Social Anxiety..

audiodave

LikeAnOcean wrote:

All right, who has it? And how bad?

Don't know if I have it, or ever did, but I used to get very stressed out at even the thought of certain situations. Doesn't seem to be as bad anymore as I have much more confidence than I used to.

In some situations, I could talk to anyone, regardless of whether I knew them or not (this was usually at work), yet in any other situation, I would become pertified at even the prospect of talking to or interacting with people I didn't know. Some days it was so bad that if I did leave the house, I wouldn't be able to look anyone in the eye. Several times I found myself struggling to breathe just before going into a situation I found intimidating.

I used to "deal" with it by just not putting myself in the kind of situations that I found intimidating, not that really was dealing with it. I think what really helped me was actually going on tour to see PJ, in a few different countries, with people I had never met. By all means, it could have been a disaster, and I could have been really uncomfortable the whole time, but at the very least I would have got to see a band I love. But since then I don't seem to be bothered by these things as much as I used to be.

FinsburyParkCarrots

I've no problems with socialising - when I want to. But, say, before a gig, I hate smalltalk with the other acts on the bill. I want them all to fuck off so I can play my guitar before a show. I guess I'm just rude.

vedderfan10

Fins, isn't that performance anxiety? Deep breathe or something...maybe...

I have a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder...when I worry about the future and things that piss me off and what I said to someone five years ago and why do they hate me...how can I make it right? The next time I talk to them I'm gonna say...or why didn't I say such and such the last time I talked to them...and why do those people let their dog wander around and what if they serve scalloped potatoes, I hate those, I'm sure I told them, but why won't they listen to me...why does my boss hate me...and on and on. Didn't sleep for months. Didn't want to leave the house...

Anyway, to get over this (after the meds kicked in), I bought tickets to a PJ concert and immersed myself in people...Loved the show, but I still felt oddly out of place and worried about what people thought about my behaviour...but by the time we got to the Gorge shows, wow...not a problem anymore...

I'm told that this is very very common and when I type those consults, some of them really hit home with me...maybe a little too closely sometimes...But yeah, I take Celexa and it stopped the ruminating thoughts almost immediately...

Sounds like some of you have the same issues...and while sad, it's nice to know we are not alone...

~Hollywood Madam~

LikeAnOcean wrote:

All right, who has it? And how bad?

I'm pretty sure I have it, and its genetic. I have a hard time focusing. I'm totally cool with people I know pretty well, but dating and interviewing life has been hell. And people who don't suffer from it think your insane, which I can understand why they'd feel that way, seeing as I believe there is no reason I should feel anxiety, just gotta learn to control it.

Just had one of those rare parent/child conversations with my mom and she says she had the same thing, but it got a lot better when she entered her early thirties..

Thoughts?

Reason I've got this on my mind is I blew of a first date tonight (keep in mind, someone I've never met from online dating), because I'm feeling anxious, probably exaggerated from drinking too much with friends last night.. I'm feeling pretty shitty about it now.


I think if I start practicing meditation I'll improve my ability to control and eliminate negative thoughts.

Hmm..

You poor thing. You need a good woman to straighten you out

Drowned Out

LikeAnOcean wrote:

All right, who has it? And how bad?
..

Every single message pit member with more than 1000 posts, whether they admit it or not.

I could probably be diagnosed with some fancy new disorder, with a grocery-list-of-side-effects miracle pill to treat it...just to get over what would have been called 'shyness' 15 years ago.

I'm sure for some people it's an issue, but for me it's nothing I'm willing to accept a prescription for. If it became an issue for me, I'd read up on it and get a better understanding of it so that I could recognize what was happening to me, both in mind and body....talk to someone if that didn't help. Pills should be the last resort...I've seen a lot of 'anxious' people end up on Ativan, that shit can mess you up....

intothejam

I have SA, and can relate to people in this thread. Its been a struggle for me since I was a kid. Its worth seeking help if you believe you have it, or it will just hang on you and get worse and simply not go away. Don't feel embarrassed because you are not alone my friends. If anyone would like to talk about it, feel free to PM me.

FinsburyParkCarrots

Vedderfan10 wrote:

Fins, isn't that performance anxiety? Deep breathe or something...maybe...

Nah, I don't get anxious about it. I just find would-be rock stars irritating fucks and I want them out of my face while I'm warming up my fingers for playing.

catefrances

cutback wrote:

been anti social since i was a kid....but i don't mind it really....when i need to i can muster a charming persona but it's exhusting....i know exactly how you feel about blowing off the blind date...i won't do blind dates....i HATE small talk mostly cuz i probably don't care about what we're talking about

anyway, i know what you're talking about but really have no answers...as i said it really doesn't bother me

you are inside my head mister. i knew there were more people like me. alien children as KC calls them.

norm

catefrances wrote:

you are inside my head mister. i knew there were more people like me. alien children as KC calls them.

yea but you were at least social enough to have kids....i'm hardcore antisocial!

Lizard

cutback wrote:

.when i need to i can muster a charming persona but it's exhusting...

Dude!!!! So the 2 times we have talked it was like torture, huh?



:(

eyedclaar

I have something more akin to social antagonism. I don't really care for social situations (being around people I don't know) all that much but I'm not anxious or nervous. I'm usually just imagining what might happen if I had a bomb strapped to my chest.

norm

Lizard wrote:

Dude!!!! So the 2 times we have talked it was like torture, huh?



:(

yep!

but see we already know each other...besides you're a hoot and holler to hang out with

MonsterOfTheMidway

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

I've no problems with socialising - when I want to. But, say, before a gig, I hate smalltalk with the other acts on the bill. I want them all to fuck off so I can play my guitar before a show. I guess I'm just rude.

I'm pretty sure this is just being an asshole musician.

catch22

MonsterOfTheMidway wrote:

I'm pretty sure this is just being an asshole musician.

isn't "asshole musician" kinda redundant?

MonsterOfTheMidway

catch22 wrote:

isn't "asshole musician" kinda redundant?

no

catefrances

cutback wrote:

yea but you were at least social enough to have kids....i'm hardcore antisocial!

aaah the power of alcohol.

MattCameronKicksButt

I'm definitely like that but I don't know when it's going to occur. Most times I will happily chat to strangers in the street about the weather or whatever but can't deal with social gatherings and need to go to the toilet to break away from it for a while.
And then other times, I feel so arrogant and not shy at all.

dunkman

cutback wrote:

i HATE small talk mostly cuz i probably don't care about what we're talking about

anyway, i know what you're talking about but really have no answers...as i said it really doesn't bother me

i'm awful at small talk.. i just dont care enough... its selfish i know... but i want people to make me laugh or summat... i dont give a flying fuck if their dog has cataracts or their kid got a B grade in French... rubbish stuff... now engage me in a conversation about the time you met 3 Ukranian strippers in a deserted ski lodge and I'm all ears.

MattCameronKicksButt

cutback wrote:

i HATE small talk mostly cuz i probably don't care about what we're talking about

dunkman wrote:

i'm awful at small talk.. i just dont care enough...

(I) find it depends on who you're talking to. Some people are easier to listen to than others. I mean, it's easy to listen to friends telling you about X,Y and Z because you care about them but aquaintances, not so much maybe.

iluvcats

I have never liked small talk with strangers. Today at work, I was really tired and lightheaded. These two elderly strangers -- men -- were trying to act silly and talk to me on the elevator and it was very hard for me to laugh (fake) and smile at them. Maybe if I would have barfed on their shoes, it would have given them something to talk about?