question for the parents.....

my2hands

josevolution wrote:

i can't see me lighting up with him at no age, maybe share a beer when he turns 18

whats the difference?

and for the record, it is a bad idea to smoke weed with your teen child

but again, what is the difference between smoking a join or drinking a beer with them?

QuarterToTen

my2hands wrote:

whats the difference?

and for the record, it is a bad idea to smoke weed with your teen child

but again, what is the difference between smoking a join or drinking a beer with them?

because marijuana is an illegal substance. big difference.

why anyone would ever feel the need to smoke a joint with or in front of their child i'll never know. its just plain wrong.

surferdude

my2hands wrote:

but again, what is the difference between smoking a join or drinking a beer with them?

Except for the illegality of it which should be a big issue for a parent the big difference I see is that when Isit down with my kid when he's 16 and share a beer with him while camping or something that's where it'll stop. One beer.

My kid has seen me drunk maybe twice in his life. The people I know who smoke pot quite often don't stop at one hit. Most people I know smoke to get stoned. There's a big difference between enjoying a beer or glass of wine for the flavor and drinking to get drunk.

Kann

my2hands wrote:

whats the difference?

Illegality for one. And the ritual of rolling it, it's not like beer which you pull out and open, it's a more elaborate procedure.
Also, after one joint I'd be stoned (and my kid as well I guess) which would not be the case with the beer.
I think the major problem would be getting stoned with my kid, having a beer or two sure, getting us drunk... not till his wedding.

JaneNY

I don't believe in smoking it and I certainly wouldn't do it with my kid. I'm not going to judge other families, but that won't be happening around here. We've made the committment to keep our minds sharp and stay away from mind-altering stuff.

Brain of J.Lo

At age 17, I don't think it's appropriate.

A year or so later, it's up to the individual.

edited to add: I also disagree with drinking with kids under the age of 18, for what it's worth.

Drowned Out

To all those talking illegality....what lesson does it teach a kid if they find out you smoke it, which demonstrates the fact that you do not support the current laws....and you are being hypocritical by demonizing it's use to them? Should we teach them to stand up against what we see as injustice?

Also, to say that one beer with an underage kid is ok, but a joint is not because of intoxication levels is generally incorrect.

I'd argue that a glass of wine or one or two beers in a person that is inexperienced with alcohol (and probably has little tolerance) is as impairing as smoking an average joint between two or three people...probably with LESS damage to their bodies and brains.
I don't have them handy at the moment, but I have posted links in the past showing that people are generally "stoned" for 20-30 minutes, then have a slight buzz for about 2-3 hours. Which I would think would be the same effect a fair sized glass of wine or a beer or two would have on a young person....

tybird

JaneNY wrote:

I don't believe in smoking it and I certainly wouldn't do it with my kid. I'm not going to judge other families, but that won't be happening around here. We've made the committment to keep our minds sharp and stay away from mind-altering stuff.

Yeah!!!!! Somebody else on this board with some sense when it comes to weed. Never smoked........never will.

soulsinging

tybird wrote:

Yeah!!!!! Somebody else on this board with some sense when it comes to weed. Never smoked........never will.

what has that got to do with sense? are you saying that anyone who has ever taken a puff of weed is automatically totally incapable of any sensible decisions?

Lizard

The other problem I see with that is that you are doing something illegal with your kid and saying it's OK. Then, when he wants to do something you don't want him/her to day (doesn't have to be illegal even), you have lost some of your authority and they could throw it in your face--"well you let me do this, or you did this with me", etc. etc.
IMO.

moondancer

my son was 17, his girl friend walked past my kitchen window opened the barn door looked back at my son smiled went in the barn and hung herself.my son ,his older brother,her brother, and my mother found her cut her down .my oldest son and mother did cpr on her. she was already gone but they were not going to be the one to tell my nic. they pronounced her dead at the hospital my son collasped they put him in the hospital with post trumatic shock syndrom .3 days later my mom died from the devastation this girl caused .the orderlies took my son up to say goodbye to my mom before they pulled the plug he kissed her and collasped .he had a relapse. they let me take him home for the funerals .because they where burried 3 days apart.after the funerals I was cooking lunch and he was laying down in his room .I went in to wake him and there was blood all over he slit his wrists not by the hand but up by the bend in his arm .I freeked .we got him to the hospital in time .the doctor gave me an rx for him .i went and filled it.{rx was some kind of stuff to keep him sedated} cost me 100$ for 15 pills he was to take them 3 times a day so in 5 days i had no meds for him and no money {being a single parent with no child support}.so I gave my oldest son 20$ and asked him to please get his brother a 20 bag .and thats how I saved my son .I couldn't get any one to help me .so does that make me a bad parent or just some one who loves her kids enough.to do the "UNTHINKABLE"

Jamal

Well, I must admit you are more courageous than me... I would've collapsed as well.
In such situations, it's better be the stronger one, so you can take care of those who need you most.

You're definitely not a bad parent, that's for sure !

I wish you strength

norm

wow

somebodyelsessky2020

i personally wouldn't in my family.

Jeanie

moondancer wrote:

my son was 17, his girl friend walked past my kitchen window opened the barn door looked back at my son smiled went in the barn and hung herself.my son ,his older brother,her brother, and my mother found her cut her down .my oldest son and mother did cpr on her. she was already gone but they were not going to be the one to tell my nic. they pronounced her dead at the hospital my son collasped they put him in the hospital with post trumatic shock syndrom .3 days later my mom died from the devastation this girl caused .the orderlies took my son up to say goodbye to my mom before they pulled the plug he kissed her and collasped .he had a relapse. they let me take him home for the funerals .because they where burried 3 days apart.after the funerals I was cooking lunch and he was laying down in his room .I went in to wake him and there was blood all over he slit his wrists not by the hand but up by the bend in his arm .I freeked .we got him to the hospital in time .the doctor gave me an rx for him .i went and filled it.{rx was some kind of stuff to keep him sedated} cost me 100$ for 15 pills he was to take them 3 times a day so in 5 days i had no meds for him and no money {being a single parent with no child support}.so I gave my oldest son 20$ and asked him to please get his brother a 20 bag .and thats how I saved my son .I couldn't get any one to help me .so does that make me a bad parent or just some one who loves her kids enough.to do the "UNTHINKABLE"

moondancer, that's a truly horrific situation that you found yourself in, and I'm really sorry that it happened to you and your family. I don't think what you did makes you a bad parent. I think it makes you a parent doing the best you can in the circumstances you find yourself in. I truly hope that things have become a little easier for you and that your family is recovering from such an awful time.

wolfbear

My first comment is that if you haven’t taught your children well by the time they are 17, nothing you do will make any difference, they are, or should be, adults and have their own opinions. Also, if you do smoke, they already know it. We did partake occasionally, but never in front of our daughter until she was in her 20’s and on her own. The first time we all kind of laughed about it. I have known lots parents who did smoke in front of their kids, mostly at parties, and they all turned out to be fine and are responsible adults. These ‘kids’ are all now in their 30’s. lol It’s a fine line with smoking and drinking. I think if you set a good example which any parent should do, the kids respect that. I know when I was a little kid I could always get a sip of my dad’s beer or drink and it was cool. It was like a little treat that somehow brought us closer together.
I believe if you don’t hide it or make it a ‘forbidden’ thing, kids tend to think of it less. I know the European cultures that let kids drink early on turn out to be much more responsible adult drinkers than US kids. Just my 2 cents.

Drowned Out

wolfbear wrote:

My first comment is that if you haven’t taught your children well by the time they are 17, nothing you do will make any difference, they are, or should be, adults and have their own opinions. Also, if you do smoke, they already know it. We did partake occasionally, but never in front of our daughter until she was in her 20’s and on her own. The first time we all kind of laughed about it. I have known lots parents who did smoke in front of their kids, mostly at parties, and they all turned out to be fine and are responsible adults. These ‘kids’ are all now in their 30’s. lol It’s a fine line with smoking and drinking. I think if you set a good example which any parent should do, the kids respect that. I know when I was a little kid I could always get a sip of my dad’s beer or drink and it was cool. It was like a little treat that somehow brought us closer together.
I believe if you don’t hide it or make it a ‘forbidden’ thing, kids tend to think of it less. I know the European cultures that let kids drink early on turn out to be much more responsible adult drinkers than US kids. Just my 2 cents.

That was worth at least a buck
Thank you.

Heineken Helen

Saturnal wrote:

If I smoked weed, then I would yeah. I'd rather do that than appear as a hypocrite to my daughter. Showing kids that you're a hypocrite does a lot more damage to them than weed will. I know that when I realized my parents were hypocritical about lots of stuff, our relationship was never the same after that.

very well put. Kids ARE going to experiment with alcohol at some stage... they more than likely will experiment with mj also. If you suspect your kid is going down that road, I see no harm in allowing them to experiment in the confines and safety of your home. Showing them that it's no big deal will also possibly serve to make them NOT use it as a rebellious thing if they so chose.

However, if you're gonna go down that road I think it's right to keep an eye on it and don't have them smoking ALL the time.

dunkman

quite a few 'non-parents' replied in this thread so how can we take their viewpoint seriously when they cant even read the fucking thread title


in answer to the thread... no, not cool

surfanddestroy

Heineken Helen wrote:

very well put. Kids ARE going to experiment with alcohol at some stage... they more than likely will experiment with mj also. If you suspect your kid is going down that road, I see no harm in allowing them to experiment in the confines and safety of your home. Showing them that it's no big deal will also possibly serve to make them NOT use it as a rebellious thing if they so chose.

However, if you're gonna go down that road I think it's right to keep an eye on it and don't have them smoking ALL the time.

It's like my mum always said to me, she knew I was gonna do it anyway so it might as well be where she can keep an eye on me.
If you knew your kid was gonna have a smoke or a drink would you prefer that they had to sneak around and go out on the streets to do it, or do it somewhere you could monitor them and make sure they are safe?