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Need dating advice from the females here..

LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
edited February 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Nevermind.. She likes me! :D
Post edited by Unknown User on
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  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,290
    I'm not a female, but I'd give it one more shot...or call.

    I went out with a couple of girls in college that more or less would only really open up after a few drinks. That was fine the first couple of times out, but it was like pulling teeth after a while and I stopped calling them. Maybe she just feels uncomfortable just "shooting the shit" until she gets to know you.
    I dunno.

    Like I said, I'd call her once more and see if she wants to go out. If not, then it's on her terms and I'd just let "that one" go.
  • DaytimeDilemmaDaytimeDilemma Posts: 2,008
    Call does not equal text.



    Fuck those who think otherwise.
  • boxwine_in_hellboxwine_in_hell Posts: 1,263
    Everything will change after you nail her.
    one foot in the door
    the other foot in the gutter
    sweet smell that they adore
    I think I'd rather smother
    -The Replacements-
  • AllieAllie Posts: 2,908
    I think (and no offense)
    either
    (a) if she were really interested, she would have made the plans already

    or

    (b) maybe she is doing that whole stupid 'hard to get' thing by acting 'busy'
    "...like a word misplaced, nothing said, what a waste.."
    "Sometimes life should be consumed in measured doses"
    6-01-06
    6/25/08
    Free Speedy
    and Metsy!
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    mca47 wrote:
    Like I said, I'd call her once more and see if she wants to go out. If not, then it's on her terms and I'd just let "that one" go.
    Since she appears to be "busy" this week, instead of calling her back again because of the stage of sober awkwardness we seem to be in, would it be more appropriate for me to throw her an email a few days from now?
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    Thinking about it now, I think I'm in that stage where I need to play it cool and stop thinking about it. If she calls me back, great! The balls back in my court, if not I should probably move on.
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,290
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    Since she appears to be "busy" this week, instead of calling her back again because of the stage of sober awkwardness we seem to be in, would it be more appropriate for me to throw her an email a few days from now?

    Nah, I'm not a fan of texts or emails. I really think they are impersonable and you and her can read things the wrong way. If she said she's busy this weekend (which is possible), I'd call her next Tuesday or Wednesday and see if she wants to go out the following weekend. If you get more BS or another "I'm busy" then I'd just say "Well, if you ever want to hang out you have my number..." and leave it at that.
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    Thank God I'm not the only one who doesn't like dating! :D

    I say, if you want to go out with her and she said she might be available on Saturday, call her on Thursday or Friday to check in. Nothing wrong with showing interest. Just because she has a busy schedule doesn't mean she's not interested too. Personally, I like it when a guy is understanding of my busy schedule. And I like it when guys call when they say they will, and are consistent and sincere.

    Sounds to me like y'all are getting to know each other and having a few drinks helps you both loosen up, which might explain why tonight's conversation seemed awkward. If she continued the conversation even though it was awkward, that's got to be a good sign, right?
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    mca47 wrote:
    Nah, I'm not a fan of texts or emails. I really think they are impersonable and you and her can read things the wrong way. If she said she's busy this weekend (which is possible), I'd call her next Tuesday or Wednesday and see if she wants to go out the following weekend. If you get more BS or another "I'm busy" then I'd just say "Well, if you ever want to hang out you have my number..." and leave it at that.
    But do you think over a week with no contact at all would be bad?
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    scb wrote:
    If she continued the conversation even though it was awkward, that's got to be a good sign, right?
    Thats the one thing that seems to keep it going for me. For every dumb thing I came up with to talk about, she seemed to think of two dumb things just to keep the conversation going.. maybe I'll give her one more call this friday about Saturday.
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,290
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    But do you think over a week with no contact at all would be bad?

    Not at all, if anything it will show her you aren't needy/desperate and also have your own life. Make plans with your buddies this weekend and go out and try to meet more girls. If anything if you do go out again you can tell her you went out with your buddies and had a great time. If she is playing games (which many do) then you really put the ball in her court.
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    Thinking about it now, I think I'm in that stage where I need to play it cool and stop thinking about it. If she calls me back, great! The balls back in my court, if not I should probably move on.

    How did your conversation end? Did she say she would call you or did you say you would call her?

    Either way, you should only move on if/when:

    A) She makes it clear that she's not interested. (Being busy means nothing.)
    -or-
    B) You have sincerely lost interest. (Thinking she has lost interest is not the same.)

    That's just my 2 cents. (But do I get extra points because I have a vagina? :))

    (Wait - did that come out wrong?)
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,290
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    Thats the one thing that seems to keep it going for me. For every dumb thing I came up with to talk about, she seemed to think of two dumb things just to keep the conversation going.. maybe I'll give her one more call this friday about Saturday.

    Don't do it man, I'm telling you...wait till next week!
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    For the record...dating sucks ass.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    mca47 wrote:
    Don't do it man, I'm telling you...wait till next week!
    Ok.. probably not a bad Idea. If she's really into me, she may try calling me if she doesn't hear from me all week. Up until this point we have been communicating in one way or another no more that two days apart.
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,290
    AmentsChick wrote:
    For the record...dating sucks ass.

    I actually. like dating. I hate girls that play games and leave them at that.
    Those that like to go out and have a good time makes it all worth while! (No, I don't mean it like that...I just like meeting and learning about new people)
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    mca47 wrote:
    Don't do it man, I'm telling you...wait till next week!

    No, no! BE SINCERE! BE SINCERE! :p

    If you feel like seeing her, call her. If you don't, don't. What is this - some kind of competition about who can seem less interested?
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    scb wrote:
    No, no! BE SINCERE! BE SINCERE! :p

    If you feel like seeing her, call her. If you don't, don't. What is this - some kind of competition about who can seem less interested?
    Yeah, but I can't keep calling her. When she called me back today she was merely returning my phone call from yesterday. I sent the first email. I made the first phone call. I made the first phone call after the first date.. at some point, if she's interested, she needs to take some initiative.
  • TrailerTrailer Posts: 1,431
    You're gonna blow it if you keep calling her... give her the 'I don't care' attitude. While you're at it, go out and date some other girls... might as well stay busy while you're waiting for her to call:D
    Whoa, chill bro... you know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    Trailer wrote:
    You're gonna blow it if you keep calling her... give her the 'I don't care' attitude. While you're at it, go out and date some other girls... might as well stay busy while you're waiting for her to call:D
    What, so I can freak out here even more?, lol. Like I said, I'm not a fan of dating.
  • TrailerTrailer Posts: 1,431
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    What, so I can freak out here even more?, lol. Like I said, I'm not a fan of dating.

    oh god:eek: you are not in a relationship with this girl... you just met her.. don't fall in love that fast ;) How is going out with other girls gonna freak her out when she's never even going to know?? u would tell her?
    Whoa, chill bro... you know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    AmentsChick wrote:
    For the record...dating sucks ass.

    dang...obviously you go on some really nasty dates ;)
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    Trailer wrote:
    oh god:eek: you are not in a relationship with this girl... you just met her.. don't fall in love that fast ;) How is going out with other girls gonna freak her out when she's never even going to know?? u would tell her?
    No, no, no.. I mean, I'd just be playing more games.. too much multitasking. I'm not a very outgoing person. :cool:
  • __ Posts: 6,651
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    Yeah, but I can't keep calling her. When she called me back today she was merely returning my phone call from yesterday. I sent the first email. I made the first phone call. I made the first phone call after the first date.. at some point, if she's interested, she needs to take some initiative.

    That's cool, as long as you're cool if she doesn't call you. You just sounded like you really liked her.

    Maybe I'm just thinking about my personal experience. I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks, once or twice a week, and I think I've only called him once - and that was just to thank him for not giving me a hard time when I said I needed to get some work done this weekend instead of hanging out with him. If he stopped calling, I might just let it go because I'm pretty busy and I really wasn't looking to start dating right now. But if he likes me enough to keep calling and making plans, I like him enough that I'll probably keep going out with him. Then who knows what will happen. Maybe we'll fall in love or something. If I was uninterested I probably wouldn't return his calls though.

    I hope it all works out for you. :)
  • TrailerTrailer Posts: 1,431
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    No, no, no.. I mean, I'd just be playing more games.. too much multitasking. I'm not a very outgoing person. :cool:

    Well then.. my advice would be to give her until next week to call you. If she doesn't call by then, then you should call her.... but come up with some funny stories to tell her and keep the conversation exciting!! Then don't ask her out... but tell her you'll be out with your friends later this week at "insert neighborhood bar" and she should stop by if she wants. That way there will be less pressure and she will be more inclined to go out.

    but I must warn you... I'm not a female
    Whoa, chill bro... you know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
  • momofglynnmomofglynn Posts: 849
    Just don't say you would like to go out sometime. Call her back with an idea of what to do. Is there a band playing? Is there open mike night somehwere? You already established that drinking was fun with her. And not that it's all about that. But find something else that is entertaining. 'Hey I was wondering if you wanted to go here, I heard that this is going on.'

    I think someone that thinks ahead and gives a suggestion of what's going on is really attractive. Man with a plan......

    Just my 2 cents.
    Let's Go Red Sox!
  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    momofglynn wrote:
    Just don't say you would like to go out sometime. Call her back with an idea of what to do. Is there a band playing? Is there open mike night somehwere? You already established that drinking was fun with her. And not that it's all about that. But find something else that is entertaining. 'Hey I was wondering if you wanted to go here, I heard that this is going on.'

    I think someone that thinks ahead and gives a suggestion of what's going on is really attractive. Man with a plan......

    Just my 2 cents.
    I agree. Our schedules are a little conflicting, so its a little difficult, but If I do end up calling her later this week or next week, I'll definitely have an event lined up.
  • SENROCKSENROCK Posts: 10,736
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    Thinking about it now, I think I'm in that stage where I need to play it cool and stop thinking about it. If she calls me back, great! The balls back in my court, if not I should probably move on.

    yes and yes. youre gonna think yourself into a jam, STOP IT! in the meantime, line up other dates!!!
    ~~~~~~ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME~~~~~~
    Sir Mike McCready is....THE MASTER!!! WAHHH!!!
    EVENFLOW PSYCHOS H.N.I.C~FEEL THE FLOW!!!

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  • boxwine_in_hellboxwine_in_hell Posts: 1,263
    This is what's going to happen if you call her too soon.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0PUrNwvvBk
    one foot in the door
    the other foot in the gutter
    sweet smell that they adore
    I think I'd rather smother
    -The Replacements-
  • MattCameronKicksButtMattCameronKicksButt Posts: 4,317
    LikeAnOcean wrote:
    No, no, no.. I mean, I'd just be playing more games.. too much multitasking. I'm not a very outgoing person. :cool:

    Don't feel bad. You sound like such a nice guy.

    Why don't you just leave it for a while? It sounds like she's busy to me. Give her a call in about a week? (That's just what I would prefer because I'd think he has enough respect to stay away for a while, while I get things done. That's just my opinion though and I'm not really a girly girl). :o
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