does anyone on this forum have aspergers syndrome?

sadscaryguy

hey guys i was just wondering if anyone on my friends list is familar with the condition called aspergers? well i was born with it and i have it but unfortunately im not as smart as einstein or bill gates. Ive had it since my whole life but was diagnosed at 14 and im 22 now do any of you know anything about aspergers? or have relatives or friends that have it at times i have to say it sucks having it because i get called names like retard for it etc and get put down by others or get called freak

soulsinging

i would tell you, but i dont know if im on your friends list or not. im pretty sure if i called you names it was becos of your politics

sponger

sadscaryguy wrote:

hey guys i was just wondering if anyone on my friends list is familar with the condition called aspergers? well i was born with it and i have it but unfortunately im not as smart as einstein or bill gates. Ive had it since my whole life but was diagnosed at 14 and im 22 now do any of you know anything about aspergers? or have relatives or friends that have it at times i have to say it sucks having it because i get called names like retard for it etc and get put down by others or get called freak

What symptoms are making your condition obvious to other people?

Restless Soul

sadscaryguy wrote:

hey guys i was just wondering if anyone on my friends list is familar with the condition called aspergers? well i was born with it and i have it but unfortunately im not as smart as einstein or bill gates. Ive had it since my whole life but was diagnosed at 14 and im 22 now do any of you know anything about aspergers? or have relatives or friends that have it at times i have to say it sucks having it because i get called names like retard for it etc and get put down by others or get called freak

I'm so sorry to hear that. (((hugs))) You're not a freak or a retard. It's a condition and its not your fault you have it.

I don't know much about it myself but I've spoken to people about it for work, and this is what I've been told by workers.

Aspergers is a condition on the high end of the autism spectrum. Autism and Aspergers are related conditions but the difference is that while people with autism have significant learning difficulties as well as an inability to relate to others, people with aspergers don't have the learning difficulty. So if you have Aspergers you are probably highly intelligent or as intelligent as anyone else without the conditions, but the issue is how you relate to other people.

People with aspergers apparently lack social "imagination", In other words interpersonal skills such as the ability to know how others might be feeling, empathy skills, or how words and phrases might have different meanings. People with aspergers often take things literally which can make things difficult for them and others.

It's ironic that people with asperger's have this condition and still get called names like freak - sounds like the bullies are the ones with poor interpersonal skills, and they have no excuse!

Btw, have you ever read a book called "The curious incident of the dog in the night time" by Mark HAddon? Its about a boy with aspergers and his story in his own words (fiction). It's a very good book
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Curious-Incident-Dog-Night-time-Adult/dp/0099450259/sr=8-1/qid=1163260388/ref=pd_ka_1/203-4631480-0019943?ie=UTF8&s=books

BTW, I don't know what country you're in but in the UK there's the national autistic society - their website might be helpful for information: http://www.nas.org.uk/

cornnifer

sadscaryguy wrote:

hey guys i was just wondering if anyone on my friends list is familar with the condition called aspergers? well i was born with it and i have it but unfortunately im not as smart as einstein or bill gates. Ive had it since my whole life but was diagnosed at 14 and im 22 now do any of you know anything about aspergers? or have relatives or friends that have it at times i have to say it sucks having it because i get called names like retard for it etc and get put down by others or get called freak

i have a limited experience with aspergers children in a classroom setting. Usually they have exceptionally high IQs but struggle a little with organizing their thoughts or verbalizing them. You are in absolutely no way a "freak" or "retard".

justam

sadscaryguy wrote:

hey guys i was just wondering if anyone on my friends list is familar with the condition called aspergers? well i was born with it and i have it but unfortunately im not as smart as einstein or bill gates. Ive had it since my whole life but was diagnosed at 14 and im 22 now do any of you know anything about aspergers? or have relatives or friends that have it at times i have to say it sucks having it because i get called names like retard for it etc and get put down by others or get called freak

I'm familiar with this. My first son has it.

I'm sorry people have called you mean names. :(

Were you asking just to know whether you have company here?

harmless_little_f***

sponger wrote:

What symptoms are making your condition obvious to other people?

Sorry, but I find that a weird response. Don't know why. Should he try to mask them to be accepted?

sponger

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Sorry, but I find that a weird response. Don't know why. Should he try to mask them to be accepted?

Many people with asperger's can function normally without their condition being obvious. I'm just curious to know what would cause people to call him a retard. Aspergers sufferers generally don't act retarded.

Jeanwah

Speaking on behalf of all those w/ Asperger's, Autism and Down syndrome, the word "retard" is derogatory and demeaning. My daughter has Downs and when I hear someone using that word to describe someone who is metally challenged, it really pisses me off! So quit using it and show some respect to sadscaryguy!

sponger

Jeanwah wrote:

Speaking on behalf of all those w/ Asperger's, Autism and Down syndrome, the word "retard" is derogatory and demeaning. My daughter has Downs and when I hear someone using that word to describe someone who is metally challenged, it really pisses me off! So quit using it and show some respect to sadscaryguy!

No one is showing disrespect to sadscaryguy. And no one is abusing the word retard.

Jeanwah

sponger wrote:

No one is showing disrespect to sadscaryguy. And no one is abusing the word retard.

The very word, in itself, is demeaning and derogatory.

Restless Soul

Jeanwah wrote:

The very word, in itself, is demeaning and derogatory.

Yeah, I'm quite surprised at how freely americans use words like "retard" - I never hear that word in Britain, especially if used in conjunction with a disabled person. It's just not on!

sponger

I guess some people just have a really difficult time understanding when the context can change the perceived usage of a word. When using the word retard, I was quoting sadscaryguy's co-workers. I was not calling him a retard.

Again, retard is what his co-workers call him. So, to get to the bottom of this, one has to stay on topic by referring to the put-down at hand.

Thumbing_My_Way

I'm a little familiar with asperger , more with add and pdd-nos
i have a daughter with add , and a son with pdd-nos subgroup mcdd
I try to see it as a gift, which isn't always easy, instead of a disability

I don't know where you live , but here we can get help in guidance, seems like you need a way to learn to cope with having asperger , and maybe eventually see the benefit of it

We need people with this "gift" in this world, cause in my opinion they make you see things in perspective and my kids made me see what's really important

It's hard for me to explain this in English
Hope you find your way

Jeanwah

sponger wrote:

I guess some people just have a really difficult time understanding when the context can change the perceived usage of a word. When using the word retard, I was quoting sadscaryguy's co-workers. I was not calling him a retard.

Again, retard is what his co-workers call him. So, to get to the bottom of this, one has to stay on topic by referring to the put-down at hand.

I don't think you are understanding me. It has nothing to do w/ context or perceived definition. The word, in itself, regardless of how it is used, is just plain rude, and demeaning.

sponger

Jeanwah wrote:

I don't think you are understanding me. It has nothing to do w/ context or perceived definition. The word, in itself, regardless of how it is used, is just plain rude, and demeaning.

No, I understand you. I understand how you lack the ability to understand the concept of context. You can continue on not understanding if that be to your liking.

I don't advocate the usage of the word retard. I am merely trying to understand why his co-workers call him that. To do that, I have to repeat the word retard so as to stay on topic.

Now, here's your homework assignment: sit down for awhile and re-read my post until you get it. Then reply to this thread.

angelica

I see what you are saying, sponger. I also did not feel the word was being used disrespectfully in this thread.

Also, I do not think the word in itself is demeaning and derogatory. I realize it can be used disrespectfully, or that it can trigger an emotional response in someone. I definitely understand that someone might be highly sensitive to the word being used at all, for various reasons.

Thumbing_My_Way

Please keep this thread for someone who needs some help and advice instead of arguing about a really nasty word

Jeanwah

sponger wrote:

No, I understand you. I understand how you lack the ability to understand the concept of context. You can continue on not understanding if that be to your liking.

I don't advocate the usage of the word retard. I am merely trying to understand why his co-workers call him that. To do that, I have to repeat the word retard so as to stay on topic.

You're trying to understand why his co-workers call him that word. I'm trying to understand why so many people freely use the word thinking nothing of it. Maybe it's because he has a disability here. And that is why people think nothing of it. Maybe people are ignorant, or do not know personally anyone who has a mental condition. Whatever. My problem is not misunderstanding the context of the way the word is being used, it is the word itself. If you want to refer to someone w/ Asperger's you don't have to use a demeaning word, you don't have to be cruel, just like his co-workers. I'm not saying you are calling him that word, but that the word itself is damaging regardless of how it's being used.

That said, I just want to say Thank God for people like you sadscaryguy. You, along w/ my daughter who has Down syndrome, have a lot to teach the rest of this world, that you see the world with innocent eyes and I have already learned how much of a blessing you are to all the rest of us. You may have challenges with some things, but those of us who have don't have Aspergers and Downs could really benefit from knowing people like you, and it would make life for everyone much richer.

sponger

Jeanwah wrote:

You're trying to understand why his co-workers call him that word. I'm trying to understand why so many people freely use the word thinking nothing of it. Maybe it's because he has a disability here. And that is why people think nothing of it. Maybe people are ignorant, or do not know personally anyone who has a mental condition. Whatever. My problem is not misunderstanding the context of the way the word is being used, it is the word itself. If you want to refer to someone w/ Asperger's you don't have to use a demeaning word, you don't have to be cruel, just like his co-workers. I'm not saying you are calling him that word, but that the word itself is damaging regardless of how it's being used.

He clearly indicated in his post that his co-workers call him a retard. So, this means that he is willing to talk about it.

Like you keep saying, all you see is the word itself without the context. Well, that's called not understanding the context. You compensate for this lack of understanding by trying to sound as though you're just being sympathetic toward his condition. Well, that doesn't make any sense when havi sympathy also involves understanding what he's going through. Being called a retard is part of what he's going through. You either understand it or you don't. Apparently, you don't really understand it.

I think the problem here is that you have close ones who are suffering from this condition and who probably go through harassment of their own. So, you're looking for any opportunity you can find to lash out at anybody for said harassment. This desperation for revenge has led you to act irrationally, such as the way you've been acting in this thread.

Also, one more thing:

If you want to refer to someone w/ Asperger's you don't have to use a demeaning word, you don't have to be cruel, just like his co-workers

This is what I'm talking about. You're imagining that I'm making fun of him like his co-workers. You see, I'm not actually referring to him as a retard. I'm referring to the way his co-workers refer to him.

Skitch Patterson

wow. So does this thread win some of award for showing exactly how over PC people can be?

trappedinmyradio

Jeanwah wrote:

I don't think you are understanding me. It has nothing to do w/ context or perceived definition. The word, in itself, regardless of how it is used, is just plain rude, and demeaning.

you are of the opinion that it is rude and demeaning. it's just another word to describe something. get over the whole PC thing and just your life.

harmless_little_f***

sponger wrote:

Many people with asperger's can function normally without their condition being obvious. I'm just curious to know what would cause people to call him a retard. Aspergers sufferers generally don't act retarded.

Jeanwah is right. This is the point where I stopped talking to you in this thread, sponger. 'Aspergers sufferers generally don't act retarded.' Oh, really? Who does then? Which disability do you have to have to act retarded? You clearly used the word as some sort of scientific label.

sponger

harmless_little_f*** wrote:

Jeanwah is right. This is the point where I stopped talking to you in this thread, sponger. 'Aspergers sufferers generally don't act retarded.' Oh, really? Who does then? Which disability do you have to have to act retarded? You clearly used the word as some sort of scientific label.

You're jumping to way too many conclusions for me to even begin trying to reconcile points of view with you, but I'm going to try.

I've been around many retarded people. Haven't you? They generally exhibit signs of imparied motor skills, impaired speech delivery, and a general "slowness" in grasping ideas. Not all retarded exhibit each of those behaviors. And not all retarded people act the same, but the overall majority exhibit common behavioral characteristics.

There are obviously various levels of mental retardation. I'm not saying that all retarded people walk funny and have a continuous flow of saliva dripping form the sides of their mouths. And I'm not saying that all people who exhibit those behaviors suffer from mental retardation.

Let me save you some time by instructing you on how to respond from now on.

"Sponger, I dont' understand what retardation is, yet I'm going to try to act like someone who is fighting for their dignity. You're an easy target because this is the internet and there is no accountability for shallow comments that are totally lacking in insight. Meanwhile, I get to waste your time with my nonsensical rhetoric."

Just copy and paste it into your next post.

Puck78

sponger wrote:

You're jumping to way too many conclusions for me to even begin trying to reconcile points of view with you, but I'm going to try.

I've been around many retarded people. Haven't you? They generally exhibit signs of imparied motor skills, impaired speech delivery, and a general "slowness" in grasping ideas. Not all retarded exhibit each of those behaviors. And not all retarded people act the same, but the overall majority exhibit common behavioral characteristics.

There are obviously various levels of mental retardation. I'm not saying that all retarded people walk funny and have a continuous flow of saliva dripping form the sides of their mouths. And I'm not saying that all people who exhibit those behaviors suffer from mental retardation.

Let me save you some time by instructing you on how to respond from now on.

"Sponger, I dont' understand what retardation is, yet I'm going to try to act like someone who is fighting for their dignity. You're an easy target because this is the internet and there is no accountability for shallow comments that are totally lacking in insight. Meanwhile, I get to waste your time with my nonsensical rhetoric."

Just copy and paste it into your next post.

Am I the only one to find sponger's answer disturbing?

harmless_little_f***

Puck78 wrote:

Am I the only one to find sponger's answer disturbing?

I find sponger disturbing.

Look, sponger, I'm going to level with you: can you just NOT use the word retarded, please? Read a fucking book. Preferrably one that was written in this decade; or maybe the last two.

sponger

Hey guys:

Just look up the word "context" in a dictionary. Then send me your apologies via PM's so as to save yourselves open humiliation.

If ever you need me to explain to either of you the obvious, just feel free to ask.

Meanwhile, I will continue to use the word retarded as it is relevant to this discussion and is not being directed toward anybody in a derogatory manner. LMAO at people who just cannot understand that. It's just astounding as to how much some of you lack the ability to comprehend.

wendy1976

sponger wrote:

So, you're looking for any opportunity you can find to lash out at anybody for said harassment. This desperation for revenge has led you to act irrationally, such as the way you've been acting in this thread.
quote]
And i think you are looking for an opportunity to be right and to show that you are good with words and turning this thread into a debate about a word you keep using even when you know it upsets others.You did not say anything to the thread starter other then your first message.He was looking for some help/info....not an discussion on a word that clearly upsets him.

sponger

Puck78 wrote:

Am I the only one to find sponger's answer disturbing?

You and other people who are hopelessly lacking in common sense.

sponger

wendy1976 wrote:

a word you keep using even when you know it upsets others.

It upsets them because they are lacking in common sense. You see, It's not that I'm "good with words". It's just that I make sense when I speak. Some people have a problem with that, so they get upset. They then try to justify their feelings by projecting a false image of a moral highground.

Frankly, I find it ironic that you cast me to blame for this continued discussion on the usage of the word retarded. Did you somehow not notice the other people who keep dragging this on as well? Are they justified just because they are "upset"? Do you know what it means when people get upset because they don't understand what is being said?

harmless_little_f***

sponger wrote:

It upsets them because they are lacking in common sense. You see, It's not that I'm "good with words". It's just that I make sense when I speak. Some people have a problem with that, so they get upset. They then try to justify their feelings by projecting a false image of a moral highground.

Frankly, I find it ironic that you cast me to blame for this continued discussion on the usage of the word retarded. Did you somehow not notice the other people who keep dragging this on as well? Are they justified just because they are "upset"? Do you know what it means when people get upset because they don't understand what is being said?

So you're saying that disabled people who get called 'retard' are only upset because they are lacking common sense?

Screw context. 'Retarded' is just an archaic, massively offensive word. Do not use it again.