collection of spontanious prose

matt776

we are alone
shelled in flesh and bone
some look through their eyes
some look from outside thier crust
some don't even know how to look

generations ours was called X
generations perpetuated by sex
generations....endless

so, why do we seek to destroy?
so, why do we seek to live?
Is there life after the one we know now?

If you're lucky you will see 70
If you're lucky you will see 100
If your lucky you may live with out regret
If you're lucky...

Then there is that old man
"Pardon me while I pass you by sir"
I am afraid we all will become obsolete someday

matt776

Why didn't you cry for help?
I heard the window shatter
I saw the aftermath of glass shards,
but I didn't see the trickle of blood that ran down them.

We are strangers tied together for eternity
by some drunken rage
by some drunken mistake
by your extinguished life

I wanted to say "Hi!"
but as a recluse I dare not speak louder than my own breathe in passing
besides you might interfer with my own madness

when they opened the door were those bloody imprints on your cubboards
your last weak resort to hold onto this world?
Or were you trying to finalize your exsistance with a masterpiece?

Grotesque to some
Sorrowful to all
The blood stains on your bare walls

matt776

Time froze for a few minutes that day as the buildings crumbled to the earth after the chasmatic fire weakened the structure giving way to the protection that the panic could not endure. It was then the that time shifted across the world like a smoldering meteor entering the earths atmosphere; the city become engulf in a dust cloud of ancient molecules that had settled in the precipice of culture and universal economics. We then looked for excuses, people to blame, lives to be taken in return for something that resembled an accident initially until the other bold and intentional achievement of man evaporated into a pillar of glass, steel and flesh. Our leaders declared war on apparitions and claimed innocent lives in return for the loss of the impenetrable walls of freedom in hopes to divert further incidents from occurring. Unfortunately, in the pace of these days the obvious is over looked as we declare ourselves independent of the course of history creating our own terror as our sophisticated weapons of destruction rip apart lives that were otherwise uninvolved in the tragedy. Our heroes die and continue to die in the remolding of the Earth’s social structure as one body of minds see fit. While our nation destroys and rebuilds other nations, we slowly fall apart. Babylon destruction symbolized by terror as apathetic youth continues their non-existence in a rebellion for the sake of it. The Kings of commerce continue to rewrite their gains and prey on unsuspecting peons for their own fatting of the feast. All the while ignored by the King of Kings of pigs flesh and human flesh all constricted to the amount of excrement that is excreted by the domination of capitalism over democracy. In the end we live in world that lives by shiny and new materialistic desire and numbness far from the origin of a species thought to be the best at surviving the thousands of years of evolution of the natural chaos of life.

Less than a poetic rhetoric, people became opportunists in the aftermath of a symbol of the fall of a country’s peace. Capitalism is freedom and freedom is lawless even though there are statutes on paper many are ignored and the basic integrity of selflessness rots in the human soul of those that turn over dollars at the expense of those that helped them earn it. There are exceptions and those souls rest in that peace, but the evil nature of capitalism has overcome the kings while their subjects are executed systematically as nothing more than a simple difference problem. Why do we stand for this? Why has complacency become status quo in the obvious destruction of the bare principles of a nation that declares itself as the model of freedom? Why have we become Blue Collar Whores? We sell ourselves for our basic needs in order to maintain and maintaining has been redefined as social status plays an ever so more important role in self acculasation. We are the 21st century slaves whipped with terms and conditions, taxes to a government “for the people, by the people”, but ruled by a dollar amount. It breeds self-loathing and hatred between the haves and have-nots. That will eventually peak as unions of workers refuse to labor, but resell themselves under terms and conditions in their own sense of victory over misers that have done nothing more than shift numbers. In fact we all lose when this happens, because we pay more for our 21st century needs and are paid less to do the work for the capitol to obtain these needs. In the end, only the privileged succeed in maintaining their status above the gray masses of slaves clocking in and out everyday. For some that’s how they like it and will never look for change because after being industrialized it’s hard to turn your back on it. It is a matter of resource and perpetuating your kin. For others they fight uselessly in some sort of rebellion as if standing in front of a train will make it stop. In turn, they are run over and become nothing more than a pest to everyone in their community. Rebellion is only good when there is a clear answer to the end of the cause. Changing the entire structure of civilization as we know it is impossible and will only happen in the wake of total anilation of man kind. I only wish that to occur naturally, but I am sure that the building of hatred, fear and selfishness through out generations will manufacture this destruction. People will try to stop it, but in reality, our laws our governed by those with the largest bank account and the selfish men will seek to end a great rebellion by not only ending their life but life all together. Our tiny planet orbiting the constant nuclear explosion will be no more than the likes of our sisters revolving around the matter.

Perhaps I am being too grim and uncompassionate, but there is a sense of accuracy in those words and humanity loves the affair with creation and destruction. Every society has its thoughts on where we came from. Some say it was a deity, some say it can be calculated and reduced to scientific laws of nature and some say we are nothing. We all know that we were created somehow and we will eventually see our personal destruction. Whether we perpetuate it or not, creation and destruction are simple and pure, unexplainable and inescapable. In Jack Kerouac’s word’s “Were all going to die.” How simple and true that statement is and in death we will know the truth if it is some great eternity or non-existence. There is clearly a black and white nature to life; the good and the bad, ying and yang, god and the devil whatever you want to call it there is a boundary that is divided by selflessness and selfishness, love and hate, war and peace. In the end we will know who defined those lines whether it was our free will or that just a mere whisper in our ear when we ate a cookie before dinner even though we knew better. It is in creation and destruction that mankind is truly equal and undetermined; purposeless to some extent of thought and theory.

matt776

Sometimes I just want to weep
to make up for all the times I should have
Sometimes I want to call my mother just to have her put me to sleep with one of her songs
Sometimes I just want to stay a child, especially when I see my son
Sometimes....I just go to bed hungry with a full belly

matt776

Angry
terror fills my enemies soul
a stare into thier fright
a laugh to disturb thier thought
watch out people, out for blood
excuse me! who just said love?
maybe thats right
so I am wrong
give it to me
forgive my angry...love

matt776

step off with the left
and shift to your right
there's always a way
to do something today
there's always been not just today
it's strange how everyone follows
some kind of order
even if there is disorder
I'm going to go to my place
where no one has a face
and there are no names
I am the only one
in that kingdom
I get my standard
to follow it in that land
and alone I'll be able to stand
strange's how's there's order
when there's disorder

matt776

How did you finish that first great feat?
Bennies?...sure they keep you awake and talkitive...but How?

How? How did you keep going? was it the 7 years?
7 a godly number according to our faith, but on the road for so long...why did I stop at 5...was that my time?

Is that why I can't finish my great amrican novel?

Jack! Jack! Are you fucking listening or sipping on cheap wine recitng nothing in your mind?

How do I finish? Do I just keep writing and turn it into the editor? You were scorned for such an act, but I live in the Digital Age. Crap is masterfull and masterpieces are made of crap.

matt776

Bring on those hateful men
the shame I hold myself
an army tormenting the world
and I thrash the earth
making it flat
scortched by my flamnes
scared by my anger
and destruction feeds my mental anguish
I live by nothing
I die the same
BRING ON THOSE HATEFUL MEN!
The shame I hold myself
pumpkin heads in tatered skirts
machete to masacre
each hack seperates flesh from living soul
cleanly it's done
and i'm covered in blood
from my hatred of my life...
but I love

Amaterasu

Hold up Matty, whoever you are+ you are totally right...
I agree with you and although I could not finish I had
to jump in here and get it out also That I too wrote
nearly everything you mentioned in this post in so many
other words. But total change is what is needed. WE
haven't changed since the early beginnings of our country
nearly 200 years ago, we need to change yes strictly
for evolutionary purposes. And it is not impossible. Lets
say for instance that the people shall govern, give our
forefathers a rest. They are tired, they have done all they
could to help raise us in this country it is time we grow
up and take responsibility by being a link in the evolutionary
process. By that I mean joining together as a united
people to care for our fathers from the lessons they taught
to us. Who says we can't rewrite our history? Who says
there HAVE to be leaders? We the people are responsible
for ourselves. We have been the caretakers with such
love for our land for so long. We have been sowing the seeds of love for as long as we've been on this good earth. Really,
one must be responsible for themselves first. Rendering a
president to go out of their way to be responsible for
another is just asking the impossible and should not be
an expected requirement. Yes, go with evolution. Go with
god as our guide, trust the path of righteousness. And
our hearts will decide the proper course we choose.
It's really quite fanstastic if you believe heart and soul
in yourself and what it is you expsect and see for your future
and country. Love. Trust. Freedom.
Go back to the start, 200 years ago, what was the dream
envisioned then meant for our future today? For example
they had a vison for future generations, WE ARE that
very future, we are generation X it does not get any
clearer than that. Ying Yang, two ends meeting in the
middle. Yes, what were some of the greatest minds
producing as a whole during that era? For example, genius's
inventors, philosophers, healers, poets, lovers...
What was their greatest success? What moved them?
Now, forward to progress- todays world, what was it
they wanted for us to learn from them then for ourselves
today? Hence declaration of independance. How can we relate in retrospect? Computers, stunning new technology at the touch, of a button. The internet is just phenomenal. Most important we have a love of country, of tribe like no other in the world. We can get along with anyone, as we are the world. That is something to be proud of.
People don't just visit the united states, they want to be
united, to be apart of something that is still such a nurturing
dream in us all. Do you see? USALL U.S.A. They relocate their entire lives, and family to BECOME us citizens. A miracle in and
of itself. When they are here they are home.
We need to grow up off our fat lazy land our spoilt and very
affulent land and put childish toys away. We need to make that essential change inevitibly for the better natural process
towards renewal. When I say leaders, I refer the occurance
of we don't HAVE TO HAVE a leader to guide us, god is our guide
the pilot as he has always been the pilot. I'm saying there is
room for independant growth to be a people to
to unite for what is it is we see for ourselves.
To stop harnessing a repeated pattern of the past.
How would we run our country as our fathers have been
obliging the same routine for nearly 200 years the same way and it has not been working very well. Its natural process that we change and grow as humans, so must our evolution be a creative force responsible as a whole. Presidents are tired, they
need to heal.
Let us children bring some sunshine into their hearts,
some fun again let us heal them by healing ourselves at
the same time. Let us be strong, we are older now we
can do it and be not afraid. Heal with love as we have the capacity to do so. Patience goes along way. And only we
as no other can return what has been our very flag of honor to the shielded banner for which it waves.
The people shall govern, on the ground that supports
them in balance and god as the alpha
and omega. We know we do not want terrorism, so its a mute point, end of discussion.
We know what we do want and that is Love, Trust
and Freedom. BELIEVING and not straying from
the path at all will achieve the very postivive choices we choose
as who we are. Faith. Believe in yourself.

You know, I had this perfect lastnight and just as I
was about to (smile), save the document when
my machine shut down and I lost alot of what
would really make sense oppossed to what my
memory is supplying rather hastily.
Please excuse grammer spelling, I will make amends.
Come talk to me.
K.

matt776

I read the first 3 sentences and I was ready to reply, I am glad I took the time to read the rest. Yes, for the love of ourselves, not just God, we need change and Yes 200 years ago our patriots had a dream. The same reason I call myself and stand by the name Patriot. The true American Patriots saw something disturbing in the kings absolute power and TODAY many of us see our leadership as absolute power. Our democracy was made a mockery in the last election and I do not wish to have that happen again. I saw a great bumbper sticker of wisdom the other day. (paraphrased)Lets not elect W. just like we didn't 4 years ago.

I don't beleive our leaders are as tired as they are opportunists. The unfortunante thing is we are apathetic and materialistic. Tonight we fight, but tommorow we will sleep in and tune into MTV when we wake up.(which I haven't watched since "96) Jesus H. Christ! L.A. riots over Rodney King, but when an election is fishy we just concede!

This year let your voice be heard and if we don't win lets start burning shit! BYOSTB (bring your own shit to burn)

I am very close to many immigrants most of them from the very area we wage war. You know whats important to them? The American Dream. One of my close friends lived his life with out his father in Lebenon due to a christian sniper across the city in a tall building that spent his days picking off Muslims, because they were. I ask him what he wants out of life and he doesn't know what to say, because he has already gotten more than he ever would have in the Mid-East. My family wasn't born in the U.S.A. we immigratted and spent many generations to the point my family lineage is lost. The one thing that wasn't lost was the Dream. The same Dream our tired forefathers lost their lives for.

When we break down life to the bare esentials it's all about perpetuating your kin. Polotics, economics, and religion have nothing to do with the very essence of our exsistence. Pro-creation( albeit I am pro-choice, I beleive strongly in free will ) is all we are here to do we just hold ourselves as a smarter animal; than say a cow.

If this comes off as a flame I completely apologize, but as you can see I am full of fury and ready to start the next revolution. I swear I would fire the first shot.(metaphorically FBI) If you read my prelude carefully you would understand that revolution without a clear solution is null. Kinda like the 60's. If you make everyone happy no one will be happy. That's just our nature.

of_the_girl

this thread made me say "wow" for more than one reason.
always a good thing.

very interesting views... and very interesting poetry/prose.

i enjoy reading your works.

....wo....w....

matt776

well then I shall have another drink to that

matt776

don't sleep when you feel uneasy there is a reason for it
the day you feel tired is when it is most important for you to be alert
It isn't your life that you fight to change it's for the lives of our children
Every decision should be based on how it will affect the next to come
not just how it will make you feel the next hour
the virtue and integrity of our genration only lasts for 3 mins(about the duration of a good song) do what you can to make that last 3 years

matt776

Amaterasu,

Oh I forgot the most important part of your reply! RESPONSIBILITY

Only an adult can say that word and act apon it. Any age consider yourself an adult if you can be responsible for your decisions.

For some damn reason I feel a responsibility to change this world. Dedicate it to PJ...or whomever...I feel the responsibility, because it's is in Generation X's hands now. How did I end up in generation X? I was born to be a poet and an artist, but there is no more room for the likes of me. Originality is nill and thoughts are just paraphrased from our history lessons. I hope someone paid attention before it's all over.

There's something wonderful about a Sonoran Thunderstorm...excuse me while I smoke a pack to it.

Amaterasu

Hear hear, great points but listen to yourself.. If you want
clear answers you must present yourself in an upmost
clear manner. You ascribe to a standard used from the FROM
THE PAST it can't be answered in the postive because it
is a non-'progressive' historical statement. If you want a
postive answer it must be an answer from the future for it
to be a stepping stone and support your very cause with
a postive result.

But mind you for all the pain, Marvin extends, Linda screams
Whats Going ON? WE are going on. WE the people
have to forge onward as simple as a childrens story.
No drama, no fears, just put it aside, give up the pain
entirely. Heed where your energy goes.
Where is the energy for improvement?
Do not be concerned with what you already know
to be wrong. Concentrate on ways, solutions and
bettering oneself first. When you have mastered
yourself only then can you benefit the good of
mankind.
There are ways in the order of natural selection
that is clock work when we listen to our
own bodies. The immune system protects us
as does that same inner brush with destiny.

Opportunist- what is an opportunist?

matt776

the ionized air replentishes my energy
the thunder of the lighting that struck the house next to me rumble my inerds
the thunder is God bowling and the light is his finger touching the earth
as we are from the earth the devil must bow
at least thats what he told me

Amaterasu

I know.
At least you've got whom I miss as
he left me rain
he carries you a tune listen to him
he is relaying his message through
rock and roll baby.

matt776

The message is who I am.
I am the mercury man.
Only those predestined will hear it.
To the rest will be a wasted message of apocolypse.

matt776

To clarify that last post....
I live in Tempe, AZ Partytown, USA. I deliver pizza's(yes a humbling confession) to these kids till 6 am sometimes and you know what they are concerned about....nothingness. Some do care, but they haven't lived in this bitter world long enough to say we need change, becuase they are comfortable with the lives they live. I garuntee they start losing friends to an anymous war that they will start paying attention....ok no more polotics it just makes me feel ill.

Amaterasu

I didn't answer right away because I just stared at
your post for the longest time thinking it over.
This is gonna sound ellusive yet mercury
is having some effect or it did in the last 24 hours
on the planet Taurus. Something about more
one step up from say a cow?

So interest in nothing is that the gig in the sky?
Or overall stretch of the imagination as I feel
right now I don't know what time it is over in Tempe
but it's kinda late (early) here. Boston, MA. At least you
can be a pizza man! You're onto something... Yeah, the politics swinging a bit too much past me today too. It's having
it's effect.
It's so late I never do this so I'm making an ecception
if you are up, allow me to weather the storm with you. Sadly
god didn't stop over but the drops are hopeful.
"What is the one thing you like about the army?"
"Mail, I love getting my mail-sir." Did you ever see the- yeah!!!:)
Biloxie Blues with Matthew Broderick? Anyway, that is
my favorite line throughout the entire film. Mail. I love getting
mail. Really when you think about it, mail is the most exciting
thing a person can look forward to during their day. That and
a grand hurl from Zeus is good.

matt776

LOL as a veteran yes "mail call" can be the most exciting part of the day.

As far as moving to AZ...it's cheap...cheaper than just about anywhere USA, but it's 110 and doesn't drop below 90 during the summer even at night.

We have something called the monsoon season during the summer...basically build up of moisture that releases itself on the valley just before the sun goes down. Unfortunantly urban sprawling has effected the monsoons and a great deal of moisture has to build up before it rains here. It rained tonjight and probably will the rest of the week, but the rest of the summer is gonna very very very hot. My suggestion move to Seattle...that's what every person in AZ wants to do.You will just be skipping a step.

matt776

Oh am I suppose to say something?
Why did I win some great award?
I am dead.
Oh am I suppose to say something?
Why is there a prize in the sky?
I am dead I should know by now.

I am alive, but my spirit lies dormant.
I am dead.

matt776

My teacher describes me as a Master, but I am not sure what it is that I have mastered.
My teacher describes as a creative genius, but I am not sure what was genius about a sour pickle.
My teachers should know I guess...why are they the only ones?
Where is my nobel prize?
Where does a a master make a living?
Public High School?

The gypsy says I wil be a world famous artist and travel the world, but I haven't left the 48 states, except for Mexico and Titty bars in Canada.

So, lets talk about the gypsy.
She said by the time I was of mature age I would have everything I want(which isn't much) and I woulld be a famous creator around the world.

I went back 2 years later and the sister of the gypsy wanted to remove a dark aura from my soul. She said for $90 I could dispose of this evil presence.

I didn't know evil had a price, seems fitting.

matt776

Ah shit man!
I am one step ahead of you.
You're the one following me.

matt776

Really I could have sworn the desert is barren of life.

Take a closer look.

Are you sure I am following you?

No, but no one is in front of me.

matt776

this place is so barren!
Is that a vulture circling?
No it's an eagle.
Rather a condor, they live here you know.
Really why?
Cause the old westerns shot em up till they were almost extinct
now the land is theirs to live peacefully again

matt776

sleep is overrated, but I do miss
dreaming...

Goodnight

matt776

Thats it!
Thats the last of it.
Thought we had more,
but we couldn't stop.

Got some money?

Too dazed to find a job
two weeks late at the pawn
Lets go to the Mill Ave.
and sing our sad song?

My daddy was crushed by a tree.
My mommy has been whoring since '83.
Grandma has a coke habit
and Uncle Jim played "Hide the Rabbit".
(don't ask)

Got some money?

My car broke down,
Just got fired
(like 2 hours is late in Berma they have to ride a goat and sometimes it takes days to get to work),
Spent my last dollar on a scratcher.
I am starving.
Got a dollar or just some change?
Not even a quarter?

Man fuck you!
Got some money?

matt776

For some reason I had a dream of being an Astronaut, but I could only get high.

Then one day I came back down to find out my friends had all dissappeared, my family had died, and my dog lost a hind leg in the lawn mower.

I started to play guitar and played the blues some place in KC, where the booze is cheap the women are easy and no one leaves sober. To my amaze there was a sign for 12th St. and Vine, so I stole it.

My guitar had an unfortunant accident when I accidently smashed it on some hillbilly's head. The guitar understood and that hillbillie never heckeled my rendition of "love me tender" again.

Then I got old. My hair turned gray and my genitals shriveled to no use. My CampMaster smells like someone pissed on it. The garabag piles up with my pride of cats inbreeding. I think I might have a new species on my hands.

I never understood why I was called "Trailer Trash" looking down from heaven I don't really care anymore. You can have my dog, my pride of felines, and my smashed guitar.

matt776

What ever happened to the great Jim Morrison?
A drunkard above all things else,
but a beautiful poet with nothing to say.

What ever happened to the great Jim Morrison?
From the roofs of Venice Beach to the streets of Paris.

What ever happened to the great Jim Morrison?
A Hell's Angel throws in a $5 to hear the entire 2 disc set of "Best of the Doors". Rack em up...for a beer.

What ever happened to the great Jim Morrison?
Jim is still alive!
In some dusty bar in Arizona clad in black leather chaps and the lingering smell of gasoline and booze.

What ever happened to the great Jim Morrison?
Who do you love? I'm not sure what made him so great, but man that's some fucking great shit. Pass it my way.

What ever happened to the great Jim Morrison?
I want to know what happened to my copy of "wilderness".

What ever happened to the great Jim Morrison?
He drank himself into history.

Amaterasu

one night in a heated fight...
with all the passion of the night
I gave it my full gusto and all my might
'You only have one chance
make it good' the child coached...
Wrathful rage without to within
a moments confession the night did seem
honest and true sad and blue
LA Woman Sunday afternoon...
I yelled it loud so it was
understood...
"I hope the stars fall on you!!!"
Touch down.
Balanced earth between us ground
skeletal lap of luxury
fairy tale nightmare
locked in a moment
sea to sea
lost found
hounds pound
when I saw him
I let the cat out.
I am she who loved him
Jim until he let me in.
Break on through
was the message
not just
the end.