Spanking may lead to aggression and sexual problems later in life
SuzannePjam
Posts: 411
I know some parents do spank their kids and think it's effective, but I could never imagine spanking my kids. I was spanked as a kid and it just made me so angry back then.
Spare the Rod?
Spanking may lead to aggression and sexual problems later in life, says a new study. So why do so many parents still believe in it?
By Claudia Kalb | Newsweek Web Exclusive
It's a topic that riles up emotions and opinions the way few others do in the contentious world of parenting philosophies. Spanking. Should you? How could you? Is it right? Is it wrong? Online message boards are flooded with messages on the topic: the confessions, the wrath, the full-on support. "Yes, I've done it, even though I always swore I wouldn't," writes one. "Sometimes spanking works best," responds another. And then there are the vocal opponents. "Spanking," writes one, "is abuse."
The spanking wrangle has a long history in scientific research, and new findings to be reported today at the American Psychological Association Summit Conference on Violence and Abuse in Relationships will intensify the debate yet again. In a provocative paper, Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, says that spanking kids increases their risk of sexual problems as adults. Straus, a longtime researcher in the field, analyzed four prior studies and found that teens or young adults whose parents used corporal punishment were more likely to coerce dating partners into having sex or to engage in risky or masochistic sex.
One stat: the 25 percent of university students who ranked highest on a corporal punishment scale insisted on sex without a condom, compared with the 12.5 percent of university students who scored lowest on the scale. Another: 75 percent of college students who'd been spanked a lot said they were sexually aroused by masochistic sex, compared with 40 percent of students who were never spanked. "It's so consistent with so many other studies showing harmful side effects," says Straus. "It didn't surprise me."
The new study has its weaknesses, but so does just about every other paper in the field. For starters, you can't study spanking in the randomized double-blind way you can a medication. It would be ethically inappropriate to divide a bunch of kids into two groups, spank some, spare others and then compare how they fare 10 or 20 years down the road. And double-blind? Impossible to disguise spanking in a dummy pill. So there's no way to absolutely prove cause and effect. The study also relies on students' own recollections of their childhood experiences. Straus says he controlled for people covering up mistreatment by their parents. On the other hand, the students could also have exaggerated. "It's possible," says Strauss, "though I don't find it too plausible."
Elizabeth Gershoff, a researcher at University of Michigan's School of Social Work, says Straus's findings are consistent with the literature. "I have every faith in his research," Gershoff says. "The more children are spanked, the more aggressive they are and the more likely they are to engage in delinquent or at-risk behaviors." Sexual behavior is just one example of that behavior, she says. One lesson kids learn, says Gershoff, is that if you have the power in a relationship, you can use aggression to get your way. Another: "[Kids] may learn that sometimes there's pain and fear involved in loving relationships."
Gershoff, who published a large analysis of the spanking research in 2002 and has just completed a new paper about spanking in the context of human rights and public policy, says spanking may work to gets kids' attention, but it doesn't teach them how to behave appropriately in the long-term. A little tap once in a while is going to have minimal risk, but the risk increases "the more you do it and the harder you do it," she says. "I think everything we know from the research is that it doesn't work and it might have negative side effects."
Not every scientist agrees. Robert Larzelere, a human development researcher at Oklahoma State University, says that "conditional" or "backup" spanking in two-to-six-year-old kids can be useful. The spanking needs to be nonabusive (two open-hand swats on the behind from a parent who's not "angrily out of control") and it needs to be used not as a first line of response but as a backup to other kinds of discipline, like timeouts, grounding and reasoning. "Under these conditions, the evidence suggests that it's effective," says Larzelere. Too often, he says, spanking research lumps corporal punishment into one big group, failing to draw the line between overly severe punishment and a couple of taps on the buttocks. His conclusion: conditional spanking isn't more harmful than any other kind of discipline. The key, he says, is that parents need to discriminate between "inappropriate and appropriate use."
No single study is likely to stop the practice of spanking. The Bible says, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him," and plenty of Americans interpret the passage literally. The Christian group Focus on the Family, for example, says there's no excuse for abusing a child, but spanking is OK when it's done right. "We believe that appropriate, disciplinary spanking, used in the context of a warm, nurturing parent-child relationship, is not abusive or harmful to the emotional well-being of the child," says Bill Maier, Focus on the Family's vice president and psychologist in residence,*in an e-mail.
But researchers like Straus, who calls himself a humanist, say children need to be protected. Nobody knows exactly how many people spank their kids, but in one survey Straus found that more than 90 percent of Americans have spanked their toddlers, and while not all will turn out to have dysfunctional sex lives or be aggressive adults, he and others are worried about those who might.
Should there be a policy against it? The American Academy of Pediatrics goes as far as to say that parents should be encouraged to use other methods of discipline. Twenty-two states, meanwhile, still allow spanking in schools. And while there's plenty of grass-roots effort to end it (the group End Physical Punishment of Children, or EPOCH-USA, is holding its annual SpankOut Day on April 30), many Americans are wary of taking too radical a step. When Sally Lieber, an assemblywoman in Silicon Valley, introduced a bill last year that would ban corporal punishment in her state, the public let her know that they didn't want the government messing with their parental rights. "It obviously touched a nerve," says Lieber. "It was like being in the eye of giant cultural hurricane." A hurricane that shows no signs of dissipating."
Spare the Rod?
Spanking may lead to aggression and sexual problems later in life, says a new study. So why do so many parents still believe in it?
By Claudia Kalb | Newsweek Web Exclusive
It's a topic that riles up emotions and opinions the way few others do in the contentious world of parenting philosophies. Spanking. Should you? How could you? Is it right? Is it wrong? Online message boards are flooded with messages on the topic: the confessions, the wrath, the full-on support. "Yes, I've done it, even though I always swore I wouldn't," writes one. "Sometimes spanking works best," responds another. And then there are the vocal opponents. "Spanking," writes one, "is abuse."
The spanking wrangle has a long history in scientific research, and new findings to be reported today at the American Psychological Association Summit Conference on Violence and Abuse in Relationships will intensify the debate yet again. In a provocative paper, Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, says that spanking kids increases their risk of sexual problems as adults. Straus, a longtime researcher in the field, analyzed four prior studies and found that teens or young adults whose parents used corporal punishment were more likely to coerce dating partners into having sex or to engage in risky or masochistic sex.
One stat: the 25 percent of university students who ranked highest on a corporal punishment scale insisted on sex without a condom, compared with the 12.5 percent of university students who scored lowest on the scale. Another: 75 percent of college students who'd been spanked a lot said they were sexually aroused by masochistic sex, compared with 40 percent of students who were never spanked. "It's so consistent with so many other studies showing harmful side effects," says Straus. "It didn't surprise me."
The new study has its weaknesses, but so does just about every other paper in the field. For starters, you can't study spanking in the randomized double-blind way you can a medication. It would be ethically inappropriate to divide a bunch of kids into two groups, spank some, spare others and then compare how they fare 10 or 20 years down the road. And double-blind? Impossible to disguise spanking in a dummy pill. So there's no way to absolutely prove cause and effect. The study also relies on students' own recollections of their childhood experiences. Straus says he controlled for people covering up mistreatment by their parents. On the other hand, the students could also have exaggerated. "It's possible," says Strauss, "though I don't find it too plausible."
Elizabeth Gershoff, a researcher at University of Michigan's School of Social Work, says Straus's findings are consistent with the literature. "I have every faith in his research," Gershoff says. "The more children are spanked, the more aggressive they are and the more likely they are to engage in delinquent or at-risk behaviors." Sexual behavior is just one example of that behavior, she says. One lesson kids learn, says Gershoff, is that if you have the power in a relationship, you can use aggression to get your way. Another: "[Kids] may learn that sometimes there's pain and fear involved in loving relationships."
Gershoff, who published a large analysis of the spanking research in 2002 and has just completed a new paper about spanking in the context of human rights and public policy, says spanking may work to gets kids' attention, but it doesn't teach them how to behave appropriately in the long-term. A little tap once in a while is going to have minimal risk, but the risk increases "the more you do it and the harder you do it," she says. "I think everything we know from the research is that it doesn't work and it might have negative side effects."
Not every scientist agrees. Robert Larzelere, a human development researcher at Oklahoma State University, says that "conditional" or "backup" spanking in two-to-six-year-old kids can be useful. The spanking needs to be nonabusive (two open-hand swats on the behind from a parent who's not "angrily out of control") and it needs to be used not as a first line of response but as a backup to other kinds of discipline, like timeouts, grounding and reasoning. "Under these conditions, the evidence suggests that it's effective," says Larzelere. Too often, he says, spanking research lumps corporal punishment into one big group, failing to draw the line between overly severe punishment and a couple of taps on the buttocks. His conclusion: conditional spanking isn't more harmful than any other kind of discipline. The key, he says, is that parents need to discriminate between "inappropriate and appropriate use."
No single study is likely to stop the practice of spanking. The Bible says, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him," and plenty of Americans interpret the passage literally. The Christian group Focus on the Family, for example, says there's no excuse for abusing a child, but spanking is OK when it's done right. "We believe that appropriate, disciplinary spanking, used in the context of a warm, nurturing parent-child relationship, is not abusive or harmful to the emotional well-being of the child," says Bill Maier, Focus on the Family's vice president and psychologist in residence,*in an e-mail.
But researchers like Straus, who calls himself a humanist, say children need to be protected. Nobody knows exactly how many people spank their kids, but in one survey Straus found that more than 90 percent of Americans have spanked their toddlers, and while not all will turn out to have dysfunctional sex lives or be aggressive adults, he and others are worried about those who might.
Should there be a policy against it? The American Academy of Pediatrics goes as far as to say that parents should be encouraged to use other methods of discipline. Twenty-two states, meanwhile, still allow spanking in schools. And while there's plenty of grass-roots effort to end it (the group End Physical Punishment of Children, or EPOCH-USA, is holding its annual SpankOut Day on April 30), many Americans are wary of taking too radical a step. When Sally Lieber, an assemblywoman in Silicon Valley, introduced a bill last year that would ban corporal punishment in her state, the public let her know that they didn't want the government messing with their parental rights. "It obviously touched a nerve," says Lieber. "It was like being in the eye of giant cultural hurricane." A hurricane that shows no signs of dissipating."
"Where there is sacrifice there is someone collecting the sacrificial offerings."-- Ayn Rand
"Some of my friends sit around every evening and they worry about the times ahead,
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference and the promise of an early bed..."-- Elvis Costello
"Some of my friends sit around every evening and they worry about the times ahead,
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference and the promise of an early bed..."-- Elvis Costello
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Comments
Uh oh. This topic always gets people going.
Anyone who spanks their kid does so because they lack self-control. It is much easier to simply hit them than it is to actually try to teach them and reason with them. Hitting them to teach them a lesson, definitely teaches them a lesson, but it might not be the one you're trying to teach. And spanking doesn't earn you any respect, it just teaches them to fear you. I'd rather be loved and respected by my kids than feared by them.
OK all of you child abusers, let's hear your rationalizations...
That said, I believe that it is up to the parent how to discipline their children and who am I to judge if I don't agree with it?
damn i feel like i deserve some money or something. I'm a victim! It has led me to aggressively beat my meat. i need help.
We had a 'Saturday box' that was used, i guess instead of spanking. We had to put our favorite toy in the box and it wasn't allowed out till Saturday. It would seriously suck if you misbehaved on a Sunday. A week is a long time if you are a little kid. There were no exceptions as to getting it out. Had to be Saturday, never earlier. And we always had to talk about why it got put in there. My parents were fairly consistent, sometimes kinda tough with their silly rules, but i always felt loved. Never scared.
You can't spank a teenager, you have to build up some other way of communicating your unhappiness with what you feel your child is doing wrong way before they reach that age, by talking and explaining. Not hitting.
"He believed in spanking his son and said it was the only way to teach the son that he did something wrong. I asked him if he made a mistake at work would he prefer his boss to hit him or talk to him about it and from which method would he learn the lesson most effectively."
Except that the mind of a 5 year old and a 25 year old is different. Sometimes you can sit down with a kid and explain to him, other times, the kid won't listen.
Good post. I was spanked a few times when I was younger and I have none of these problems mentioned.
I can't understand how some people think that talking to their kids is all that it takes to bring them up right. Sometimes kids get totally out of control and a spanking is in order... not a violent smack that hurts so much they cry, but enough to make them understand.
I am a man, I am advanced.....I am the first man to borrow Stone's leather pants!
As an adult, I avoid conflict with loved ones to an unhealthy extent. I'm sure it has a bit to do with as a kid knowing if I laid low, I was less likely to be noticed, get screamed at and beaten.
I don't think teaching kids to fear their parents is good.
I like the method one of my former employers' used with their kids. CHORES
Lots and lots of chores.
Done stacking the wood. Good. Now take all of it and stack it on the other side of the yard.
All three of their kids are growing into wonderful adults.
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Alot of the people who disagree with the spanking, their experiences seemed to be closer to abuse than the rest of us who see nothing wrong with it. I was certainly not an abused child and the spanking was never done out of anger nor was it a loss of control. In fact quite the opposite, it was very well controlled... we were never in any doubt as to what we had done wrong and why this had to happen... and we'd certainly never consider doing it again.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
well said.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
I agree. It happened to me maybe 5 times, that's all it took. All I needed to hear is "If I need to get your dad to teach you" then suddenly I was more than happy to comply.
That said, spanking doesn't mean leaving bruises and welps. Just a sting and a loud sound that's worse than reality.
But hey, if only talking works, then good for you. I'm not going to criticize how anyone raises their kids, especially if it works. But linking spanking to child abuse is just shock factor and nothing more.
Of course if I ever have kids, I'd be MORE than happy to never need to give them a tap and just sit them down and explain why their actions are wrong... and of course then they'll go out and do drugs and beat up elderly neighbours thinking 'well my parents will just have a little chat with me anyway so fuck it'
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
my parents spanked me and i did those things.
If your child grows up undiciplined... they will surely have issues.
Dicipline has many forms it dosen't have to include spanking, but I turned out ok. and when I got spanked... I deserved it.
that's pretty easy really. Catholic School education or that super draconian upbringing where the parents try to shield the kid from any supposed ills of the world kind of thing... basically that faux religious fundamentalist upbringing... those are the spicy ones.
Those and the mid 30's early 40's little bit of baggage... yowsa.
Besides, did spanking also lead to you being the future president of America?
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
i think therein lies the flaw.
no one factor is controlling. spanking does not inevitably create psychos. not spanking does not inevitably create wild, disrespectful children. you're making generalizations that seem awfully similar to ones i make in other areas
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
all i ever do is note trends too
but given my love for sociology, i see what you're saying. it's an interesting theory, though i think it has more to do with newfound wealth and leisure in ireland. i was reading an article about how ireland's priest population is in crisis. once europe's biggest provider of priests, they can't even fill their own parishes now. there are a lot of changes over there, bound to be growing pains.
I was spanked rarely as a child, and I don't think I'm damaged by it. The fact that I only had to be spanked a total of about 3 times before I learned not to be a brat kinda speaks for itself.
It's true we've less priests now... but a lot of that has to do with how years ago alot of fellas who thought they were gay or who were gay joined the priesthood or were forced to join cos it simply wasn't acceptable to be gay and this way there'd be no questions as to why they're not married.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
the drop i heard wasn in the thousands. that's a LOT of gay people
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you