water on my windowsill over two months ago and it's still fucking there. "Why have you left it there, you mucky bastard?" you ask. You might think that it's because such items serve as a reminder of our time together and how great she is. You might think I'm just too lazy to move it.

Well, you'd be wrong on both accounts. It's not interesting enough to be a reminder. And I'm not that lazy. But I am too fucking bored by the sight of it. It's bottled water. I just simply cannot be arsed to take the effort to move it. Nothing inspires me to even open my fist and grasp it. It doesn't even have enough presence in the room to demand any attention. It has virtually no outline against my white wall. It has nothing in it but water. Water which, I might add, probably tastes disgusting now, whereas my TAP is in the other fucking room and supplies me with replenished, fresh water every day.

Also, I don't wanna be the Levellers-loving dreads-clad Hippy that Dunk refers to (OK, I do) but bottled water is a reminder of the bastard industry which wants to take the beauty and CONVENIENCE of nature and shove it into a manufactured Perrier coffin. (Hear that? - Convenience! - "Convenience stores" can listen up, we could all just get our FREE, CONVENIENT water from streams and rivers if they weren't so fucking polluted, thanks to - yes, you guessed it - "Convenience stores"). "Perrier water comes from pure streams in the beautiful sun-drenched valleys of Northern France." Do you think anyone who drinks it actually gives a fuck? I know someone who refills her water bottle with Vodka so she can sit outside Costa's and no-one knows she's off her face.

Bottled water. Only good for floating your ship in. And no Dunk, that doesn't mean what you think it does.


***


CATS

oil alternative

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

My girlfriend left a plastic bottle of water on my windowsill over two months ago and it's still fucking there. "Why have you left it there, you mucky bastard?" you ask. You might think that it's because such items serve as a reminder of our time together and how great she is. You might think I'm just too lazy to move it.

Well, you'd be wrong on both accounts. It's not interesting enough to be a reminder. And I'm not that lazy. But I am too fucking bored by the sight of it. It's bottled water. I just simply cannot be arsed to take the effort to move it. Nothing inspires me to even open my fist and grasp it. It doesn't even have enough presence in the room to demand any attention. It has virtually no outline against my white wall. It has nothing in it but water. Water which, I might add, probably tastes disgusting now, whereas my TAP is in the other fucking room and supplies me with replenished, fresh water every day.

Also, I don't wanna be the Levellers-loving dreads-clad Hippy that Dunk refers to (OK, I do) but bottled water is a reminder of the bastard industry which wants to take the beauty and CONVENIENCE of nature and shove it into a manufactured Perrier coffin. (Hear that? - Convenience! - "Convenience stores" can listen up, we could all just get our FREE, CONVENIENT water from streams and rivers if they weren't so fucking polluted, thanks to - yes, you guessed it - "Convenience stores"). "Perrier water comes from pure streams in the beautiful sun-drenched valleys of Northern France." Do you think anyone who drinks it actually gives a fuck? I know someone who refills her water bottle with Vodka so she can sit outside Costa's and no-one knows she's off her face.

Bottled water. Only good for floating your ship in. And no Dunk, that doesn't mean what you think it does.


***


CATS

CATS

demanding poncy little weazles that take take take then fuck off, their idea of repaying your kindness of food and water and a roof over their head is to wait until you're asleep then leave a little present on the pillow, i've had world record sized moths placed next to me in my slumber, goldfish or the best one, maybe this is the cat mafia trying to get to me, but one morning i woke up to find a severed fucking crows head laying next to me on the pillow, imagine that, the terror that gripped me, and i look across the room and mr fucking puss puss is almost smiling as if to say "well aren't you gonna thank me?" i love cats!



MOTORBIKES

catefrances

oil alternative wrote:

CATS

demanding poncy little weazles that take take take then fuck off, their idea of repaying your kindness of food and water and a roof over their head is to wait until you're asleep then leave a little present on the pillow, i've had world record sized moths placed next to me in my slumber, goldfish or the best one, maybe this is the cat mafia trying to get to me, but one morning i woke up to find a severed fucking crows head laying next to me on the pillow, imagine that, the terror that gripped me, and i look across the room and mr fucking puss puss is almost smiling as if to say "well aren't you gonna thank me?" i love cats!



MOTORBIKES

and theyre always walking around with their tails in the air with their butt showing. all that says to me is theyre stuck up little furry critters who sneak around at night eating the wildlife and thinking that they own the world. did i mention tis bloody hot here atm and its only rocktober. not even summer and were hitting 35 degree days. i hate the hot... oh yeah cats... hate 'em. as for motorbikes... love those. am i playing right? as if i care.


TOWELS