Mom chases down teen son after he steals her BMW, spanks him with belt on side of road

13

Comments

  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BCPosts: 9,899
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • pjhawkspjhawks Posts: 9,423
    edited May 14
    pjhawks said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    have you been in a bad mood or something?  seriously i don't remember you being as contentious as you have seem to be the last few weeks.   i mean i don't necessarily agree with McGruff (as i said in my 1st post i'm on the fence about this one) but i don't see the need to insult either. 
    Calling them as I see them.

    Agree to disagree on pointing out child abuse defending being an "insult".

    Peace be with you.
    you posted a gif telling him to stay classy. i'd call that an insult.  i don't know, call me crazy.

    would verbal abuse have been ok?   as McGruff mentioned calling the cops would have lead to financial issues for the mom with lawyers' fees, court appearances, etc.  
    Post edited by pjhawks on
  • dankinddankind I am not your foot. Posts: 13,444
    edited May 14
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    Whatever gets them out of my house soonest.... :lol:
    I SAW PEARL JAM
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 12,316
    pjhawks said:
    pjhawks said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    have you been in a bad mood or something?  seriously i don't remember you being as contentious as you have seem to be the last few weeks.   i mean i don't necessarily agree with McGruff (as i said in my 1st post i'm on the fence about this one) but i don't see the need to insult either. 
    Calling them as I see them.

    Agree to disagree on pointing out child abuse defending being an "insult".

    Peace be with you.
    you posted a gif telling him to stay classy. i'd call that an insult.  i don't know, call me crazy.

    would verbal abuse have been ok?   as McGruff mentioned calling the cops would have lead to financial issues for the mom with lawyers' fees, court appearances, etc.  
    What is verbal abuse in this case - singing out a Nickelback song out loud?
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 12,316
    dankind said:
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    Whatever gets them out of my house soonest....
    haha!
    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BCPosts: 9,899
    Also, understanding neuroanatomy and child development does not equate to “making excuses”. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • pjhawkspjhawks Posts: 9,423
    pjhawks said:
    pjhawks said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    have you been in a bad mood or something?  seriously i don't remember you being as contentious as you have seem to be the last few weeks.   i mean i don't necessarily agree with McGruff (as i said in my 1st post i'm on the fence about this one) but i don't see the need to insult either. 
    Calling them as I see them.

    Agree to disagree on pointing out child abuse defending being an "insult".

    Peace be with you.
    you posted a gif telling him to stay classy. i'd call that an insult.  i don't know, call me crazy.

    would verbal abuse have been ok?   as McGruff mentioned calling the cops would have lead to financial issues for the mom with lawyers' fees, court appearances, etc.  
    What is verbal abuse in this case - singing out a Nickelback song out loud?
    calling him an fn mf'ing no good lil piss ant.  or making sing ABBA
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 12,316
    pjhawks said:
    pjhawks said:
    pjhawks said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    have you been in a bad mood or something?  seriously i don't remember you being as contentious as you have seem to be the last few weeks.   i mean i don't necessarily agree with McGruff (as i said in my 1st post i'm on the fence about this one) but i don't see the need to insult either. 
    Calling them as I see them.

    Agree to disagree on pointing out child abuse defending being an "insult".

    Peace be with you.
    you posted a gif telling him to stay classy. i'd call that an insult.  i don't know, call me crazy.

    would verbal abuse have been ok?   as McGruff mentioned calling the cops would have lead to financial issues for the mom with lawyers' fees, court appearances, etc.  
    What is verbal abuse in this case - singing out a Nickelback song out loud?
    calling him an fn mf'ing no good lil piss ant.  or making sing ABBA

    The man they call my enemy. I've seen his eyes, he looks just like me - A mirror...
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 5,846
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    Thank you for your insight mr. sanctimonious.  And remember to please ignore my posts, I honestly have nothing to say to you.  
    When did you move to San Diego?  I thought you were NJ forever...lol?
    For now I am stuck in dirty jersey but eventually I want to retire in Montana.  (although I don't think wifey is going to go for that lol)
    Montana is nice.  Is it the cold or the remoteness that your wife would not like?  Or too far from family?
  • benjsbenjs Toronto, ONPosts: 7,572
    edited May 14
    benjs said:
    It's pretty naive if you do not think parents in Sweden have spanked their kids...it's happening.


    When have I said that I don't think it happens in Sweden?
    Sweden was the first country in the world to forbid violence against a child (corporal punishment) in 1966.

    Just saying.

    See above where you continued to brag about the moral superiority exhibited in Sweden compared to the USA. If your government are making laws that you're proud of but you admit that citizens are ignoring the laws that make you proud, maybe your pride is a bit unearned.

    Just saying. 
    Flawed little yarn you spun there -- but being proud of sane laws not allowing physical assault towards children isn't the same as saying that people don't break laws in a country. Which would be weird to assume. Or be spinning yarns in bad faith. 

    I don't know how it works in your country - a law automatically makes criminal activity drop to 0%? That would be impressive. So no murders, or rapes, or beatings at all then?


    The US high up in the charts yet again:

    The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations  – losing on average between four and seven children every day to child abuse and neglect. 

    More than 70% of Americans agreed in 2012 that, “it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard spanking.”

    Compared to a country who decided to have sane laws regarding this:

    According to a survey, the Swedes' attitude to barnaga has changed sharply since the 1960s when a majority (about 55%) of the country's parents were positive to the children's cause and a majority (about 90%) of the country's parents had agate their children, compared with only 10% during the 2000s.


    So, since the 60s - in which country has it been safer for kids to grow up in? To not have to endure psychical abuse, from parents or other adults? I think it would be the country deciding it's not okey to hit kids. The first country to do so. So let me be a little bit proud. And ofcourse of all the countries that followed.
    I think we have a different opinion on what constitutes abuse, which isn't surprising because I can't even find two definitions of the word that would include or prohibit the same actions. We also have a different opinion on the needs for spanking clearly. I'm sure I'll get backlash for this for a choice of words somewhere in this post, but kids are mentally unsophisticated and highly malleable, and a parent's fundamental responsibility is to act as a steering committee for a child's moral compass. If classical conditioning isn't working with words (aka the unacceptable actions are being repeated), then the impact isn't being felt, and the corrective understanding isn't developed, meaning that a parent is fundamentally failing at their duty.

    Would I ever reach for a belt? No - and I also don't know why I feel that way. 

    Do I think I deserved a spanking or a smack across the face when I was so clearly out of line and my parents had done everything right? Absolutely (and my parents reserved this for the most extreme of situation, when the vocal/instructive approaches had been exhausted) - and the pain does not linger, but you develop an awareness of the ramifications. 

    If you're old enough to have the ability to steal a car from your own parent, you should damn well know better, and you deserve all the embarrassment and shame that comes with being found out. I think she should've dropped his pants and spanked him in front of the world to be honest. 

    Now, on a lighter note, here's a great stand-up routine from Rowan Atkinson on the topic.

    https://youtu.be/fZMoB6ms2mE
    '05 - TO, '06 - TO 1, '08 - NYC 1 & 2, '09 - TO, Chi 1 & 2, '10 - Buffalo, NYC 1 & 2, '11 - TO 1 & 2, Hamilton, '13 - Buffalo, Brooklyn 1 & 2, '15 - Global Citizen, '16 - TO 1 & 2, Chi 2

    EV
    Toronto Film Festival 9/11/2007, '08 - Toronto 1 & 2, '09 - Albany 1, '11 - Chicago 1
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 18,021
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    i'm on the fence about this. I mean, often times my kids won't bat an eye unless my voice is raised. I know I'll never hit them, but jesus, sometimes I wish they had it in the back of their mind that I might. They might fucking listen once in a while.

    My dad raised his voice when necessary and I never hated him. Did I fear him? Maybe a little, but I don't think that's a bad thing. we had a good relationship when I was a kid and have a very healthy and respectful relationship now that we're both adults. we're actually friends that hang out and go to shows and stuff. maybe I'm underestimating what people mean by "screaming at your kids"?
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 18,628
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    Thank you for your insight mr. sanctimonious.  And remember to please ignore my posts, I honestly have nothing to say to you.  
    When did you move to San Diego?  I thought you were NJ forever...lol?
    For now I am stuck in dirty jersey but eventually I want to retire in Montana.  (although I don't think wifey is going to go for that lol)
    Montana is nice.  Is it the cold or the remoteness that your wife would not like?  Or too far from family?
    Too far from family.  We have five kids so by that time I would imagine we'd have a lot of grand kids.  In my perfect world I'd like to go away twice a year in two different locations for about a month each.  That way we would really get a true feeling of what it would be like to live there.  
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business...Posts: 5,846
    dankind said:
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    Whatever gets them out of my house soonest.... :lol:
    LOL...comment of the day...
  • OnWis97OnWis97 St. Paul, MNPosts: 1,678
    I'm at the point where I like to say "my parents never laid a hand on me and I turned out fine."

    It strikes me that teaching a kid not to do something because he might get hit may make him know he should not do that...but does it make him understand why?  And does it help him draw parallels elsewhere?
    1995 Milwaukee
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    2011 Alpine, Alpine
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  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 18,021
    OnWis97 said:
    I'm at the point where I like to say "my parents never laid a hand on me and I turned out fine."

    It strikes me that teaching a kid not to do something because he might get hit may make him know he should not do that...but does it make him understand why?  And does it help him draw parallels elsewhere?
    even on the rare occasion i got the wooden spoon, after things had settled (literally and figuratively), we would have a conversation about why it happened and how to prevent it in the future. I think that's the difference between abuse and punishment. I still won't do it, but I don't blame my dad for doing it. because it was actually rare. 
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BCPosts: 9,899
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    i'm on the fence about this. I mean, often times my kids won't bat an eye unless my voice is raised. I know I'll never hit them, but jesus, sometimes I wish they had it in the back of their mind that I might. They might fucking listen once in a while.

    My dad raised his voice when necessary and I never hated him. Did I fear him? Maybe a little, but I don't think that's a bad thing. we had a good relationship when I was a kid and have a very healthy and respectful relationship now that we're both adults. we're actually friends that hang out and go to shows and stuff. maybe I'm underestimating what people mean by "screaming at your kids"?
    I think there is a difference between raising your voice and screaming, in my view. When you raise your voice the volume is higher and you’re  more forceful but still in control. Screaming implies that the parent has lost control and is resorting to verbal abuse. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 18,628
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    i'm on the fence about this. I mean, often times my kids won't bat an eye unless my voice is raised. I know I'll never hit them, but jesus, sometimes I wish they had it in the back of their mind that I might. They might fucking listen once in a while.

    My dad raised his voice when necessary and I never hated him. Did I fear him? Maybe a little, but I don't think that's a bad thing. we had a good relationship when I was a kid and have a very healthy and respectful relationship now that we're both adults. we're actually friends that hang out and go to shows and stuff. maybe I'm underestimating what people mean by "screaming at your kids"?
    I think there is a difference between raising your voice and screaming, in my view. When you raise your voice the volume is higher and you’re  more forceful but still in control. Screaming implies that the parent has lost control and is resorting to verbal abuse. 
    In my view screaming is definitely not verbal abuse.  When I scream then shit is serious! lol  I remember when my mom or dad used to say my first name and then middle name and then I knew shit was about to go down lol.  
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • mace1229mace1229 Posts: 3,479
    responsible car owner until she wasn't.
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 18,021
    mace1229 said:
    responsible car owner until she wasn't.
    HAHA
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 18,021
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    i'm on the fence about this. I mean, often times my kids won't bat an eye unless my voice is raised. I know I'll never hit them, but jesus, sometimes I wish they had it in the back of their mind that I might. They might fucking listen once in a while.

    My dad raised his voice when necessary and I never hated him. Did I fear him? Maybe a little, but I don't think that's a bad thing. we had a good relationship when I was a kid and have a very healthy and respectful relationship now that we're both adults. we're actually friends that hang out and go to shows and stuff. maybe I'm underestimating what people mean by "screaming at your kids"?
    I think there is a difference between raising your voice and screaming, in my view. When you raise your voice the volume is higher and you’re  more forceful but still in control. Screaming implies that the parent has lost control and is resorting to verbal abuse. 
    yeah, that's a fair assessment....
  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 19,882
    mace1229 said:
    responsible car owner until she wasn't.
    Exactly. Shouldn’t have left the keys laying around. Kind of like a gun.
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  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BCPosts: 9,899
    mcgruff10 said:
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    i'm on the fence about this. I mean, often times my kids won't bat an eye unless my voice is raised. I know I'll never hit them, but jesus, sometimes I wish they had it in the back of their mind that I might. They might fucking listen once in a while.

    My dad raised his voice when necessary and I never hated him. Did I fear him? Maybe a little, but I don't think that's a bad thing. we had a good relationship when I was a kid and have a very healthy and respectful relationship now that we're both adults. we're actually friends that hang out and go to shows and stuff. maybe I'm underestimating what people mean by "screaming at your kids"?
    I think there is a difference between raising your voice and screaming, in my view. When you raise your voice the volume is higher and you’re  more forceful but still in control. Screaming implies that the parent has lost control and is resorting to verbal abuse. 
    In my view screaming is definitely not verbal abuse.  When I scream then shit is serious! lol  I remember when my mom or dad used to say my first name and then middle name and then I knew shit was about to go down lol.  
    I meant when the parent is screaming verbal abuse, such as insults. I doubt your parents actually screamed your name, unless you were blocks away. Maybe they yelled. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 18,628
    mcgruff10 said:
    Unless your goal is to raise a kid that fears and hates you. 
    i'm on the fence about this. I mean, often times my kids won't bat an eye unless my voice is raised. I know I'll never hit them, but jesus, sometimes I wish they had it in the back of their mind that I might. They might fucking listen once in a while.

    My dad raised his voice when necessary and I never hated him. Did I fear him? Maybe a little, but I don't think that's a bad thing. we had a good relationship when I was a kid and have a very healthy and respectful relationship now that we're both adults. we're actually friends that hang out and go to shows and stuff. maybe I'm underestimating what people mean by "screaming at your kids"?
    I think there is a difference between raising your voice and screaming, in my view. When you raise your voice the volume is higher and you’re  more forceful but still in control. Screaming implies that the parent has lost control and is resorting to verbal abuse. 
    In my view screaming is definitely not verbal abuse.  When I scream then shit is serious! lol  I remember when my mom or dad used to say my first name and then middle name and then I knew shit was about to go down lol.  
    I meant when the parent is screaming verbal abuse, such as insults. I doubt your parents actually screamed your name, unless you were blocks away. Maybe they yelled. 
    Yeah looking back at it I don't they ever screamed, just yelled.  I know what you are saying.  My wife and I don't scream, we yell.  I get ya.  
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BCPosts: 9,899
    MC GRUFF 10!! MC GRUFF 10, YOU GET BACK IN HERE RIGHT NOW, MISTER!!
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 18,628
    MC GRUFF 10!! MC GRUFF 10, YOU GET BACK IN HERE RIGHT NOW, MISTER!!
    lol.  Michael was ok.
    Michael McGrath and I was in trouble.
    Michael BRIAN McGrath and I knew my life was ending lol.
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 46,853
    edited May 14
    He deserved it, lol.
    I do not condone beating kids at all of course. Regular spanking (as was acceptable when I was growing up) or this kind of thing, heat of the moment old school ass whomp for stealing a car, no real harm done? I don't really care - not my business, and I don't think it's anyone else's either. If I had kids I don't think I'd do it, but these aren't my kids. FTR, I got hit by a wooden spoon when I was a kid, and I did not fear or hate my mother.... at least not until I was a teenager, and that had nothing to do with the wooden spoon. :lol: Being spanked did not harm me.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 18,021
    public abuse of a child is everyone's business. 
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New JerseyPosts: 18,628
    public abuse of a child is everyone's business. 
    I just don’t see that as public abuse.  The kid stole a god damn car for a second time.  
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • PJ_SoulPJ_Soul Vancouver, BCPosts: 46,853
    edited May 14
    mcgruff10 said:
    public abuse of a child is everyone's business. 
    I just don’t see that as public abuse.  The kid stole a god damn car for a second time.  
    Exactly. I agree that public abuse of a child (or private abuse of a child) is absolutely everyone's business. Obviously my point was that I don't consider this (or regular spanking) abuse.
    Post edited by PJ_Soul on
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon WinnipegPosts: 18,021
    PJ_Soul said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    public abuse of a child is everyone's business. 
    I just don’t see that as public abuse.  The kid stole a god damn car for a second time.  
    Exactly. I agree that public abuse of a child (or private abuse of a child) is absolutely everyone's business. Obviously my point was that I don't consider this (or regular spanking) abuse.
    I misread your quote. I thought you were referring to all abuse/physical punishment. I went back and read it again and realized that's not what you said. 
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