Poetry exercise: writing a sestina

ISN

I'm going to attempt a Sestina today if work is quiet.....I think it can produce some beautiful poems.....

pearlmutt

"ugh, I've got a busy week. Gotta read 'Walden' by Thoreau and "The Waste Land" by Eliot by tommorow"

the very best part of the wasteland is the end.

I promise you will retain it:

Shantih shantih shantih

well worth checking the footnote on that one!

Good luck!!

Kwyjibo

I wasn't retaining Thoreau. I did fine with Eliot

ISN: I reworked an old poem for this sestina

you can find the original here:

http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=108235

ISN

I remember it.....although I'll have another look......

here's my effort

faggots are drawn on a cart by horses
and I reach to the left to kiss my child
after feeding on spuds for Winter
we are home once more in Spring's new joy
the sticks will be fed into hungry fire
we are home, we are home once again


we made our abode in the cup of Winter
and we drank from his frosty fire
there was sorrow and weeping, and joy
disappeared for a season, but again
it grows in the face of my child,
in her ruddy cheeks as she rides the horses


all around me the fields are crackling with fire
as the mice and the insects scurry in joy
I gather the reins which are holding the horses
awaiting the moment I kiss bye to Winter
and chivvy them on with ayes once again
as I lovingly look at the face of my child

forsake not your husbands, in joy
or in sorrow, and though you'd not wed them again
the heart has its temper, my child
it will pull you hither and tither on horses
but your father went hunting in dark light of Winter
and left me to you and cold's dampened fire

so grasp life (and love), for you won't live again
and the seasons roll on from Fall to Winter
leaving the meek in their wake, like a fire
is your heart, you are young yet, my child
and like the curious foal of two horses
you'll stamp and you'll rear for joy

come to me, my darling, my baby, my child
and take yourself down from those horses
we've reached home, and miles, and miles again
have been travelled by us in uncertain joy
we'll just get some charcoal to light up the fire
and burn from the house that harshest foe Winter

I worried my child not warmed by the fire
might shrivel again from no joy
but the horses, they've pulled her from Winter

pearlmutt

"I did fine with Eliot"

How do I express elation?

iiiiii!!!!!!

(it'll have to do)

FinsburyParkCarrots

ISN wrote:

I remember it.....although I'll have another look......

here's my effort

faggots are drawn on a cart by horses
and I reach to the left to kiss my child
after feeding on spuds for Winter
we are home once more in Spring's new joy
the sticks will be fed into hungry fire
we are home, we are home once again


we made our abode in the cup of Winter
and we drank from his frosty fire
there was sorrow and weeping, and joy
disappeared for a season, but again
it grows in the face of my child,
in her ruddy cheeks as she rides the horses


all around me the fields are crackling with fire
as the mice and the insects scurry in joy
I gather the reins which are holding the horses
awaiting the moment I kiss bye to Winter
and chivvy them on with ayes once again
as I lovingly look at the face of my child

forsake not your husbands, in joy
or in sorrow, and though you'd not wed them again
the heart has its temper, my child
it will pull you hither and tither on horses
but your father went hunting in dark light of Winter
and left me to you and cold's dampened fire

so grasp life (and love), for you won't live again
and the seasons roll on from Fall to Winter
leaving the meek in their wake, like a fire
is your heart, you are young yet, my child
and like the curious foal of two horses
you'll stamp and you'll rear for joy

come to me, my darling, my baby, my child
and take yourself down from those horses
we've reached home, and miles, and miles again
have been travelled by us in uncertain joy
we'll just get some charcoal to light up the fire
and burn from the house that harshest foe Winter

I worried my child not warmed by the fire
might shrivel again from no joy
but the horses, they've pulled her from Winter

ISN, that's beautiful.

ISN

thanks Fins....:D

DopeBeastie

i agree, ISN

it is lovely

ISN

thanks PastorNazi....hehehehe