my son was 17, his girl friend walked past my kitchen window opened the barn door looked back at my son smiled went in the barn and hung herself.my son ,his older brother,her brother, and my mother found her cut her down .my oldest son and mother did cpr on her. she was already gone but they were not going to be the one to tell my nic. they pronounced her dead at the hospital my son collasped they put him in the hospital with post trumatic shock syndrom .3 days later my mom died from the devastation this girl caused .the orderlies took my son up to say goodbye to my mom before they pulled the plug he kissed her and collasped .he had a relapse. they let me take him home for the funerals .because they where burried 3 days apart.after the funerals I was cooking lunch and he was laying down in his room .I went in to wake him and there was blood all over he slit his wrists not by the hand but up by the bend in his arm .I freeked .we got him to the hospital in time .the doctor gave me an rx for him .i went and filled it.{rx was some kind of stuff to keep him sedated} cost me 100$ for 15 pills he was to take them 3 times a day so in 5 days i had no meds for him and no money {being a single parent with no child support}.so I gave my oldest son 20$ and asked him to please get his brother a 20 bag .and thats how I saved my son .I couldn't get any one to help me .so does that make me a bad parent or just some one who loves her kids enough.to do the "UNTHINKABLE"
Well, I must admit you are more courageous than me... I would've collapsed as well.
In such situations, it's better be the stronger one, so you can take care of those who need you most.
You're definitely not a bad parent, that's for sure !
my son was 17, his girl friend walked past my kitchen window opened the barn door looked back at my son smiled went in the barn and hung herself.my son ,his older brother,her brother, and my mother found her cut her down .my oldest son and mother did cpr on her. she was already gone but they were not going to be the one to tell my nic. they pronounced her dead at the hospital my son collasped they put him in the hospital with post trumatic shock syndrom .3 days later my mom died from the devastation this girl caused .the orderlies took my son up to say goodbye to my mom before they pulled the plug he kissed her and collasped .he had a relapse. they let me take him home for the funerals .because they where burried 3 days apart.after the funerals I was cooking lunch and he was laying down in his room .I went in to wake him and there was blood all over he slit his wrists not by the hand but up by the bend in his arm .I freeked .we got him to the hospital in time .the doctor gave me an rx for him .i went and filled it.{rx was some kind of stuff to keep him sedated} cost me 100$ for 15 pills he was to take them 3 times a day so in 5 days i had no meds for him and no money {being a single parent with no child support}.so I gave my oldest son 20$ and asked him to please get his brother a 20 bag .and thats how I saved my son .I couldn't get any one to help me .so does that make me a bad parent or just some one who loves her kids enough.to do the "UNTHINKABLE"
moondancer, that's a truly horrific situation that you found yourself in, and I'm really sorry that it happened to you and your family. I don't think what you did makes you a bad parent. I think it makes you a parent doing the best you can in the circumstances you find yourself in. I truly hope that things have become a little easier for you and that your family is recovering from such an awful time.
My first comment is that if you haven’t taught your children well by the time they are 17, nothing you do will make any difference, they are, or should be, adults and have their own opinions. Also, if you do smoke, they already know it. We did partake occasionally, but never in front of our daughter until she was in her 20’s and on her own. The first time we all kind of laughed about it. I have known lots parents who did smoke in front of their kids, mostly at parties, and they all turned out to be fine and are responsible adults. These ‘kids’ are all now in their 30’s. lol It’s a fine line with smoking and drinking. I think if you set a good example which any parent should do, the kids respect that. I know when I was a little kid I could always get a sip of my dad’s beer or drink and it was cool. It was like a little treat that somehow brought us closer together.
I believe if you don’t hide it or make it a ‘forbidden’ thing, kids tend to think of it less. I know the European cultures that let kids drink early on turn out to be much more responsible adult drinkers than US kids. Just my 2 cents.
"I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
My first comment is that if you haven’t taught your children well by the time they are 17, nothing you do will make any difference, they are, or should be, adults and have their own opinions. Also, if you do smoke, they already know it. We did partake occasionally, but never in front of our daughter until she was in her 20’s and on her own. The first time we all kind of laughed about it. I have known lots parents who did smoke in front of their kids, mostly at parties, and they all turned out to be fine and are responsible adults. These ‘kids’ are all now in their 30’s. lol It’s a fine line with smoking and drinking. I think if you set a good example which any parent should do, the kids respect that. I know when I was a little kid I could always get a sip of my dad’s beer or drink and it was cool. It was like a little treat that somehow brought us closer together.
I believe if you don’t hide it or make it a ‘forbidden’ thing, kids tend to think of it less. I know the European cultures that let kids drink early on turn out to be much more responsible adult drinkers than US kids. Just my 2 cents.
If I smoked weed, then I would yeah. I'd rather do that than appear as a hypocrite to my daughter. Showing kids that you're a hypocrite does a lot more damage to them than weed will. I know that when I realized my parents were hypocritical about lots of stuff, our relationship was never the same after that.
very well put. Kids ARE going to experiment with alcohol at some stage... they more than likely will experiment with mj also. If you suspect your kid is going down that road, I see no harm in allowing them to experiment in the confines and safety of your home. Showing them that it's no big deal will also possibly serve to make them NOT use it as a rebellious thing if they so chose.
However, if you're gonna go down that road I think it's right to keep an eye on it and don't have them smoking ALL the time.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
quite a few 'non-parents' replied in this thread so how can we take their viewpoint seriously when they cant even read the fucking thread title
in answer to the thread... no, not cool
oh scary... 40000 morbidly obese christians wearing fanny packs invading europe is probably the least scariest thing since I watched an edited version of The Care Bears movie in an extremely brightly lit cinema.
very well put. Kids ARE going to experiment with alcohol at some stage... they more than likely will experiment with mj also. If you suspect your kid is going down that road, I see no harm in allowing them to experiment in the confines and safety of your home. Showing them that it's no big deal will also possibly serve to make them NOT use it as a rebellious thing if they so chose.
However, if you're gonna go down that road I think it's right to keep an eye on it and don't have them smoking ALL the time.
It's like my mum always said to me, she knew I was gonna do it anyway so it might as well be where she can keep an eye on me.
If you knew your kid was gonna have a smoke or a drink would you prefer that they had to sneak around and go out on the streets to do it, or do it somewhere you could monitor them and make sure they are safe?
Astoria 20/04/06, Leeds 25/08/06, Prague 22/09/06, Wembley 18/06/07,
Dusseldorf 21/06/07, Manchester 17/08/09, London 18/08/09, LA 06/10/09, LA 07/10/09.
quite a few 'non-parents' replied in this thread so how can we take their viewpoint seriously when they cant even read the fucking thread title
in answer to the thread... no, not cool
ah ok... so we can't have a fuckin opinion on stuff like this? Kids are still living in the same world as me, so I can have an opinion on what's good parenting and what's not :rolleyes: I was a kid once, all my friends were kids once.
The Astoria??? Orgazmic!
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
while i am not a parent...i was a teacher for many years, have nephews, etc. i have to agree that no, i think it is unwise to smoke mj with your underage child in the US. if you live in the netherlands, entirely different scenario...but here in this country, while it is illegal.....i say no. a parent should be a role model of behavior. sure, perhaps discuss the whys of it, why you might think the laws are wrong, things should change...etc, etc...but i think you should set a positive/responsible model. my parents were ultra conservative and while it didn't stop me from ym own experiementation...it DID teach me to be 'responsible'....independent.....and smart with my choices. not to say i didn't do some dumb/risky things in my life....but yes, i was prepared mentally to make my own choices, and live with the consequences of my behavior, etc. i too believe a parent should teach about alcohol responsibility, and yes, not let their child drink underage either. however, i think it's a parent's choice of ultimately what they think is right for their own child..and who am i to tell them otherwise?
btw - for anyone suggesting non-parents NOT comment here....well, i don't want to see ANY male ever participate in a thread that says 'ladies please answer this'....etc, etc. hahaha. speedy himself not being a parent and posing the question...i think he left it open for all to answer/participate, even if his thread title suggested otherwise. besides, i believe this board is for ALL who want to participate. LOTs of people have opinions on topics without firsthand personal experience...like people who endlessly comment on what america and americans are like...and have never been here, eh?
because marijuana is an illegal substance. big difference.
i disagree
i think that is the easy way out of the conversation... "the government says it is illegal, so that is all we need to know"
there is a major movement towards the legalization of marijuana, so when it succeeds and is made legal what will the argument be?
not to mention personal possesion is legal in a few states already
can someone that is not brainwashed "its illegal" please tell me the difference between alcohol and weed. i personally KNOW FOR A FACT that alcohol is FAR MORE DANGEROUS AND DESTRUCTIVE than marijuana. does anyone disagree with that?
i might throw up if i read "well it is illegal" one mroe time
it used to be illegal for women to vote too, did that make the concept of equal rights wrong?
and it used to be illegal for a black person to eat in a white establishment... that obviously was wrong...
so could we please move this debate beyond "legal" and "illegal" becasue historically that is not a good barometer of "right and wrong"
that's why people need to FIGHT for what they believe in...and if you want it legal, fight to make it so. for me, it really isn't an important issue, and as i don't have kids...i am unconcerned about setting apositive example in such a way.. but go ahead and throw up...i couldn't care less. point is, it is my personally held belief that while it is illegal, i think parents should set a better example for their children. feel free to disagree, and i wouldn't care....thus why should you care what my opinion is? i clearly stated, bottomline..i believe it's a parents individual call to make. as i don't have children, don't ever plan to, it's all a moot point for me. so no, for me...i won't move the debate beyond illegal and legal...b/c, for me, that's where it lies. i don't have an issue with mj use in the least and believe it should be legal, but while it IS illegal, i think parents should set the right example and not encourage/condone illegal behaoir in their underage children. when all adults, i think it's an entirely different discussion. you want to further the discussion beyond that point..do feel free.
btw - if/when mj use is made legal...as i think it should be...i would bet it would ONLY be legal for ADULTS. so again, i still would say a parent should encourage their children to wait until they are adults before making such adult choices, etc. just as right now i think a parent should NOT encourage/condone underage cigaretter smoking, nor drinking, etc.
Comments
In such situations, it's better be the stronger one, so you can take care of those who need you most.
You're definitely not a bad parent, that's for sure !
I wish you strength
- Antwerp '06, Nijmegen '07, Werchter '07
Can you see me now
I am myself
Like you somehow
I'll ride the wave
Where it takes me
I'll hold the pain
Release me
moondancer, that's a truly horrific situation that you found yourself in, and I'm really sorry that it happened to you and your family. I don't think what you did makes you a bad parent. I think it makes you a parent doing the best you can in the circumstances you find yourself in. I truly hope that things have become a little easier for you and that your family is recovering from such an awful time.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
I believe if you don’t hide it or make it a ‘forbidden’ thing, kids tend to think of it less. I know the European cultures that let kids drink early on turn out to be much more responsible adult drinkers than US kids. Just my 2 cents.
Thank you.
However, if you're gonna go down that road I think it's right to keep an eye on it and don't have them smoking ALL the time.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
in answer to the thread... no, not cool
It's like my mum always said to me, she knew I was gonna do it anyway so it might as well be where she can keep an eye on me.
If you knew your kid was gonna have a smoke or a drink would you prefer that they had to sneak around and go out on the streets to do it, or do it somewhere you could monitor them and make sure they are safe?
Dusseldorf 21/06/07, Manchester 17/08/09, London 18/08/09, LA 06/10/09, LA 07/10/09.
Ain't gonna be any middle anymore.
Verona??? it's all surmountable
Dublin 23.08.06 "The beauty of Ireland, right there!"
Wembley? We all believe!
Copenhagen?? your light made us stars
Chicago 07? And love
What a different life
Had I not found this love with you
btw - for anyone suggesting non-parents NOT comment here....well, i don't want to see ANY male ever participate in a thread that says 'ladies please answer this'....etc, etc. hahaha. speedy himself not being a parent and posing the question...i think he left it open for all to answer/participate, even if his thread title suggested otherwise. besides, i believe this board is for ALL who want to participate. LOTs of people have opinions on topics without firsthand personal experience...like people who endlessly comment on what america and americans are like...and have never been here, eh?
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
i disagree
i think that is the easy way out of the conversation... "the government says it is illegal, so that is all we need to know"
there is a major movement towards the legalization of marijuana, so when it succeeds and is made legal what will the argument be?
not to mention personal possesion is legal in a few states already
can someone that is not brainwashed "its illegal" please tell me the difference between alcohol and weed. i personally KNOW FOR A FACT that alcohol is FAR MORE DANGEROUS AND DESTRUCTIVE than marijuana. does anyone disagree with that?
i might throw up if i read "well it is illegal" one mroe time
it used to be illegal for women to vote too, did that make the concept of equal rights wrong?
and it used to be illegal for a black person to eat in a white establishment... that obviously was wrong...
so could we please move this debate beyond "legal" and "illegal" becasue historically that is not a good barometer of "right and wrong"
that's why people need to FIGHT for what they believe in...and if you want it legal, fight to make it so. for me, it really isn't an important issue, and as i don't have kids...i am unconcerned about setting apositive example in such a way.. but go ahead and throw up...i couldn't care less.
btw - if/when mj use is made legal...as i think it should be...i would bet it would ONLY be legal for ADULTS. so again, i still would say a parent should encourage their children to wait until they are adults before making such adult choices, etc. just as right now i think a parent should NOT encourage/condone underage cigaretter smoking, nor drinking, etc.
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow