I think Juicy Fruit, which is a delicious sweet gum that my mom, who gardens chews, but I really really like ISN's reference to Gaugin (who my mom also loves) -- so I'm thinking:
I think Juicy Fruit, which is a delicious sweet gum that my mom, who gardens chews, but I really really like ISN's reference to Gaugin (who my mom also loves) -- so I'm thinking:
Gaugin's Juicy Fruit
wow! that is really off the wall...and pretty cool! hmmm....
little bit of a double meaning, it's got an obvious connection in her washing the clothes, it brings in the ivory throat, and the seconday meaning of covering up something of distinction and beauty with nothingness - the erasure before rebirth - but realistically you'd probably need another stanza for it to really fit - I feel like we're missing something before this poem starts though, it feels like coming in to the middle of a story
As i sit here and reminsce,.........
I can only find the nearly miss,...
Of lost loves and my first kiss,..
I dont know why, but it brings a tear,....
The feeling of me sitting here,.....
Pondering the thought of would could have been,.....
Thinking of you since then,....
Your laugh, your smile, a simple kiss,....
The simple things,.. I will always miss,....
little bit of a double meaning, it's got an obvious connection in her washing the clothes, it brings in the ivory throat, and the seconday meaning of covering up something of distinction and beauty with nothingness - the erasure before rebirth - but realistically you'd probably need another stanza for it to really fit - I feel like we're missing something before this poem starts though, it feels like coming in to the middle of a story
it does really come in in the middle of something, but I like that. I like the reader to occasionally need to fill in blanks.
Nonetheless, your title suggestion is a great one. Thanks for putting so much thought into it!
As i sit here and reminsce,.........
I can only find the nearly miss,...
Of lost loves and my first kiss,..
I dont know why, but it brings a tear,....
The feeling of me sitting here,.....
Pondering the thought of would could have been,.....
Thinking of you since then,....
Your laugh, your smile, a simple kiss,....
The simple things,.. I will always miss,....
I got more if you guys want it
Post away! Start making your own threads so everyone can see them!!
A title just completely eludes me. I thought you guys might be able to help.
Just one restriction: I don't want the words "ivory throat" on the title.
Any help will be appreciated!
I know of another woman
With an ivory throat
Who washes clothes by hand
With Lava soap
And wakes each day
With flowers in her hair;
She doesn't like bees
(although she's never been stung)
This woman with the ivory throat.
When she plants a garden
(which she does, she does)
Her plants grow plump
And juicy inside
And you can hear them sigh
As she walks by,
Her gardening-skirt
Rippling with her thighs.
love the juicy plants in the garden
I suggest the title
"The Unkonwing Temptress"
as if i really knew what you meant,
however,
i have known a temptress or two or three or .. ha!
Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
It's a good one Olderman, but I've just decided on Nast's suggestion (see post #41) thanks for reading it though!
good choice 'unknowing won'
he he he
you are welcome!!!
Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
Thanks everyone for your great ideas! You're all so damn good!
The poem is now officially titled "Strawberry Tea". Extra special thanks to Nast!
awesome choice.
I was gonna suggest "ripe dream"
because shes a fantasy (or dream) and "ripe" because of the sexuality that she exudes (even while gardening (: )
awesome choice.
I was gonna suggest "ripe dream"
because shes a fantasy (or dream) and "ripe" because of the sexuality that she exudes (even while gardening (: )
it's a good suggestion....as a matter of fact, it's a lot like "Strawberry Tea", when you think about it....so there must be something to both of them!
it's a good suggestion....as a matter of fact, it's a lot like "Strawberry Tea", when you think about it....so there must be something to both of them!
Thanx! Strawberry tea is the best choice.....
It reminded me of one of my pieces
that I titled " Wild strawberries "
Comments
Gaugin's Juicy Fruit
wow! that is really off the wall...and pretty cool! hmmm....
or White Wash
little bit of a double meaning, it's got an obvious connection in her washing the clothes, it brings in the ivory throat, and the seconday meaning of covering up something of distinction and beauty with nothingness - the erasure before rebirth - but realistically you'd probably need another stanza for it to really fit - I feel like we're missing something before this poem starts though, it feels like coming in to the middle of a story
I can only find the nearly miss,...
Of lost loves and my first kiss,..
I dont know why, but it brings a tear,....
The feeling of me sitting here,.....
Pondering the thought of would could have been,.....
Thinking of you since then,....
Your laugh, your smile, a simple kiss,....
The simple things,.. I will always miss,....
I got more if you guys want it
it does really come in in the middle of something, but I like that. I like the reader to occasionally need to fill in blanks.
Nonetheless, your title suggestion is a great one. Thanks for putting so much thought into it!
Post away! Start making your own threads so everyone can see them!!
OK, the great ideas need to stop now....I've GOT TOO MANY from you damned smart people...
shiftless....I love it.
The poem is now officially titled "Strawberry Tea". Extra special thanks to Nast!
love the juicy plants in the garden
I suggest the title
"The Unkonwing Temptress"
as if i really knew what you meant,
however,
i have known a temptress or two or three or .. ha!
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
It's a good one Olderman, but I've just decided on Nast's suggestion (see post #41) thanks for reading it though!
good choice 'unknowing won'
he he he
you are welcome!!!
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
awesome choice.
I was gonna suggest "ripe dream"
because shes a fantasy (or dream) and "ripe" because of the sexuality that she exudes (even while gardening (: )
it's a good suggestion....as a matter of fact, it's a lot like "Strawberry Tea", when you think about it....so there must be something to both of them!
Thanx! Strawberry tea is the best choice.....
It reminded me of one of my pieces
that I titled " Wild strawberries "
well, let's hear it! post away! i must read everyone's poetry!