Better Man
heartdesire
Posts: 430
Talkin to herself, theres no one else who needs to know...
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
I have always really liked this song, well loved it. I have sang it with all heart at shows ... but somewhere in me it felt like one of Pearl Jam's staples ... the hit song, the crowd pleaser ... not the ultimate favorite of the diehardandfastloveum'tiltheendfan. Feels weird to say that but it was a blocking thought I had.
I was just listening to the live version Chicago May 17th and something shifted hugely for me. I have been going through quite a whirlwind of depression and grief due to a rank choice I made. Things have been rather blue, well not blue as that is one of my favorite colors, just really bleak and dark.
I needed to find the light in me again so I put on the head phones and started listening, deeply listening as I once did and haven't done in quite some time, to a slew of PJ songs ... release, inside job, in hiding, garden, porch, love boat captain and then I came to Better Man.
I listened and I sang and I felt it and wow it may be a song written about finding a Better Man, but it sure encapsulates finding meaning and peace in whatever it is that may be blocking one. Well that is how I experienced it. So wow, what an evening for me. Once again PJ has opened my heart and my eyes, as they have time and again. PJ is definitely one of the best elixirs in life.
It is amazing how one thought can block the beauty of something amazing or just anything for that fact of the matter. Someone shared with me recently ...
"Thoughts become things ... choose the good ones!". So I'm watchin' my thoughts, choosin' the good ones and am forever thankful and amazed at the power of music and the soul of pearl jam.
thanks for readin' my ramble.
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
I have always really liked this song, well loved it. I have sang it with all heart at shows ... but somewhere in me it felt like one of Pearl Jam's staples ... the hit song, the crowd pleaser ... not the ultimate favorite of the diehardandfastloveum'tiltheendfan. Feels weird to say that but it was a blocking thought I had.
I was just listening to the live version Chicago May 17th and something shifted hugely for me. I have been going through quite a whirlwind of depression and grief due to a rank choice I made. Things have been rather blue, well not blue as that is one of my favorite colors, just really bleak and dark.
I needed to find the light in me again so I put on the head phones and started listening, deeply listening as I once did and haven't done in quite some time, to a slew of PJ songs ... release, inside job, in hiding, garden, porch, love boat captain and then I came to Better Man.
I listened and I sang and I felt it and wow it may be a song written about finding a Better Man, but it sure encapsulates finding meaning and peace in whatever it is that may be blocking one. Well that is how I experienced it. So wow, what an evening for me. Once again PJ has opened my heart and my eyes, as they have time and again. PJ is definitely one of the best elixirs in life.
It is amazing how one thought can block the beauty of something amazing or just anything for that fact of the matter. Someone shared with me recently ...
"Thoughts become things ... choose the good ones!". So I'm watchin' my thoughts, choosin' the good ones and am forever thankful and amazed at the power of music and the soul of pearl jam.
thanks for readin' my ramble.
"i'm a dedicated insomniac" ~ ev nyc beacon 6/22
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I love Betterman heart&desire! It's the reason I became hooked on PJ in the first place.
"Thoughts become things ... choose the good ones!".
Thanks for so eloquently reminding me of a good thought, and a bad thought at the same time and managing to remind me of how to go forward bravely and happily.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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Your ramble was well worth reading. I really am inspired by that quote. I am going to write it down and post it around my home and my desk at work as a reminder.
As for Betterman - I've been a diehard fan since Ten - I absolutely love this song because it touches me -could care less how many times they play it or who may think it's lame because it will always mean a great deal to me. I have always found that it has helped to rid specific demons from my soul. And I am glad it has helped you. good thoughts coming your way.
It's a great quote isn't bookmuse? And your suggestion a great one!
Might have to do that myself.
Oh and btw I have found a great little music exchange that may actually be able to get me a few Lovemonger discs!!
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Here is another gem I just received today ...
Thoughts Are Things - ICR 338
I hold it true that thoughts are things;
They're endowed with bodies and breath and wings
And that we send them forth to fill
The world with good results, or ill.
That which we call our secret thought
Speeds forth to earth's remotest spot,
Leaving its blessings or its woes
Like tracks behind it as it goes.
We build our future, thought by thought,
For good or ill, yet know it not.
Yet, so the universe was wrought.
Thought is another name for fate;
Choose, then, thy destiny and wait,
For love brings love and hate brings hate.
- Henry Van Dyke
Christopher
P.S. Like attracts like. Watch what you vibrate.
Have an amazing weekend! h&d
I hear this song and I only think of people who don't realize that yet. Who see life only as bleak; who see it as a tunnel to go down and don't find the next opening. So, it's not my favorite song.
However, again, it's great to hear that it means something different and more meaningful to others.
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
Hi Jeanie,
Hope the exchange comes through for you. I think I'm going to look for a Lovemongers CD or two myself. Why I haven't yet is beyond me
heart&desire posted another Gem. Like it.
It is amazing. I see how you may think it's bleak but I think the lady did leave the man eventually. It's like that in relationships that are bad or not just right. There is a time when one goes back and forth within their minds and question what they are feeling and what their choices and actions should be. At one time you loved this person, now you don't and it feels like shit. It's the life you built together and the heartache. It's hard to leave a relationship because relationships are multi-facetted. So, I see it as more a struggle within yourself to do what you know needs to be done but it's a very hard thing to do and relationships die over time. I think she gets out...not bleak to me...and because she experienced this she won't settle next time.
Hiya! I'm glad you posted this because I got an email reminder which I needed!!
Love the latest addition from heart&desire! Another one to cut and paste into my poetry file!!
Maybe we should make a "poetry & quotes we love" thread?
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H&D I'm so sorry, I thought I'd posted a response to this the other day, but I must have got caught up in other irrelevant crap!! So sorry for that!!
Yes, there are some amazing people here in PJ land! And it's so nice to be able to share with the good ones.
Hope your weekend was awesome.
AND hope to hear you again soon!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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Well not physical abuse, not as far as I can see, or hear.
I think it's about a woman in a relationship with a man who stays out all night, and how she wants to tell him that it's not acceptable to her, wants him to know that she deserves better. But the apathy of the relationship has set in and she lacks the courage of her convictions to speak up. She's lying to herself that she loves him, because she's forgotten the girl she once was. She has to tell herself that she's in love with him in order to stay there.
I think it's about not being able to find a betterman, but really it's about not being able to find the best woman that she can be. It's about a woman who has lost herself.
Least that's how I hear it anyway.
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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See thats what makes Pearl Jam songs so beautiful.... you hit it on the head. "How I hear it!"
Some people listen to music, Pearl Jam fans HEAR the music... and that is a big difference. You can actually spin it around. Some people hear music, and some people LISTEN to music.
It's all in the "Ear of the beholder."
All I know is, since 1990, there isnt a day that goes by where I offer my ears / heart /soul and mind to PEARL JAM. they Saved me, I owe it to them.
A few years back, my cousin was depressed and was lost. He was into heavy metal, dark music and things like that. I am very close to him, and he talks to me, and pretty much only me. So I LISTENED to him, and I created a cd (ALL Pearl Jam) about what I thought would make him FEEL the music....
It worked. He's now happily married. They are trying to have kids.... and the Beauty of it...he doesnt listen to anything but Pearl Jam now.
I even spent $500each for 2 front row tickets this past PJ concert in Cleveland and took him..... as some songs we belted out live by the PJ gang, I looked over and saw tears at times coming from my cousins eyes.....
That worked for me. I was able to get 1 person to be hooked, which means I KNOW I did 1 thing to change 1 persons life.... and I try all the time.
Take care, be wise, and LISTEN.
www.mymobileupload.com
Cleveland 94
Cleveland 06'
The Vic in Chicago 07'
Thank you mgervace.
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i was curious to read your opinion cause i was looking for some videos on youtube and i found the vh1 storytellers and eddie said that it's about abuse-actually that it's about his mom and his step-father. but the whole song is somekind of paradox and oksimoron...it's totally weird and absolute...i love it
So he said it was about actual physical abuse? That's interesting because I never got that from it. I just figured the guy was a cheater and a drunk who stayed out all night. I knew it was about his mum and step dad but I thought the step dad saved his abuse for Ed and the other kids. I wasn't aware of the Mum copping it. BUT hey, what the hell would I know!
Yeah, the vh1 Storytellers is looking more and more interesting to me strutter, unfortunately I don't think we get it here. Well certainly not on free to air tv anyway, and I have dial up so I spend a lot of time staring longingly at the stuff on youtube but never actually being able to download it. :( Thanks for posting that little tit bit strutter and obviously I love Betterman too!!
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WOW...that's exactly my story!! I heard this song a thousand times, and yet a friend pointed out (the first time she heard it) that it may mirror me. I listened a little closer, and geez....it was the same thing, right down to the dedication Ed gave at a show.... It was time to change my situation. I should have known I would have all the love and support around me I needed to do what I had to.
So many PJ songs relate to so many..I guess we humans aren't that different at all.....
The love he receives is the love that is saved
And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
A human being that was given to fly
i remember that it's about abuse-not sure physical or emotional-this clip isn't posted on youtube anymore :-(
No we're not...Glad to hear you chose to change your situation
Damn!! That'd be right!! By the time I get broadband everything will be under copyright and I'll never see it!! :(
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there are (in last two weeks) a lot of things under copyright...i lost about 25 clips...:-((
That completely sucks!! :( I knew it!! Murphy's Law!! By the time I get broadband there'll be nothing worth having! Damn!! :(
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there's a lot of pj clips from concerts...don't worry...:-)
i lost some other very valuable clips
Phew!! **Jeanie wipes brow and visiably relaxes** Well that's good to know!
Shame you lost stuff though. :( Like what? Can you talk about it?
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anyway, I like the joyous ending to Betterman...life sucks sometimes, but sooner or later it will turn around...
And like a lot of you here...Pearl Jam saved me, too. I got intensely into them when I did (2005, but I have always liked them) because that was what my soul needed at the time...and seeing them live...well, THAT changed my life!
It so does change your life doesn't it VF10? Betterman is THE best!! And seeing the boys live, being with everyone, the atmosphere, the love, it's like being lifted up and held, floating. One of THE best experiences you can ever had! And I'm lucky enough to have managed it more than once!!
Hubby sounds lovely girl! Congratulations!! So good to find your soulmate.
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NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Not Kiss unplugged!! :(
Not PJ on vh1! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! :(
That's just plain wrong! Wrong I say!!!
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"..........pretends to sleep as he looks her over" , definitely a defense posture,
"..........she dreams in colour, she dreams in red", this has got to be her dreaming of killing him to escape, the red is his blood,
"..........can't find a better man", classic disempowerment and total loss of self-esteem, typical in battering relationships.
But, despite this, it is an amzing song with a rare power to move people, and if you don't listen to the lyrics closely it is very beautiful ,and a lot of people play it at weddings, apparently. Mind you they play Every Breath You Take too, which is another stalker/batterer song, remember, I'll be watching you !!!!
You edited!!
Anyway, luce, I can see why you'd see it this way but I took from the opening lines:
waiting, watching the clock, it's 4 o'clock, it's got to stop, tell him, take no more, she practices her speeches, he opens the door, she rolls over, pretends to sleep as he looks her over.......that this is NOT about a battered woman.
Coz no battered woman I know is practicing to speak up.
They know what will happen if they do.
The whole song sounds like apathy to me. She's here but she still has bright colorful dreams.
Anyway it's all interpretive, right?
But I do agree about Every Breath! Which is why I've always preferred Message in A Bottle!!!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
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