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never poke a distressed badger in the eye

dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
edited April 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
is how my dad explained sex to me... then he handed me a balloon.


my dad also used to get up at 5.50am just to drive me to work sometimes...


dads are cool :)
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • PaukPauk Posts: 1,084
    My mum used to drive me to work.


    mums are cool :)
    Paul
    '06 - London, Dublin, Reading
    '07 - Katowice, Wembley, Dusseldorf, Copenhagen, Nijmegen
    '09 - London, Manchester, London
    '12 - Manchester, Manchester, Berlin, Stockholm, Copenhagen
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    "When you put your foot in your wellington boot in the morning, and it's all wet because a cat's been in it", was how my dad explained having a ham shandy.

    My dad wakes up at four in the morning, and cooks (burns) himself a mighty breakfast, singing "And they shot them in pairs, going down the stairs..." in his big Mayo brogue. The old cunt's eighty-two this year. I love him. :)
  • jamie ukjamie uk Posts: 3,812
    dunkman wrote:


    dads are cool :)

    Mine's not. Never has been.
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • drivingrldrivingrl Posts: 1,448
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    "When you put your foot in your wellington boot in the morning, and it's all wet because a cat's been in it", was how my dad explained having a ham shandy.

    A what? :confused:
    drivingrl: "Will I ever get to meet Gwen Stefani?"
    kevinbeetle: "Yes. When her career washes up and her and Gavin move to Galveston, you will meet her at Hot Topic shopping for a Japanese cheerleader outfit.

    Next!"
  • Lukin66Lukin66 Posts: 3,063
    jamie uk wrote:
    Mine's not. Never has been.
    +1
    deep, deep blue of the morning
    gets to me every time
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    drivingrl wrote:
    A what? :confused:


    A, er, a J Arthur Rank.
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    well my dad is great

    i hope my kids think i'm great...

    i even let them burn cardigans just incase i get to 53 and start wearing them
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • jamie ukjamie uk Posts: 3,812
    My kids think I'm great dunk, cos I do the stuff you talk of, well not driving them to work obviously. And I will never wear a cardigan
    I came, I saw, I concurred.....
  • reeferchiefreeferchief Posts: 3,569
    drivingrl wrote:
    A what? :confused:

    Well a ham shank = a wank, so lets check, since your american, you do the math?

    Ham shandy = ?
    Can not be arsed with life no more.
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    reeferchief wrote:
    Well a ham shank = a wank, so lets check, since your american, you do the math?

    Ham shandy = ?

    That's more to do with the art of stirring and brewing. :D
  • PearlsGirlPearlsGirl Posts: 257
    jamie uk wrote:
    Mine's not. Never has been.

    yeah... here too. clear disappointment.
    Don't let the world bring you down, not everyone here is that fucked up and cold. Remember why you came and while you're alive, experience the warmth before you grow old.

    Best two days of my life: Oasis at MSG and Pearl Jam at the Gorge.
  • Drop The Leash 10Drop The Leash 10 Posts: 7,011
    no comment
    I will be what i could be
    Once I get out of this town


    9/29/04;6/27/08;6/30/08;8/23/09;08/24/09;5/17/10
  • prljmngrlprljmngrl Posts: 320
    dunkman wrote:
    is how my dad explained sex to me... then he handed me a balloon.


    my dad also used to get up at 5.50am just to drive me to work sometimes...


    dads are cool :)
    hahaha you are hilarious!
  • SnakeSnake Posts: 2,605
    My Dads cool, very different, but very cool to me. Hes the kind of person you can come to with a problem, and somehow through his life experience, he can tell you what ever it is you need to know to help yourself. When you thank him he always says, I didnt do it, you did.

    My mom is cool, but now she gets on my nerves :D shes a little goofy.

    But they arent cool together, not anymore.
    Pirates had democracy too.

    "Its a secret to everybody."
  • Drowned OutDrowned Out Posts: 6,056
    jeezus...how come people from the UK have so much trouble with english? I never know what the hell you're talking about.
    Sure am glad I speak american...:p
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    Drowned Out wrote:
    jeezus...how come people from the UK have so much trouble with english? I never know what the hell you're talking about.
    Sure am glad I speak american...:p

    hahahahaha :)

    p.s. you missed a zero from your signature.
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • audiodaveaudiodave Posts: 1,623
    Bless me father for I have sinned....I poked a badger with a spoon.
    ~AKA Dave-of-the-dead~

    I don't wanna think, I wanna feel

    Dublin 23/08/06 Lisbon I 04/09/06 Lisbon II 05/09/06 Paris 11/09/06 Verona 16/09/06

    London 18/06/07 Dusseldorf 21/06/07 Copenhagen 26/06/07 Nijmegen 28/06/07
  • LindaLinda Posts: 1,656
    jamie uk wrote:
    Mine's not. Never has been.

    same here.....
    i'm not happy yet.....
  • EddiEEddiE Posts: 125
    Drowned Out wrote:
    jeezus...how come people from the UK have so much trouble with english? I never know what the hell you're talking about.
    Sure am glad I speak american...:p

    American is English :S
    Paris 7/11/96
    Manchester 4/6/00
  • butterfly1butterfly1 Posts: 372
    Not cool either. I am making up for it with my daughter :>)
  • acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    When I was 13 my dad told me its time to become a man and clocked me
    lol
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • acoustic guyacoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    butterfly1 wrote:
    Not cool either. I am making up for it with my daughter :>)

    Me too. After having my daughter, I cant understand how a person could be cruel or mean to their child. I just don't understand. It's utterly impossible for me to do so.
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • _Crazy_Mary__Crazy_Mary_ Posts: 1,299
    Did anybody hear about that dad that kept his 18 year old daughter locked in a windowless cell in the basement for 24 years? Had sex with her numerous times a day and fathered 7 children with her...

    some dads aren't cool
    I really screwed that up. I really Schruted it.
  • edvedder913edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    _Crazy_Mary_ wrote:
    Did anybody hear about that dad that kept his 18 year old daughter locked in a windowless cell in the basement for 24 years? Had sex with her numerous times a day and fathered 7 children with her...

    some dads aren't cool


    yes. that story is sick!!! i would like to kill him with my own 2 hands.

    on a better note - my son told me this weekend that i am the coolest mother ever.....
  • Gremmie95Gremmie95 Posts: 749
    I enjoy the occasional "nip" with the old man and a round of golf. Good times.
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    my Da' is RAD!!! he comes up with some seriously fucked up analogies whenever I have a problem..."well girly, men are like paper plates...you'd want to be sure to get a chin-ette so's you can eat somethin sizable off him. . . but uhh, you wouldn't want to eat anything complicated off a chin-ette either...like soup..."

    I still haven't figured out what the FUCK the old man was telling me with that one... :confused:

    He also was the one to tell me about sex - my mom would NEVER talk about anything...what he told me was "aye, mija...sex isn't love. it's just a bunch of naked wrestling and then you get a baby...so, don't put anything of his in anything of yours. Unless you want to kill your mother. besides, you don't want to get messy, do you?"

    :D
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
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