I am proposing to my girlfriend on Saturday and am a bit nervous...

walkunafraid

I'm not a nervous or anxious person by any means, so I'm somewhat surprised that I feel so anxious 2 days before I pop the question.

It's not so much her answer that I'm worried about -- we've been together for 8 years, so her answer is pretty much a given -- but more so hoping things will turn out the way I want.

I'm taking her to the observatory in Los Angeles. Ideally, the weather will be beautiful, the stars will be shining, and I can ask her in a quiet spot overlooking a panoramic view of the city.

But what if it's overcast and there's no stars to be seen? Or -- even worse -- what if the observatory is packed and I can't find a private place to do it? Should I just do it in front of a bunch of strangers?

Also, is she going to like the ring I bought for her? Should I do the traditional on-bended-knee proposal? And did I make a mistake by not asking her dad's permission first?

Aargh...Saturday can't come soon enough!

Sian-of-the-dead

Don't panic!! All the things you're worrying about are out of your control
Try to focus on the things you can control, and calmly! If you panic, things will go wrong. She will understand if there's no stars. You don't HAVE to ask her at the observatory if it's busy... take her for a walk and ask her alone. There are many things you can change to make it just as perfect as your original plan.

Good luck with asking her. It's a big thing and you're making a huge commitment, take deep breaths and try and make it a night to remember for the rest of your lives

EDIT: I'm a traditionalist, but she might not be. The knee approach might not be for her but I do believe it shows respect to ask her Dad first. But that's just me

Ms. Haiku

How exciting! Pre-Congratulations!

Love is in the air
Everytime you look around
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound

Everybody now. . . .


Quite frankly, it would be romantic even if it's a thunderstorm, and the wind blows so much that all these people, including you two, huddle against the wall just to get out of the way. And by force of bad luck she ends up 3 people away from you, but you know it's now or never. So, you shout the question to her for all the heavens to hear! Imagine all the people clapping for you? Awwwww, I'm getting dewey eyed . . .

However, no need to ask her dad first. It seems contrived in this day and age. She can make her own decisions on her future.

Black Diamond

I asked my wife in a closet. So anything that you do will certainly be a step up

We have our 10th anniversary this year, so I guess it worked out

BTW, Congrats!! Nothing better in the world

urbanhippie

Congratulations
Don't panic, just judge the moment and you'll be fine. If it feels right to get down on one knee, do it!

And maybe you can go speak to her parents formally after you have your answer? Kind of covering all the bases so to speak.

Ms. Haiku

Ok, a question?

I'm 40, and so I'm not a new kid on the block or spring chicken or wet around the ears . . whatever the phrase.

However, I'm not sure why a propose-er would ask the parents. The propose-ee should announce it to the parents, right?

Sian-of-the-dead

Ms. Haiku wrote:

Ok, a question?

I'm 40, and so I'm not a new kid on the block or spring chicken or wet around the ears . . whatever the phrase.

However, I'm not sure why a propose-er would ask the parents. The propose-ee should announce it to the parents, right?

It's quite traditional, to ask permission from the father of the bride to be.

It's what i've always thought of as traditional anyways and i'd want it done if a guy wanted to marry me

acoustic guy

walkunafraid wrote:

I'm not a nervous or anxious person by any means, so I'm somewhat surprised that I feel so anxious 2 days before I pop the question.

It's not so much her answer that I'm worried about -- we've been together for 8 years, so her answer is pretty much a given -- but more so hoping things will turn out the way I want.

I'm taking her to the observatory in Los Angeles. Ideally, the weather will be beautiful, the starts will be shining, and I can ask her in a quiet spot overlooking a panoramic view of the city.

But what if it's overcast and there's no starts to be seen? Or -- even worse -- what if the observatory is packed and I can't find a private place to do it? Should I just do it in front of a bunch of strangers?

Also, is she going to like the ring I bought for her? Should I do the traditional on-bended-knee proposal? And did I make a mistake by not asking her dad's permission first?

Aargh...Saturday can't come soon enough!

Thats great man! Congrats!
I threw up the night before I did it.
Just have a few drinks and you will be fine.
Wow, how exciting!

Heineken Helen

It's funnier if things go wrong and make for a better story later so just keep that in mind if anything DOES!

Ah I'm soooo happy for you... I'm sure it will be perfect.

I for one wouldn't be big on the whole asking the dad first thing though. I wouldn't be offended if he did but I don't see the point.

brainofPJ

i took all the potential nervousness out of the whole thing...

i proposed to her in her apartment....she couldn't have been happier.

chime

Ms. Haiku wrote:

Ok, a question?

I'm 40, and so I'm not a new kid on the block or spring chicken or wet around the ears . . whatever the phrase.

However, I'm not sure why a propose-er would ask the parents. The propose-ee should announce it to the parents, right?

Most people I know the proposer has asked the Dad first (I'm a touch younger than you ) ... but may be it's more of the done thing over here?

My bro-in-law just made a quick phone call to my Dad earlier on the day he was going to ask my sis.

DOSW

I think what I'm going to do is not have anything too specific planned... when I'm ready to ask I'll just carry the ring around with me everywhere and try to get into some romantic situations... then when everything's perfect, I'll pop the question.

Oh yeah and good luck, walkunafraid!

pearljamgirl07

don't be nervous!!! enjoy that beautiful moment!!good luck:)

Sian-of-the-dead

DOSW wrote:

I think what I'm going to do is not have anything too specific planned... when I'm ready to ask I'll just carry the ring around with me everywhere and try to get into some romantic situations... then when everything's perfect, I'll pop the question.

Oh yeah and good luck, walkunafraid!

That's a really great idea!

I wonder how many men do that...?

DOSW

Sian-of-the-dead wrote:

That's a really great idea!

I wonder how many men do that...?

I don't know... I actually just thought of it while reading this thread and it sounded like a good idea, haha

walkunafraid

Thanks for the advice and best wishes, everyone.

You're right -- no need to stress over this. However it goes, the end result is that I will be engaged, and that's all that really matters.

Her parents are really cool and so in a way I wanted to ask them, but on the other hand I know that they wouldn't really be expecting it, either. They are about as far from traditional as you can get -- they are pot smoking, music-loving ex-hippies -- so I'm thinking they won't be offended by my not asking.

Thanks again, everyone. I'll let you know how it goes after Saturday.

Igivesuchgoodparadym

Black Diamond wrote:

I asked my wife in a closet. So anything that you do will certainly be a step up

We have our 10th anniversary this year, so I guess it worked out

BTW, Congrats!! Nothing better in the world

gotta ask....did you eventually come out of the closet? Had to, sorry.

Igivesuchgoodparadym

walkunafraid wrote:

Thanks for the advice and best wishes, everyone.

You're right -- no need to stress over this. However it goes, the end result is that I will be engaged, and that's all that really matters.

Her parents are really cool and so in a way I wanted to ask them, but on the other hand I know that they wouldn't really be expecting it, either. They are about as far from traditional as you can get -- they are pot smoking, music-loving ex-hippies -- so I'm thinking they won't be offended by my not asking.

Thanks again, everyone. I'll let you know how it goes after Saturday.

you'll be fine. I mean, your name is WalkUnafraid, right? Go for it. The water is warm, jump right in!

Black Diamond

Igivesuchgoodparadym wrote:

gotta ask....did you eventually come out of the closet? Had to, sorry.

We are completely out of the closet

wolfbear

Congrats! I wouldn't worry about a thing, sounds perfect.

decides2dream

walkunafraid wrote:

I'm not a nervous or anxious person by any means, so I'm somewhat surprised that I feel so anxious 2 days before I pop the question.

It's not so much her answer that I'm worried about -- we've been together for 8 years, so her answer is pretty much a given -- but more so hoping things will turn out the way I want.

I'm taking her to the observatory in Los Angeles. Ideally, the weather will be beautiful, the starts will be shining, and I can ask her in a quiet spot overlooking a panoramic view of the city.

But what if it's overcast and there's no starts to be seen? Or -- even worse -- what if the observatory is packed and I can't find a private place to do it? Should I just do it in front of a bunch of strangers?

Also, is she going to like the ring I bought for her? Should I do the traditional on-bended-knee proposal? And did I make a mistake by not asking her dad's permission first?

Aargh...Saturday can't come soon enough!

sometimes what is viewed as a 'negative' in advance, can actually turn into a positive. my husband propsed to me in one of our then-fave restaurants. thing is, for whatever reason he picked a particular day, a weekday, made a reservation and he would not change. turns out we had a massive snowstorm! he still made me go out, dressed to the nines....and i was like wtf? i had my suspicions, but still. we ended up being the ONLY guest in the entire restaurant. i felt bad for the staff having to be there...but they seemed ultimately happy to be a part of our special day. nothing happened until dessert, and the waiter brought out a cake that had 'will you marry me?' on it while my husband broke out the ring. i could not ask for a more perfect evening or proposal.......and that horrible snowstorm made it that much more speial and memorable.


don't sweat the small stuff. it WILL be perfect, even in whatever imperfections may occur. ALL the BEST to you as you start your lives off together!


oh and btw - no, he didn't ask my dad. i don't think that's all too common here anymore unless the strictist of tradionalists. my parents are quite traditional in many ways, but not for something like that. and we were married a bit over 16 years ago....engaged 17.5 years ago.

The Champ

walkunafraid wrote:

Her parents are really cool and so in a way I wanted to ask them, but on the other hand I know that they wouldn't really be expecting it, either. They are about as far from traditional as you can get -- they are pot smoking, music-loving ex-hippies -- so I'm thinking they won't be offended by my not asking.

That's hilarious about the parents, but I don't see the harm in asking. Maybe you are nervous about asking as I know I was moreso than asking my wife..lol..but nonetheless it's a good gesture on your part and it'll make them feel respected and valued..no brainer really....but in any case, best of luck!! And btw, don't tell her about all of the corny survivor pj threads you start coz she may say no, rightfully so ..

eyedclaar

The Champ wrote:

That's hilarious about the parents, but I don't see the harm in asking. Maybe you are nervous about asking as I know I was moreso than asking my wife..lol..but nonetheless it's a good gesture on your part and it'll make them feel respected and valued..no brainer really....but in any case, best of luck!! And btw, don't tell her about all of the corny survivor pj threads you start coz she may say no, rightfully so ..

I never asked the parents of the two women I have married (divorced and remarried). I just didn't care what they thought either way...

The Champ

eyedclaar wrote:

I never asked the parents of the two women I have married (divorced and remarried). I just didn't care what they thought either way...

Well, that's a very poopy attitude there Mr. Eyedclaar ..

walkunafraid

The Champ wrote:

That's hilarious about the parents, but I don't see the harm in asking. Maybe you are nervous about asking as I know I was moreso than asking my wife..lol..but nonetheless it's a good gesture on your part and it'll make them feel respected and valued..no brainer really....but in any case, best of luck!!

Thanks for the advice and kind wishes.

And btw, don't tell her about all of the corny survivor pj threads you start coz she may say no, rightfully so ..

Haha, I know you voted in some of those.

eyedclaar

The Champ wrote:

Well, that's a very poopy attitude there Mr. Eyedclaar ..

Par for the course, I suppose. How you been, Champ?

The Champ

walkunafraid wrote:

Thanks for the advice and kind wishes.



Haha, I know you voted in some of those.

I was one of the jerkoffs who tried to throw you off by voting multiple times..sorry about that ..

The Champ

eyedclaar wrote:

Par for the course, I suppose. How you been, Champ?

Busy fucking with young impressionable inner-city minds..I mean, teaching the appropriate curriculum as outlined by New York State and in accordance within the requirements established by the school's incompetent Prinicipal ..I hope things are going well for you out there in the shed??

decides2dream

The Champ wrote:

That's hilarious about the parents, but I don't see the harm in asking. Maybe you are nervous about asking as I know I was moreso than asking my wife..lol..but nonetheless it's a good gesture on your part and it'll make them feel respected and valued..no brainer really....but in any case, best of luck!! And btw, don't tell her about all of the corny survivor pj threads you start coz she may say no, rightfully so ..

hmmm.......there may not be any 'harm'...but quite honestly, it is an 'outmoded tradition' in the best of terms. i am glad my husband had the good sense to not ask my father's permission...b/c wtf does he need his permission for? he only needs me to agree. go ahead...call me a crazy feminist. it's ok.

walkunafraid

The Champ wrote:

Busy fucking with young impressionable inner-city minds..I mean, teaching the appropriate curriculum as outlined by New York State and in accordance within the requirements established by the school's incompetent Prinicipal ..I hope things are going well for you out there in the shed??

I hope you're not typing that on a school computer.

Big Brother is watching, you know.

eyedclaar

The Champ wrote:

Busy fucking with young impressionable inner-city minds..I mean, teaching the appropriate curriculum as outlined by New York State and in accordance within the requirements established by the school's incompetent Prinicipal ..I hope things are going well for you out there in the shed??

As well as can be expected. Winter is setting in so I need to skin a few more neighborhood cats to complete a coat.