World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD) is on June 1st
blondieblue227
Va, USA Posts: 4,509
.... and I want to thank Pearl Jam for being there for me when I was a teenager. 
This is what it sounds like, this is an example of why it's impossible to tell another, a 11 year old Ivy says, “I don't want to be like them when I grow up.” (Ivy knows she can't tell anybody her parents are mean because they are so charming in public.) Another teenage girl with normal growing pains say, “OMG, I can't stand my Mom. I hate her. I hope I'm never like her.” Think about those two quotes, they are very similar, only one is coming from a child who is being abused. When I did voice to another about the abuse I only sounded like a whinny little brat. Here's a couple of lines I've said as an adult. I can easily see how the comments wouldn't stick and fly over somebody's head. “They act different when people are around.” and “They are putting on a show for you.” and “They want your attention.”
Professionals such as, social workers, guidance counselors etc, do not understand No Contact is the only way to handle narcissistic abuse. I have been asked to speak to my abusers and again and again, only to open the door to more abuse because these professionals have no training. This is another reason why children don't speak up about the abuse because there's always a push for children to interact with their parents. I'm sure professionals with no training on this type of child abuse views the parent doing everything they can and the child making a mountain out of a mole hill.
I tried to tell people I was being abused at age 16. By the time I was 17, after years of enduring the abuse I had a nervous breakdown and was sent to a mental health hospital. I missed a lot of school. I shouldn't have graduated with my class.
I'm sharing this for one reason, so, “MAYBE SOMEDAY ANOTHER CHILD WON'T FEEL AS ALONE AS SHE DOES, it's been two years and counting, since they put her in this place, she's been diagnosed by some stupid fuck, and mommy agrees. Why go home?” Pearl Jam, “Why Go”. Before anything else, I had Pearl Jam lyrics to let me know I wasn't alone. Their lyrics seemed to zero in exactly on this unexplainable invisible abuse. I knew something was wrong when I was very young. .... I'm talking age 7. Pearl Jam came along when I was 13 and a lot of their early lyrics validated my feelings. Even though I have seen mental health counselors intermittently since I was a child, I didn't know the abuse had a name until my late 30's. When a close friend told me what my parents were, only then I was able to reach out to learn and heal. I'm not sure why none of my mental health counselors told me the name of the abuse?
When the abuse is at its worse, it feels like they secretly want me dead and they'll do a real good job of nearly killing me without laying a single finger on me. On a good day, I know their script. I know exactly what they will say before they say it and I'll have to concentrate hard to keep from rolling my eyes and/or busting out in laughter. When you're a child you learn not to have an identity. If you do discover yourself you know darn well you had better hide it from your parents. (My mother describes our relationship as the Two Headed Monster. Because in her eyes, I'm an extension of her. I am her, not Ivy.)
The set up is backward. The adults are to be the center of the child's' world. You are to know what they want before they know. The moment you stop making them the center of your universe they no longer have any use for you and begin to punish you. The moment you hit puberty (if you were getting) any type of nurturing at all stops abruptly and your parents are suddenly in competition with you. If you can show them you have no Narcissistic Supply for them, neglect sets in. Neglect is easier than the abuse. You want to be neglected by your parents. Your parents are not “A Safe Place”. Meaning you know not to go them for advice or for life skills, such as what to do when your car battery dies or how to replace a clapper in the toilet, or how to balance a checkbook, etc. Something simple turns into a stressful dramatic ordeal, because of their need to make it about them. I'm assuming many who have survived narcissistic child abuse don't know how to build a healthy and safe circle of support to go to when essential life advice is needed.
There's a reason why a narcissist seems to like and create drama. Because the narcissist inner voice is so toxic, they truly don't feel comfortable until they believe they are the victim in a real life situation. They have to make real life match their toxic inner voice. Their need to play the victim is so intense that they will create situations that make no sense to anybody else. As the narcissist is creating these situations to ensure they're the victim, the problem at hand is easily forgotten about amongst the chaos. Playing the victim is one manipulation tactic used by narcissists.
Two of the most important things to know about narcissists is they lack empathy and will put themselves first in any given situation.
What to know about narcissistic abuse, it is invisible, it is nearly impossible for the victim to explain, and it is handed down from one generation to the next.
Terms to know:
- The Scapegoat
- The Golden Child
- The Runner
- Flying Monkeys
- Gaslighting
- Projection
- Circular Conversations
- Smear Campaigns
- Narcissistic Supply
- Complex PTSD
- Dissociation
- No Contact
- Grey Rock
Honorable Mention 1 of 3: My disability. Some people pity or find it inspirational. Puke. What's inspirational is how I survived and now cope with the aftermath of this abuse. What is a pity is that this personality disorder even exists. What is a pity is that this abuse is unrecognizable. If you must insist that my disability is inspirational, then it is an inspiration to have achieved so much while managing the narcissistic abuse. What is inspirational that I've learned so much and I'm far enough away from the abuse to be typing this. My disability prevented suicide attempts. When I was young, disability put ad .... Read the rest of this and view pictures and video playlist, please visit and share: https://tinyurl.com/y3nuor8m
I'm a narcissistic abuse survivor. I was abused as a child and into adulthood by my parents. World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD) is on June 1st. This type of abuse is invisible to the eye and nearly impossible for a child to explain. I'm an adult, and I still can not explain it to a person in a simple line or two.
This is what it sounds like, this is an example of why it's impossible to tell another, a 11 year old Ivy says, “I don't want to be like them when I grow up.” (Ivy knows she can't tell anybody her parents are mean because they are so charming in public.) Another teenage girl with normal growing pains say, “OMG, I can't stand my Mom. I hate her. I hope I'm never like her.” Think about those two quotes, they are very similar, only one is coming from a child who is being abused. When I did voice to another about the abuse I only sounded like a whinny little brat. Here's a couple of lines I've said as an adult. I can easily see how the comments wouldn't stick and fly over somebody's head. “They act different when people are around.” and “They are putting on a show for you.” and “They want your attention.”
Professionals such as, social workers, guidance counselors etc, do not understand No Contact is the only way to handle narcissistic abuse. I have been asked to speak to my abusers and again and again, only to open the door to more abuse because these professionals have no training. This is another reason why children don't speak up about the abuse because there's always a push for children to interact with their parents. I'm sure professionals with no training on this type of child abuse views the parent doing everything they can and the child making a mountain out of a mole hill.
I tried to tell people I was being abused at age 16. By the time I was 17, after years of enduring the abuse I had a nervous breakdown and was sent to a mental health hospital. I missed a lot of school. I shouldn't have graduated with my class.
I'm sharing this for one reason, so, “MAYBE SOMEDAY ANOTHER CHILD WON'T FEEL AS ALONE AS SHE DOES, it's been two years and counting, since they put her in this place, she's been diagnosed by some stupid fuck, and mommy agrees. Why go home?” Pearl Jam, “Why Go”. Before anything else, I had Pearl Jam lyrics to let me know I wasn't alone. Their lyrics seemed to zero in exactly on this unexplainable invisible abuse. I knew something was wrong when I was very young. .... I'm talking age 7. Pearl Jam came along when I was 13 and a lot of their early lyrics validated my feelings. Even though I have seen mental health counselors intermittently since I was a child, I didn't know the abuse had a name until my late 30's. When a close friend told me what my parents were, only then I was able to reach out to learn and heal. I'm not sure why none of my mental health counselors told me the name of the abuse?
When the abuse is at its worse, it feels like they secretly want me dead and they'll do a real good job of nearly killing me without laying a single finger on me. On a good day, I know their script. I know exactly what they will say before they say it and I'll have to concentrate hard to keep from rolling my eyes and/or busting out in laughter. When you're a child you learn not to have an identity. If you do discover yourself you know darn well you had better hide it from your parents. (My mother describes our relationship as the Two Headed Monster. Because in her eyes, I'm an extension of her. I am her, not Ivy.)
The set up is backward. The adults are to be the center of the child's' world. You are to know what they want before they know. The moment you stop making them the center of your universe they no longer have any use for you and begin to punish you. The moment you hit puberty (if you were getting) any type of nurturing at all stops abruptly and your parents are suddenly in competition with you. If you can show them you have no Narcissistic Supply for them, neglect sets in. Neglect is easier than the abuse. You want to be neglected by your parents. Your parents are not “A Safe Place”. Meaning you know not to go them for advice or for life skills, such as what to do when your car battery dies or how to replace a clapper in the toilet, or how to balance a checkbook, etc. Something simple turns into a stressful dramatic ordeal, because of their need to make it about them. I'm assuming many who have survived narcissistic child abuse don't know how to build a healthy and safe circle of support to go to when essential life advice is needed.
There's a reason why a narcissist seems to like and create drama. Because the narcissist inner voice is so toxic, they truly don't feel comfortable until they believe they are the victim in a real life situation. They have to make real life match their toxic inner voice. Their need to play the victim is so intense that they will create situations that make no sense to anybody else. As the narcissist is creating these situations to ensure they're the victim, the problem at hand is easily forgotten about amongst the chaos. Playing the victim is one manipulation tactic used by narcissists.
Two of the most important things to know about narcissists is they lack empathy and will put themselves first in any given situation.
What to know about narcissistic abuse, it is invisible, it is nearly impossible for the victim to explain, and it is handed down from one generation to the next.
Terms to know:
- The Scapegoat
- The Golden Child
- The Runner
- Flying Monkeys
- Gaslighting
- Projection
- Circular Conversations
- Smear Campaigns
- Narcissistic Supply
- Complex PTSD
- Dissociation
- No Contact
- Grey Rock
Honorable Mention 1 of 3: My disability. Some people pity or find it inspirational. Puke. What's inspirational is how I survived and now cope with the aftermath of this abuse. What is a pity is that this personality disorder even exists. What is a pity is that this abuse is unrecognizable. If you must insist that my disability is inspirational, then it is an inspiration to have achieved so much while managing the narcissistic abuse. What is inspirational that I've learned so much and I'm far enough away from the abuse to be typing this. My disability prevented suicide attempts. When I was young, disability put ad .... Read the rest of this and view pictures and video playlist, please visit and share: https://tinyurl.com/y3nuor8m
PURPOSE OF MY POST:
Learn how to spot Narcissists and if you can possibly save a child from this bullshit, do it.
#IfMyWoundsWereVisible
#WorldNarcissisticAbuseAwarenessDay
#WNAAD
#ProjectSemicolon
#MentalHealthAwareness
#BreakTheStigma
#BreakTheCycle
Learn how to spot Narcissists and if you can possibly save a child from this bullshit, do it.
#IfMyWoundsWereVisible
#WorldNarcissisticAbuseAwarenessDay
#WNAAD
#ProjectSemicolon
#MentalHealthAwareness
#BreakTheStigma
#BreakTheCycle
*~Pearl Jam will be blasted from speakers until morale improves~*
Post edited by blondieblue227 on
0
Comments
People don't understand and tell me to get over it. I am still struggling with the damage of losing my son for 5 years and being told by everyone who should have been helping me get my son away from him that I was unstable and dangerous. It is infuriating. My son is living with me now but we lost years together and he has been affected, I have PTSD, and the narcissist just lives his pitiful life. They are dangerous, but you don't know till it's too late. And they work everyone else at all times. I can't imagine going through it with my parents, reading your post helps me understand what my son may feel a bit. He's very confused and angry. I am sorry for what you went through and the scars you live with.
Know you are not the only one and that there are many people who unfortunately wind up in some sort of relationship with a narcissist. And they are never the same. It is a hard road to recovery. But I did learn that no contact is the only way. Co-parenting was not an option, I tried for a year, it was ridiculous. You are very brave to have survived this and thank you for letting me know that today is a day to spread awareness. I am firm in the belief that I have lived through awful things and the only good thing I can do is to spread my truth and if 100 people think I'm an ass but 1 person just reads it and knows they are not alone, it is worth everything.
Thank you.
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