Roommate Advice

ACCBootlegGoddess

ok aside from the don’t do the roommate stuff it doesn’t’ work comments, I
Need some advice.
I’ve been living with a friend of mine since last June (we’d known each other for 8 years prior to moving in together). Up until the end of 2007 everything was great. We got along really well…hell we even went to Vegas together. Starting Jan 1st she just stopped talking to me (and started hording some of her stuff). I have no idea what I did to deserve this. The only conflict we've had was over a dvd. I wanted to fast forward something and she didn't. There was no yelling match or insults or anything like that. She gave in conceded to me...and got really huffy and snippy after.
I apologized but said I thought she was overreacting to the whole thing...that she was being selfish and immature in getting so huffy and slamming cupboard doors and stuff.
She told me to fuck off and has barely spoken to me since. I know there HAS to be people here that react to anger by shutting the person out and making things worse by not communicating.
For those people...is there anything the object of your anger can do to help resolve the situation or are we screwed till you decide your ready to talk??

I already tried the letter thing and that didn't work. I am willing to give her space but this is just getting ridiculous now and is starting to piss me off.
If I had done something really hurtful to her I'd understand her reaction and stuff but I didn't. Granted I shouldn't have called her immature andn selfish...I admit that...and if she'd fuckin speak to me I'd tell her as much.
Anyways any advice other than move out? (have a lease till June)

mookie9999

ACCBootlegGoddess wrote:

Anyways any advice other than move out? (have a lease till June)

Sublet

ACCBootlegGoddess

mookie9999 wrote:

Sublet

LOL I shoulda seen that coming haha.

mookie9999

ACCBootlegGoddess wrote:

LOL I shoulda seen that coming haha.

I'm serious. I normally don't do rentals but I just rented an apartment to 3 recently graduated girls who were already ready to kill each other prior to the move in. I'm waiting for the call that they all moved out and no one is paying the rent.

Kilgore_Trout

sounds like a pretty stubborn person... if i were you id just stick it out til june and find someone else to live with... itll be here before you know it... i understand uncomfortable roommate situations too... my roommate was dating my ex-gf for awhile... i guess id rather that than have him acting like an asshole tho.. women are just more difficult

PJPixie

AAAahhhhhh Mel, situations like this suck. Take the high road on this. Don't be immature and pissy like she seems to be doing. Life is too short to be pissed off all the time. She's probably spending so much time and effort showing you how pissed off she is that i'm sure she's making herself miserable. Don't let it make you miserable. Good Luck!

justam

ACCBootlegGoddess wrote:

ok aside from the don’t do the roommate stuff it doesn’t’ work comments, I
Need some advice.
I’ve been living with a friend of mine since last June (we’d known each other for 8 years prior to moving in together). Up until the end of 2007 everything was great. We got along really well…hell we even went to Vegas together. Starting Jan 1st she just stopped talking to me (and started hording some of her stuff). I have no idea what I did to deserve this. The only conflict we've had was over a dvd. I wanted to fast forward something and she didn't. There was no yelling match or insults or anything like that. She gave in conceded to me...and got really huffy and snippy after.
I apologized but said I thought she was overreacting to the whole thing...that she was being selfish and immature in getting so huffy and slamming cupboard doors and stuff.
She told me to fuck off and has barely spoken to me since. I know there HAS to be people here that react to anger by shutting the person out and making things worse by not communicating.
For those people...is there anything the object of your anger can do to help resolve the situation or are we screwed till you decide your ready to talk??

I already tried the letter thing and that didn't work. I am willing to give her space but this is just getting ridiculous now and is starting to piss me off.
If I had done something really hurtful to her I'd understand her reaction and stuff but I didn't. Granted I shouldn't have called her immature andn selfish...I admit that...and if she'd fuckin speak to me I'd tell her as much.
Anyways any advice other than move out? (have a lease till June)

It sounds like her feelings have been hurt.

From what I remember of her, she's a rather passionate person, isn't she? You may need to do several apology-type gestures. Leave her a very nice note, bring flowers or something else she'd like BESIDES asking her to talk to you.

My sister is like this...you have to do things more than once and THEN give her room to talk also.

roar

good luck to you. i've been in situations with problem roommates before. it sucks way more when you start off as friends.

fanch75

ACCBootlegGoddess wrote:

She gave in conceded to me...and got really huffy and snippy after.
I apologized but said I thought she was overreacting to the whole thing...that she was being selfish and immature in getting so huffy and slamming cupboard doors and stuff.
She told me to fuck off and has barely spoken to me since.

Snoop Dogg was so right when he said that bytchez ain't shyt.

http://homepages.slingshot.co.nz/~bites/snoop_bitch_please.jpg

Cosmo

Hey Kiddo...
Here's my advice... take the high road and apologise (even if you don't feel you are at fault). It's easier to clear the air than to leave it heavy with unnecessary drama. You have been friends too long to let something that is nothing be the cause of its demise.
...
and make up by having a bra and panties pillow fight and sending me a copy of it.
peace...

RolandTD20Kdrummer

I think she changed teams and has feeling for you.

This may be a good time to explore yourself.

PJPixie

fanch75 wrote:

Snoop Dogg was so right when he said that bytchez ain't shyt.

http://homepages.slingshot.co.nz/~bites/snoop_bitch_please.jpg

Fanch, your sig line is hilarious!!

GreenTeaDisease

my college roommate did almost the exact same thing! I didn't even know what I did to make her so mad until our mutual friends told me, and it was not a big deal at all. I have no advice for you. After a while I just stopped being friends with this girl because it was just too high maintenance and too much drama (though she has just come back into my life all of a sudden after several years). If people are that sensitive, there's not really much you can do about it...

brain of c

cut her into little pieces, stuff her into baggies, put them in the freezer and on your way out, set the apartment on fire.

DopeyBoy

Come stay with me

Peace
:-p

Jeremy1012

I live with 6 people and dislike all but 2 of them.

My advice is, be a complete twat and drive her out

brainofPJ

Jeremy1012 wrote:

I live with 6 people and dislike all but 2 of them.

My advice is, be a complete twat and drive her out

yea, i'm with this post.

she sounds like a child anyway.

DopeyBoy

Jeremy1012 wrote:

I live with 6 people and dislike all but 2 of them.

My advice is, be a complete twat and drive her out

Haha, I love that word...twat...

Peace
:-p

ACCBootlegGoddess

Cosmo wrote:

Hey Kiddo...
Here's my advice... take the high road and apologise (even if you don't feel you are at fault). It's easier to clear the air than to leave it heavy with unnecessary drama. You have been friends too long to let something that is nothing be the cause of its demise.
...
and make up by having a bra and panties pillow fight and sending me a copy of it.
peace...

Hey Cosmo!!
I have apologized to her TWICE! I guess she just isn't ready to hear it. It would help if I knew what the fuck I did. I can't see it being soley over that dvd situation I told u about. Maybe she was really hurt by my calling her immature and selfish. (and she WAS being being both...and if it was me acting that way I'd want someone to put me in my place so I know and can learn from it...but thats me, I'm not her).
I've decided to give her another week and if she's still being stupid then I'll either leave her another note or send her an e-mail in which I address those comments and apologize for them.

ACCBootlegGoddess

justam wrote:

It sounds like her feelings have been hurt.

From what I remember of her, she's a rather passionate person, isn't she? You may need to do several apology-type gestures. Leave her a very nice note, bring flowers or something else she'd like BESIDES asking her to talk to you.

My sister is like this...you have to do things more than once and THEN give her room to talk also.

Hey girlie

I have apologized twice. I'll have to think of a gesture to go along with the note I plan to leave. Can't do flowers cause a) she's not really a flower person and b)her dog and my cat will eat it.
Can't do chocolate cause we have so much in the apartment already from Christmas and New Years.
Hmm I have some time...I'll think of something.

I know this will blow over eventually. I'm just surprised as she's a very in your face kinda person...usually will tell you flat out if you've pissed her off. When I made the immature comments I was expecting an argument so she could get that anger out...this is very out of character for her.

ACCBootlegGoddess

PJPixie wrote:

AAAahhhhhh Mel, situations like this suck. Take the high road on this. Don't be immature and pissy like she seems to be doing. Life is too short to be pissed off all the time. She's probably spending so much time and effort showing you how pissed off she is that i'm sure she's making herself miserable. Don't let it make you miserable. Good Luck!

Haha this is true.
I've been taking the high road and trying to be the bigger person here. Its just been kinda lonely...and the more I think about what this is over the more it makes me angry...cause its just so STUPID.
Does she have a right to be angry...sure...but not to THIS extent shit.

Anyways thanks Tiff. I'm sure it'll work itself out eventually.