Drug addiction is a sad, painful, empty experience. Most drug addicts I know or have known aren't doing it for the fun anymore. They're doing it because their body can't function without it. They are not having a good time.
Have any of you ever seen a heroin addict go bad? Some of them have seizures. Some of them shit and piss on themselves. Some of them even start hemorrhaging. It's a choice to start doing drugs, but once you are addicted, you don't own what drugs do to you...the drugs own you.
It is not a good feeling to know that you are hooked on something...or to know that it could be killing you.
Some of what is in my post is from the actual police report, this is what the police have already said and ignored, coincidently do you work for the SPD you seem to have the same attitude?
What I have posted are solid facts, your argument is I'll just ignore them and not consider them, to me that says its you taking the easy way out, as apparently the police have.
lol, great. if it's in the police reports, ask them why they're ignoring it. get your answers from the original source. and when they tell you what you don't want to hear, you can continue to say it's a complete cover-up.
"PC Load Letter?! What the fuck does that mean?"
~Michael Bolton
If people say he's so selfish for killing himself, they're being even more selfish. People who say that don't know Kurt and don't care about him personally, they just want to hear his music. If you feel strongly enough about something to put a gun to your head and shoot yourself, and you actually DO it, then I don't think that's being a pussy at all.
so you're sitting there deciding whether or not to end what you consider a miserable existence. you can't see a way out. you hurt more than you ever thought you could hurt. you are convinced that it would be better this way. your family and friends can get on with their lives and you can be through dealing with what it is that is hurting you. all you want is for the pain to stop.
all you want is for the pain to stop. so you stop it. the only way you know that is in your control. to make that decision knowing that it is final. that there is no coming back. now that takes a whole lot of conviction in my opinion. i don't consider it a weak act. nor an act of courage. i consider it an act by someone in a desparate situation. how you all can sit there and judge a person in this position is beyond me. you don't know kurt, so you don't know what was going through his head. just as you don't know what's going through anybody else's head when they make this decision. sure it fuckin' hurts for those left behind. and it's up to those people to decide how to get through it. there is always that little niggling part of you that says what if..?
if only they had've said something. these things happen. deal with it and get on with your life. but never forget what that person meant to you. and respect your friend enough to admit the decision is theirs alone and no one else's.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
unbelievable how people put this man on a pedestal. he short changed his fans, he brushed off his friends, and the most important thing of all: he left his child behind in courtney love's hands. i just can't get my brain around the fact that he wouldn't want to watch his child grow. fuck the music. if life is that bad, get help. it's not impossible. people that have had less than him have done it.
don't misinterpret what i'm saying. the music he made was good. from the interviews i've read and seen, he seemed like a nice guy. if he was in such bad shape, i'm sure the fans could have gone on without him in the music scene. get yourself better, man. for your kid, at least. as far as i'm concerned, that's what it all boils down to. his kid. his daughter. that he left behind. and that sickens me to no end.
"PC Load Letter?! What the fuck does that mean?"
~Michael Bolton
you can't do it for anyone other than yourself. you can't do it for your children. for your lover or whoever else. if you're not living your life for you then anything else seems like a compromise. and you will learn to hate them for it. do it for yourself and then everything else is a bonus. you can't make people happy witrhout being happy yourself.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
I agree with reeferchief. He could not have killed himself nor would he have. Kurt was at a turning point in his life, he was gonna break up Nirvana, and do his thing. He had started a side project with Stipe if I am not mistaken. Courtney was PISSED that he did not want to front Lollapalooza and forgo all the money. He, at this point was considering a divorce from her, because she was a controlling manipulative bitch. He also was in love with his daughter. She was the pride of his life, there is no way he would have ever left her.
But seriously everyone should read the website reeferchief mentioned. It makes you think what really happened. None of it is bullshit, its all fact. Its so crazy. The case should really be reopened and relooked at...
as said by Flea in an interview with Zane Lowe for Radio1... just thought i'd throw that in. He was talking about how it was hard going through the drugs, deaths etc
when ur depressed...nothing matters...i have been there.....but no way anywhere close what he went through. It's not like u just wake up one day and wanna end it. Its months/years of contemplation...and life just going downhill.
With that said....i think its a very sad comment made by a respectable peer/fellow musician.
"I had a false belief, I thought I came here to stay...We're all just visiting...All just breaking like waves."
10/19,20/96 11/15/97 7/16/98 10/30,31/99
10/30,31/00 10/20,21/01 6/1/03 10/25,26/03
7/13,15,16,18/06 4/5,7,8/08, 8/28/09, *7/9,11,12/11*
www.fearedandloathed.com
If people say he's so selfish for killing himself, they're being even more selfish.
i think he was selfish for the sole fact that he left his child behind to grow up without him
I LOVE THIS BAND
"If some guy's not really giving me a reaction, I'll try and fucking get a reaction out of him. And I feed off of that. I go crazy. In a good way."-Mike McCready
he was a drug headed fuck up and he wanted to escape the world...and plus he knew he would be known as a god if he died (he shouldn't be btw)
Did you even look at the websites mentioned in this thread? I would hardly call Kurt Cobain a fuck up, and when did he ever say he wanted to die? All the suicide shit is from Courtney, shes the one who implanted it in your mind that he was suicidal. You know whats great the first time "Kurt tried to kill himself" in Rome, when the news reporters and what not showed up Courtney Love had put on make up to make herself look good, who, while their husband could be possibly dying, puts on make up and spruces herself up? And why is there a person, now dead, who claims, and passed a lie detector test, that Courtney Love paid him 50 thousand dollars to kill Kurt? How was the door Kurt found himself in locked from the outside? How did he shoot up 3x the amount of a lethal dose for him and have time to put all his heroin stuff back in its case? Why are there no fingerprints on the gun? They way he was found, was so that the only way he could have pulled the trigger was with his toes which is highly unlikely. He should have been unconscious anyway, before pulling the trigger. Why is the end of "suicide" letter in a whole different handwriting?
The only thing Kurt wanted to get out of was the music industry and public eye.
Kurt and Nirvana, are something special to me. I remember the exact moment when I heard kurt had died. I remember, what i was doing, and I remember the exact space it was in the newspaper.
Whether anyone wants to admit it, Kurt was talented and a powerful and articulate person and singer.
His words mean more to me than I can ever express.
He was indeed a spokesman for me, whether he would like that idea, or whether you all agree I really dont care, to tell you the truth.
I was a youngster when Kurt died, and it's impact was profound, the use of heroin by the whole seattle scene, most likely is one reason why I never ever used drugs, or got into them at all.
I never felt like and still dont feel kurt let me or his fans, or his generation down. And I certainly dont feel he took the easy way out.
Kurt did what he had to do, he left behind a wife and a kid, and thats sad. But I don't feel he let me down. Maybe his daughter feels differently.
Kurt will be remembered much to the disdain and dislike of this board, as a musical genius in one of the most important bands in rock history.
To me that doesnt matter much. What matters to me, is that listening to his music, I got the feeling, this wasnt a joke, we werent being put on, we werent being lied to, and kurt wasnt playing music to get groupies or buy a fancy car.
He was playing to express his feelings, and to stop the pain in his stomach.
He was the last real rock star, and I think anyone with half a brain knows this.
Kurt changed my life, as an aspiring musician, my main goal is not to become a rich rock star, not to sell out stadiums, not even to not have to worry about paying bills, I want to play music because I want to inspire, and amaze and help people, just as Kurt's music helped me.
To call Kurt a coward as Flea did, is a bonehead move. Sure killing himself wasnt something he should have done, but why not focus on his impact.
He inspired millions of people to pick up the guitar, and made music that will be talked about in 50 years.
I'm sure that someone will say that there was a different meaning to that song that was actually positive.
The lyrics to "I Hate Myself and Want to Die"
Even if you own a wife
Even if you like in my state
I could never want a bribe
I've been there no matter what that
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe ...
Even if you wanted light
I could never matter to play
Even if you want a life
Even if I like it, you're sad
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
Even if you own a wife
Even if you wanted one thing
I could never want a life
I could never only one day
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
Doesnt sound like suicide to me. Also he came out and said the title was just a joke.
Kurt and Nirvana, are something special to me. I remember the exact moment when I heard kurt had died. I remember, what i was doing, and I remember the exact space it was in the newspaper.
Whether anyone wants to admit it, Kurt was talented and a powerful and articulate person and singer.
His words mean more to me than I can ever express.
He was indeed a spokesman for me, whether he would like that idea, or whether you all agree I really dont care, to tell you the truth.
I was a youngster when Kurt died, and it's impact was profound, the use of heroin by the whole seattle scene, most likely is one reason why I never ever used drugs, or got into them at all.
I never felt like and still dont feel kurt let me or his fans, or his generation down. And I certainly dont feel he took the easy way out.
Kurt did what he had to do, he left behind a wife and a kid, and thats sad. But I don't feel he let me down. Maybe his daughter feels differently.
Kurt will be remembered much to the disdain and dislike of this board, as a musical genius in one of the most important bands in rock history.
To me that doesnt matter much. What matters to me, is that listening to his music, I got the feeling, this wasnt a joke, we werent being put on, we werent being lied to, and kurt wasnt playing music to get groupies or buy a fancy car.
He was playing to express his feelings, and to stop the pain in his stomach.
He was the last real rock star, and I think anyone with half a brain knows this.
Kurt changed my life, as an aspiring musician, my main goal is not to become a rich rock star, not to sell out stadiums, not even to not have to worry about paying bills, I want to play music because I want to inspire, and amaze and help people, just as Kurt's music helped me.
To call Kurt a coward as Flea did, is a bonehead move. Sure killing himself wasnt something he should have done, but why not focus on his impact.
He inspired millions of people to pick up the guitar, and made music that will be talked about in 50 years.
Your post gave me chills, it was that good. I am happy some people here really understand what the for the lack of better word "hype" is about Nirvana and Kurt Cobain and why they are so important to the musical world.
i am a huge nirvana fan. and i'm a grown up.
i was a grown up when i became a fan and now i'm just older, wiser and a little bit sadder. but you know what? i have the music. it's always been about the music.
hear my name
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
« One man's glory is another man's hell.
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»
Comments
Have any of you ever seen a heroin addict go bad? Some of them have seizures. Some of them shit and piss on themselves. Some of them even start hemorrhaging. It's a choice to start doing drugs, but once you are addicted, you don't own what drugs do to you...the drugs own you.
It is not a good feeling to know that you are hooked on something...or to know that it could be killing you.
old music: http://www.myspace.com/slowloader
lol, great. if it's in the police reports, ask them why they're ignoring it. get your answers from the original source. and when they tell you what you don't want to hear, you can continue to say it's a complete cover-up.
~Michael Bolton
Suicide/possible murder = not the easy way out
all you want is for the pain to stop. so you stop it. the only way you know that is in your control. to make that decision knowing that it is final. that there is no coming back. now that takes a whole lot of conviction in my opinion. i don't consider it a weak act. nor an act of courage. i consider it an act by someone in a desparate situation. how you all can sit there and judge a person in this position is beyond me. you don't know kurt, so you don't know what was going through his head. just as you don't know what's going through anybody else's head when they make this decision. sure it fuckin' hurts for those left behind. and it's up to those people to decide how to get through it. there is always that little niggling part of you that says what if..?
if only they had've said something. these things happen. deal with it and get on with your life. but never forget what that person meant to you. and respect your friend enough to admit the decision is theirs alone and no one else's.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
don't misinterpret what i'm saying. the music he made was good. from the interviews i've read and seen, he seemed like a nice guy. if he was in such bad shape, i'm sure the fans could have gone on without him in the music scene. get yourself better, man. for your kid, at least. as far as i'm concerned, that's what it all boils down to. his kid. his daughter. that he left behind. and that sickens me to no end.
~Michael Bolton
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
But seriously everyone should read the website reeferchief mentioned. It makes you think what really happened. None of it is bullshit, its all fact. Its so crazy. The case should really be reopened and relooked at...
when ur depressed...nothing matters...i have been there.....but no way anywhere close what he went through. It's not like u just wake up one day and wanna end it. Its months/years of contemplation...and life just going downhill.
With that said....i think its a very sad comment made by a respectable peer/fellow musician.
I think Courtney did...
10/19,20/96 11/15/97 7/16/98 10/30,31/99
10/30,31/00 10/20,21/01 6/1/03 10/25,26/03
7/13,15,16,18/06 4/5,7,8/08, 8/28/09, *7/9,11,12/11*
www.fearedandloathed.com
"If some guy's not really giving me a reaction, I'll try and fucking get a reaction out of him. And I feed off of that. I go crazy. In a good way."-Mike McCready
www.myspace.com/lovethejam
he was a drug headed fuck up and he wanted to escape the world...and plus he knew he would be known as a god if he died (he shouldn't be btw)
Did you even look at the websites mentioned in this thread? I would hardly call Kurt Cobain a fuck up, and when did he ever say he wanted to die? All the suicide shit is from Courtney, shes the one who implanted it in your mind that he was suicidal. You know whats great the first time "Kurt tried to kill himself" in Rome, when the news reporters and what not showed up Courtney Love had put on make up to make herself look good, who, while their husband could be possibly dying, puts on make up and spruces herself up? And why is there a person, now dead, who claims, and passed a lie detector test, that Courtney Love paid him 50 thousand dollars to kill Kurt? How was the door Kurt found himself in locked from the outside? How did he shoot up 3x the amount of a lethal dose for him and have time to put all his heroin stuff back in its case? Why are there no fingerprints on the gun? They way he was found, was so that the only way he could have pulled the trigger was with his toes which is highly unlikely. He should have been unconscious anyway, before pulling the trigger. Why is the end of "suicide" letter in a whole different handwriting?
The only thing Kurt wanted to get out of was the music industry and public eye.
ummm..... ? read more about it.. seriously, you dont know WTF you're talking about..
If I could speak to him right now..i was say...you got what you wanted
are we excluding the song "i hate myself and want to die?"
Whether anyone wants to admit it, Kurt was talented and a powerful and articulate person and singer.
His words mean more to me than I can ever express.
He was indeed a spokesman for me, whether he would like that idea, or whether you all agree I really dont care, to tell you the truth.
I was a youngster when Kurt died, and it's impact was profound, the use of heroin by the whole seattle scene, most likely is one reason why I never ever used drugs, or got into them at all.
I never felt like and still dont feel kurt let me or his fans, or his generation down. And I certainly dont feel he took the easy way out.
Kurt did what he had to do, he left behind a wife and a kid, and thats sad. But I don't feel he let me down. Maybe his daughter feels differently.
Kurt will be remembered much to the disdain and dislike of this board, as a musical genius in one of the most important bands in rock history.
To me that doesnt matter much. What matters to me, is that listening to his music, I got the feeling, this wasnt a joke, we werent being put on, we werent being lied to, and kurt wasnt playing music to get groupies or buy a fancy car.
He was playing to express his feelings, and to stop the pain in his stomach.
He was the last real rock star, and I think anyone with half a brain knows this.
Kurt changed my life, as an aspiring musician, my main goal is not to become a rich rock star, not to sell out stadiums, not even to not have to worry about paying bills, I want to play music because I want to inspire, and amaze and help people, just as Kurt's music helped me.
To call Kurt a coward as Flea did, is a bonehead move. Sure killing himself wasnt something he should have done, but why not focus on his impact.
He inspired millions of people to pick up the guitar, and made music that will be talked about in 50 years.
The lyrics to "I Hate Myself and Want to Die"
Even if you own a wife
Even if you like in my state
I could never want a bribe
I've been there no matter what that
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe ...
Even if you wanted light
I could never matter to play
Even if you want a life
Even if I like it, you're sad
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
Even if you own a wife
Even if you wanted one thing
I could never want a life
I could never only one day
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
Doesnt sound like suicide to me. Also he came out and said the title was just a joke.
Your post gave me chills, it was that good. I am happy some people here really understand what the for the lack of better word "hype" is about Nirvana and Kurt Cobain and why they are so important to the musical world.
i am a huge nirvana fan. and i'm a grown up.
i was a grown up when i became a fan and now i'm just older, wiser and a little bit sadder. but you know what? i have the music. it's always been about the music.
take a good look
this could be the day
hold my hand
lie beside me
i just need to say
Do you wear a suite and a tie now?
You’re on the outside, never bound by such a spell.
Together in the darkness, alone in the light.
I took it upon me to be yours, Timmy,
I’ll lead your angels and demons at play tonight......»