No, I didn't like it at all. Especially the premise that since I am a guy I am apt to cheat on her, and she constantly accused me of such.
I don't really want to talk about it actually. I am glad it's over and I'm more cautious now.
No problems.
I actually have been wanting some advice about my friend though but didn't really know where to ask for it here. I guess the AET but I don't really know most of those guys. I'm extremely worried about her and don't have a clue how to help her.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
I actually have been wanting some advice about my friend though but didn't really know where to ask for it here. I guess the AET but I don't really know most of those guys. I'm extremely worried about her and don't have a clue how to help her.
Honestly, she shouldn't stick around like that. I was so relieved when I got out of that situation. No one should dominate a relationship, unfortunately it happens a lot. Giver her my phone number
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
That's fucked up man, gender equality mandates are bullshit.
In Canada gender equality mandates companies have to hire a certain number of minorities, including women. So a white guy more qualified for the job than a black guy or a woman, will not get the job because of his skin colour and gender.
Actually when you fill out an application often it will have a spot to fill out if you are a visible minority, because ultimately they have to hire visible minorities, they don't have to hire white men. So that is clearly not equal. I appreciate what it is they are trying to do, but it's actually having a negative effect on our society.
i agree (shit, we're not agreeing are we?). The quotas and mandates were definitely needed at times, but i was hoping that we as a society had moved passed where we have to mandate equality or if we don't get something we wouldn't scream it's b/c of inequality.
make sure the fortune that you seek...is the fortune that you need
I used to work in a factory and learned that the factory was required by law to hire an equal amout of women to men. But the factory was only legally allowed to make women lift less than 50 lbs.
So... Hooters should have to hire 50% male waitresses.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
Honestly, she shouldn't stick around like that. I was so relieved when I got out of that situation. No one should dominate a relationship, unfortunately it happens a lot. Giver her my phone number
She comes to work with bruises all over. I tried to get her to have some pictures taken of them but she says 'yeah, I will do that.' and never does. And get this, she went to the store the other day and I guess she stayed out longer than she was supposed...anyways, he called the store, had them page her and then told her to come home! She's not 'allowed' to have a myspace, he deleted the one she had, and he has to approve of all the sites she visits. He constantly belittles her in front of people and criticizes everything she does or says. And here's the kicker, he's unemployeed and has been for quite sometime! She told me he goes out and buys beer everyday and makes her use .99 cent VO5 shampoo to save on money.
I wish she would take somebody's number and get the hell outta there. She's drop dead gorgeous and would have no problem replacing this jackass.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
i agree (shit, we're not agreeing are we?). The quotas and mandates were definitely needed at times, but i was hoping that we as a society had moved passed where we have to mandate equality or if we don't get something we wouldn't scream it's b/c of inequality.
Well it's sad, but the only reason I complain about our system of equality, is because I know you have to whine and complain to get anything fixed. It shouldn't be that way, people should be able to see reality without becoming polarized and defensive. If I even hint that white men are in any way less fortunate than others, I am laughed at, called racist, sexist, etc.. Which is fucking ridiculous. Ok, I know women get fucked, I know minorities get fucked when applying for jobs run by racist or sexist assholes. But the legislation makes it legal to discriminate against all white men, wether they are the racist/sexist assholes or not.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
She comes to work with bruises all over. I tried to get her to have some pictures taken of them but she says 'yeah, I will do that.' and never does. And get this, she went to the store the other day and I guess she stayed out longer than she was supposed...anyways, he called the store, had them page her and then told her to come home! She's not 'allowed' to have a myspace, he deleted the one she had, and he has to approve of all the sites she visits. He constantly belittles her in front of people and criticizes everything she does or says. And here's the kicker, he's unemployeed and has been for quite sometime! She told me he goes out and buys beer everyday and makes her use .99 cent VO5 shampoo to save on money.
I wish she would take somebody's number and get the hell outta there. She's drop dead gorgeous and would have no problem replacing this jackass.
Sounds like her situation will only get worse. I've learned that in relationships there tends to be no comfort room. You can't back down with out the other person taking over. You have to be constantly at war for your own personal freedom in that situation. It's a losing battle.
My ex never beat me, she threatened to murder me a couple of times, but I just laughed at her and said honestly I was upset that she intended to kill me. She should really get out of that relationship, it won't get any better, that's for sure.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
It seems to be a hot source for older guys preying on young girls.
there's tens of millions of people on MySpace. the media reports five stories about older men using MySpace to prey on teenage girls... and now somehow all men over 30 with a MySpace page are suspect.
Sounds like her situation will only get worse. I've learned that in relationships there tends to be no comfort room. You can't back down with out the other person taking over. You have to be constantly at war for your own personal freedom in that situation. It's a losing battle.
My ex never beat me, she threatened to murder me a couple of times, but I just laughed at her and said honestly I was upset that she intended to kill me. She should really get out of that relationship, it won't get any better, that's for sure.
Sorry to hear about that kind of abuse. :(
The problem is not that she's too stupid to move on. It's that she fears for her life. She has also told me of waking up in the middle of the night, gasping for breath and his hands around her neck....outta nowhere! I don't believe in murdering anyone usually but that guy would have to go!
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
The problem is not that she's too stupid to move on. It's that she fears for her life. She has also told me of waking up in the middle of the night, gasping for breath and his hands around her neck....outta nowhere! I don't believe in murdering anyone usually but that guy would have to go!
Hmm, this kind of situation is rough. Though I think, if she were to up and leave one night with no word, he would be even more pissed off than if she told him before hand he was leaving. In my experience, though I am not that kind of guy. She could have him charged or a restraining order placed on him as well. I know it's a rough situation, but it does get worse, and it's possible a guy like that would hurt her seriously without her leaving. But you and I know what's best as outsiders. That can't change her mind about it. Well, you can influence her, but only to a point. You can't force her to leave.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
The problem is not that she's too stupid to move on. It's that she fears for her life. She has also told me of waking up in the middle of the night, gasping for breath and his hands around her neck....outta nowhere! I don't believe in murdering anyone usually but that guy would have to go!
God that is worrisome. She has every reason in the world to worry about her life. Shit. I don't have an answer to make someone help themselves...maybe if you called a domestic shelter they would have some answers or suggestions?
So I'll just lie down and wait for the dream Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
Actually my ex-girlfriend was kicked down some stairs by her boyfriend. Another boyfriend stalked her, broke into her parents house where she was staying and stole her cell phone and car keys. He also followed her around town and questioned her about things. She eventually left him and he hardly persued her afterwords. Especially when she met someone else.
But ultimately the worst thing that happened to her is her opinion of men. She can't have a relationship without worrying about those things now. It is, or was, always on her mind. She fabricated stories about me that weren't true to me, but certainly were to her past boyfriends.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
For a long time women had to fight to be treated equally so I understand extremes at that time but I am not sure if we presently still need to abide by such standards. If I apply for a job and get said job I want it to be because I am qualified not because I am a woman.
I hold the door open for anyone regardless of gender and really I expect the same in return. If I hold the door and someone walks through without thanking me.. I just cheerily say "you're welcome" and along I go. I can't help it that some people are rude.
Saying that ALL men are smarter than ALL women is just not very enlightened. So I am beginning to wonder if you truly are awesome??
I don't have myspace, I don't go on there and quite frankly after all the attention it receives in the media(negative) I am not sure why people would bother. People need to use common sense... not posting everything about your self on the www to see might be a start :rolleyes:.
John and Shandel? Have they ever been on Maury?
Abook, I hope your friend truly gets the help she needs. That is so scary. Scary for you and all that know her and I can' even imagine how scary that must be for her.
So, do you think it is true that men and women are intellectually equal, but women are inherently better at raising children?
Or is that a study performed with a feminist mindset?
I think that men and women have different parenting styles, and children do best when they get plenty of each.
I do think that the sexes are equal, but I'd never say that they were identical. There are some pretty obvious differences, as well as pretty obvious exceptions to every rule. I don't like it when people place value judgments on those differences and say that one is "better." We parent differently, we use our intelligence differently, we do a lot of things differently, and we're at our best when we make use of everyone's differing strengths.
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." ~ MLK, 1963
Hmm, this kind of situation is rough. Though I think, if she were to up and leave one night with no word, he would be even more pissed off than if she told him before hand he was leaving. In my experience, though I am not that kind of guy. She could have him charged or a restraining order placed on him as well. I know it's a rough situation, but it does get worse, and it's possible a guy like that would hurt her seriously without her leaving. But you and I know what's best as outsiders. That can't change her mind about it. Well, you can influence her, but only to a point. You can't force her to leave.
I know. I worry about telling her to leave and then something very bad happening. I've suggested pressing charges and the restraining order. She says he will hunt her down no matter what. She told me if she ever got her own apartment she wants one a few stories up so he doesn't try to get in through her windows. I just couldn't imagine being in her position.
God that is worrisome. She has every reason in the world to worry about her life. Shit. I don't have an answer to make someone help themselves...maybe if you called a domestic shelter they would have some answers or suggestions?
I'll suggest that. I'm pretty sure we don't have one in the town we live in but maybe there is one nearby.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
For a long time women had to fight to be treated equally so I understand extremes at that time but I am not sure if we presently still need to abide by such standards. If I apply for a job and get said job I want it to be because I am qualified not because I am a woman.
I hold the door open for anyone regardless of gender and really I expect the same in return. If I hold the door and someone walks through without thanking me.. I just cheerily say "you're welcome" and along I go. I can't help it that some people are rude.
Saying that ALL men are smarter than ALL women is just not very enlightened. So I am beginning to wonder if you truly are awesome??
I don't have myspace, I don't go on there and quite frankly after all the attention it receives in the media(negative) I am not sure why people would bother. People need to use common sense... not posting everything about your self on the www to see might be a start :rolleyes:.
John and Shandel? Have they ever been on Maury?
Abook, I hope your friend truly gets the help she needs. That is so scary. Scary for you and all that know her and I can' even imagine how scary that must be for her.
Hah no, they've never been on Maury. I started out as their legal guide. I made the suggestion of a guilty with diversion plea. Then I set them up with a "friend of the court" and he suggested the same thing. Then they went and got legal councel and they suggested the same plea.
I don't mean literally all men are smarter than all women. It's simply that one study showing women are better than men is accepted as standard. And actually when I was in high-school we were taught that women mature faster than men, which is sexist, IMO. I just want equality and that means women aren't better parents and don't mature faster.
Granted, women anotomically mature faster than men, E.g. they tend to develope pubic hair at a younger age than men, but that has nothing to do with social or psychological maturity. In-fact, when I was in grade 6, our english instructor asked the class to define maturity. A girl raised her hand and said it was relative to the size of a woman's boobs or a guy's penis. She was obviously wrong. After a few more imature answers, I raised my hand and stated "It's related to the way an individual deals with a specific problem" and I was given kudos by the teacher for being the only person in our class, probably our school that truely understood the definition of mature.
As an adult I still encounter people that have no idea what maturity is. As an example:
I state "I like playing computer games"
A girl/woman says "that is so imature"
My preference in pass times, like playing computer games as opposed to watching television has nothing to do with maturity. The statement made to me is actually not mature, it's judging me based on something rather irrelevant to maturity.
It's obvious that teaching students that generically woman mature faster than men, or girls mature faster than boys, is sexist.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
She comes to work with bruises all over. I tried to get her to have some pictures taken of them but she says 'yeah, I will do that.' and never does. And get this, she went to the store the other day and I guess she stayed out longer than she was supposed...anyways, he called the store, had them page her and then told her to come home! She's not 'allowed' to have a myspace, he deleted the one she had, and he has to approve of all the sites she visits. He constantly belittles her in front of people and criticizes everything she does or says. And here's the kicker, he's unemployeed and has been for quite sometime! She told me he goes out and buys beer everyday and makes her use .99 cent VO5 shampoo to save on money.
I wish she would take somebody's number and get the hell outta there. She's drop dead gorgeous and would have no problem replacing this jackass.
The problem is not that she's too stupid to move on. It's that she fears for her life. She has also told me of waking up in the middle of the night, gasping for breath and his hands around her neck....outta nowhere! I don't believe in murdering anyone usually but that guy would have to go!
If something isn't done she will die. These are not signs of a person who loves or even likes another person. Either you, her family, other friends or a combination thereof must organize a plan to get her out of there. Call the police (not 911) and ask them for advise on the best way for her to get away from him and keep him away. Sorry if I'm dramatic but this angers me beyond belief. Get her help now.
Hah no, they've never been on Maury. I started out as their legal guide. I made the suggestion of a guilty with diversion plea. Then I set them up with a "friend of the court" and he suggested the same thing. Then they went and got legal councel and they suggested the same plea.
I don't mean literally all men are smarter than all women. It's simply that one study showing women are better than men is accepted as standard. And actually when I was in high-school we were taught that women mature faster than men, which is sexist, IMO. I just want equality and that means women aren't better parents and don't mature faster.
Granted, women anotomically mature faster than men, E.g. they tend to develope pubic hair at a younger age than men, but that has nothing to do with social or psychological maturity. In-fact, when I was in grade 6, our english instructor asked the class to define maturity. A girl raised her hand and said it was relative to the size of a woman's boobs or a guy's penis. She was obviously wrong. After a few more imature answers, I raised my hand and stated "It's related to the way an individual deals with a specific problem" and I was given kudos by the teacher for being the only person in our class, probably our school that truely understood the definition of mature.
As an adult I still encounter people that have no idea what maturity is. As an example:
I state "I like playing computer games"
A girl/woman says "that is so imature"
My preference in pass times, like playing computer games as opposed to watching television has nothing to do with maturity. The statement made to me is actually not mature, it's judging me based on something rather irrelevant to maturity.
It's obvious that teaching students that generically woman mature faster than men, or girls mature faster than boys, is sexist.
Funny that some people don't get maturity. I may have had boobs before other girls in school but that didn't mean I was more mature ... I WISH it had.
A physical maturity yes maybe and sometimes we may have to try and act a little older in an attempt to keep up with our bodies but it just isn't the case.
I don't think a guy playing video games equates immaturity. A guy who ONLY plays these games and doesn't want to do anything else seems a bit anti social but I am not sure about immature.
I had to drop something off at my grandma's neighbor's house once and her two FORTY something sons were down in the basement playing video games. These two "men" had never left home and have actually probably never left PEI. Not only immature but freakin' SAD!!!
If something isn't done she will die. These are not signs of a person who loves or even likes another person. Either you, her family, other friends or a combination thereof must organize a plan to get her out of there. Call the police (not 911) and ask them for advise on the best way for her to get away from him and keep him away. Sorry if I'm dramatic but this angers me beyond belief. Get her help now.
No, I don't see it as dramatic. It's all I can think of lately. I wanna just go kidnap her somehow. I've offered her a place to stay so many times. She keeps saying she may show up this weekend with her stuff in hand....but that's every week. You're right, something has to change soon.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
No, I don't see it as dramatic. It's all I can think of lately. I wanna just go kidnap her somehow. I've offered her a place to stay so many times. She keeps saying she may show up this weekend with her stuff in hand....but that's every week. You're right, something has to change soon.
I just finished talking to my sister and was reminded of a similar situation she was in. I think cutback hit the nail on the head. A violent person is more likely to be violent in the presence of their victim. As long as your friend is with this guy he is going to be violent. That violence will most likely escalate, as it's the nature of emotional addiction. He seriously needs help, I know jail won't fix him, it will probably only make him more violent. Perhaps for her safety though, it's the only solution at present. Our jails really need to teach something besides just treating people like shit.
My sister's situation was with a guy that dealt drugs, stabbed people and so on. Real bad ass dude, I'm not sure what she saw in him, though I never met him. Some really bad stuff happened to her, he was really violent. After she finally left him he came around harassing her and threatening her. Finally she met someone new and the asshole stopped coming around. The problem was, the new guy was an asshole too.
I think self-awareness may be the key factor in being a nice person. Too many people aren't self-aware and treat others like shit. I haven't figured out a way of meeting nice people, but if I do I'll let everyone know. I personally think the internet is the best way going. You can talk to a person for as long as you like without divulging any personal information. Many people however lie to themselves about who they are, claiming to be things they are not. However, the odds of getting to know a persons true character are greater through prolonged internet dialog than the dance floor at a club.
The situation you are in Abook is a difficult one as well. You obviously care about your friend a lot and want to help her. The problem is being supportive and not coming across as interfering with her life. I've seen it too often when friends are lost because of those misunderstandings. A person can become defensive when stuck between their mate and their friend. Many times the result is bad and the person in the middle becomes polarized.
At any rate, I don't think she should be with him if he is violent or extremely manipulative. I don't want anyone to be in that situation. All the power to you and I wish you and your friend prosperity and security.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
I don't think a guy playing video games equates immaturity. A guy who ONLY plays these games and doesn't want to do anything else seems a bit anti social but I am not sure about immature.
I had to drop something off at my grandma's neighbor's house once and her two FORTY something sons were down in the basement playing video games. These two "men" had never left home and have actually probably never left PEI. Not only immature but freakin' SAD!!!
Well, the way I see it, if a person is paying their share of bills and that, there isn't anything immature about it. If they are just leeching off someone, they aren't taking responsibility for themselves and burdening someone else.
I lived with my grandmother for a few months. I stayed there with my dad, my aunt and my cousin. So there were a lot of us living there under my grandma's roof. I got a job eventually and started contributing, when my dad got a job we moved into an apartment and the two of us shared it. My aunt was a permanent resident sharing with my grandmother and my cousin eventually came to stay with my father and I. My cousin ended up moving out and moved to Winnipeg. My brother moved to Ontario from B.C. and moved in with our father and I. At that point we lived together for six years, 14 years my father and I lived together. We all provided our own contributions though, not always at the same time, but at different times. At other times we had one or two of my cousins stay with us and at other times my brother's friend stayed with us. We were like a big home for people struggling to get by, we all looked after each other and contributed different amounts at different times. I'm not saying it was at all easy, we had a few arguements here and there. But we played a shitload of computer games, all of us. My grandmother plays spider solitaire, we had a 10 computer network hooked up and everyone including my cousins, my aunt and my brother's friend played a lot of computer games and we all had fun. There is absolutely nothing immature about that.
My ex-girlfriend who also ended up living with us in the house thought it was really immature. She hated the fact that we let other people stay there that didn't contribute to the bills. She hated the fact that we played computer games a lot. She didn't like that we had a lot of company stop by to see different people. It was basically a public house. You walk out of the bedroom in the morning, you better have something on, cause Jim might be sleeping in the hallway. My ex absolutely hated it. But one day after her and I moved out and into our own apartment, she started to like this game I was playing called World of Warcraft. After a few weeks I couldn't play it anymore because she was dominating my computer playing her character. We started fighting over computer time. So I built her a computer and gave it to her. For the next six to eight months that's all she did was play games. I'd come home from work and she would be in her pajamas, not showered, with the headset on playing her game. She would barely even notice me when I came home. I think it's just totally ironic that she ended up doing what she hated and thought was immature. She did it to the extreme as well. That's where she ended up meeting her new boyfriend was through the game.
Haha makes me laugh, anyway sorry for the long story, I just wanted to share all of that.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
Hmm, this kind of situation is rough. Though I think, if she were to up and leave one night with no word, he would be even more pissed off than if she told him before hand he was leaving. In my experience, though I am not that kind of guy. She could have him charged or a restraining order placed on him as well. I know it's a rough situation, but it does get worse, and it's possible a guy like that would hurt her seriously without her leaving. But you and I know what's best as outsiders. That can't change her mind about it. Well, you can influence her, but only to a point. You can't force her to leave.
the girl is married to the guy w/ children so it's not as easy as just gettingup and leaving, also...he is pathetic tho...hasn't worked in years, she works like a dog while he buys beer every day, goes to college football games, does pretty much whatever he wants. he won't let her drive herself to work, either, he has to do it and he makes her sit in the van until it's 7:30 on the dot just so she doesn't have time to talk to any guys!!
to prove how pathetic he is they had to take their kids to a different school this year b/c he kept taking them out b/c he was bored and lonely at home by himself...the school complained and the oldest of the kids ended up failing last year. he's gotten a handful of jobs but never keeps them even a week, always some lame excuse about why it couldn't work. :rolleyes:
standin above the crowd
he had a voice that was strong and loud and
i swallowed his facade cos i'm so
eager to identify with
someone above the crowd
someone who seemed to feel the same
someone prepared to lead the way
there's tens of millions of people on MySpace. the media reports five stories about older men using MySpace to prey on teenage girls... and now somehow all men over 30 with a MySpace page are suspect.
the girl is married to the guy w/ children so it's not as easy as just gettingup and leaving, also...he is pathetic tho...hasn't worked in years, she works like a dog while he buys beer every day, goes to college football games, does pretty much whatever he wants. he won't let her drive herself to work, either, he has to do it and he makes her sit in the van until it's 7:30 on the dot just so she doesn't have time to talk to any guys!!
to prove how pathetic he is they had to take their kids to a different school this year b/c he kept taking them out b/c he was bored and lonely at home by himself...the school complained and the oldest of the kids ended up failing last year. he's gotten a handful of jobs but never keeps them even a week, always some lame excuse about why it couldn't work. :rolleyes:
Yea it's rough, but making excuses isn't going to change the situation. Sounds like she got in pretty deep, and is getting in even deeper. She could bail any time, she could have bailed months ago.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
I was talking to my friends and my sister about this, all women. They say at age 16 they knew exactly what they were doing. My sister is 22 now and she has a thing for a 45 year old. Those girls knew what they were getting into.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
I was talking to my friends and my sister about this, all women. They say at age 16 they knew exactly what they were doing. My sister is 22 now and she has a thing for a 45 year old. Those girls knew what they were getting into.
i agree ...im 21 and iv had quite a few old pervs msg me on myspace...i tell them to fuck off or just dont reply ....any self respecting girl would do the same 16 or not unless they were into that type of thing...ewww ...there should be somewhere on myspace to report sickos so their profile can be removed...
dream like your living forever
live like your dying today
i agree ...im 21 and iv had quite a few old pervs msg me on myspace...i tell them to fuck off or just dont reply ....any self respecting girl would do the same 16 or not unless they were into that type of thing...ewww ...there should be somewhere on myspace to report sickos so their profile can be removed...
Perhaps you can understand this, many people don't. I have a myspace account and I've spoken with underage people some girls some boys for quite a while. I've spoken with people since they were 14 up until they were 18, but I've never coerced or tried to coerce any of them into anything, nor have I ever met them. There is usually some shared interest, some other reason why I talk to them. As an example, I was talking to a 14 year old guy from Germany named Udo Jurgens, because he spoke German and was learning English. I spoke to a 12 year old girl in Sweden briefly to get some insight into their culture.
People can talk right? It's not like if you see a 25 year old guy talking to a 16 year old girl in public that anyone is going to stop them.
I necessarily have the passion for writing this, and you have the passion for condemning me; both of us are equally fools, equally the toys of destiny. Your nature is to do harm, mine is to love truth, and to make it public in spite of you. - Voltaire
Perhaps you can understand this, many people don't. I have a myspace account and I've spoken with underage people some girls some boys for quite a while. I've spoken with people since they were 14 up until they were 18, but I've never coerced or tried to coerce any of them into anything, nor have I ever met them. There is usually some shared interest, some other reason why I talk to them. As an example, I was talking to a 14 year old guy from Germany named Udo Jurgens, because he spoke German and was learning English. I spoke to a 12 year old girl in Sweden briefly to get some insight into their culture.
People can talk right? It's not like if you see a 25 year old guy talking to a 16 year old girl in public that anyone is going to stop them.
there is no harm in appropriat conversation
dream like your living forever
live like your dying today
Comments
No problems.
I actually have been wanting some advice about my friend though but didn't really know where to ask for it here. I guess the AET but I don't really know most of those guys. I'm extremely worried about her and don't have a clue how to help her.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
Honestly, she shouldn't stick around like that. I was so relieved when I got out of that situation. No one should dominate a relationship, unfortunately it happens a lot. Giver her my phone number
i agree (shit, we're not agreeing are we?). The quotas and mandates were definitely needed at times, but i was hoping that we as a society had moved passed where we have to mandate equality or if we don't get something we wouldn't scream it's b/c of inequality.
So... Hooters should have to hire 50% male waitresses.
She comes to work with bruises all over. I tried to get her to have some pictures taken of them but she says 'yeah, I will do that.' and never does. And get this, she went to the store the other day and I guess she stayed out longer than she was supposed...anyways, he called the store, had them page her and then told her to come home! She's not 'allowed' to have a myspace, he deleted the one she had, and he has to approve of all the sites she visits. He constantly belittles her in front of people and criticizes everything she does or says. And here's the kicker, he's unemployeed and has been for quite sometime! She told me he goes out and buys beer everyday and makes her use .99 cent VO5 shampoo to save on money.
I wish she would take somebody's number and get the hell outta there. She's drop dead gorgeous and would have no problem replacing this jackass.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
Well it's sad, but the only reason I complain about our system of equality, is because I know you have to whine and complain to get anything fixed. It shouldn't be that way, people should be able to see reality without becoming polarized and defensive. If I even hint that white men are in any way less fortunate than others, I am laughed at, called racist, sexist, etc.. Which is fucking ridiculous. Ok, I know women get fucked, I know minorities get fucked when applying for jobs run by racist or sexist assholes. But the legislation makes it legal to discriminate against all white men, wether they are the racist/sexist assholes or not.
Sounds like her situation will only get worse. I've learned that in relationships there tends to be no comfort room. You can't back down with out the other person taking over. You have to be constantly at war for your own personal freedom in that situation. It's a losing battle.
My ex never beat me, she threatened to murder me a couple of times, but I just laughed at her and said honestly I was upset that she intended to kill me. She should really get out of that relationship, it won't get any better, that's for sure.
there's tens of millions of people on MySpace. the media reports five stories about older men using MySpace to prey on teenage girls... and now somehow all men over 30 with a MySpace page are suspect.
Sorry to hear about that kind of abuse. :(
The problem is not that she's too stupid to move on. It's that she fears for her life. She has also told me of waking up in the middle of the night, gasping for breath and his hands around her neck....outta nowhere! I don't believe in murdering anyone usually but that guy would have to go!
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
Hmm, this kind of situation is rough. Though I think, if she were to up and leave one night with no word, he would be even more pissed off than if she told him before hand he was leaving. In my experience, though I am not that kind of guy. She could have him charged or a restraining order placed on him as well. I know it's a rough situation, but it does get worse, and it's possible a guy like that would hurt her seriously without her leaving. But you and I know what's best as outsiders. That can't change her mind about it. Well, you can influence her, but only to a point. You can't force her to leave.
God that is worrisome. She has every reason in the world to worry about her life. Shit. I don't have an answer to make someone help themselves...maybe if you called a domestic shelter they would have some answers or suggestions?
Where I'm not ugly and you're lookin' at me
But ultimately the worst thing that happened to her is her opinion of men. She can't have a relationship without worrying about those things now. It is, or was, always on her mind. She fabricated stories about me that weren't true to me, but certainly were to her past boyfriends.
I hold the door open for anyone regardless of gender and really I expect the same in return. If I hold the door and someone walks through without thanking me.. I just cheerily say "you're welcome" and along I go. I can't help it that some people are rude.
Saying that ALL men are smarter than ALL women is just not very enlightened. So I am beginning to wonder if you truly are awesome??
I don't have myspace, I don't go on there and quite frankly after all the attention it receives in the media(negative) I am not sure why people would bother. People need to use common sense... not posting everything about your self on the www to see might be a start :rolleyes:.
John and Shandel? Have they ever been on Maury?
Abook, I hope your friend truly gets the help she needs. That is so scary. Scary for you and all that know her and I can' even imagine how scary that must be for her.
I do think that the sexes are equal, but I'd never say that they were identical. There are some pretty obvious differences, as well as pretty obvious exceptions to every rule. I don't like it when people place value judgments on those differences and say that one is "better." We parent differently, we use our intelligence differently, we do a lot of things differently, and we're at our best when we make use of everyone's differing strengths.
I know. I worry about telling her to leave and then something very bad happening. I've suggested pressing charges and the restraining order. She says he will hunt her down no matter what. She told me if she ever got her own apartment she wants one a few stories up so he doesn't try to get in through her windows. I just couldn't imagine being in her position.
I'll suggest that. I'm pretty sure we don't have one in the town we live in but maybe there is one nearby.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
Hah no, they've never been on Maury. I started out as their legal guide. I made the suggestion of a guilty with diversion plea. Then I set them up with a "friend of the court" and he suggested the same thing. Then they went and got legal councel and they suggested the same plea.
I don't mean literally all men are smarter than all women. It's simply that one study showing women are better than men is accepted as standard. And actually when I was in high-school we were taught that women mature faster than men, which is sexist, IMO. I just want equality and that means women aren't better parents and don't mature faster.
Granted, women anotomically mature faster than men, E.g. they tend to develope pubic hair at a younger age than men, but that has nothing to do with social or psychological maturity. In-fact, when I was in grade 6, our english instructor asked the class to define maturity. A girl raised her hand and said it was relative to the size of a woman's boobs or a guy's penis. She was obviously wrong. After a few more imature answers, I raised my hand and stated "It's related to the way an individual deals with a specific problem" and I was given kudos by the teacher for being the only person in our class, probably our school that truely understood the definition of mature.
As an adult I still encounter people that have no idea what maturity is. As an example:
I state "I like playing computer games"
A girl/woman says "that is so imature"
My preference in pass times, like playing computer games as opposed to watching television has nothing to do with maturity. The statement made to me is actually not mature, it's judging me based on something rather irrelevant to maturity.
It's obvious that teaching students that generically woman mature faster than men, or girls mature faster than boys, is sexist.
Funny that some people don't get maturity. I may have had boobs before other girls in school
A physical maturity yes maybe and sometimes we may have to try and act a little older in an attempt to keep up with our bodies but it just isn't the case.
I don't think a guy playing video games equates immaturity. A guy who ONLY plays these games and doesn't want to do anything else seems a bit anti social but I am not sure about immature.
I had to drop something off at my grandma's neighbor's house once and her two FORTY something sons were down in the basement playing video games. These two "men" had never left home and have actually probably never left PEI. Not only immature but freakin' SAD!!!
No, I don't see it as dramatic. It's all I can think of lately. I wanna just go kidnap her somehow. I've offered her a place to stay so many times. She keeps saying she may show up this weekend with her stuff in hand....but that's every week. You're right, something has to change soon.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde
I just finished talking to my sister and was reminded of a similar situation she was in. I think cutback hit the nail on the head. A violent person is more likely to be violent in the presence of their victim. As long as your friend is with this guy he is going to be violent. That violence will most likely escalate, as it's the nature of emotional addiction. He seriously needs help, I know jail won't fix him, it will probably only make him more violent. Perhaps for her safety though, it's the only solution at present. Our jails really need to teach something besides just treating people like shit.
My sister's situation was with a guy that dealt drugs, stabbed people and so on. Real bad ass dude, I'm not sure what she saw in him, though I never met him. Some really bad stuff happened to her, he was really violent. After she finally left him he came around harassing her and threatening her. Finally she met someone new and the asshole stopped coming around. The problem was, the new guy was an asshole too.
I think self-awareness may be the key factor in being a nice person. Too many people aren't self-aware and treat others like shit. I haven't figured out a way of meeting nice people, but if I do I'll let everyone know. I personally think the internet is the best way going. You can talk to a person for as long as you like without divulging any personal information. Many people however lie to themselves about who they are, claiming to be things they are not. However, the odds of getting to know a persons true character are greater through prolonged internet dialog than the dance floor at a club.
The situation you are in Abook is a difficult one as well. You obviously care about your friend a lot and want to help her. The problem is being supportive and not coming across as interfering with her life. I've seen it too often when friends are lost because of those misunderstandings. A person can become defensive when stuck between their mate and their friend. Many times the result is bad and the person in the middle becomes polarized.
At any rate, I don't think she should be with him if he is violent or extremely manipulative. I don't want anyone to be in that situation. All the power to you and I wish you and your friend prosperity and security.
Well, the way I see it, if a person is paying their share of bills and that, there isn't anything immature about it. If they are just leeching off someone, they aren't taking responsibility for themselves and burdening someone else.
I lived with my grandmother for a few months. I stayed there with my dad, my aunt and my cousin. So there were a lot of us living there under my grandma's roof. I got a job eventually and started contributing, when my dad got a job we moved into an apartment and the two of us shared it. My aunt was a permanent resident sharing with my grandmother and my cousin eventually came to stay with my father and I. My cousin ended up moving out and moved to Winnipeg. My brother moved to Ontario from B.C. and moved in with our father and I. At that point we lived together for six years, 14 years my father and I lived together. We all provided our own contributions though, not always at the same time, but at different times. At other times we had one or two of my cousins stay with us and at other times my brother's friend stayed with us. We were like a big home for people struggling to get by, we all looked after each other and contributed different amounts at different times. I'm not saying it was at all easy, we had a few arguements here and there. But we played a shitload of computer games, all of us. My grandmother plays spider solitaire, we had a 10 computer network hooked up and everyone including my cousins, my aunt and my brother's friend played a lot of computer games and we all had fun. There is absolutely nothing immature about that.
My ex-girlfriend who also ended up living with us in the house thought it was really immature. She hated the fact that we let other people stay there that didn't contribute to the bills. She hated the fact that we played computer games a lot. She didn't like that we had a lot of company stop by to see different people. It was basically a public house. You walk out of the bedroom in the morning, you better have something on, cause Jim might be sleeping in the hallway. My ex absolutely hated it. But one day after her and I moved out and into our own apartment, she started to like this game I was playing called World of Warcraft. After a few weeks I couldn't play it anymore because she was dominating my computer playing her character. We started fighting over computer time. So I built her a computer and gave it to her. For the next six to eight months that's all she did was play games. I'd come home from work and she would be in her pajamas, not showered, with the headset on playing her game. She would barely even notice me when I came home. I think it's just totally ironic that she ended up doing what she hated and thought was immature. She did it to the extreme as well. That's where she ended up meeting her new boyfriend was through the game.
Haha makes me laugh, anyway sorry for the long story, I just wanted to share all of that.
the girl is married to the guy w/ children so it's not as easy as just gettingup and leaving, also...he is pathetic tho...hasn't worked in years, she works like a dog while he buys beer every day, goes to college football games, does pretty much whatever he wants. he won't let her drive herself to work, either, he has to do it and he makes her sit in the van until it's 7:30 on the dot just so she doesn't have time to talk to any guys!!
to prove how pathetic he is they had to take their kids to a different school this year b/c he kept taking them out b/c he was bored and lonely at home by himself...the school complained and the oldest of the kids ended up failing last year. he's gotten a handful of jobs but never keeps them even a week, always some lame excuse about why it couldn't work. :rolleyes:
he had a voice that was strong and loud and
i swallowed his facade cos i'm so
eager to identify with
someone above the crowd
someone who seemed to feel the same
someone prepared to lead the way
Anyone over 24 with a myspace page is suspect.
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Yea it's rough, but making excuses isn't going to change the situation. Sounds like she got in pretty deep, and is getting in even deeper. She could bail any time, she could have bailed months ago.
Negative.
I was talking to my friends and my sister about this, all women. They say at age 16 they knew exactly what they were doing. My sister is 22 now and she has a thing for a 45 year old. Those girls knew what they were getting into.
i agree ...im 21 and iv had quite a few old pervs msg me on myspace...i tell them to fuck off or just dont reply ....any self respecting girl would do the same 16 or not unless they were into that type of thing...ewww ...there should be somewhere on myspace to report sickos so their profile can be removed...
live like your dying today
Perhaps you can understand this, many people don't. I have a myspace account and I've spoken with underage people some girls some boys for quite a while. I've spoken with people since they were 14 up until they were 18, but I've never coerced or tried to coerce any of them into anything, nor have I ever met them. There is usually some shared interest, some other reason why I talk to them. As an example, I was talking to a 14 year old guy from Germany named Udo Jurgens, because he spoke German and was learning English. I spoke to a 12 year old girl in Sweden briefly to get some insight into their culture.
People can talk right? It's not like if you see a 25 year old guy talking to a 16 year old girl in public that anyone is going to stop them.
there is no harm in appropriat conversation
live like your dying today
You and a few million others.
But it's cute that you feel the need to defend your myspace page.
I suppose this way once you're "discovered" and have your hit single I can say: Even before he was big, I didn't care at all.
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