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How do you get over a broken heart?

AyedavanitaAyedavanita Posts: 1,443
edited September 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
Or, how did you do it if you've gotten over it before? If you haven't and you have some good ideas I'd love to hear them. I know it takes time but is there anything you can do to speed along the process?
"You think I got my eyes closed but I'm lookin' at you the whole fuckin' time..."
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  • South of SeattleSouth of Seattle West Seattle Posts: 10,724
    Unfortunately your signature says it all :(

    I recommend just staying busy.
    NERDS!
  • StateOfLoveBoatCptn.StateOfLoveBoatCptn. Posts: 904
    I have been through it. recently actually. At least with me...it was time that did it. It took time . It took time to be with another person thinking it was all good, only to find that I wasnt done. And only now, a year and a half later do I really feel like Im gonna be ok. Just go about your life trying to do what makes you happy, but theres no easy solution to get over somethng like that. Just try and be positive, and put yourself in positive situations around people that care about your best interests. You'll ge through it. Thats what we do :D

    not sure if that answered your question, but thought Id give my 2 cents
  • MonsterOfTheMidwayMonsterOfTheMidway Posts: 416
    masturbation. lots and lots of masturbation.
    16

    Lil Wayne is better than Pearl Jam.

    Bitches ain't nothin' but hoes 'n tricks
  • iamsampjiamsampj Posts: 784
    with my only major break up, i never had real closure so it took me quite awhile to get over everything completely. we never had a real face-to-face conversation, he just kinda told me over the phone that he was engaged to someone else and that was it. i stopped having anxiety over it all after about a year or two. it was a tough break up to say the least!

    but...i found that just talking about it with friends helped me, just so that i wouldn't hold my emotions inside and eventually explode. throw yourself into something that you love or work or school...whatever to get you mind off of the break up. it'll still hurt like hell, but time should heal that :)
    yes...i do feel like a human. i do not feel like a tree.
  • AyedavanitaAyedavanita Posts: 1,443
    Thank you all so much. Sounds like I'm in for the long haul. I do not want to even think about dating right now so I'll give it time. I have let myself cry and hate and hurt and question, all of that and I still do. I guess the hardest part for me right now is that I just don't understand but that doesn't seem to matter in the end. Just never thought that this one would do me that wrong or effect me that badly. Damn, love is a bitch! Hopefully one day it will seem like that it wasn't really love at all.


    The masturbation thing cracked me up too, btw. Thanks for the laugh!
    "You think I got my eyes closed but I'm lookin' at you the whole fuckin' time..."
  • pjfan31pjfan31 Posts: 7,335
    I've only had my heart broken once, and it still hurts from time to time. The only girl I ever loved... It hurts cause she was the girl I could see myself growing old with. Then a few stupid things here and there and she found another guy. But i always thought i would have her back. But then she fell pregnant to him and they are engaged, and then I came to the realisiation that I couldn't be with her. We are friends, but it isn't the same. I have been with other people since, but until I find someone else, i cant help wondering what could of been.

    Any tips. Don't curl yourself up into a ball in a quiet room, because you are only going to think about them. Talk to people, its good to get it off your chest. Good luck.
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  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    Put on some slutty clothing and head for the bar, girlfriend.

    Actually, a friend of mine dyes her hair after a break-up. I guess that sort of thing works for women. She has this beautiful head of flowing red hair, but if she needs to get over somebody, blonde it goes.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • upina2001upina2001 Indiana Posts: 764
    Ayedavanita wrote:
    Or, how did you do it if you've gotten over it before? If you haven't and you have some good ideas I'd love to hear them. I know it takes time but is there anything you can do to speed along the process?


    time, but meeting new people helps. once you find someone else that spins your lid, it doesnt matter.

    Toledo, Ohio (September 22, 1996), East Troy, Wisconsin (June 26, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 17, 1998), Noblesville, Indiana (August 18, 2000), Cincinnati, Ohio (August 20, 2000), Columbus, Ohio (August 21, 2000), Nashville, Tennessee (April 18, 2003), Champaign, Illinois (April 23, 2003), Noblesville, Indiana (June 22, 2003), Chicago, Illinois (May 16, 2006), Chicago, Illinois (August 05, 2007), West Palm Beach, Florida (June 11, 2008), Tampa, Florida (June 12, 2008), Columbus, OH (May 06, 2010), Noblesville, Indiana (May 07, 2010), Wrigley Field (July 19, 2013), US Bank Arena (October 01, 2014), Lexington (April 26, 2016), Chicago Night 2 (August 20, 2018), Boston Night 1 (September 02, 2018), Nashville (September 16, 2022), St. Louis (September 18, 2022)

  • Phantom PainPhantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    Ayedavanita wrote:
    Or, how did you do it if you've gotten over it before? If you haven't and you have some good ideas I'd love to hear them. I know it takes time but is there anything you can do to speed along the process?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmTRsL6rJcM
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • dunkmandunkman Posts: 19,646
    phone a hitman
    oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
  • catch22catch22 Posts: 1,081
    i didn't. i've dated other girls, gone out, made friends, been busier than ever before, but i still think about her all the time. i've not seen or spoken to her in almost 2 years, but i still feel homicidal when i think about her happily engaged to the douche she left me for.
    and like that... he's gone.
  • g under pg under p Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,200
    dunkman wrote:
    phone a hitman

    I wouldn't do that I'd just sing...How Do You Mend A Broken Heart

    Peace
    *We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti

    *MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
    .....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti

    *The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)


  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    It's been my experience that the only thing that truly cures a broken heart is time. Other than that, it's always good to have distractions to at least keep your mind occupied for even a short while.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • demetriosdemetrios Posts: 93,508
    i would like to know too! cause i've been broken heart so many times, that .. at times, ya wonder .. nah.

    what i do sometimes is just break out a record, put on the headphones, and just lay down on the sofa or floor and just daze, close my eyes & go deep into the music. moments of tears, yes. which hopfully will get controled of course.
  • JordyWordyJordyWordy Posts: 2,261
    talk to your friends. and if theyre good friends make them force you to be active. and force yourself. get out & about. u end up meeting new people, even if they turn out to be sex buddies or new mates, or both...its better than just being alone thinking about it. it really is.

    have sex. sure, it may not be with who you want it to be with but its good for you, fun, and you may just find the best fuck of your life if your lucky.

    and in general, go do shit uve never done before too
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    Ayedavanita wrote:
    Or, how did you do it if you've gotten over it before? If you haven't and you have some good ideas I'd love to hear them. I know it takes time but is there anything you can do to speed along the process?

    Cry a lot.
    Fall in love with someone else.
    Stay busy.

    *shrugs* That's all the advice I've got. :o
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    justam wrote:
    Cry a lot.
    Fall in love with someone else.
    Stay busy.

    *shrugs* That's all the advice I've got. :o
    Well said! ;)

    AmentsChick wrote:
    It's been my experience that the only thing that truly cures a broken heart is time. Other than that, it's always good to have distractions to at least keep your mind occupied for even a short while.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • justamjustam Posts: 21,412
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Well said! ;)

    :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • fotdfotd Posts: 514
    Ayedavanita wrote:
    Or, how did you do it if you've gotten over it before? If you haven't and you have some good ideas I'd love to hear them. I know it takes time but is there anything you can do to speed along the process?

    hookers, booze and blow

    seriously time and caring friends to distract your mind are the only way. sorry to hear about the heart. it'll mend. if not there are always the three things listed above.
    I’ve seen Pearl Jam 25 times, Eddie Vedder 9 times, and Brad once.
  • catch22catch22 Posts: 1,081
    i also suggest casual sex. i can help on that count. but seriously, a few casual flings are good. i know for me, when you get your heart broke it's a big blow to the ego. when you think someone was your soulmate and you weren't "good enough" to keep them, it knocks your confidence a bit. so it helps to go out there and see that there are other people out there that will be interested in you. just don't rebound into another relationship. that doesn't work out quite so well.
    and like that... he's gone.
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    catch22 wrote:
    i know for me, when you get your heart broke it's a big blow to the ego. when you think someone was your soulmate and you weren't "good enough" to keep them, it knocks your confidence a bit. so it helps to go out there and see that there are other people out there that will be interested in you. just don't rebound into another relationship. that doesn't work out quite so well.

    I couldn't have said it better myself.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • An AnimalAn Animal Posts: 129
    Casual sex works ! What you doin' later? :D
    "I am ahead, I am advanced, I am the
    first man to buy all of Stones
    underpants" E.V. during DTE 7-9-03
  • Jeremy1012Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    Drink and time.

    That's just me though. Don't take it as advice, it's a fucking horrible method.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • WhizbangWhizbang Posts: 1,314
    catch22 wrote:
    i also suggest casual sex. i can help on that count. but seriously, a few casual flings are good. i know for me, when you get your heart broke it's a big blow to the ego. when you think someone was your soulmate and you weren't "good enough" to keep them, it knocks your confidence a bit. so it helps to go out there and see that there are other people out there that will be interested in you. just don't rebound into another relationship. that doesn't work out quite so well.

    rebounding into another relationship doesn't work great. You do have to allow yourself time to be alone and heal. have a few flings, keep yourself busy but really, give yourself time alone to shed the mental baggage. Otherwise, you'll just bring it into your next relationship.
    believe it or not, we don't "need" anything. that is only the spoiled brat in us trying to fill some temporary solution to an emptyness that does not exist.

    I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29

    Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
  • stevieraveonstevieraveon Posts: 413
    The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
    Bob Loblaw's Law Blog: "Why should YOU go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?"
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    stevieraveon wrote:
    The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

    That doesn't always work. I'd become attached. I can't have casual sex.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • catch22catch22 Posts: 1,081
    Whizbang wrote:
    rebounding into another relationship doesn't work great. You do have to allow yourself time to be alone and heal. have a few flings, keep yourself busy but really, give yourself time alone to shed the mental baggage. Otherwise, you'll just bring it into your next relationship.

    i'm a living example of this ;) nobody here wants to end up like me, hehe.
    and like that... he's gone.
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    catch22 wrote:
    i'm a living example of this ;) nobody here wants to end up like me, hehe.

    LOL...you're only a little bitter.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • tylerpjtxtylerpjtx Posts: 201
    you can really let this be an advantage to you. you now have a whole lot more time on your hands to do all the things you want to do. i would suggest spending lots and lots of time with friends and being active and doing somethign new every weekend. its the best cure by far from my experience.
    all these burning battlefields are now behind us, life has brought us here together to remind us, that love will rise above it all and just keep growin, life keeps flowing and every moment starts right here with us
    -mason jennings
  • OffHeGoes29OffHeGoes29 Posts: 1,240
    No one can answer that but you.
    BRING BACK THE WHALE
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