What is it like being an "only child"?

Brain of J.Lo
Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
edited March 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Did anyone here grow up without siblings? What was it like? Do/did you ever wish it was different?
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  • GraySaturday
    GraySaturday Posts: 2,878
    while I'm not an only child, I was for the first 8 years of my life. It was actually wonderful for me. My parents treated me like a little adult. I didnt listen to kiddie music and watch Disney. We watched the world news with peter jennings every night and talked about current events and our days. I had a wonderful relationship with my patents. I remember when my brother was born and my parents had a lot less time for me but it didnt bother me. I would say that I would have been perfectly happy growing up as an only child. My brother and I have no relationship, mostly due to our age gap and his current age. My best advice to you: don't have them too far apart. I became his second mother/babysitter and he resented that. I would have loved to have a sibling close in age
  • xavier mcdaniel
    xavier mcdaniel Somewhere in NYC Posts: 9,464
    I am, it's not bad.
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  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    GraySaturday wrote:
    while I'm not an only child, I was for the first 8 years of my life. It was actually wonderful for me. My parents treated me like a little adult. I didnt listen to kiddie music and watch Disney. We watched the world news with peter jennings every night and talked about current events and our days. I had a wonderful relationship with my patents. I remember when my brother was born and my parents had a lot less time for me but it didnt bother me. I would say that I would have been perfectly happy growing up as an only child. My brother and I have no relationship, mostly due to our age gap and his current age. My best advice to you: don't have them too far apart. I became his second mother/babysitter and he resented that. I would have loved to have a sibling close in age


    Interesting. I have a similar experience but I am the younger one - by 9 years. When I think of my childhood I pretty much remember just me and my mom. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I felt like I had a sibling - b/c he wanted to be my 2nd father. UGH we hated each other. Thankfully he got married when I was about 18. So then again, it was like being an only child. I stayed home until I was 24. It wasn't until I was in my early 20's that we became close. We are best buddies now.....but it took a long time. And a lot of his wife interferring telling him to stop treating me like a child and acting like my father - finally he laid off :D but I must say, he still worries about me incessantly! Probably b/c our dad died when I was 25. Then he really felt he had to step in.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    GraySaturday wrote:
    while I'm not an only child, I was for the first 8 years of my life. It was actually wonderful for me. My parents treated me like a little adult. I didnt listen to kiddie music and watch Disney. We watched the world news with peter jennings every night and talked about current events and our days.

    I had a similar experience. Except, that my brother and sister are 17 and 15 years older than me! I was the only "child" in the house growing up, but I have two siblings....if that makes sense. :) I had to laugh about the world news w/ peter jennings...we did that, too! :D

    I totally understand what you're saying about the age difference. My husband has a brother 6 years younger, and they couldn't be more different. They get along ok, but would never make the choice to hang out together without the rest of the family present. On the other hand, my sister and I have been very close at times... Still, though, she is more like an aunt than a traditional sister. My brother and I are like acquaintances that happen to look alike. I loved being the only kid...but also sort of longed for as sibling close to my age growing up.

    I don't know whether to have another kid or not. Sometimes I think the desire to have more than one stems more from being able to relive the great moments of Annabelle's baby years as she gets older than it does wanting to have a bigger family. I just worry that I'll be depriving her if I don't give her a sibling.

    Sorry for the rambling. I'm all over the place. :D
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    GraySaturday wrote:
    while I'm not an only child, I was for the first 8 years of my life. It was actually wonderful for me. My parents treated me like a little adult. I didnt listen to kiddie music and watch Disney. We watched the world news with peter jennings every night and talked about current events and our days.

    I had a similar situation for my first 5 years. Before my brother was born I didn't even have a bedtime, and since both my parents worked, spending nights and weekends with them was a huge treat! after my brother was born my mum didn't to back to work for 10 years, and there was definitely more of a parent-kid divide. they suddenly seemed to get much stricter. being 5 year apart, we were at each other's throats, but now we are friends.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    xavier mcdaniel wrote:
    I am, it's not bad.

    Do you ever worry that the burden of caring for elderly parents will fall solely on your shoulders? (I don't know your personal situation, of course...but this is one thing I'm very curious about. And yes, I know that's a random thought, but I'm trying to cover all the bases while I worry about this. :D)
  • nfanel
    nfanel Posts: 2,558
    i'm one of five and i love being part of a big family! we are pretty spread out, too. my oldest brother is ten years older than me and my younger brother is seven years younger. when i was young it was a pretty big gap but now it doesn't feel like one at all...they are my best friends. i always feel sorry for only children, but maybe they feel the same way about people in big families. :D

    another thing that was nice is that when my dad passed away three years ago they were the only ones that could understand it. even for friends who lost parents...it wasn't the same as reliving those memories with my brothers/sisters.

    so i guess in summation, i'm pro-big family....haha.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    nfanel wrote:
    i'm one of five and i love being part of a big family! we are pretty spread out, too. my oldest brother is ten years older than me and my younger brother is seven years younger. when i was young it was a pretty big gap but now it doesn't feel like one at all...they are my best friends. i always feel sorry for only children, but maybe they feel the same way about people in big families. :D

    another thing that was nice is that when my dad passed away three years ago they were the only ones that could understand it. even for friends who lost parents...it wasn't the same as reliving those memories with my brothers/sisters.

    so i guess in summation, i'm pro-big family....haha.

    Thanks for that perspective. :)

    While I'll never have that many kids, you definitely highlighted the benefits of siblings. :)
  • Rygar
    Rygar Posts: 8,712
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    Do you ever worry that the burden of caring for elderly parents will fall solely on your shoulders? (I don't know your personal situation, of course...but this is one thing I'm very curious about. And yes, I know that's a random thought, but I'm trying to cover all the bases while I worry about this. :D)
    Not if he gets married, his wife can take care of that.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    Rygar wrote:
    Not if he gets married, his wife can take care of that.

    I don't know if you're serious here or not. :)

    But I don't expect my daughter's potential/possible future husband to be changing my diapers when I'm old. :D Ultimately, my care and/or my husband's care will be my daughter's sole responsibility....even if it's just making sure we're being regularly turned in our nursing home beds. :D
  • nfanel
    nfanel Posts: 2,558
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    Thanks for that perspective. :)

    While I'll never have that many kids, you definitely highlighted the benefits of siblings. :)
    i'll never have that many kids either. :D
  • Rygar
    Rygar Posts: 8,712
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    I don't know if you're serious here or not. :)

    But I don't expect my daughter's potential/possible future husband to be changing my diapers when I'm old. :D Ultimately, my care and/or my husband's care will be my daughter's sole responsibility....even if it's just making sure we're being regularly turned in our nursing home beds. :D
    I was not being serious ;)
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    Rygar wrote:
    I was not being serious ;)

    lol, ok good :D
  • Steve Dunne
    Steve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    nfanel wrote:
    i'll never have that many kids either. :D

    hey you can always have a 100% irish one! :p
    I love to turn you on
  • nfanel
    nfanel Posts: 2,558
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    lol, ok good :D
    oh yeah, my parents must've been nuts....haha....but it worked out good for us. :)

    when my brother got married, he and his wife (1 of 7 :eek: ) were so certain they wanted their kids to have big families like they did...they were convinced they'd have at *least* 4 or 5. they got to two and decided mmmm, that's enough. haha. (though they did end up having a third surpise...)
  • nfanel
    nfanel Posts: 2,558
    Steve Dunne wrote:
    hey you can always have a 100% irish one! :p
    not if the kid's mine i can't! :p are you offering your children to me? lol
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    and there was definitely more of a parent-kid divide. th

    I can imagine that. Right now, she just fits in with us and I assume she'll continue to as she gets older. If we have another kid...it'll feel like it's more "us" and "them", and sometimes "us" vs. "them".

    When I was pregnant, I was at a rock show and I saw this 20-something girl with her youngish parents. They were just hanging out together...like friends...and I just got the feeling that she was probably an only child who grew up "hanging out" with her parents. I like the idea of that. I just will feel bad if she grows up to think we're total douchebags, and then wishes she had a sibling with whom she could complain about us. :D
  • nfanel
    nfanel Posts: 2,558
    Brain of J.Lo wrote:
    I just would feel bad if she grew up to think we were total douchebags, and then wished she had a sibling with whom she could complain about us. :D
    lol. now there's a reason for having kids you don't hear every day. :D
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    nfanel wrote:
    oh yeah, my parents must've been nuts....haha....but it worked out good for us. :)

    when my brother got married, he and his wife (1 of 7 :eek: ) were so certain they wanted their kids to have big families like they did...they were convinced they'd have at *least* 4 or 5. they got to two and decided mmmm, that's enough. haha. (though they did end up having a third surpise...)

    lol, I don't think you're parents are nuts... Just so you know, that "ok, good" was directed at someone else! :D

    Though, this baby factory will be closing it's doors after baby #2. I'm too scared to go through more pregnancies than that. :D
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    nfanel wrote:
    lol. now there's a reason for having kids you don't hear every day. :D

    lol! :D

    I know. Like I said...covering all the bases! ;)

    I just know it's a big relief sometimes being able to complain about my mom to my sister! Only she can truly appreciate what I go through...lol. :D

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