When do you know that a relationship has run it's course

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  • mammasan
    mammasan Posts: 5,656
    HOOKER wrote:
    ouch. I was dumped via text message yesterday :(

    DAMN that's such fucked up. I don't care how much you may want to break up with someone at least have the decency to do it in person. At the very least over the phone.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • decides2dream
    decides2dream Posts: 14,977
    mammasan wrote:
    Well I called my girlfriend and told her that we needed to talk tonight. I told her that I truely care about her and love her and that I don't want our relationship to get to the point where we can't stand the sight of each other. She seemed a bit thrown off guard that I felt our relationship was heading in that direction. I asked her how else can she explain all the useless arguements and squabbles we have had lately. She agreed that there has been a lot of fighting lately. So hopefully this talk tonight will help and we can clear up this tension.

    Thanks to all for the words of wisdom.


    well done. nothing can be determined until you actually communicate your thoughts. it is quite possible you are 'jumping the gun' as you say, especially given the break-up of your marriage. also completely understandable. NO one wants to have to go thru all THAT, ever, but certainly not 2x. ALL couples have issues, rough patches, difficult times...and that may just be where you are right now. talk about it and see how it goes. however, in time, if it still doesn't feel 'right' nor worth the effort, absolutely, best to move on...for both of you. i can only imagine what it feels like to start all over after a 10+ year marriage. sure, exciting/invigorating to start anew, but also exhausting thinking of all the efforts and 'learning' someone new again. i can totally feel you on not wanting to put all that effort in again, etc. if it gets to the point of feeling not worth the effort, too much effort needed, etc...it probably is. right now though, sounds like you made a wise decision. talk it out and ride the wave where it takes you. good luck. :)


    aha, j.lo already said it and far more concisely:
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:

    If you feel like it has run its course, then maybe it has. If you feel like it's worth putting forth a little effort to figure out the problem, give it a try but keep in mind that the payoff needs to be worth the effort. It's one thing to try and repair a relationship with the mother of your children...but not every relationship is worth fixing.

    Don't stress about it too much, and in time you will know.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • HOOKER
    HOOKER Posts: 1,443
    mammasan wrote:
    DAMN that's such fucked up. I don't care how much you may want to break up with someone at least have the decency to do it in person. At the very least over the phone.


    Well, he really didnt dump me. He needs SPACE..blah. Its not me, its him!
    Nice to know you.
  • mammasan
    mammasan Posts: 5,656
    HOOKER wrote:
    Well, he really didnt dump me. He needs SPACE..blah. Its not me, its him!

    That is guy speak for I want to test the waters and see if the grass is greener on the other side, but not completely break it off with you in case I can't find someone else.

    Sorry to be so blunt but that is exactly what he is thinking.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • HOOKER
    HOOKER Posts: 1,443
    mammasan wrote:
    That is guy speak for I want to test the waters and see if the grass is greener on the other side, but not completely break it off with you in case I can't find someone else.

    Sorry to be so blunt but that is exactly what he is thinking.

    I need someone to be blunt with me. Its complicated. We have been off and on for 11 years. Too long of a story plus I dont wanna highjack your thread.
    Nice to know you.
  • iluvcats
    iluvcats Posts: 5,153
    mammasan wrote:
    DAMN that's such fucked up. I don't care how much you may want to break up with someone at least have the decency to do it in person. At the very least over the phone.

    over the phone is bad!
    9/98, 9/00 - DC, 4/03 - Pitt., 7/03 - Bristow, 10/04 - Reading, 10/05 - Philly, 5/06 - DC, 6/06 - Pitt., 6/08 - Va Beach, 6/08 - DC, 5/10 - Bristow, 10/13 B'more
    8/08 - Ed solo in DC, 6/09 Ed in B'more,
    10/10 - Brad in B'more
  • mammasan
    mammasan Posts: 5,656
    iluvcats wrote:
    over the phone is bad!

    Over the phone is bad but it's at least better than via text.
    "When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads." - Ron Paul
  • KosmicJelli
    KosmicJelli Posts: 1,855
    mammasan wrote:
    Well I called my girlfriend and told her that we needed to talk tonight. I told her that I truely care about her and love her and that I don't want our relationship to get to the point where we can't stand the sight of each other. She seemed a bit thrown off guard that I felt our relationship was heading in that direction. I asked her how else can she explain all the useless arguements and squabbles we have had lately. She agreed that there has been a lot of fighting lately. So hopefully this talk tonight will help and we can clear up this tension.

    Thanks to all for the words of wisdom.

    Awww.... good to see you worked it out...


    ps friends call me Dr Phyllis if yah ever need to vent....

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