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My husband just killed himself, and I wanted to let you know that..

KilloranKilloran Posts: 27
edited July 2005 in Words and Music...Communication
he really appreciated your music.

I know it is highly unlikely that anyone from the band actually reads this stuff, I just wanted to say it.

He's an incredibly talented guitar player, and I'm not talking all this new Good Charlotte type crap.. he developed his own scale and everything. He can play everything.

Indifference was the first song he ever recorded, and the last one I remember him screaming.

I just wanted to say thank you for writing good music. I'm sorry, I just don't know what else to do.. just.. thank you.
http://www.myspace.com/karatepop

my spaceship
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • restlesssoulrestlesssoul Posts: 6,951
    WELCOME TO THE PEARL JAM MESSAGE BOARD

    we hope you are okay, i think we are all a little shocked.....if we can ease your pain in anyway, let us know, as we are a loving bunch. im sorry. take care.


    (somebody had to say something) hope this helped
    Van '98, Sea I+II '00, Sea '01, Sea II '02, Van '03, Gorge, Van, Cal, Edm '05, Bos I+II, Phi I+II, DC, SF II+III, Port, Gorge I+II '06, DC, NY I+II '08, Sea I+II, Van, Ridge , LA III+IV' 09, Indy '10, Cal, Van '11, Lond, Van, Sea '13, Memphis '14, RRHOF '17, Sea I+II '18, Van I+II, Vegas I+II '24
  • kdpjamkdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Killoran wrote:
    he really appreciated your music.

    I know it is highly unlikely that anyone from the band actually reads this stuff, I just wanted to say it.

    He's an incredibly talented guitar player, and I'm not talking all this new Good Charlotte type crap.. he developed his own scale and everything. He can play everything.

    Indifference was the first song he ever recorded, and the last one I remember him screaming.

    I just wanted to say thank you for writing good music. I'm sorry, I just don't know what else to do.. just.. thank you.

    i'm so sorry, from the bottom of my heart. i don't know what to say except god bless you. you can't take away love. it lasts forever... strength to you and yours.
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • gimmesometruth27gimmesometruth27 Posts: 23,303
    i am so sorry to hear that. you and your family are in my prayers.
    "You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry."  - Lincoln

    "Well, you tell him that I don't talk to suckas."
  • Innocent_BystanderInnocent_Bystander Posts: 615
    I am really sorry for your loss.
    Life reveals what is dealt through seasons
    Circle comes around each time
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Posts: 7,265
    I'm very sorry for you.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • newfie_jammernewfie_jammer Posts: 1
    I don't pray often but i will pray for you and your family tonight.
    I am really sorry for your loss.
    M.A.R.S....
    Mars Bitches!
    -Black Bush
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Listen to lots of Pearl Jam. I guarantee he'd want you to.
    .........................................................................
  • Big Green CountryBig Green Country Posts: 188
    Sorry for your loss. Stay strong and know that there are many on this board who are here for you.
  • puremagicpuremagic Posts: 1,907
    How sad that this should be your first post. May the music that he created and the music that he loved give you the strength to remember the happier times you both shared. Peace be with you and your family. The answer to your question is no, there was nothing else you could have done. The decision was his. Sorry for your lost.
    SIN EATERS--We take the moral excrement we find in this equation and we bury it down deep inside of us so that the rest of our case can stay pure. That is the job. We are morally indefensible and absolutely necessary.
  • JDE-PJJDE-PJ Posts: 721
    I am sorry for the pain and suffering you must be going through, and I hope you and your family find the peace to get you through this terrible time.



    I think the bands management or if not them, the moderators of this forum can alert the management of this post, and the band will at least know of the passion your husband had for the band and the music, I hope so anyway.


    Treasure his music and your shared memories, and again I am sorry for your loss.
    I know someday you will have a beautiful Life


    Jason
  • keyinmyhandkeyinmyhand Posts: 29
    You are in my thoughts and prayers. Just always remember the good times you had and hold on tight to them.
    " When you want more than you have
    You think you need
    And when you think more than you want
    Your thoughts begin to bleed."
    E.V. Society


    "And by the way, their real and their spectacular!"
  • failedpersephonefailedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    I understand the pain you are going thru
    I hope that you just remember that life is a journey and we are all going to get to the end.

    The only person I have ever loved died three years ago. and it still is just sitting in my chest.

    love is worth it all and I will see him again soon...you will see your love soon as well.
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • ladygooddivaladygooddiva Posts: 4,169
    damn that´s hard and must be very shocking for you and your /his family .
    we are here for you ...music but nothing can keep the pain away ...i am soooooo very sorry for your loose
  • KilloranKilloran Posts: 27
    JDE-PJ wrote:
    I am sorry for the pain and suffering you must be going through, and I hope you and your family find the peace to get you through this terrible time.



    I think the bands management or if not them, the moderators of this forum can alert the management of this post, and the band will at least know of the passion your husband had for the band and the music, I hope so anyway.


    Treasure his music and your shared memories, and again I am sorry for your loss.

    It just sucks.. I can't remember his voice very well anymore, he's only 26.. I want to get his demo tape, but his brother may want it.
    Sorry.
    http://www.myspace.com/karatepop

    my spaceship
  • wakeupscreamingwakeupscreaming Posts: 71
    to hear that one of us died in this way. i think all of our thoughts are with you. you should do what he would wanted you to do (and what the others already said): hear the music he loved, that he made...maybe there´s a little help for you in the music in this situation.

    i´m very moved, and i´m very shocked about to hear that, i wish and i hope the best for you and your family. you´re not alone; if you have something you want to talk about, the pj fans will stand by your side.
    i hurt myself today,
    to see if i still feel,
    i focus all the pain,
    the only thing that´s real...
  • trappedinmyradiotrappedinmyradio Posts: 1,189
    i know how hard this has to be for you...only time will make any sense of it all, if there is any sense to be had. all my thoughts and hopes are for you, right now...just be okay.
    I'll dig a tunnel
    from my window to yours
  • moyboymoyboy Posts: 131
    my thoughts are with you and I am so sorry for your loss. there is nothing that I could possibly say that might console you, but there is a great group here if you need someone to talk with. please take care and realize that he lives on in your heart and memories.
  • KaddikatKaddikat Posts: 1,194
    :( sorry to hear of your loss. hang in there. :( :(
    **Get outa my way, just step aside, or pay the price ~ AC/DC**

    You make me feel uncalm and I think I like it - 311

    JEFF ROX MY SOX!

    "Jeff is just a badass all the way across the board" ~aNiMaL~

    "Chill out Kaddikat"
  • KilloranKilloran Posts: 27
    Thank you for the support, it is very much appreciated.

    A week before he died he smashed all the CDs while in a fit of rage, yet all the Pearl Jam CDs survived, so I'm going to get those as well.. if he didn't smash those, too.. I doubt he did.

    Thanks again
    http://www.myspace.com/karatepop

    my spaceship
  • pearlmuttpearlmutt Posts: 392
    you are in my thoughts.
  • darthvedder88darthvedder88 Posts: 1,023
    That is just awful. I'm very sorry that you're are going through such a terrible point in your life. We'll give you all the love you need. Listen to "Light Years" I heard that Eddie wrote it for a friend who had died.
    "Darth Vader would say 'Impressive'."

    -Eddie Vedder

    6/24/06 Cincinatti, Ohio
    6/14/08 Manchester, Tennessee
  • KilloranKilloran Posts: 27
    darthvedder88 wrote:
    That is just awful. I'm very sorry that you're are going through such a terrible point in your life. We'll give you all the love you need. Listen to "Light Years" I heard that Eddie wrote it for a friend who had died.

    I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle listening to Pearl Jam ever again, but I'm definately going to try..
    http://www.myspace.com/karatepop

    my spaceship
  • oi loike da...oi loike da... Posts: 37
    Sorry for the loss, i can't imagine your pain.
    If anyone has any good ideas for band names PM me cause me and my band are amazingly stuck for ideas. Darn that band Pearl Jam for having such a cool name
  • gjemselgjemsel Posts: 77
    I am very sorry for your loss, as well as your family and his. Let us know if you want to chat or if we can help in any of the little ways to make things seem better.
    . . . and in the aching night under satellites, I was not received. --CC
  • «¤tîg®ê§§¤»«¤tîg®ê§§¤» Posts: 5,137
    My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Please hang around here if youneed someone just to pass time with and chat with. We are always here and lending an ear or an outstretched hug, cyber style, are our specialties. Stay strong, and listen to the music. It may sound like a hard thing to do but you will find solice inside it. Take Care
    he who forgets will be destined to remember
  • Pearl Jam and toastPearl Jam and toast Posts: 4,475
    thanks for sharing.

    i'm sorry for your loss...

    this community is pretty tight... hope you're a fan too.
    Come on pilgrim you know he loves you..

    http://www.wishlistfoundation.org

    Oh my, they dropped the leash.



    Morgan Freeman/Clint Eastwood 08' for President!

    "Make our day"
  • KilloranKilloran Posts: 27
    Pearl Jam and toast wrote:
    thanks for sharing.

    i'm sorry for your loss...

    this community is pretty tight... hope you're a fan too.

    Yep.. I've been a fan since I was.. 8 or 9ish? No idea.. my older sister loves Pearl Jam, so I followed her I guess.

    I just got back from the viewing/funeral, and I told him about all the support.. that everyone misses him, but he didn't get up.. so.. that was awful.

    His forehead was all bruised, not even the makeup could cover it.. his cheek too. He has a cut on his nose that wasn't there when I left a week ago.. and on his hands.
    Only a few people were actually mad at me and showed it.. they skipped over me for hugs, which is fine, I guess. I understand.. no one blames me more than myself.

    I went back to the house (which is a tiny trailer from the 60s), the carpet was taken out, the bed frame was against the wall - I guess he did it on the bed.. because his pillow (the thing I wanted more than anything else) was gone, as well as the mattress, sheets, and one of the blankets.

    okay.. no more of that. It makes me feel sick. I can't handle it.

    Just.. thank you guys. Please excse my poor grammar/spelling - I'm terribly tired, I haven't been sleeping or eating, and I'm just really out of it. Thanks.
    http://www.myspace.com/karatepop

    my spaceship
  • smokeabudsmokeabud Posts: 253
    he must have had some serious issues to take his own life. i hope he is at peace .
    Vote for PJ to play in Alaska

    11/91 chicago
    7/11/95 chicago
    6/29/98 chicago
    5/30/00 london UK
    6/4/00 manchester UK
    10/8/00 alpine valley
    10/9/00 chicago
    6/18/03 chicago

    PLAY ALASKA U PUSSIES
  • KilloranKilloran Posts: 27
    smokeabud wrote:
    he must have had some serious issues to take his own life. i hope he is at peace .

    He loves me more than anything, and he's so scared of losing me. He thought I was leaving him, so he started drinking again. I think it was mostly the alcohol. He changes completely when he's drunk.
    http://www.myspace.com/karatepop

    my spaceship
  • soaks the pagessoaks the pages Posts: 91
    i'm sorry. suicide is a difficult thing to handle, and all i can say is i'm sorry and that i hope you will find comfort somehow.
    that's faarkokte.
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