The Young People With Their Instant Children

2

Comments

  • When I read it I took it from the perspective of an older person who has been trying for years to have a child, looking at young people...teenage or otherwise...who get pregnant so easily...and not caring or even thinking about the young people's possible uphill battle...to the narrator they *must* be content...but the narrator is clouded with his/her own frustration.

    Just another perspective.

    Probably wrong. ;)

    wow.......that is such an interesting slant to it. grooove - i appreciated the *anger* in it - if that makes any sense.....even if i myself don't identify/agree with it. well done.
    i'll ride the wave where it takes me
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Rising from my bench, pretending to stretch,
    Glancing around, this thinly veiled caveman excercise
    I practice with pastiche, cunning,
    Undoing a button as though only to let my fat breathe,
    Instead bringing fully to light the tip of my plumbing,
    Smartly quieting nature's alarm clock.
    It trickles slowly, among leaves and needles,
    Rivulets finding a new path once expelled.
    One always wonders just where it goes:
    Into the air with the heat, or the cool ground with the roots?
    How much of me is in this thunderstorm,
    Or that Dogwood's branches?
    Will they come to chop me down, long after I die?
    .........................................................................
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    for R.G.


    It's his old house--
    He lived in it
    For a few years,
    Just him and his mother--
    That I drive past every day
    On my way to work
    That crawls into my flesh
    And won't leave go.
    I knew him while he lived there,
    Although not as well
    As I know him now,
    But I drove him home
    A handful of times,
    Drove around that circular driveway
    And left him by the enclosed front porch
    Searching for keys
    In the dark.
    It seemed a nice enough place--
    Perhaps a bit run-down,
    In need of a few repairs,
    But never destitute--
    With a liberal sprinkling
    Of shade-bearing trees
    And inevitable critter-housing shrubs
    That, as a boy,
    I'm sure he loved to play around,
    Imagining all kinds
    Of bizarre world-changing events
    Taking place to and because of him,
    Right there in that shady lawn.
    And inside
    On windblown evenings,
    Hot mother-cooked meals,
    The smells of which one can never forget,
    The textures and spices
    Or maternal food and the kitchen
    Where love made it
    Shining through to his adult world
    Always, especially when he couldn't
    Fully remember it.
    And then,
    A short time after I came to know him
    They simply moved,
    Although I'm certain it was quite involved
    For his mother and him,
    To us--his friends--
    It seemed they had just
    Transplanted,
    Picked all worldly things up
    And trotted off to another home
    In a nearby trailer park.
    It wasn't so bad:
    We still saw him just as much,
    And it wasn't any further away.
    Strangely, though,
    The next people to take residence
    In his old home
    Were acquaintances of ours:
    Party friends who approved of us
    And liked to do
    The kind of things
    That we liked to do.
    And so it was
    A short time indeed
    For my friend
    Until he returned to the home of his childhood,
    A very short time until he stood again in his old bedroom
    (now belonging to a rancid acquaintance
    with a poor moustache and stained skin
    who had his bed in the exact wrong place).
    The bathroom that had been
    Ruthlessly spotless before
    Now a colony for any live,
    Microscopic entity that felt like moving in,
    The sink now a brown problem
    Instead of a pearly white altar,
    The toilet barely flushing,
    And the light bulb refusing to be changed
    So one was forced to pee in the dark.
    The kitchen now not that of the mother
    But of unkempt communal
    Post-adolescent living,
    Issuing not aromas
    Of hearty, oft-prepared
    Casseroles and soups
    But the microwaved plastic
    And congealing trash
    That comes with being awake all night
    Or not knowing where your money is.
    And no one eating their vegetables
    Or drinking their juice,
    But ingesting all varieties of terrible things,
    From three-day-old chicken
    To high grade opium
    Which any mother
    In her right frame of mind
    Would surely disapprove of.
    This is not to suggest
    That we had anything other
    Than a marvelous time there--
    my friend included--
    And after a few hesitant moments
    Everyone seemed to forget
    That he had ever lived there at all,
    That it had ever been anything other
    Than what it was now,
    Or that it could ever be anything else.
    Soon enough,
    The acquaintance with the questionable moustache
    And stained skin was arrested,
    Followed quickly by all the others moving out,
    And the house was out of our hands,
    Forever to be becoming something new
    For someone new.
    But it still crawls into my flesh
    And won't leave go
    When I drive past it
    On my way to work;
    The way it stubbornly denies
    That any time has passed for anyone,
    The way it cages past
    Like a commodity.
    I imagine what my friend must have felt like,
    Doing what we were doing
    In that place;
    Perhaps he was searching
    For some sign that what he had once known to be true
    Could always remain true,
    That what had happened in his childhood
    Somehow remained in that house,
    Only to find that the more you examine
    Things you have already done,
    The less those things tend to acknowledge you,
    And if you allow yourself to
    You can end up in the center
    Of a room that doesn't care about you,
    Wishing for portals to your former self,
    The loosing of clocks.
    The less those
    .........................................................................
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    ok, so there's an extraneous line at the end of the version I just posted. here's the real end of the poem:

    And the house was out of our hands,
    Forever to be becoming something new
    For someone new.
    But it still crawls into my flesh
    And won't leave go
    When I drive past it
    On my way to work;
    The way it stubbornly denies
    That any time has passed for anyone,
    The way it cages past
    Like a commodity.
    I imagine what my friend must have felt like,
    Doing what we were doing
    In that place;
    Perhaps he was searching
    For some sign that what he had once known to be true
    Could always remain true,
    That what had happened in his childhood
    Somehow remained in that house,
    Only to find that the more you examine
    Things you have already done,
    The less those things tend to acknowledge you,
    And if you allow yourself to
    You can end up in the center
    Of a room that doesn't care about you,
    Wishing for portals to your former self,
    The loosing of clocks.
    .........................................................................
  • You could divide this into sections and explore it still deeper and you'd have the makings of a significant longer poem. Try it. ;)
  • Rising from my bench, pretending to stretch,
    Glancing around, this thinly veiled caveman excercise
    I practice with pastiche, cunning,
    Undoing a button as though only to let my fat breathe,
    Instead bringing fully to light the tip of my plumbing,
    Smartly quieting nature's alarm clock.
    It trickles slowly, among leaves and needles,
    Rivulets finding a new path once expelled.
    One always wonders just where it goes:
    Into the air with the heat, or the cool ground with the roots?
    How much of me is in this thunderstorm,
    Or that Dogwood's branches?
    Will they come to chop me down, long after I die?

    Again, I hear Larkin but this is great. I like the repetitive use of present participles and the strange significance of the description of rivulets of piss finding a new path once expelled.

    Mighty work.
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    You could divide this into sections and explore it still deeper and you'd have the makings of a significant longer poem. Try it. ;)

    I like the idea quite bit. I'll give it a whirl and re-post it at a later time.

    Thanks for the idea. :)
    .........................................................................
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    With fond wishes and intentions well
    We parted on that sidewalk,
    In front of the white house
    With the L-shaped porch.
    You essenced a smile, bless your heart.
    I turned the ignition,
    And wept until I forgot why.
    .........................................................................
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    I LIKE THAT alot....
    thats the story of my life.
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Ali wrote:
    I LIKE THAT alot....
    thats the story of my life.

    and as unpleasant as it can be...feeling things deeply and completely...it lets you know you're alive...
    .........................................................................
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    Yes...completelt true.
    ThE QUESTION-
    what makes you cry?Is it sadness?confusion?Death?
    I think its the death theory mixed with being shot down!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    well...I can cry for all different kinds of reasons...sometimes it's just that there's too much emotions at once...too much to process....often, it's because I am helpless to change something (this might be a masculine reason for crying...)
    .........................................................................
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    No I dont think so...Women cry for the same reasons....
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    No I dont think so...Women cry for the same reasons.......
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Really? Cool. I learn something new about women everyday.
    .........................................................................
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Inside the walls of a heart
    Reside the remains of past,
    And all pitside is the future.
    Inside the walls of a heart
    One gets Cabin Fever
    And sweet smells, delicate.
    Days climb past, askew,
    While the months of yourself
    Pile up a barricade of love
    Inside the walls of a heart.

    And here you lay
    Asleep and asleep
    And I no longer afraid
    As the light drapes you
    halfdark
    I will shift slowly
    slowly
    Dare not crash this
    One Singular Breathsmelling Moment

    To challenge love's govern just once.
    .........................................................................
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    I feel as though I should have a birthday poem for you today, but it's not actually my birthday yet, so maybe I'll have one tommorow! Here is what I do have:

    With the Body I Go

    The cats, unused to seeing me
    So early in the morning, peer quizzically
    As I move about the room naked and bloated,
    Smelling my armpits and drinking fervently water.
    I am not certain how many times the cats have seen a nude human.

    I settle on the couch
    And they seem to forget that I am here.
    They proceed about their own nonsense.
    I don't necessarily need them to notice me.

    It is dark, and much too silent.

    In the blackness, I can hear them licking.
    .........................................................................
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    gROOVE...THAT'S "hORROR-POETRY".
    NEW TITLE.
    Good, but it falls under horror!
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Ali wrote:
    gROOVE...THAT'S "hORROR-POETRY".
    NEW TITLE.
    Good, but it falls under horror!

    I can see why you say that....the last line is left rather open....perhaps I have started a new genre (actually I'm sure Poe did it...but I could bring it back!)
    .........................................................................
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    ....and I no longer afraid....

    you sound like you've gone through a lot....what could you be afraid of?
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    i love teh phrase 'to challenge love's govern just once'.....
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    ISN wrote:
    you sound like you've gone through a lot....what could you be afraid of?

    One could say I've been through a lot, but all experience is really relative, no?

    This poem is more retrospective than anything else...I won't deny that I am the narrator of it...the fear is cheifly that of rejection...
    .........................................................................
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    The groove is back.....:)
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Ali wrote:
    The groove is back.....:)

    Glad to know I've been missed...afraid I can't stay long...have another 4 AM wake-up call....

    nice to see you!
    .........................................................................
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    You poor thing!;0
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Ali wrote:
    You poor thing!;0

    it's not so bad...but to make it bearable I must go to bed earlier....went to sleep at 8PM last night (is that crazy or what?)....and that gets me 8 hours of sleep.....going to bed at 8 PM gets me 8 hours of sleep...it's fricken nuts!
    .........................................................................
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    I guess you gotta do what you gotta do!
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Ali wrote:
    I guess you gotta do what you gotta do!

    how went the job search?
    .........................................................................
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    how went the job search?
    I've decided just to wait for a governmental job with the state to open up cause I need the benefits...for now...I'm also working on the play and
    helping out at the theatre company in town that I used to work for,
    Passage Theatre Company.
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    is the disability enough to live on?
    .........................................................................
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