Men are never depressed.

dunkman
dunkman Posts: 19,646
edited January 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
well except Harmless.

but here's why men are just happier people:-


Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.**

You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another*petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks and engines.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.


Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -

One colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • V V
    V V Posts: 5,191
    hahaha that is frightningly true !!! :eek:
    ~~~~~~~~~~ PINK FLUFFY LOVE PSYCHO~~~~~~~~~~
    Astoria,Dublin,Reading 06,Wembley 07,Sheapards Bush & o2 09 thats multiple Jamgasms!
  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    Where did you copy that from? ;)
  • PearlJamaholic
    PearlJamaholic Posts: 2,019
    dunkman wrote:
    The garage is all yours. (dont have a garage)

    Wedding plans take care of themselves. (probably will never marry)

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. (i sure do)

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. (why i dont buy new shoes)

    One mood all the time. (nope)

    You know stuff about tanks and engines. (hahahaha, sureeeeee)

    You can open all your own jars. (see above.......)

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. (people wonder what im up to)

    You only have to shave your face and neck. (i dont)

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. (takes me a month)

    but i dont think these are the reasons for my mess, if they were i think i could fix this.
    http://db.etree.org/PearlJamaholic
  • Collin
    Collin Posts: 4,931
    Sounds about right :D

    I have two moods, though.
    THANK YOU, LOSTDAWG!


    naděje umírá poslední
  • Irish Al
    Irish Al Posts: 6,236
    Yep gotta agree with his dunkness being a man is class :D
    I need a coffee!
  • Danimal
    Danimal Posts: 2,000
    I like to know stuff about tanks!
    "I don't believe in PJ fans but I believe there is something, not too sure what." - Thoughts_Arrive


  • MattCameronKicksButt
    MattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    I want so bad to pick on you right now for my own amusement but you're right about most of those. :mad:
  • urbanhippie
    urbanhippie Posts: 3,007
    :rolleyes:
    Oh God! it's sad, but yes, it's all true :mad:
    A human being that was given to fly.

    Wembley 18/06/07

    If there was a reason, it was you.

    O2 Arena 18/09/09
  • Hitch-Hiker
    Hitch-Hiker Posts: 2,873
    dunkman wrote:
    The world is your urinal.
    So true :D
    I'll Ride The Wave Where It Takes Me
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    I disagree with a few of these :o which doesn't say much for my manliness.

    My use of the world as a urinal however does.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • harmless_little_f***
    harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    I disagree with a few of these :o which doesn't say much for my manliness.

    My use of the world as a urinal however does.

    I thought the rain looked a little bit off-colour the other day..
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    I thought the rain looked a little bit off-colour the other day..
    Not the whole world obviously. I'm not God.
    although how cool would that be...
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • LikeAnOpeningBandForTheSun
    LikeAnOpeningBandForTheSun Posts: 6,097
    and yet i still get depressed!
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    then majority of men i have met are hiding something from me :D
  • dunkman
    dunkman Posts: 19,646
    oh god.. i think people are taking it a little too literally... its supposed to be just funny broadsweeping observations... you know like why are all southern people stupid, why are people from India such bad drivers, etc... its not 100% true for everyone but it takes the stereotype and makes mirth from it.

    now fuck off as i have haggis to cook, 3 castles to build and 178 English people must die before nightfall
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • nuffingman
    nuffingman Posts: 3,014
    dunkman wrote:
    Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack.
    And after one days wear we can turn them inside out for the next day. We are inventive!!! :D
  • genie
    genie Posts: 2,222
    dunkman wrote:
    oh god.. i think people are taking it a little too literally... its supposed to be just funny broadsweeping observations... you know like why are all southern people stupid, why are people from India such bad drivers, etc... its not 100% true for everyone but it takes the stereotype and makes mirth from it.

    now fuck off as i have haggis to cook, 3 castles to build and 178 English people must die before nightfall

    hey you are busy guy, and you also manage to post this at the same time, who said men can't multitask? ;)
  • RolandTD20Kdrummer
    RolandTD20Kdrummer Posts: 13,066
    Whenever I pick up power tools magic powers flow into me.

    Whenever my GF does it it saps her mental abilities and co-ordination.

    :D
    Progress is not made by everyone joining some new fad,
    and reveling in it's loyalty. It's made by forming coalitions
    over specific principles, goals, and policies.

    http://i36.tinypic.com/66j31x.jpg

    (\__/)
    ( o.O)
    (")_(")
  • JordyWordy
    JordyWordy Posts: 2,261
    RolandTD20Kdrummer wrote:
    Whenever I pick up power tools magic powers flow into me.

    Whenever my GF does it it saps her mental abilities and co-ordination.

    :D

    remember to thank God (who clearly has a gender and it is MALE) for that bigger brain of yours. ;)

    mens brains absorb information while womens become scattered and confused
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    unfortunately all this true. I know it's a joke but it hits on a lot of serious issues.

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