Anybody hypomanic?

Heineken Helen

angelica wrote:

I have a really big emotional capacity. I feel things deeply. I feel very fortunate to be so sensitized, and to sense things that others often overlook. To me this is a blessing. I've been through a lot of stuff in my life, and I let those old feelings come up all the time so I can feel them and release them. So when I feel deep pain...in the past, I was VERY uncomfortable with that and I constantly tried to block it and then it turned to a disorder. I didn't know how to deal with my natural responses to life, which are probably more intense than most people's. Now having accepted my feelings, I've developed ways to deal with them that are healthy. And I understand that those feelings are there for a reason. So I fully welcome that deep pain. And therefore, there is no longer a dark side to when I feel the positive emotions like when I'm joyous or euphoric. I get to experience heightened emotions in a balanced way. And all the aspects of disorder have now disappeared. I am at peace with how I experience life.

that's pretty much how I feel a lot of the time so no, I don't feel like it causes me problems... cos I too had issues and had some anger issues when I was early 20's but I've slowly learned to deal with that and made a conscious effort to get out of that. I like to think it worked well I've had no 'outbreaks' in years and feel in control.

angelica

Heineken Helen wrote:

that's pretty much how I feel a lot of the time so no, I don't feel like it causes me problems... cos I too had issues and had some anger issues when I was early 20's but I've slowly learned to deal with that and made a conscious effort to get out of that. I like to think it worked well I've had no 'outbreaks' in years and feel in control.

I think this is the key...recognizing when things aren't working, and adapting.

The two mental health agencies I work for, both are not fond of "illness models" that focus on illness. Rather, they focus on making healthy life choices and changes that keep things moving in a positive, healthy direction. And that's for those who have been labelled as having mental illness. In the same way, we can adapt before something more serious develops. The one program I work for, they are going into high schools and talking to kids, hoping they can prevent kids from developing mental health issues, by learning healthy adaptation skills before really serious problems start.

catefrances

angelica wrote:

I think the key is whether you're feeling that these traits are causing you problems. For example, I feel healthier and happier than ever in my life especially when I feel in this type of state (which is a lot). If everyone around me sees that I'm happy and healthy, and I don't go to my doctor for mental health complaints, then, really, there's nothing wrong. On the other hand, years ago things were very different for me. My moods swung all over the place and I was not grounded, and I did not feel okay. And I sought help from doctors. They therefore had to group my main issues into a disorder category.

I have a really big emotional capacity. I feel things deeply. I feel very fortunate to be so sensitized, and to sense things that others often overlook. To me this is a blessing. I've been through a lot of stuff in my life, and I let those old feelings come up all the time so I can feel them and release them. So when I feel deep pain...in the past, I was VERY uncomfortable with that and I constantly tried to block it and then it turned to a disorder. I didn't know how to deal with my natural responses to life, which are probably more intense than most people's. Now having accepted my feelings, I've developed ways to deal with them that are healthy. And I understand that those feelings are there for a reason. So I fully welcome that deep pain. And therefore, there is no longer a dark side to when I feel the positive emotions like when I'm joyous or euphoric. I get to experience heightened emotions in a balanced way. And all the aspects of disorder have now disappeared. I am at peace with how I experience life.

People, including professionals, tend to see these disorders as distinct. Like you either have an illness or not, and really, there is a lot of grey area, and a lot of it is arbitrary, and depending on how we experience it. Mental illness is different than physical illness in this sense. It usually does not have an objectively quantifiable illness/pathology on a physical level.

If I were no longer able to balance these traits enough to feel healthy and okay, and if I sought help, it would be considered that I have a disorder, again.

Yes, I agree about if you killed someone...and if you killed someone, it would indicate that you were not balanced and healthy, and they would look to find out what was wrong and would give it a label.

this is great angelica but not everyone is like you. i have a real big emotional capacity and i hate it. i hate that i feel things deeply. i dont feel fortunate.
i hate it with a passion.

if helen(or anyone else) is feeling these hypomanic periods i hope they are wise enough to seek out some counsel from an appropriate professional. and then decide for themselves whether or not they can/will take on board what is suggested for their own individual wellbeing.

i find it interesting that you said, there is no longer a dark side to when you feel the positive emotions like when youre joyous or euphoric. which is great... for you, however for me euphoria would definitely ring my bells as a warning that i was approaching my own personal dark side.

Heineken Helen

catefrances wrote:

this is great angelica but not everyone is like you. i have a real big emotional capacity and i hate it. i hate that i feel things deeply. i dont feel fortunate.
i hate it with a passion.

if helen(or anyone else) is feeling these hypomanic periods i hope they are wise enough to seek out some counsel from an appropriate professional. and then decide for themselves whether or not they can/will take on board what is suggested for their own individual wellbeing.

i find it interesting that you said, there is no longer a dark side to when you feel the positive emotions like when youre joyous or euphoric. which is great... for you, however for me euphoria would definitely ring my bells as a warning that i was approaching my own personal dark side.

Nah Cate, I've been able to sort myself out on more than a few occasions. I believe I've a healthy way of dealing with things and sorting them out in my head. My sister can't understand how I've been able to cope with some things so easily... and no, it hasn't been easy... but I DO think about stuff and analyse stuff and I believe I'm capable of coming up with answers myself without asking a complete stranger to explain my life to me. Of course there have been occasions where I've needed a friend to help me with this... and I think I would know if things got to the point where I needed a professional. I guess my personal experience hasn't been the best. My mother was seeing a psychiatrist for years... the only result was that the psychiatrist (same guy who recommended electric shock therapy for my neighbour who had CJD) managed to convince her that, yes, she was always right and her kids were always wrong. This to the woman who admitted several times that the only thing she ever did wrong was 'marrying your father and having you'. There was further stuff that happened that I will never go into detail about... but it ruined our family and probably should have ruined me.

So I don't see it as a hypomanic period... I see it as me being grateful for every day I'm alive and REALLY enjoying all this world has to offer... cos I've learned how shit the world CAN be... but only if you let it be.

catefrances

Heineken Helen wrote:

Nah Cate, I've been able to sort myself out on more than a few occasions. I believe I've a healthy way of dealing with things and sorting them out in my head. My sister can't understand how I've been able to cope with some things so easily... and no, it hasn't been easy... but I DO think about stuff and analyse stuff and I believe I'm capable of coming up with answers myself without asking a complete stranger to explain my life to me. Of course there have been occasions where I've needed a friend to help me with this... and I think I would know if things got to the point where I needed a professional. I guess my personal experience hasn't been the best. My mother was seeing a psychiatrist for years... the only result was that the psychiatrist (same guy who recommended electric shock therapy for my neighbour who had CJD) managed to convince her that, yes, she was always right and her kids were always wrong. This to the woman who admitted several times that the only thing she ever did wrong was 'marrying your father and having you'. There was further stuff that happened that I will never go into detail about... but it ruined our family and probably should have ruined me.

So I don't see it as a hypomanic period... I see it as me being grateful for every day I'm alive and REALLY enjoying all this world has to offer... cos I've learned how shit the world CAN be... but only if you let it be.

i didnt see it as hypomania either. hence my post.

ooh no EST... fuck that bullshit. no way on earth is anyone jolting me with a zillion volts. :(

Heineken Helen

catefrances wrote:

i didnt see it as hypomania either. hence my post.

ooh no EST... fuck that bullshit. no way on earth is anyone jolting me with a zillion volts. :(

This guy was seriously incompetent! Where I come from there are maybe 9 houses together... a mile away from the nearest town. He destroyed TWO of those households and he's probably still working away!

angelica

catefrances wrote:

this is great angelica but not everyone is like you. i have a real big emotional capacity and i hate it. i hate that i feel things deeply. i dont feel fortunate.
i hate it with a passion.

if helen(or anyone else) is feeling these hypomanic periods i hope they are wise enough to seek out some counsel from an appropriate professional. and then decide for themselves whether or not they can/will take on board what is suggested for their own individual wellbeing.

i find it interesting that you said, there is no longer a dark side to when you feel the positive emotions like when youre joyous or euphoric. which is great... for you, however for me euphoria would definitely ring my bells as a warning that i was approaching my own personal dark side.

I think I am pretty clear that if someone feels they have a problem, that they do what it takes to deal with it in their own best interests.

I hated my capacity for serious emotional depth for years. I detested the years of despair and depression, and the years of teetering on the brink of the abyss. I remember for years only wanting to be 'ok', when I thought that actual happiness was too lofty an ideal for me.

It was by my seeking ways to cope, deal with and solve these issues that I did. And that included using what psychiatric treatments were in my best interest at any given time. At other times, what was in my best interests was seeking beyond psychiatry and labels.

The labels are arbitrary, depending on what one is looking for or what perspective we are coming from. They are not absolutes. Whether I was tormented, or feeling at peace, I'm always me, and I always have the same predispositions.