bathroom etiquette at the office

Steve Dunne

Our office boss unleashes hell in our men's room. If I see him go in there, I hold it for at least an hour.

Best time to go...230pm.

Kilgore_Trout

jeez... when ya gotta go ya gotta go... nothing feels better than a big poo and theres no reason to be embarrassed about it... IMO

westsidepie

sgossard3 wrote:

jeez... when ya gotta go ya gotta go... nothing feels better than a big poo and theres no reason to be embarrassed about it... IMO

That would make a great country song. I can hear Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, The Dixie Chicks, Hank Williams Jr. singing:

"Nothing feels better than a big poo.."

How about adding some more lines?

eyedclaar

westsidepie wrote:

That would make a great country song. I can hear Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, The Dixie Chicks, Hank Williams Jr. singing:

"Nothing feels better than a big poo.."

How about adding some more lines?

Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo

There's your chorus...

decides2dream

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=270704



i will never understand.......:o



and i have to agee about the leainvg 'space' between stalls when possible. i mean truly, wtf? i think women in general have much more 'shy' habits when it comes to such things, but absolutely...there ARe scary exceptions.

overall, outside the cell phone thing...our office restroom etiquette is in pretty damn fine form, as are the restrooms themselves, so it's good.

AllNiteThing

Ewww. Once in my dorms I went to the communal bathroom stall in the hall and there was, shall we say a 'mess' all over the toilet, floor and walls around it. I have no idea how that could have happened, like someone just backed up to the toilet standing there and bent over. We had a rather 'large' guy living in one of the dorms there, whom I always figured was the culprit. I just can't understand how that can happen and you just walk off and leave it for someone else.

edvedder913

decides2dream wrote:

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=270704



i will never understand.......:o



and i have to agee about the leainvg 'space' between stalls when possible. i mean truly, wtf? i think women in general have much more 'shy' habits when it comes to such things, but absolutely...there ARe scary exceptions.

overall, outside the cell phone thing...our office restroom etiquette is in pretty damn fine form, as are the restrooms themselves, so it's good.

haha yeah i have seen that. truly amazing....

westsidepie

eyedclaar wrote:

Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo

There's your chorus...

OK, here is verse 1

I woke up this morning feeling bloated with gas
I knew it was time for a load to pass
so I grabbed my cigarettes
brewed some bean
headed off to the latrine
while singing this song

Chorus
Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo

SilverSeed

It's threads like these that make the pit so damn awesome...

I have a buddy (who will go unidentified as he posts on here...) who can do things to a toilet you couldn't imagine. At his old work, he would go to OTHER PEOPLE'S FLOORS to do his business. Then return to his office on his floor. Truly a sick fuck...

As a sidenote, he wants to start a website called awaydumps.com or something like that. Basically a datebase of good toilets to use in public.

Thanks again for this thread!

failedpersephone

I have been in a restroom when this woman that works in an office down the hall came in there and started going "OH my oh nooo OH Dear God! Uhhhh...oh no..noooo...*sniffle* oh..oh Excuse me oh no...uh oh!" the excuse me line was when I asked her if everything was alright...

all of that was accompanied by a LOT of very loud "dirt bomber" booming farts...and some lighter wet and squishies...

I was so embarrassed and sad for her...she sounded so upset about what whas coming out of her butt.


I think she was burping at the same time.

edvedder913

failedpersephone wrote:

I have been in a restroom when this woman that works in an office down the hall came in there and started going "OH my oh nooo OH Dear God! Uhhhh...oh no..noooo...*sniffle* oh..oh Excuse me oh no...uh oh!" the excuse me line was when I asked her if everything was alright...

all of that was accompanied by a LOT of very loud "dirt bomber" booming farts...and some lighter wet and squishies...

I was so embarrassed and sad for her...she sounded so upset about what whas coming out of her butt.


I think she was burping at the same time.

squishes!!!!!!!!!! i almost spit out my water.....hahaha

eyedclaar

westsidepie wrote:

OK, here is verse 1

I woke up this morning feeling bloated with gas
I knew it was time for a load to pass
so I grabbed my cigarettes
brewed some bean
headed off to the latrine
while singing this song

Chorus
Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo

2nd verse:

Last night is total blur
Too many shots with a fugly girl
Taco bell wrappers in my bed
Swore I’d never drink and then eat
At that place again
Must exorcise the demon
Or I won’t last long
Off to the stall to sing my song

Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo

Steve Dunne

failedpersephone wrote:

I have been in a restroom when this woman that works in an office down the hall came in there and started going "OH my oh nooo OH Dear God! Uhhhh...oh no..noooo...*sniffle* oh..oh Excuse me oh no...uh oh!" the excuse me line was when I asked her if everything was alright...

all of that was accompanied by a LOT of very loud "dirt bomber" booming farts...and some lighter wet and squishies...

I was so embarrassed and sad for her...she sounded so upset about what whas coming out of her butt.


I think she was burping at the same time.

i somehow knew you wouldn't be far away from this thread!

kh65

eyedclaar wrote:

Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo

There's your chorus...

This is the refrain for PJ's 2008 Christmas Single!!!

The song title is "We are all full of Shit"

edvedder913

eyedclaar wrote:

2nd verse:

Last night is total blur
Too many shots with a fugly girl
Taco bell wrappers in my bed
Swore I’d never drink and then eat
At that place again
Must exorcise the demon
Or I won’t last long
Off to the stall to sing my song

Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo

great take on country lyrics

off to the stall to sing my song....lol

ohhhh i needed this laugh today........

Steve Dunne

eyedclaar wrote:

2nd verse:

Last night is total blur
Too many shots with a fugly girl
Taco bell wrappers in my bed
Swore I’d never drink and then eat
At that place again
Must exorcise the demon
Or I won’t last long
Off to the stall to sing my song

Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo

i'm diggin' this tune you have here...although i'm singing it like molly hatchet's 'flirtin' with disaster'. and if you're taking requests...how about a verse about 'i gambled and lost'

kh65

SilverSeed wrote:

It's threads like these that make the pit so damn awesome...

I have a buddy (who will go unidentified as he posts on here...) who can do things to a toilet you couldn't imagine. At his old work, he would go to OTHER PEOPLE'S FLOORS to do his business. Then return to his office on his floor. Truly a sick fuck...

As a sidenote, he wants to start a website called awaydumps.com or something like that. Basically a datebase of good toilets to use in public.

Thanks again for this thread!

Try this.... http://www.urinal.net I can't check it from work but it has ones from all over the world. The best was Afganistan and Cairo was pretty bad, too.

failedpersephone

Steve Dunne wrote:

i somehow knew you wouldn't be far away from this thread!

well this happened like 3 years ago and I STILL turn a little pink when i have to see this woman in her office! hahahahaa

She is also solely responsible for my "phony bathroom meltdown" that I reenact in club bathrooms. (I hate clubs.) I like to see how fast I can clear the bathroom...I have found that if I make realistic fart sounds and bang the sides of the stall and then groan with fear and whimper a little...it only takes 3-5 minutes before all the little cha-cha girlz are out of the mirror line...

and now I can fix my lipstick and check that my bewbs are firmly in their cups.

That being said, I have come across a great many floaters in my office bathrooms...and once there was a smearing...that kinda scared me.

girls are dirty and gross. :(

Zanne

This reminds me of the "How to poo at work" fax I received at my office about 3 years ago.

Kilgore_Trout

eyedclaar wrote:

2nd verse:

Last night is total blur
Too many shots with a fugly girl
Taco bell wrappers in my bed
Swore I’d never drink and then eat
At that place again
Must exorcise the demon
Or I won’t last long
Off to the stall to sing my song

Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo

3rd verse:

As it turned out
They were several smaller poos
the kind that splash ya when they land
moistening the dingleberry left behind
but other than that to my success
when i wiped i found no mess
a 1 wiper is a sign of good things ahead

Mornin' coffee and a cigarette too
nothing feels better than a big ol' poo