Today, my wife went to the doctor for the first time since flunking a pregnancy test.
It turns out she is eight weeks along. Our "baby" is 13 millimeters long, about the size of a peanut. And, together, we listened to the heartbeat. It was an unbelievably moving moment.
Whatever your stand on abortion -- and I'll disclose here that I am pro-life except for a pretty extenuating set of circumstances -- you can't kill something that has a heartbeat.
I'm not saying this applies to the original poster or not. I don't know the specifics of his situation, and don't want to know. I don't even know what the abortion laws are in most states. I just believe if you're aborting something with a heartbeat, it's murder.
everybody wants the most they can possibly get
for the least they could possibly do
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Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,200
A girl who was carrying my child had an abortion today. I feel pretty awful about it...not for myself, but for her and for the child that could have been.
Anyone else here gone through such a thing?
I went through one in college and it was one of the most miserable times in my life. Her mother forced her to have one and paid for it, we don't speak of it much now but sometimes I/we wonder what could have been.
To this day I know for a fact that abortion has affected her in her motherhood negatively in that she has become cold and distant with her daughters. Treats them more like friends than rasing them as her children.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
I went through one in college and it was one of the most miserable times in my life. Her mother forced her to have one and paid for it, we don't speak of it much now but sometimes I/we wonder what could have been.
To this day I know for a fact that abortion has affected her in her motherhood negatively in that she has become cold and distant with her daughters. Treats them more like friends than rasing them as her children.
Peace
do you think that perhaps the reason that it has affected her in her motherhood negatively might have something more to do with her relationship with her own mother, being that she forced the abortion on her, rather than with the abortion itself?
do you think that perhaps the reason that it has affected her in her motherhood negatively might have something more to do with her relationship with her own mother, being that she forced the abortion on her, rather than with the abortion itself?
Hmmmm, interesting question and I think you've hit the nail on the head. There's some funny business going with the father that she refuses to talk about.
None of her relationships or marriages have lasted past 3 years and that includes jobs too.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
It is a hard decision for a woman to have an abortion and yeah, the mental and physical feelings that she can have come along with that are pretty big to deal with. I am not sure how old she is, but you know some girls I knew when I was younger had moms who actually talked them into abortions, with the girl kind of sure/not sure what to do and then just because she senses that her mom will abandon her, (or she says she would---maybe she actually wouldn't if the girl stood up and said that she wanted to have and keep the baby) goes ahead and does it. One girl I knew went to the clinic where she was going to have the abortion and their were actually people picketing the front of the place, calling out to her, "please don't murder your baby!!". She was so freaked out .........I can't imagine how people like that think they are all self righteous----"pro-life" and then can be such assholes to a young woman who, c'mon it's not like most women go in those places, balsy, and full of themselves......some are very apprehensive but feel it is right for them to do this. I am pro choice but don't feel it should be taken lightly; it is hard on a woman's body. Maybe if you and she are still together you would do better to prepare yourselves for , you know.....so it doesn't happen again unless you both want to have a baby should that come about again.
but moreso, I must complement you on your depth of character to be such a caring young man and to feel this way about your girlfriend......I hope she knows what a treasure you are...........I am sending you good thoughts...hope you get them..........and feel better soon.
That's just the thing though...we aren't together. It was just a fling really. I broke it off over a month ago because I knew she wasn't the one for me. She then txt's me one day to give me the news. Still, I told her I'd do everything I could to support her, but that I couldn't promise to commit myself 100% to her, or to promise that I'd always be in Korea. At first she said she still wanted to go ahead with it, but then she changed her mind a couple of days ago.
To be honest, I'm more against abortions than for them, but in some cases I can see how having a child could be damaging to the lives of those involved if the baby is born under the wrong circumstances and at the 'wrong time'.
Whatever happened to that old adage about he who is without sin may cast the first stone?
C'est la vie. "If you are causing no harm, than you are alright with me" to quote the brilliant Ben Harper.
Well that wouldn't be hard! Me verging on heresy and all!
Yeah, look it's all that, people in glass houses, ivory towers, soapboxes, blah, blah, blah. :rolleyes:
Fact is it's very rare to find people in this world that are mentally and emotionally capable of "walking a mile in my shoes" and for all the bible's teaching, jesus, god, allah, buddha whatever the crap you believe, seems this is the one thing above all else that will serve a person well to remember in this life.
NOPE!!!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
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Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,200
That's just the thing though...we aren't together. It was just a fling really. I broke it off over a month ago because I knew she wasn't the one for me. She then txt's me one day to give me the news. Still, I told her I'd do everything I could to support her, but that I couldn't promise to commit myself 100% to her, or to promise that I'd always be in Korea. At first she said she still wanted to go ahead with it, but then she changed her mind a couple of days ago.
To be honest, I'm more against abortions than for them, but in some cases I can see how having a child could be damaging to the lives of those involved if the baby is born under the wrong circumstances and at the 'wrong time'.
This I can understand but it's still a very difficult thing to go through. It somehow hardens one to the truancies of life before one is ready.
Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
That's just the thing though...we aren't together. It was just a fling really. I broke it off over a month ago because I knew she wasn't the one for me. She then txt's me one day to give me the news. Still, I told her I'd do everything I could to support her, but that I couldn't promise to commit myself 100% to her, or to promise that I'd always be in Korea. At first she said she still wanted to go ahead with it, but then she changed her mind a couple of days ago.
To be honest, I'm more against abortions than for them, but in some cases I can see how having a child could be damaging to the lives of those involved if the baby is born under the wrong circumstances and at the 'wrong time'.
I agree with that last sentiment. I support that abortions should be available up until a certain point but I know that I couldn't have one especially right now in my life. However, that doesn't mean I don't support another woman's right to choose. I didn't have a father and honestly I was better off without him. Sometimes there are wrong times and it just wouldn't be a happy environment in which raise a child. If you can't give it your all, than you shouldn't do it.
I agree with that last sentiment. I support that abortions should be available up until a certain point but I know that I couldn't have one especially right now in my life. However, that doesn't mean I don't support another woman's right to choose. I didn't have a father and honestly I was better off without him. Sometimes there are wrong times and it just wouldn't be a happy environment in which raise a child. If you can't give it your all, than you shouldn't do it.
Without being too preachy ... there are options other that abortion, even if you don't feel up to raising a child.
My aunt adopted a kid from Russia. He's 7 years old now. I often wonder how life might be different, for all of us, if this kid's biological mother had simply had an abortion.
What if this kid turns out to be brilliant? What if he becomes President? What if he is the one who winds up saving the world? (Turns out, he probably won't. He's kind of an imbecile. But still).
That wouldn't have happened if his mother had decided to abort him. It's my belief -- again, trying to be ultra sensitive and not too preachy -- that every fetus deserves a chance.
I feel really uneasy about squelching that chance just because it might be a child might be a little inconvenient.
everybody wants the most they can possibly get
for the least they could possibly do
Today, my wife went to the doctor for the first time since flunking a pregnancy test.
It turns out she is eight weeks along. Our "baby" is 13 millimeters long, about the size of a peanut. And, together, we listened to the heartbeat. It was an unbelievably moving moment.
Whatever your stand on abortion -- and I'll disclose here that I am pro-life except for a pretty extenuating set of circumstances -- you can't kill something that has a heartbeat.
I'm not saying this applies to the original poster or not. I don't know the specifics of his situation, and don't want to know. I don't even know what the abortion laws are in most states. I just believe if you're aborting something with a heartbeat, it's murder.
I've been thinking about this question. I was wondering if there was a line that could be drawn from when it could be considered acceptable, to when it could be construed as 'murder'.
I'm not sure. I mean, every organism is alive, right? After 10 weeks can it be considered to be a baby? The thing begins forming the shape of a baby at an early stage. Here in Korea they consider a persons birthday to be the point of conception - which is another reason it must have been so hard on her yesterday, her being Korean.
Without being too preachy ... there are options other that abortion, even if you don't feel up to raising a child.
My aunt adopted a kid from Russia. He's 7 years old now. I often wonder how life might be different, for all of us, if this kid's biological mother had simply had an abortion.
What if this kid turns out to be brilliant? What if he becomes President? What if he is the one who winds up saving the world? (Turns out, he probably won't. He's kind of an imbecile. But still).
That wouldn't have happened if his mother had decided to abort him. It's my belief -- again, trying to be ultra sensitive and not too preachy -- that every fetus deserves a chance.
I feel really uneasy about squelching that chance just because it might be a child might be a little inconvenient.
I appreciate where you are coming from and I think it is all a matter of perspective. You are awaiting and child that you WANTED. That is very exciting and I wish I was in that place too in many ways. However, if you were say a scared 19 year old girl( not reflecting on Byrnzie's situ, I am just saying) with nowhere to go and nobody to support you I don't think a baby is going to just be "inconvenient". When my mum had me she was lucky she was 25, a decent job and family that could help out when and if she needed it. Not all women are so lucky. Not all kids are so lucky. So the odds of some kid having some fucked up life being president?? Not good.
As said before if men had wombs, laws would be totally different.
So the odds of some kid having some fucked up life being president?? Not good.
But who are we to make that judgment, you know? Shouldn't the kid get a chance?
Like I said, I can agree with abortion in certain circumstances ... rape, incest, to save the life of the mother, maybe. I just have a hard time accepting it as merely a "get out of jail" card for an irresponsible decision, especially when there are other options out there.
I'm trying not to sound too pedantic or strident. Sorry if I come off that way.
And, byrnzie, I don't mean to shit on your thread, either. My sympathies for you and your sort-of girl. That's got to be a tough thing to go through and I hope everything works out OK.
everybody wants the most they can possibly get
for the least they could possibly do
I wasn't prepared to be a husband, no.
I was prepared to be financially responsible and to be there as much as possible though.
Ultimately though, this wasn't enough. And I kind of agree that the mother needed to think about what was best for her in the long term. It was ultimately her choice.
I just couldn't help thinking yesterday how terrible she must have felt going to the clinic. And I couldn't even be with her yesterday - work demands. I imagine she must have had the worst day of her life. I'm gonna go see her today.
it's good that you're going to go see her. it's still important for you to be supportive of her, even if it is the next day.
I had an abortion when i was 19. even though I was told by a doctor that it was for the best given my medical problems I still felt conflicted in making the decision. despite that when i told my bf that I was pregnant (i hadn't even mentioned anything about what the Dr had said) I totally was not prepared for the way he responded. this guy that had always been so nice just stared at me for a few seconds and said "well, you know where the abortion clinic is." needless to say that things were over with him. so yeah that was an additional emotional punch that I wasn't expecting to face. so I had the abortion alone and it was an awful time but I got through it.
now it's almost three years later and I have a 5 month old daughter. I was temporary seperated from her Dad. one night i went out with a bunch of co-workers for drinks after work. we're all sitting around a table at this bar when the ex bf walks in. I hadn't even noticed him. he walked up to me and said "please let me say some things before you get mad at me and tell me to fuck off" so he went on to apologize and he really was sincere. he came over to my place and we actually spent the rest of that weekend together(not having sex you pervs) it kinda broke my heart a bit to see him playing with my daughter. anyway we talked about everything. he let me understand that he freaked out without trying to defend his behavior and we left things on good, friendly terms.
so we made our peace after almost three years. i'm just saying DON'T wait that long, cause it's needless to do that when you can be supportive of each other from the beginning. even if you couldn't be at the clinic with her your support will make a big difference in how she (and you) feel and handle it emotionally.
Uhmm that was kind of my point in the first place. I don't think it was you but soon enough the old murder word surfaces and who are any of us to judge that?
Don't get me wrong I am not some gonzo abortion supporter but I know women who have had to decide. I know it must hard either way.
Uhmm that was kind of my point in the first place. I don't think it was you but soon enough the old murder word surfaces and who are any of us to judge that?
Don't get me wrong I am not some gonzo abortion supporter but I know women who have had to decide. I know it must hard either way.
Really we are just beating a dead horse.
Yeah, I've expressed my views. That's good enough.
everybody wants the most they can possibly get
for the least they could possibly do
Yeah, I've expressed my views. That's good enough.
I agree. I hope I didn't come across as uber bitch or something it is just that I don't think I will sway you nor will you sway me. I respect what you believe even if it isn't what I believe. To each their own. I wish we lived in a world where abortions weren't needed but I also wish we lived in world without poverty and violence. I wish for a lot of things but mostly they are just wishes.
"I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good"
A girl who was carrying my child had an abortion today. I feel pretty awful about it...not for myself, but for her and for the child that could have been.
Anyone else here gone through such a thing?
check the poetry thread and a poem I wrote called 24 weeks... (the title is important). I am pro-choice and absolutely support the woman's right to choose but I wrote a poem from the other side just to see what I might think. Do NOT read if you are feeling too sensitive or upset about this. Please. Other than that, I feel for you.
"I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
I agree. I hope I didn't come across as uber bitch or something it is just that I don't think I will sway you nor will you sway me. I respect what you believe even if it isn't what I believe. To each their own. I wish we lived in a world where abortions weren't needed but I also wish we lived in world without poverty and violence. I wish for a lot of things but mostly they are just wishes.
"I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good"
No, I've got no problem with you. There's no rule that says we have to agree 100 percent. Just that we must be civil. I feel we accomplished that much.
everybody wants the most they can possibly get
for the least they could possibly do
But who are we to make that judgment, you know? Shouldn't the kid get a chance?
If the fetus was able to make that judgement, that would be ideal. But I don't have any reason to believe the fetus would choose to be born.
In the absence input from the fetus, it is the mother who is left with the burden of weighing the circumstances, calculating the risk that the child would have a fucked-up life, and deciding how big of a risk to take.
I know people say that just because the child would be born into a shitty life is no reason to not have the child and place it for adoption. But I know many women who are faced with this choice who feel that it is just as risky to give their child up to be raised by strangers who may or may not provide it with a better life.
I met a woman recently who gave up her daughter for adoption, only to find out later that she became a prostitute and a drug addict who was in and out of jail despite having had children of her own. Imagine how horrible the woman feels that she was not able to even try to protect her daughter.
For the record, I'm not saying that adoption is bad - I think it can be a blessing for everyone involved - I'm just saying that it is also risky. True, the child could grow up to be president. But there are many more prostitutes in the world than presidents.
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!!!!
That said, I do feel the woman does deserve the choice. It should be her decision, not the government, and hopefully she makes the right decision. I support adoption!
Why is adoption discussed so little when the topic of abortion comes up?
3. DON'T TELL ME OR MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER WHAT TO DO WITH OUR LIVES
And why?
BECAUSE I DON'T MAKE YOUR DECISIONS FOR YOU.
Don't like abortions?...Don't have one. Love the idea of adoption?...Then adopt a couple kids.
It's very simple. Live as you choose, but don't expect others to follow your choices. Even if you're religious, keep in mind that a major principle of the bible is that we all have FREE WILL.
Our choices will be judged later, so don't hassle us while we're struggling to get though this life.
Firstly, thanks for the support from everyone here.
I did discuss it with her in depth. It seemed like the most practical thing to do under the circumstances. I mean, we're not in a relationship or anything and also I hadn't planned on staying in Korea forever. So it probably was for the best. I still feel pretty bad about it all though. I know she wanted to have a baby under the right circumstances. Unfortunately I couldn't provide those circunstances for her.
Shitty start to this year for sure.
I commend you for having the nerve to post it here... and so far, it's actually been pretty civil. I'm really sorry byrnzie, can't be easy for ya going through this at all :(
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Comments
It turns out she is eight weeks along. Our "baby" is 13 millimeters long, about the size of a peanut. And, together, we listened to the heartbeat. It was an unbelievably moving moment.
Whatever your stand on abortion -- and I'll disclose here that I am pro-life except for a pretty extenuating set of circumstances -- you can't kill something that has a heartbeat.
I'm not saying this applies to the original poster or not. I don't know the specifics of his situation, and don't want to know. I don't even know what the abortion laws are in most states. I just believe if you're aborting something with a heartbeat, it's murder.
for the least they could possibly do
I went through one in college and it was one of the most miserable times in my life. Her mother forced her to have one and paid for it, we don't speak of it much now but sometimes I/we wonder what could have been.
To this day I know for a fact that abortion has affected her in her motherhood negatively in that she has become cold and distant with her daughters. Treats them more like friends than rasing them as her children.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
i believe the only time it's ok to murder a child is in an unjust pre-emptive middle-eastern war after they turn 18.
Any time before that is against the bible and jesus.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Just a Middle Eastern war? Not in any other part of the world? How so?
Edit: On second thoughts, you were joking here right? My brains a bit soft today.
do you think that perhaps the reason that it has affected her in her motherhood negatively might have something more to do with her relationship with her own mother, being that she forced the abortion on her, rather than with the abortion itself?
angels share laughter
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
But I am SO much holier than thou :rolleyes:
Whatever happened to that old adage about he who is without sin may cast the first stone?
C'est la vie. "If you are causing no harm, than you are alright with me" to quote the brilliant Ben Harper.
Hmmmm, interesting question and I think you've hit the nail on the head. There's some funny business going with the father that she refuses to talk about.
None of her relationships or marriages have lasted past 3 years and that includes jobs too.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
That's just the thing though...we aren't together. It was just a fling really. I broke it off over a month ago because I knew she wasn't the one for me. She then txt's me one day to give me the news. Still, I told her I'd do everything I could to support her, but that I couldn't promise to commit myself 100% to her, or to promise that I'd always be in Korea. At first she said she still wanted to go ahead with it, but then she changed her mind a couple of days ago.
To be honest, I'm more against abortions than for them, but in some cases I can see how having a child could be damaging to the lives of those involved if the baby is born under the wrong circumstances and at the 'wrong time'.
Well that wouldn't be hard!
Yeah, look it's all that, people in glass houses, ivory towers, soapboxes, blah, blah, blah. :rolleyes:
Fact is it's very rare to find people in this world that are mentally and emotionally capable of "walking a mile in my shoes" and for all the bible's teaching, jesus, god, allah, buddha whatever the crap you believe, seems this is the one thing above all else that will serve a person well to remember in this life.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
This I can understand but it's still a very difficult thing to go through. It somehow hardens one to the truancies of life before one is ready.
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
I agree with that last sentiment. I support that abortions should be available up until a certain point but I know that I couldn't have one especially right now in my life. However, that doesn't mean I don't support another woman's right to choose. I didn't have a father and honestly I was better off without him. Sometimes there are wrong times and it just wouldn't be a happy environment in which raise a child. If you can't give it your all, than you shouldn't do it.
Thanks dudester!
Without being too preachy ... there are options other that abortion, even if you don't feel up to raising a child.
My aunt adopted a kid from Russia. He's 7 years old now. I often wonder how life might be different, for all of us, if this kid's biological mother had simply had an abortion.
What if this kid turns out to be brilliant? What if he becomes President? What if he is the one who winds up saving the world? (Turns out, he probably won't. He's kind of an imbecile. But still).
That wouldn't have happened if his mother had decided to abort him. It's my belief -- again, trying to be ultra sensitive and not too preachy -- that every fetus deserves a chance.
I feel really uneasy about squelching that chance just because it might be a child might be a little inconvenient.
for the least they could possibly do
I've been thinking about this question. I was wondering if there was a line that could be drawn from when it could be considered acceptable, to when it could be construed as 'murder'.
I'm not sure. I mean, every organism is alive, right? After 10 weeks can it be considered to be a baby? The thing begins forming the shape of a baby at an early stage. Here in Korea they consider a persons birthday to be the point of conception - which is another reason it must have been so hard on her yesterday, her being Korean.
I appreciate where you are coming from and I think it is all a matter of perspective. You are awaiting and child that you WANTED. That is very exciting and I wish I was in that place too in many ways. However, if you were say a scared 19 year old girl( not reflecting on Byrnzie's situ, I am just saying) with nowhere to go and nobody to support you I don't think a baby is going to just be "inconvenient". When my mum had me she was lucky she was 25, a decent job and family that could help out when and if she needed it. Not all women are so lucky. Not all kids are so lucky. So the odds of some kid having some fucked up life being president?? Not good.
As said before if men had wombs, laws would be totally different.
But who are we to make that judgment, you know? Shouldn't the kid get a chance?
Like I said, I can agree with abortion in certain circumstances ... rape, incest, to save the life of the mother, maybe. I just have a hard time accepting it as merely a "get out of jail" card for an irresponsible decision, especially when there are other options out there.
I'm trying not to sound too pedantic or strident. Sorry if I come off that way.
And, byrnzie, I don't mean to shit on your thread, either. My sympathies for you and your sort-of girl. That's got to be a tough thing to go through and I hope everything works out OK.
for the least they could possibly do
it's good that you're going to go see her. it's still important for you to be supportive of her, even if it is the next day.
I had an abortion when i was 19. even though I was told by a doctor that it was for the best given my medical problems I still felt conflicted in making the decision. despite that when i told my bf that I was pregnant (i hadn't even mentioned anything about what the Dr had said) I totally was not prepared for the way he responded. this guy that had always been so nice just stared at me for a few seconds and said "well, you know where the abortion clinic is." needless to say that things were over with him. so yeah that was an additional emotional punch that I wasn't expecting to face. so I had the abortion alone and it was an awful time but I got through it.
now it's almost three years later and I have a 5 month old daughter. I was temporary seperated from her Dad. one night i went out with a bunch of co-workers for drinks after work. we're all sitting around a table at this bar when the ex bf walks in. I hadn't even noticed him. he walked up to me and said "please let me say some things before you get mad at me and tell me to fuck off" so he went on to apologize and he really was sincere. he came over to my place and we actually spent the rest of that weekend together(not having sex you pervs) it kinda broke my heart a bit to see him playing with my daughter. anyway we talked about everything. he let me understand that he freaked out without trying to defend his behavior and we left things on good, friendly terms.
so we made our peace after almost three years. i'm just saying DON'T wait that long, cause it's needless to do that when you can be supportive of each other from the beginning. even if you couldn't be at the clinic with her your support will make a big difference in how she (and you) feel and handle it emotionally.
angels share laughter
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Uhmm that was kind of my point in the first place. I don't think it was you but soon enough the old murder word surfaces and who are any of us to judge that?
Don't get me wrong I am not some gonzo abortion supporter but I know women who have had to decide. I know it must hard either way.
Really we are just beating a dead horse.
Yeah, I've expressed my views. That's good enough.
for the least they could possibly do
I agree. I hope I didn't come across as uber bitch or something it is just that I don't think I will sway you nor will you sway me. I respect what you believe even if it isn't what I believe. To each their own. I wish we lived in a world where abortions weren't needed but I also wish we lived in world without poverty and violence. I wish for a lot of things but mostly they are just wishes.
"I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good"
No, I've got no problem with you. There's no rule that says we have to agree 100 percent. Just that we must be civil. I feel we accomplished that much.
for the least they could possibly do
If the fetus was able to make that judgement, that would be ideal. But I don't have any reason to believe the fetus would choose to be born.
In the absence input from the fetus, it is the mother who is left with the burden of weighing the circumstances, calculating the risk that the child would have a fucked-up life, and deciding how big of a risk to take.
I know people say that just because the child would be born into a shitty life is no reason to not have the child and place it for adoption. But I know many women who are faced with this choice who feel that it is just as risky to give their child up to be raised by strangers who may or may not provide it with a better life.
I met a woman recently who gave up her daughter for adoption, only to find out later that she became a prostitute and a drug addict who was in and out of jail despite having had children of her own. Imagine how horrible the woman feels that she was not able to even try to protect her daughter.
For the record, I'm not saying that adoption is bad - I think it can be a blessing for everyone involved - I'm just saying that it is also risky. True, the child could grow up to be president. But there are many more prostitutes in the world than presidents.
That said, I do feel the woman does deserve the choice. It should be her decision, not the government, and hopefully she makes the right decision. I support adoption!
Why is adoption discussed so little when the topic of abortion comes up?
1. STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY BEDROOM
2. STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY DOCTOR'S OFFICE
3. DON'T TELL ME OR MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER WHAT TO DO WITH OUR LIVES
And why?
BECAUSE I DON'T MAKE YOUR DECISIONS FOR YOU.
Don't like abortions?...Don't have one. Love the idea of adoption?...Then adopt a couple kids.
It's very simple. Live as you choose, but don't expect others to follow your choices. Even if you're religious, keep in mind that a major principle of the bible is that we all have FREE WILL.
Our choices will be judged later, so don't hassle us while we're struggling to get though this life.
Thank you and goodnight.
if it was me, then yes my say will be final
I'm seeing food ordered in, and a movie on the couch or somethin ... no monkey business though.
She could be "depressed" for sometime after this.
Never been through this "myself", per se, but my first girlfriend did get pregnant by another man and had an abortion while we were still very close.
She was depressed and in the dumps for about 2 or 3 months.
Sucks that you had to go through all that.
Sucks for all three of ya's.
:(
If I opened it now would you not understand?
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you