Instant thoughts. (add yours if you like)

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  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Tonight I sleep alone....
    tomorrow I'll sleep on my own.

    Goodbye house....
    Goodnight moon.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • prism
    prism Posts: 2,440
    do you feel it deserving of any lingering thoughts?
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    prism wrote:
    do you feel it deserving of any lingering thoughts?

    no. i do not.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • prism
    prism Posts: 2,440
    catefrances wrote:
    no. i do not.

    i get the idea that you're not alone on that :(
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    prism wrote:
    i get the idea that you're not alone on that :(

    i am always alone.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • prism
    prism Posts: 2,440
    catefrances wrote:
    i am always alone.

    me too....so in at least in one fucked-up way you're not alone
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    prism wrote:
    me too....so in at least in one fucked-up way you're not alone

    no. we are alone separately. that is still alone. it sux but it is the truth.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • prism
    prism Posts: 2,440
    catefrances wrote:
    no. we are alone separately. that is still alone. it sux but it is the truth.

    you're right
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    prism wrote:
    you're right


    id rather be dead than be right.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • prism
    prism Posts: 2,440
    catefrances wrote:
    id rather be dead than be right.

    good thing that you got your kids to remind you that you're always wrong ;)
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    prism wrote:
    good thing that you got your kids to remind you that you're always wrong ;)

    no. its good thing im too weak to kill myself. despite some peoples opinion that i should just do it if i want to do it.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • prism
    prism Posts: 2,440
    catefrances wrote:
    no. its good thing im too weak to kill myself. despite some peoples opinion that i should just do it if i want to do it.

    but when it comes down to your life or death other people's opinion's don't matter. except for your kids...and remember that if you kill yourself they will never, ever get over it
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    prism wrote:
    but when it comes down to your life or death other people's opinion's don't matter. except for your kids...and remember that if you kill yourself they will never, ever get over it

    and i will never ever get over living.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    prism wrote:
    but when it comes down to your life or death other people's opinion's don't matter. except for your kids...and remember that if you kill yourself they will never, ever get over it

    I also think consideration for your children should be the real brake on such thoughts cate.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    oh and btw when someone you love says to you that if you want to do it, you should just do it, it does matter. it matters whole fucking lot.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    justam wrote:
    I also think consideration for your children should be the real brake on such thoughts cate.

    and that is why im still here. the thought that one of my children would be the one to find my body breaks me more than you will ever know. i hate what i am. i hate what i feel. i hate that i am alive. but i love my children more. and i hate that.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    catefrances wrote:
    and that is why im still here. the thought that one of my children would be the one to find my body breaks me more than you will ever know. i hate what i am. i hate what i feel. i hate that i am alive. but i love my children more. and i hate that.

    Sweet cate, I have the feeling that loving your children more than yourself will actually save YOU in the long run.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    justam wrote:
    Sweet cate, I have the feeling that loving your children more than yourself will actually save YOU in the long run.

    it has so far.
    but even more than them, my grand daughter breathes life into my lungs. if i were a christian i would fall to my knees and thank God for her very being. but as i am not, i hold tight to the fact that i have a shred of strength left as being enough for now to outweigh my want to cease to exist. and that want is so very strong.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    catefrances wrote:
    it has so far.
    but even more than them, my grand daughter breathes life into my lungs. if i were a christian i would fall to my knees and thank God for her very being. but as i am not, i hold tight to the fact that i have a shred of strength left as being enough for now to outweigh my want to cease to exist. and that want is so very strong.

    That's how I felt when my second son was born. I was at such a low point with the other son's autism and he was little an angel to me. I felt like someone, somewhere loved me for giving him to me.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    edit!!-->

    "he was like an angel to me"
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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