I was just saying that people who are not parents can understand what you are feeling. my german sucks now but...Deine Problems sind nicht nur die Problems von Mutters (ok, that probably made it worse )
I used to think the same thing and then I had a child. Thats not a diss either, its just the way it is.
Try getting her on a napping schedule. That will allow you to do the things you need to....alone.
All that's sacred, comes from youth....dedications, naive and true.
I used to think the same thing and then I had a child. Thats not a diss either, its just the way it is.
Try getting her on a napping schedule. That will allow you to do the things you need to....alone.
well I didn't know how to really translate what I was saying to LG. I'm saying that she feels lonely and depressed and frustrated...some of that does not have to do with the baby and the crying- a lot of it is because she is stuck at home caring for the baby with no family and friends in the area. In that situation, you don't have to be a parent to offer advice. Helen made some good points about seeking out other mothers, etc.
Lady... the truth is probably none of us parents has had it as hard as you are having it. I was also in a new city, without any family when I had my child, but at least I could speak the language. I had to work and study, so my parents visited for a while and then Leonardo started going to daycare at six months. That was hard in its own way, but if at all possible, I would encourage you to consider childcare, even if it is just for a couple of hours a week.
The other thing is... babies do cry. As long as she is not crying because she is hungry or tired (that is one of the most overlooked reasons for crying, I think), you may let her cry a little
... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
Lady... you are having the problems a young mother would have, discovering each stage of the baby's developement and not quite sure what to do! But I think your main problem seems to be your isolation and your loneliness. It IS easier if you can go to the park, meet other mums, talk, etc. but obviously with the language problem.... but....! Look.. I googled and found this http://www.valenciatrader.com/valencia/valenciaschools/germanschool .... a german school in valencia. Now you say that your little one is too young for school! But what this means is that there is enough of a german community in your city to warrant a school. Some of these mothers will also have younger children and most probably will be stay at home mums. Can I suggest you call the school, explain very briefly your situation and ask for some contact numbers for german speaking clubs, etc. Schools would know things like that.
I know the whole idea is to integrate, etc., but you need to feel well within you to be able to put yourself out to the world. Once you have made a few friends (german ones!) and feel you have a lil' community around you, you will be so much more open to going out there in the Spanish 'world', learn the language, etc.
Start with the community you know, then go tackle the rest.
i have no idea wha to do ..sarah,my daughter she is cute and amazing but she cries a lot specially when i am alone with her ...and when i want to play etc. alone
what can i do ...
i am loosing my power...
she really needs so much atention
It's time to get pregnant again. Before you know it, she will have somebody else to play with and they will become best friends.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Lady... you are having the problems a young mother would have, discovering each stage of the baby's developement and not quite sure what to do! But I think your main problem seems to be your isolation and your loneliness. It IS easier if you can go to the park, meet other mums, talk, etc. but obviously with the language problem.... but....! Look.. I googled and found this http://www.valenciatrader.com/valencia/valenciaschools/germanschool .... a german school in valencia. Now you say that your little one is too young for school! But what this means is that there is enough of a german community in your city to warrant a school. Some of these mothers will also have younger children and most probably will be stay at home mums. Can I suggest you call the school, explain very briefly your situation and ask for some contact numbers for german speaking clubs, etc. Schools would know things like that.
I know the whole idea is to integrate, etc., but you need to feel well within you to be able to put yourself out to the world. Once you have made a few friends (german ones!) and feel you have a lil' community around you, you will be so much more open to going out there in the Spanish 'world', learn the language, etc.
Start with the community you know, then go tackle the rest.
Can I hire you as life coach?
You are just brilliant.
... and the will to show I will always be better than before.
I really didn't like the baby phase while I was in the middle of it with my daughter, who is now 7 years old.
She would play by herself for about 30 minutes while I took a shower and got ready in the morning, but I had to leave some music on and put like a gazillion toys around her so she would have lots to look at and touch.
Can you leave her for a short time (even just 2 minutes) and then come back and talk to her and then gradually extend that time? Does that make sense?
Each child is so different but I think some general things work for all types of children.
Set a routine for sleep (put the baby down for a nap and bedtime at the same time daily), set a routine for eating her meals, and then, be alert for things that might be making her uncomfortable--wet diaper? twisted clothes? tight shoes? too hot? too cold? bored?
If all else fails in this "discomfort check", pick her up and hold her. Sometimes babies get indigestion and need comfort or bouncing around.
Cooing and singing to her is never a bad idea either.
i have no idea wha to do ..sarah,my daughter she is cute and amazing but she cries a lot specially when i am alone with her ...and when i want to play etc. alone
what can i do ...
i am loosing my power...
she really needs so much atention
there is something called the baby bjorn that you can strap the baby onto you - sorta like a back pack. you can put the baby in front of you facing forward or towards you or on your back. this helps you at least get some stuff done and keeps the baby happy to be near you. some babies love it - some hate it. just a suggestion.
my baby was spoiled. attached to me at the hip all day long. never in a basinette or stroller or carriage. so i may not be the best to give advice!! but he RARELY ever cried.
Can I hire you as life coach?
You are just brilliant.
You make me laugh! It is always so much easier to 'see' things when you are removed from the situation. It's easy to offer advice (do this, do that..) but when YOU are in the situation, it is a lot more difficult to see a bit more clearly and act upon things. I'm sure Lady has thought about the german community in her area but when you feel a bit down and feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, it is very difficult to find the energy to do what you need to do.
thanx for all the advises etc. i think i have to find ground here also
learn the language etc.
i start language school soon ..my bf and i want to share the 40 hours if possible bec. of the little one;)
i ha met a spanish mum too in the park just small and simple talking but a beginning maybe ..
and i have to be more selfashure ...
Hey sweetie....always thinking about you and sending good vibes your way. It is so hard to be a first time parent, what you are feeling is very normal. The number one bit of advice I can offer is.....lots of fresh air and sunshine. Get outside with her and walk. This is how I survived having 4 baby boys in a 6.5 year span.
oxc
~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown
Comments
Try getting her on a napping schedule. That will allow you to do the things you need to....alone.
well I didn't know how to really translate what I was saying to LG. I'm saying that she feels lonely and depressed and frustrated...some of that does not have to do with the baby and the crying- a lot of it is because she is stuck at home caring for the baby with no family and friends in the area. In that situation, you don't have to be a parent to offer advice. Helen made some good points about seeking out other mothers, etc.
The other thing is... babies do cry. As long as she is not crying because she is hungry or tired (that is one of the most overlooked reasons for crying, I think), you may let her cry a little
I know the whole idea is to integrate, etc., but you need to feel well within you to be able to put yourself out to the world. Once you have made a few friends (german ones!) and feel you have a lil' community around you, you will be so much more open to going out there in the Spanish 'world', learn the language, etc.
Start with the community you know, then go tackle the rest.
It's time to get pregnant again. Before you know it, she will have somebody else to play with and they will become best friends.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Can I hire you as life coach?
You are just brilliant.
She would play by herself for about 30 minutes while I took a shower and got ready in the morning, but I had to leave some music on and put like a gazillion toys around her so she would have lots to look at and touch.
Can you leave her for a short time (even just 2 minutes) and then come back and talk to her and then gradually extend that time? Does that make sense?
Babies. They are so freaking needy.
Set a routine for sleep (put the baby down for a nap and bedtime at the same time daily), set a routine for eating her meals, and then, be alert for things that might be making her uncomfortable--wet diaper? twisted clothes? tight shoes? too hot? too cold? bored?
If all else fails in this "discomfort check", pick her up and hold her. Sometimes babies get indigestion and need comfort or bouncing around.
Cooing and singing to her is never a bad idea either.
P.S. If she's very tired she may cry a lot too.
there is something called the baby bjorn that you can strap the baby onto you - sorta like a back pack. you can put the baby in front of you facing forward or towards you or on your back. this helps you at least get some stuff done and keeps the baby happy to be near you. some babies love it - some hate it. just a suggestion.
my baby was spoiled. attached to me at the hip all day long. never in a basinette or stroller or carriage. so i may not be the best to give advice!! but he RARELY ever cried.
teething pain perhaps?
does your baby have a security blanket or stuffed animal?
That might help (although you will have spearation issues later)
Babies cry, its not a reflection on your skills as a mother!
learn the language etc.
i start language school soon ..my bf and i want to share the 40 hours if possible bec. of the little one;)
i ha met a spanish mum too in the park just small and simple talking but a beginning maybe ..
and i have to be more selfashure ...
oxc
*May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
— Unknown